Answers to reveiers questions or statements:

rmarcano321: I used Elektra because I feel she's underused as a love intetrest.

Bladewolf101: I've thought of a Spider-man story where he ends up trapped in the Ami-comi verse, does that count?

Madmaxspidey: Other heronies back home.

Retrogamer7800: No it won't be Typoid Mary.

Rider Paladin: I think that since his healing factor has pretty much brought him back from the dead, regrown limbs and eyes, and kept him from dying of blood loss over the years it had to fall short somewhere, in his case it's alcohol.

Chaos Sorcerer: Oh they'll find out what they did that night pretty quick. I don't think she necessarily hates Peter, she likely recognizes what they man is and has accomplished, she is rather close to Daredevil and he likely talks a lot about Peter to her when he ever gets brought up. Deadpool will crop up a few times. Yes there was a betting pool and it will be shown soon, spoiler, no one won because Elektra was the absolute last possibility they thought he'd end up with. No rich brat is done and gone.

Rougarou144: It is true that between the two, Elektra will be the 'husband' of the marriage, but there will be times that Peter will put his foot down. Granted that will likely end with him getting his ass kicked and maybe some awesome sex from Elektra because him rebelling against her might be a bit of a turn on for her.

Adtr509: Shitstorm? More like a shit Monsoon on the day of the apocalypse. As for Aunt May finding out her beloved nephew went and got hitched with some girl over the course of one night, who also happens to be a assassin... Elektra is gonna quickly notice she's missing a Sai and there's a dead Spider-man on the floor.

turtlefan16: Bragging, more like begging for rescue and everyone taking one look at Elektra's challenging face and them saying 'Screw that noise'.

Yohart Meltz: I've been thinking of a Spider-man and Tomb Raider crossover for a while now, since I played the second game at least.

Disclaimer: I don't own any Marvel characters seen, mentioned or used.


The first thing that Peter felt when he regained consciousness was a splitting headache. The second thing he noticed was that his body was also sore and he was naked. The wall crawler hissed in pain as he sat up and rubbed the sides of his temples, trying to sooth the aching feeling in his skull.

"Man, why is it that every time I get a hangover it feels like I got kicked in the head by Rhino or ... again!" Peter whined tiredly as he rubbed a hand across his face but paused when he felt something metal on his finger brush against his nose.'

'The heck?' Peter thought as he pulled his hand back and squinted in the low lighting at his finger to see what was on it. His eyes widened as he made out a small ring adorning his ring finger "Oh shit..."

It was than that Peter heard and felt movement beside him. Peter paled as he slowly began to turn towards his left 'Please don't be what I think it is, please don't be what I think it is...'

There, sleeping peacefully was a woman, or well the back of her head, her face was buried in the pillow. She, like him was clearly naked and the hand that was lying above the covers had a ring on it too. Two in fact, a wedding band and a engagement ring. Peter paled at this as he slowly tried to climb out of the bed, doing his best to not disturb his apparent wife. He also took this time to glance around the room and was somewhat relieved to see that it was the one he rented. That relief however was quickly shot and hanged when he saw his Spider-man uniform on the ground next to a shredded red dress and a Sai.

"Wait, Sai?" Peter said as he did a double take and saw that scattered across the floor was two Sais, a few small knives and a throwing star.

"The hell did I do last night?" Peter said with confusion.

"I think the easier question is what didn't we do last night?"

Peter flinched at the sound of a woman's voice speaking up beside him. He turned and paled at the sight of a bemused Elektra propping herself up with her hand as she examined her ring. After a few seconds, she frowned "Hmm, the diamond's a bit smaller than what I would like and you bought me silver instead of ruby encrusted gold"

Peter blinked as the dots all came together while Elektra continued to comment on her rings, how sore yet satisfied she felt, and the condition of Peter's room.

He had sex with Elektra Natchios… he had sex with Elektra Natchios… HE HAD SEX WITH MOTHER FUCKING ELEKTRA NATICHOS!

"Oh fuck me" Peter moaned.

The infamous assassin grinned at this "Well if you insist, honey!"

Peter blushed as she brushed the blanket off her and struck a very erotic pose while smiling at him "Well come on, refamiliarize yourself"

Peter swore he was on the verge of drooling before he shook his head and turned away from the laughing assassin "This isn't funny!"

