Chap. 2 Mr. Grey.
APOV
My workspace is highly personalized, decorated with pictures of me and Kate, me and José, Ray, Mom, my reading group in Portland, also my favorite posters of Literary contests. For me it's important to make my spaces unique and special. It's crucial that even my boss knows that this is my place. I think I'm kind of territorial.
"Ana, it's 6:00. We are leaving. Please remember to turn off the lights. Have a nice weekend!"
"Same to you Carole, I'll leave in half an hour."
So late already. Christian didn't call the whole week, I guess not a new friend after all. That's okay, some people just appears in your life, serves a purpose and then disappears. And if he works on the 20th, it'd be awkward to have lunch with him. I wouldn't know how to use the seven forks and nine spoons he surely uses.
It's been a boring week. There wasn't anything creative, just press releases, formal letters, ugh. But I had fun writing that chapter of my Tess of the D'Urbervilles fanfiction. My Tess is a Bitcherella. Yes, that's fun, but go home and get a life. My subconscious is always right, well, most of the time, or maybe half of the time? Oh, shut up, I keep you connected to this planet. Let's go home, I've worked enough this week.
...
"Kate, I'm home! Where are you?"
"Ana, hi. How do I look in this dress? I'm going out with Roland. What about you? Where is José?"
Roland? Wasn't a Carl last week?
"You look beautiful. José will be back tomorrow morning, had an exhibition in New York." God, this place needs to be cleaned.
"Okay. Don't wait up, I don't know when I'll be back."
"Yeah Kate, you usually don't know."
"Oh, come on Ana, it's Friday, I need to have some fun."
She hugs me warmly, I love her.
"Just don't get a disease, Kate, be careful. If you drink too much you won't think straight."
"Kay Mom."
I roll my eyes. I'm really worried about Kate, a different man every week can't be healthy, right? At least someone in this house is having fun. That's not true, it's just that my definition of 'fun' is slightly different. You won't make new friends stuck at home. Yeah, maybe next weekend, tonight I want a good book and a glass of wine.
I clean the apartment superficially and then lie on our comfortable couch to read the book Carole lent me last Tuesday, it's kind of boring. Like your life. Uff, annoying cricket in my head.
...
What's that? Is that Kate? I must have felt asleep on the couch…
"Let me go Roland, I said no."
"Come on baby, you know you want it."
"Roland no... Please, NO!"
"Yes, you want this, you've been playing with me the whole fucking night!"
Shit, he's going to rape Kate. "Roland, let her go, she said no."
"Shut up bookworm. This's none of your business?"
"I won't repeat it Roland, let her go and get out of here. You are hurting her. She was clear, she said NO."
"Fuck you."
I have to do something, she can't breathe and he's drunk. I kick him in his right leg and when he looks at me I punch him in the face. Ouch…
"Aaaargh, bitch. Fuck this…"
He leaves the apartment and slams the door. I sigh in relieve, that was a very big and drunk man.
Oh no, Kate…
"Kate, are you okay? Please Kate, say something."
"I don't feel well, Ana. Everything aches."
"I'm taking you to the hospital, Kate."
I help Kate to stand up and sit on the couch. I grab my coat, Kate is still wearing hers.
"Give me your car keys Kate, your Mercedes is faster than Wanda, let's go."
I've driven insanely but we are here in one piece. She is so quiet, she's never quiet, oh God.
"Come on Kate."
We enter in the hospital and it's crazy but I don't know what to do, or who to talk with. There is a nurse.
"Please, my friend was attacked, we need a doctor."
"Oh dear. Come with me sweetie."
She takes Kate's elbow and looks at me.
"Miss, you should wait here, someone will let you know about your friend soon, please go to the reception and ask for an emergency form for your friend."
"Okay, thank you."
Kate squeezes my hand to reassure me but I wince, it hurts.
The nurse looks at me worried. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"
"No, I think I hurt my hand punching that asshole's face."
She smiles, takes my hand and checks it. "I will call a doctor for you too, come with us."
"Thank you."
...
...
CPOV
"Susanne, I want you in my playroom in 15 minutes."
"Yes sir." She's looking down, showing who is in command; I love the feeling of control.
Finally, let's have some fun. Too much work this week, too much tension with that sabotage in Africa. The mercenaries blew up half of the food we are sending to the refugees and it drove me insane. That people is starving for Christ's sake, if it were of some use I'd have taken the ships myself to Darfur. Not again, just relax and have a good time with Susanne.
My phone is ringing, where is it? The pocket of the other pants.
"Grey."
