Here's the second chapter. This story is more of Angst really so it's a bit confusing. Jinki's the one talking here. Not Onew, there's no sangtae. Somehow, for me, Jinki is Onew's ego. If you know what I mean. And Taemin's a bit rebellious... poor baby...
SHINee still is not my property. Review~
Remember, the rating is T for swears.
I waited for so long… 'It's not worth it anymore…' I started to think. I looked out the window and held my chest, tight.
"Kibummie…" I turned around, a boy was coming toward me, rubbing his eyes, and he looked up.
"What's for breakfast, Kibummie?"
"Morning Taemin~" I smiled patting his fluffy hair. He looked at me brightly. I frowned and then pinched his cheeks, "You're not six anymore Taemin, you're seventeen already. You should start acting like a man."
He grinned, obviously ignoring my comment. "How `bout you Kibummie? You're nineteen already. You should learn to move on." He said and then he ran off.
I sighed, dumbfounded, "Shit." I muttered
xxx
Taemin's two years younger than me. I've always treated him like a child. He'd been with us since he was three. His brother died because of Pancreatitis. His parents were gone after he was born, leaving him all alone with his older brother. I was very close to Minho before he died, three days before he left, he told me to take good care of Taemin. Taemin was fragile when he came to us. Right now, I'm blaming myself for why he's like this. Our families were very close to each other but one night, out parents passed away together from a car crash on their way home. The four of us, ever since stayed together. Jinki, being the eldest worked late for us.
I sat down next to my older brother Jinki, across Taemin who was taking a bite on his hotdog.
"Why are you giving yourself a hard time Kibum?" asked Jinki.
I spooned some rice, "What are you talking about?" I said, my mouth full.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about."
I exhaled, stopped chewing and dropped my fork roughly. Taemin looked at me, shocked. Jinki was impassive. "I get it. How many times do you have to point that out Jinki? But is it my fault I'm feeling like this?"
"It's not your fault. Nor is it Jonghyun's"
I stood up, in rage. "Don't you dare mention that name."
"You're immature Kibum. Why can't you get over with such a small thing?"
"Small? You call that small? He was my life before he left! I told you Jinki, this has always been your problem! You always, always have to butt yourself in other people's businesses!"
"No. This is your problem. Not mine. What do you want me to do? Leave you alone? Let you suffer? Make you go through this by yourself? I'm your brother Kibum. Since you met that, that friend of yours I've been nothing but invisible to you. Tell me Kibum. What. Do You Want Me. To Do." is wasn't a question, it was a statement.
Now he was standing up as well, we were about the same height, only Jinki was taller by a few cm's. I looked at him straight in the eye, "Nothing! I don't want you to do anything. How can I even talk to you when I needed you? All I had was him! You were out there at school all the time and me I don't know! Where were you when I needed a brother? Now, who do you think is responsible? If only you were with me when I asked for you I wouldn't seek help from another hyung! You said it's my problem. So be it. I will take care of it myself!"
"You knew why I can't be with you, Kibum I had to study and work part time for us to have something to eat. I left Taemin with you because I knew that he would be taken care of. But what do you do? You go out there, flirt with Jonghyun all day long, not noticing that Taemin is starving at home! "
I grimaced. "Maybe if you stop saying that name I would- " I was cut by a sudden crash of sounds. I noticed Taemin's plate scattered on the floor in pieces.
"Shut up! Shut up you two! What's the hell is your problem? You call yourselves siblings? Just stop it! Stop it! Neither of you want to admit they're wrong! Why? Nothing happens, Nobody wins! The three of us should be taking care of each other! Not fighting! If you two aren't affected by this. Well I have something to say, I am! I am the one being affected alright! Can't you just be happy you still have family?" he finally spoke. All these times Jinki and I have been fighting over this matter. He looked at the two of us, kicked the broken pieces of the shattered glass, then walked past me.
"Tae-" I called, but he already walked out the door. I turned to Jinki, he was looking at me. I felt hot tears trickle down my cheeks… "I'm sorry." It was all that came out.
xxx
I walked around the park, my hands in my pockets. There was no sign of Taemin. I wanted to cry. Taemin, he was right. I've always been the mother ever since, the one telling the two what to do, the one who corrected their mistakes, the one who told them what was right. Although, this time, Taemin made me realize, I'm still young, I'm still a man, I'm still a teenager. Somehow, Jinki was right too. I was too immature. Earlier, we hurt each other with our words. Made our hearts take over us that we even manage to hurt Taemin. Forgetting that Taemin only had us as his family. And then we hurt him… what kind of shit am I?
I sat down a bench; I felt my feet cold from the snow. I lifted my legs to my chest then hid my head. I noticed a tiny shine from my tummy. I lifted my head and got my necklace.
"I promise I'll be back" He said, the escalator bringing him farther away from me.
"When?"
"Soon."
"When is soon?" I asked holding onto my necklace.
"Don't worry, it won't be long." He smiled, the smile that always managed to melt me inside.
"Okay."
I held it so tight that my hand grew numb from pain and coldness. "Soon? Never is soon? Yea okay."
I bit my lower lip as hard as I could, purposely made it bleed. "How long will you make me wait you idiot." I whispered, wiping the blood from my lips.