"I think it is" Elektra giggled as she laid back in the bed "I've never seen a man with an erection like yours so flustered before"

Peter quickly reached down and grabbed the blanket to cover his lower half before he scowled at the smirking beauty "Seriously, this isn't funny! We're married!"

"Yes, it appears we are" Elektra said, her smile dropping and replaced with a more serious look "Hmm, I'm going to have to cancel a number of contracts now, lot of them require me to seduce the target and while I'm a great many things, I'm no two timing slut"

"Oh god how am I going to explain this to my Aunt?" Peter said with dread, he could already see and hear the disappointed look on her face as he introduces her to Elektra.

Though now that he thought about it, does he really want the woman to be anywhere near his sweet, fragile Aunt?

Elektra let out a yawn as she stretched her arms over her head, pushing her breasts out and caused Peter's eyes to linger for a moment before he forced them back up to see her smirking face.

"Aww what's wrong Peter, embarrassed?" she teased.

"No!" Peter said with a cough before he adverted his gaze "Can't you just cover up already?"

"Why?" Elektra asked with a frown "Am I not allowed to be naked before my husband, in our room? Am I not allowed to freely express myself?"

At this, Peter paled as he recognized the dark edge in her voice "N-No, y-your more than welcome, it's just you being all... not dressed is distracting"

"Well thank you" Elektra said with a grin before she lazily scanned the floor for her bra "Hmm, do you see my underwear anywhere?"

"Uh no..." Peter said as he tired to look for something that Elektra might have worn last night.

"Oh... well there goes thirty thousand dollars" Elektra said nonchalantly.

"T-Thirty thousand?!" Peter chocked on his own words at hearing the price 'Holy Hell!'

"Oh that's right, your poor, poorer than Matt even" Elektra said with a snort "Well darling, if you ask nicely, I may allow you access to my accounts"

"I don't want access to your blood money!" Peter said in annoyance as he began to look for his phone "The only money I want to be seen being spent by this couple is on divorce lawyers"

"Already wanting to divide the china?" Elektra asked with amusement as she settled back into her bed "And here I thought a man like you would be happy to find yourself married to a attractive, exotic and sexually active woman such as myself"

"Yeah well your little part time murdering people is kinda a turn off" Peter replied dryly as he looked under his Spider-man suit for his phone 'Where'd I put that thing?!'

Elektra smirked at this before she noticed Peter's phone lying on the small nightstand. She quickly reached over and unlocked it, the man's password was $PID3R-M$N RULZ in all capitals, and was greeted to a recording. She hit play and sat back and watched as she was greeted to the sigh of herself on her knees with Peter's cock in her mouth.

"So that's what I look like on my knees" Elektra grinned as she watched the video.

"What?" Peter asked before he saw she was looking at his phone "Hey, what are you doin with my phone?"

Elektra responded by showing Peter the video "Just watching myself suck you off in a way that puts a porno to shame. Have to say Parker, you didn't strike me as the type to record a rut"

Peter watched the video with a growing blush as he watched his drunken self bend Elektra's giggling form over before he began to insert his-

"Delete that!" Peter said as he tried to take the phone from her only for Elektra to lean back and hold the phone close to her bosom "Come on Elektra, delete it!"

"Why?" she asked with a laugh as she watched the video more while Peter covered his face in embarrassment "From what I'm seeing, and starting to remember, we had fun last night... hmm, so that's why my head hurts. You really yanked on my hair last night"

"Sorry" Peter said.

"Don't be, from the looks of the faded scratch marks on your chest, I got you back" Elektra teased as she lifted a leg and ran her toes over the faint scars on Peter's chest.

She licked her lips as she felt the muscle under her foot and the way Peter shivered at the action before she pushed him back lightly with her foot "Down boy..."

It was than Elektra heard a loud moan from her in the video and she turned to see what caused her to make that sound. She quirked a brow as she watched herself get on her knees before she bent backwards and took Peter into her mouth again and began to deepthroat him while he ran his hands across her tits, squeezing the nipples roughly "Huh... I didn't know I was that flexible. Would explain why my back is sore"

"Wait what?" Peter said as he glanced at the video before a massive blush appeared on his face and he turned away and gripped his hair "This is not happening!"