"Mr. Grey, sorry for disturbing your Friday night but we have a situation here at the Mile High Club. This is Simon Smith, the manager."
"What's wrong, Mr. Smith?"
"It's about your brother, Elliot Grey, you are his contact person, he passed out."
"What? How?"
"He was involved in a fight and, well, he hit his head against the counter. I'm sorry Mr. Grey, but you need to go to Northwest Hospital, the ambulance is already here and they are taking your brother there."
"Okay, I'm on my way. Thank you".
I need to tell Susanne first, let's get dressed.
I walk down the corridor toward my playroom, and what a sight. Susanne is beautifully waiting for me.
"Susanne, I'm sorry but I have to go, it's an Emergency. We will continue when I come back, I'll wake you up."
"Yes, sir."
Fuck! I really needed this. If Elliot survives he owes me, big time.
...
Where is the reception in this Hospital? So many doors, no signal.
"Excuse me Ma'am. I'm looking for my brother, the ambulance brought him here."
"You need to go to the ER and ask at the reception desk. That red door over there."
"Thank you."
I walk through the red door with the big label 'Emergency' that I didn't see before. Focus Grey. Okay, now what?
"Excuse me, I'm looking for Elliot Grey, an ambulance brought him here some minutes ago."
"And you are?"
"Christian Grey, his brother."
He looks at his computer. "Yes, he arrived ten minutes ago. A doctor must be taking care of him right now, I'll let them know you are here. Please fill this form and wait until someone calls you, Mr. Grey."
Twenty minutes I've been here and still not a word. Should I call Mom? I know she is not working tonight, last week she mentioned having a party at some friend's place. I'd better wait until I have more information, Mom works too much, she deserves to have some fun. Me too.
I scan the room and see a familiar frame walking toward the chairs on the opposite side of the waiting room. Is that Anastasia? Shit, she is injured. I rapidly approach her and touch her shoulder.
"Anastasia, what are you doing here? What happened to your hand?"
She startles, she is nervous. "Oh my God, Christian, you scared me! I'm okay, I'm here accompanying a friend. What a surprise, is everything okay? Are you alright?" She studies me looking for some injure. Ah, I missed that sweet voice, and she worries about me...
"I'm fine. I'm here for someone else too. You have a bandage in your hand Anastasia. What happened?" If it was her boyfriend he's a dead man, how can someone hurt her?
"I punched an asshole's face, I didn't get a good angle and hurt my wrist. Nothing serious the Dr. said." I'm speechless. Right, the Tigress.
She sighs and I realize she looks exhausted.
"I need to sit down, Christian, it was nice seeing you again, excuse me."
What? Is she terminating this conversation? Why? You told her you would call, you didn't. So what, we barely know each other. Exactly, leave her alone. No, I need to know she is okay.
"What do you mean you punched someone's face?"
She looks at me surprised that I followed her to the chairs. I sit and lower my voice. "Please Anastasia, can you tell me what happened?"
She takes a deep breath. "My roommate's date tried to rape her, I was there and stopped him, I injured my wrist in the process, bring my friend to the hospital, end of the story. I'm fine Christian, but thank you for your concern."
I'm astonished, this girl has gone from an extreme situation to another in just five days, and in both situations she reacted with strength.
"Does it hurt?"
She studies my face and I know she can read my anguish. Almost whispering and very slowly she answers me.
"Yes, it does. But the Dr. said I'll be fine tomorrow, I just need ibuprofen for a couple of days." She makes a pause. "What is it Christian? Why are you so worried? I'm here in front of you, you can see I'm fine."
I don't know what to say, I just… worried.
"Your reaction is not normal. You know that, don't you? It's kind of creepy."
She makes a funny face, smiles, and I relax. Like in the park. How does she do that? I was so anxious two seconds ago. "I was afraid someone hurt you, Anastasia."
She grabs my hand and it surprises me, I don't like to be touched. But her voice is like a balm.
"I'm fine, trust me." And I feel it again, the connection beyond words, it's so strange.
"Please, let me do something for you, it'll make me feel better." For not calling you, for you being injured.
"I need a cup of tea, that usually helps my nerves. I prefer a glass of wine but we are in a Hospital... Do you have some red wine there, hidden in your jacket? No?" Another smile, she is like a magician and my smile the rabbit on her hat, unexpected and welcomed.
"They gave Kate some sedative and I have to wait a couple of hours until she is released. Would you go with me to the cafeteria? I don't like it here and I don't want to be alone right now."
Wait, my brother… I forgot about him. "Just let me ask something at the reception desk."
In that moment, a tall man asks out loud: "Who is here with Mr. Grey?"