"Oh it is" Elektra said as she continued to watch the video with a thoughtful expression "Is it me, or do my breasts look bigger?"

Instead of looking, Peter sat up from the bed and began to pace back and forth "Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man..."

Elektra giggled at the man's antics before she scrolled through his phone for a few more second and tapped on a few things before she shut the phone off and tossed it aside and looked at Peter with a far more serious look on her face, all trace of amusement gone "Peter, all kidding aside, we need to talk about this"

"That's what I've been trying to do!" Peter said in a exasperated tone.

"As you know, I have a lot of enemies, people that would hurt me in the worse way possible" Elektra said as she brushed a few strands of her hair out of the way"

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing" Peter said with a snort.

"which is why, I'm going to hunt them down and kill them first" Elektra said with a straight face.

"Wait what?" Peter said with wide eyes.

"I originally kept them alive because they kept me entertained and helped prevent skills fatigue. But now that your married to me, I'll be forced to kill them" Elektra explained.

Peter shook his head at this "You don't have to kill anybody-"

"Your hands are full enough for the moment with your enemies" Elektra interrupted Perter with narrowed "Don't worry, I'll fix that when I'm done with my issues"

"I said you don't have to kill anyone!" Peter snapped with anger.

Elektra's eyes narrowed dangerously as she tatted at Peter's angered face. The tension in the air was thick enough that it would need one of Wolverine's claws to be cut through. Finally after what felt like hours, Elektra rolled her eyes "You heroes and your morals"

"It's called having a good upbringing" Peter responded.

"Wouldn't know what that's like" she said off handedly before she sighed "Fine, I won't make your life easier and New York safer by killing off some of the world's most dangerous beings that have no problem contributing to wholesale slaughter or world domination"

Peter pinched the ridge of his nose at this "Look, let's just call up Matt and get him to write up some divorce papers so we can sign then and pretend this whole thing never happened"

"And what makes you think I want this Vegas style marriage to end so soon?" Elektra asked with a grin.

Peter blinked at this "Wait huh?"

She responded with a shrug "What, aren't you curious to see if you and I can overcome one another's differences and make this work?"

"No" Peter said with a deadpanned look on his face "I really don't"

"Well I Do... mainly because I have nothing better to do and the image of Matthew finding out is just too good to pass up" Elektra chuckled.

"Which is why I want to end this!" Peter groaned.

"Fine, call up Matt and tell him to get started on those papers" Elektra said with a sigh as she sat up and climbed out of bed and reached down and picked up her dress and a Sai"If you need me, I'll be in the shower"

She walked past Peter and gave the man a quick pinch on his rear which in turn caused him to jump a little.

"Dude!" he said as he rubbed the spot she pinched.

"Sorry, couldn't resist" Elektra teased as she looked over her shoulder at Peter as she stood in the doorway with her dress over her shoulder "When your done talking to Matthew, do feel free to join me... honey. There's a few spots on my back that I can't reach. Having a extra pair of hands would be... delightful"

Peter blushed as a chuckling Elektra entered the bathroom before she closed the door and turned on the water for the shower.

"Hey go to Vegas they said, have fun they said, what's the worse that could happen aside from going broke?" Peter said with a sigh as he went over to his phone and began to scroll through his contacts for Daredevil's number. After several seconds of being unable to find it, he frowned "I know it's in here somewhere..."

After a few seconds, Peter remembered that Elektra had done a few things on his phone before she tossed it aside. He scowled at the implication that she deleted Matt's number and went to the door and began to knock on it "Elektra?"

He was met with silence, causing him to sigh "Elektra I know your in there. Not answering isn't going to make me come in there just so you can keep teasing me again with your... youness"

Again, he was met with silence and after almost a full minute of knocking on the door, Peter sighed and reluctantly opened the door "Look, Elektra you-"

He paused as he noticed that the shower was empty and the window, which he forgot he had in the bathroom, was wide open and Elektra was nowhere to be seen. Peter stared at the empty bathroom for several moments as steam rolled passed him before he slapped his forehead "Idiot!"

...

"So I take it I should be calling you Miss Parker from now on?" a bored voice responded through the payphone that Elektra was at, several blocks from where she ditched a now angry and worried Peter.

"No, I'd rather not have to deal with thee drama of people who want me dead going after him" she said as she gazed on her finger "That man can get awfully whiny when he wants"

"Then why stay with him?" the person asked in confusion.

At this, Elektra grinned "Yes, why would I stay married to a man that's on the Avengers and has connections to both the X-Men and the Fantastic Four?"

"So your sticking with him because being married to his ass will keep them and maybe SHEILD off your back?"

Elektra snorted at this "No, I'm sticking with him because I may need him to bail me out of any issues I may run into with them... plus the sex was amazing so..."

"And what's to stop him from divorcing you?"

"If I don't sign, he can't make it official, and he strikes me as the man that wants to keep this off the radar from the rest of his friends" Elektra grinned.

The voice laughed at this "Well played... but quick question"

"Yes?" Elektra asked as she kept an eye on the rooftops for Peter, she doubts the man will let her get away that easily.

"Were you serious about canceling the contracts that require you to seduce the mark?"

Elektra sighed at this "Yes. I'm a great many things, but cheater, in this sense, is not one of them..."

"The Kingpin won't be too happy about this... even more so when he finds out who you married" the voice warned.

"The Kingpin doesn't know who Spider-man is under the mask and he has no reason to suspect that I know" Elektra stated.

"I could tell him" the voice warned "For one hundred million Euros, not U.S. dollars, I'd gladly snitch to him"

Elektra hummed at this "Yes, though I'm afraid that hundred million Euros wont stop me from hunting your down and cutting you apart"

"...Fair enough" the voice said sheepishly.

"I'll call you when I get to England so you can set up everything else" Elektra said curtly as she ended the call once she saw the distant form of Spider-man swinging through the air.

She quickly slipped away from the payphone and into a alleyway, it'd take her a hour or two to get back to her apartment and get her things. Plenty of time for her to find a new agent to help manage her contracts.

Her current one had outlived his usefulness and her trust.

'Here's hoping the new one knows not to joke about telling the Kingpin about my new unwilling husband' Elektra thought with a grim smirk 'Else I'll have to start managing my contracts all by myself again...'

"Come on, where'd you go, where'd you go?" Peter repeated to himself as he swung over the busy streets of Las Vegas, searching for the illusive Elektra "Red dress, Greek beauty, red dress, Greek beauty, how hard can that be to find in Vegas?"

Peter landed on a ledge and scanned the sidewalks, what alleyways were visible and even the Taxis for any signs of Elektra. After several minutes, Peter's shoulders slumped as he sat on the ledge and held his head in his hands "Oh, this is just perfect! I go to Vegas and what happens? I get hitched to death given physical form!"

...

On the other end of the universe, the unparalleled beauty that was Lady Death turned away from Thanos's admittedly romantic genocide of a peaceful race of aliens that had discovered the cure to every disease in existence with a frown 'Who the fuck just compared someone else to me!?'

...

Peter sighed at this before he heard that someone was calling him on his phone. Peter quickly pulled it out and saw who was calling him and perked up at the name on the screen and quickly hit answer "Johnny, your a life saver!"

"Uh okay...?" the Human Torch responded from the other end with some confusion "Not that I'm complaining, or that your wrong, but how am I a life saver?"

"Do you still have She Hulk's number?" Peter asked as he continued to scan the streets for signs of his... wife.

"Yeah, why?" Johnny asked with a snort "Want me to hook you up with a date with her?"

"No, I need her to... uh... I need to talk to her about Legal stuff!" Peter explained as he leaped across the street and landed on the ledge of another building.

Johnny made a confused sound at that "Why not just call up Daredevil or something? Isn't he usually your go to guy?"

'Normally yes, and I tried to call him earlier but Elektra deleted his number from my phone and my brain finally woke up and reminded me that he and Elektra used to date. Sooo, asking him to write me up divorce papers for me and his Ex that I'm pretty sure he still loves will end badly... for me' Peter thought before he answered "Uh, he said he was busy and I don't have She Hulk's number, sooo…"

"Okay, fine" Johnny groaned "I'll send you a text in a few"

"Thank you" Peter said with a sigh of relief.

"Man, it must be bad" Johnny joked.

"Oh, you have no idea" Peter said tiredly.

...


And done.

Next chapter, Peter returns to New York...