I stand up and walk toward him. "I am. How is he?"
"Mr. Grey is fine, he is conscious now. The scan shows no concussion. Nevertheless we'd like to keep him here under observation for a while, and if everything is correct he can go home."
"Thank you. I will go to the cafeteria and will come back in a couple of hours."
With that I walk back to the chairs and find an astounded Anastasia. Is she in pain? What are you doing worrying that much about a stranger. She is not a stranger.
"What is it, Anastasia? Are you alright?"
"Oh my God, Christian, you are here with him, with Mr. Grey!"
"Well, yes but…"
"Oh no please, don't tell me anything. That's why I refuse to google him, I don't want to know about his scandals, or his many girlfriends, or the gossips. I don't want that to bias my work."
Sweet Lord, this girl melts my heart. What heart? Yeah, right.
"That explains a lot. Let's go to have that tea, Anastasia."
"Ana."
"Anastasia."
"Ana."
"Anastasia."
And I'm smiling again, a shit-eating kind of smile. It feels right. Being with her feels right, like in the park. Oh, please, act your age.
"Go and take a sit A-nas-ta-sia."
She scowls at me, I like teasing her.
"What is your tea preference?"
"Twining's English Breakfast tea, bag out. If they don't have it, just some black tea, bag out."
Mm, that was very specific, mental note.
I ask for a black coffee and her tea, surprisingly they have her favorite brand. That pleases me, she needs to relax, she is tense, I can tell. I'll try to distract her from what brought her here.
"So, Anastasia…"
I make a pause and she rolls her eyes. It doesn't bother me, why? It doesn't bother me when Mia does it either. Do I care about this girl like how I care about Mia? Confusing. A submissive will get a punishment for that. I definitively see this girl in a different light.
"Assholes apart, how was your week?"
She smiles, I like that. Her eyes! I was so worried I didn't remember, her eyes, what a beautiful blue. Summer sky. Oh, her scent, I'll try that later. Now it'd be… 'creepy'. I smile again. I don't even resist it anymore.
"Very boring, just routine work, like checking spelling and giving some coherence to the documents and that's it."
She sips her tea. "What about your week, Christian?"
My shitty week, what should I say? The truth. Start with your name. No, the moment she knows who I'm it's finished, her easygoing attitude would disappear, I don't want that.
"We lost half of the food we sent to Darfur by ships, I have been so desperate, so frustrated. It's tragic, you know, all that people starving and we can buy them food. I thought it was just a matter of transportation, send the ships, but there is a war going on so it's more complicated than that. We are trying to save the other half of the food to send it by plane. Summarizing, it's been a shitty week."
She looks at me astonished.
"Christian, you care too! You are feeling the suffering of that people, you are identified with them. No wonder you work so close to Mr. Grey."
"I don't want to talk about that."
"Okay."
She makes a pause to sip her tea and looks at me, then blushes when notices my staring look. I can't help it, that blue... Mm, and the goals, the beautiful pink.
"Creepy, don't stare Christian."
I smile again, she is not blushing because she thinks I'm being creepy.
"But I'm talking to you, I need to look at you."
"No, you are staring while I'm sipping my tea. Creepy."
She smiles and I chuckle.
"Okay." I drink my coffee and examine other people's faces, they look so tired.
"Let's change the subject, Christian. Have you gone to the park to run during the week?"
"Every day Anastasia, is been a sunny week. I like running early in the morning, just the trees, the flowers, the birds, and me. What about you?"
"That sounded gay, are you gay?"
What the hell! Ironically, it's the question my family doesn't dare to ask, and they think I AM gay. How rude! Frustrating, beautiful creature.
"No Anastasia, I'm not gay!" I glare at her.
"Oh, come on, there is nothing wrong with that question. It's a new millennium for God's sake." She looks at me with mischievous eyes.
"Yes Anastasia, indeed, it's a new millennium. A man can talk about flowers and be straight, right?"
"Good point, well made Christian."
She smiles. "About your previous question, I hate running. I just do that when… you know, the nightmares."
She makes a long pause. "I'm curious about something but I'm not sure about asking."
"Shoot Anastasia."
"What else do you do to get rid of the anxiety, the dark memories?"
Let's go with the truth again, but this is heavy so I won't give details. "Sex. It's good for decompress."
"Oh." She blushes again, it's amusing. "Maybe I should try that."
She is staring at her cup, red like a tomato. What am I doing giving her ideas like this? I prefer when she seems innocent.
"Really? But you have a boyfriend, or so you said on Monday."
"Well, I don't feel comfortable talking about this with you, so I'll stick to the 'anxiety' part."
She looks at me and I see her struggle trying to compose herself. It's an embarrassing topic for her. A shy girl. Superheroes and now sex, every topic is so unexpected around her, they come out of nowhere.
"Of course I have sex, but I don't use it as a coping mechanism after my nightmares, or when I feel too anxious. Maybe I should try that. It's natural, isn't it? Although, I don't have the 'ideal' situation."
She makes the sign of the double quotation mark with her fingers, cute. Not again.
"What do you mean?" I know what she is talking about, the absent boyfriend always traveling.
She closes her eyes. "José is always out of town. We were so close in College, but now he gets a lot of invitations all around the country, he is a very talented artist. He needs to take advantage now that he's starting a Career, right? But I feel kind of lonely."
"If you feel lonely, you ARE lonely."
I feel bad for her, but then I'm lonely too. There is nobody with me when I feel the rage and the sadness and the anxiety… I've never seen it that way. Because you don't need that shit.
"I know the problem is not just him, he is great when he is around, and I..." She shakes her head, getting rid of some thought, and then open her eyes. "Is your girlfriend always 'available' for you?"
She's so curious. "I don't do the girlfriend thing Anastasia, I don't have girlfriends." That's for fools.
"But then how..."
She covers her mouth with her injured hand, opens her eyes in horror and whispers. "Do you pay for that?"
How dare she! I glare at her and she looks contrite as she tucks an escaped strand of hair behind her ear.
"No Anastasia, I don't do that either. I have sexual partners and we… satisfy each other. There is no money in between. And you're getting it wrong. It's not that I, after an episode, release my anxiety having sex. I kind of bottle it, and then release it later... in a particular way."
"Ah, then I can definitively do that."
Oh no, I'm creating a monster.
"How do you do that? To bottle it."
"Years of training. I don't want to talk about this, I don't feel comfortable."
Mostly because I can't stop picturing her having sex and I don't want to. Fuck! I can't talk about this with her. It changes the perspective, it changes everything.
"Why?"
"Because I'm monogamous in my relationships and right now I want to uncork the bottle. It's not right."
Let's see if she takes the hint. She opens her eyes like plates and flushes, yes, she took it.
"Well, I'm monogamous too. You can go if you want, THAT never crossed my mind." I know, she's never looked at me that way, another thing that makes me feel comfortable around her. Not like those annoying girls, simpering and mooning over me all the time.
"You are overreacting, we just need to stop talking about sex. It's been a long week."
And again, I don't want her to leave. "Your turn. What do you do apart from running?"
She shakes her head. "I'm less interesting. For me it's reading, getting lost in some fictional story gives me perspective, ironic, and I don't need company for that."
She smirks. "But maybe I change to something more life-affirming, you have very good ideas."
I chuckle, she is making fun out of our awkward situation.
"Let's go Christian. I'm afraid they release Kate and she gets scared thinking she is here alone. Thanks for the tea."
She is a good friend, I like that. Is that Kate a good friend too?
"You are welcome, Anastasia. You really care about your friend, don't you?"
"Yes, maybe now she will listen to me and start self-defense classes. If she is going to be sleeping around with every man she wants, then she needs to go out prepared, and I'm not talking about condoms."
I laugh at her outburst. She is angry and her brows knit together, forming a small v above her nose.
"Good point, well made Anastasia. Let's go to the ER."
...
We are in the ER. She has felt asleep and her head is resting on my shoulder. It's so intimate that I don't want to move and risk the moment. What is this? I feel relaxed and there is a warm sensation in my chest. I embrace the peace again.
Suddenly, a blond girl approaches us, nods at me, and touches Anastasia's arm. She looks familiar.
"Ana, wake up, I'm here, let's go home."
Anastasia wakes up and stands up hugging her friend. "Kate, how are you? How do you feel?"
"I'm fine, Ana, much better now, if it weren't for you..."
She sobs and hugs her friend again. Then turns toward me and offers her hand.
"I'm sorry, I forgot my manners. How are you Mr. Grey?"
She knows me, of course she knows me, she's Eamon Kavanagh's daughter. Oh shit. I look to Anastasia and she is in shock.
"Mr. Grey? Mr. Grey?"
"Anastasia, I…"
"Mr. Grey?"
What should I say? I probably made a mistake. "Yes, Christian Grey."
She is so pale all of a sudden. What is she thinking?
"Let's go, Kate." She says without taking her eyes off me. Those beautiful blue eyes looking at me like that... Painful.
"Good bye... Mr. Grey." So painful.
She emphasizes the last words, turns around, and leaves the ER with her friend. What have I done? How do I fix this?
