Hi, everyone! Sorry for the delay, but my teachers have been pounding me with homework these past few weeks (at least 2 hrs a night!) and I had a ton of tests last week. But I'm on Spring Break starting March 31st, so I'll get a lot of writing done then!
Disclaimer: I own nothing
I know the right words to say
Like "I don't feel well," "I ate before I came"
Then someone tells me how good I look
And for a moment, for a moment I am happy
But when I'm alone, no one hears me cry
-"Courage" by Superchick
Waking up is a chore the next morning. My body feels heavy, and my head seems to be stuffed with cotton; my limbs are practically made of stone, weighing me down until I give up and just lay there.
Of course, this doesn't work. A knock rings out at ten AM, interrupting my process of staring at the wall and trying to make the hunger pangs go away.
"Leo! Come on; it's time for you and the other boys to train!" Piper calls.
On the ship, we have specific training times. The boys train from ten to lunch, and the girls one to three; before dinner, the girls and boys sometimes like to mix it up by battling each other. I'm usually doing repairs during the last session though.
"Alright, Pipes! I'll be there in a second," I tell her, yawning and flinging my legs over the side of the bed.
She continues to knock, incessantly, until finally, I swing the door open and glare at her with irritation that appeared so suddenly, it took me by surprise.
"What?" I snap. "I said I was coming, but could I get dressed first?"
That was rude; I opened my mouth to apologize, but Piper beat me to the punch.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I say, trying to be more polite, but really just wanting to crawl back into bed and sleep for eternity.
"Well, you're just... a little... cranky; you're never cranky."
Oh, trust me, Pipes, I'm cranky all the time; I just hide it because someone needs to be the positive one here.
I sigh. "Look, Piper, I'm fine. Just... woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess. I'll be fine once I get moving."
She nods, slowly. "If you're sure."
Then, she leaves.
Oh, what a big surprise! The Voice snarks. Your so called friend leaving you! Like that hasn't happened before.
Shut up, I snap.
Don't tell me to shut up! If I recall, you invited me in the first place; so don't act like you don't want-or need- me around.
This is true. I need the Voice to keep me sane. In a strange way, the Voice is driving me insane, but when the Voice is around, I feel in control, indomitable. I can't imagine a life with the Voice. The Voice is my best friend and my worst enemy.
That probably doesn't make any sense, but trust me, if you've been where I've been, it would.
I get dressed in a long sleeved camp shirt and jeans, and I smile when the clothes (which I got less than seven months ago when I got back from the quest for Hera) are baggy on my frame. I just hope my pants don't fall down; suspenders are a hindrance during training, and I am not, under any circumstances, wearing a belt.
An involuntary shudder runs through me before I compose myself and step outside of my room.
In the training room, Percy, Jason, and Frank are waiting, looking bored.
"There you are," Jason said. "We were starting to think you died."
"Sorry. Slept in. Who's sparring with who?"
"You spar with Jason first, then me, then Frank," Percy mumbles with a slight glare. He still hasn't entirely forgiven me for the eidolon incident a few days ago, even when I tried to explain what happened.
Would you forgive you? The Voice asks.
Good point.
I take a dagger from the weapons area; normally, I use a hammer, but since this is sword fighting, I use a dagger. I'm fast and clever, like Annabeth; with Percy and Jason, they are more strength than strategy, making swords the best choice for them. And Frank has the aim of a child of Apollo, so he almost never uses a sword.
Sparring with Jason is hard. He's stronger and leaner and more experienced than I am. My dagger's on the floor in twenty seconds flat; it beats my record of ten seconds, though, so I'm not complaining.
The fight doesn't last long; Frank and I both lose within thirty seconds, and we switch so I'm up against Percy.
If I thought sparring with Jason was hard, sparring with Percy is impossible. He disarms me in pry five seconds.
At least Frank could hold his own for thirty, the Voice sneers. Pathetic.
Finally, I'm up against Frank, and things seem to be right with the world again. Jason and Percy would definitely put up a good fight for at least a minute before Percy would undoubtably win. And while I probably wouldn't win, I could hold my own against Frank; that I was sure of.
Frank and I start going at it immediately, and I'm shocked to realize that Frank has a lot of rage, and that shows in his sword fighting.
When he nearly cleaves me in half, I mutter, "Geesh, man. What did I do to you?"
"Look, Valdez, I don't know what the hell happened between you and Hazel, but stay away from her," Frank growled.
"What?" Sure, Hazel is pretty and I do like her, but Frank is her boyfriend; I'd never steal another guy's girl!
"Look, you're a player, Valdez. You're the kind of guy that would sweep a girl off her feet, the leave her in the dust."
It takes every ounce of willpower I have not to slap him when he says that.
"Look, I flirt, man, but my mother taught me better than that!"
"Oh, yeah, what kind of dating advice did your mother give you? How to get girls? Or how to steal them?"
I can't hold it against Frank; he was mad and he felt like he needed to protect Hazel. And he didn't know...
But his statement makes me realize that my mom will never give me dating advice. And it's all my fault.
"Frank..." Jason says, looking shocked. Percy just looks confused; at first, he looks like I got what was coming to me, but then, he saw my expression.
I realize that Percy and Jason's fight had long since ended, but I don't really care.
I drop my dagger and run from the room.
I feel the need rising, and my head hurts; I'm walking in a daze, and I'm just so mad and hurt and...
I arrive at my room, and I retrieve a shoebox from under the bed. One of many.
I throw it open and stare at the food inside- everything from candy bars to bags of potato chips to a hundred other things.
Then, I start to eat.
FRANK'S POV
For five long seconds after Leo left, Jason, Percy, and I just stand there in silence.
"What'd I do?" I finally ask. Sure, the comment was out of line, but one, Valdez tried to steal my girl and I just know he would've hurt her like every other player in the world. And besides, Valdez wasn't one to be so emotional, so what am I missing here?
Jason sighs. "Frank, Leo's mom died when he was eight. She never got the chance to give him dating advice."
What I did crashes down on me; I didn't know... I guess Leo didn't want me to. Didn't want anyone to know.
I groan and put my head in my hands. "I'm such a jerk."
Jason smiles. "No, you're not. I'll admit, that comment was rude, but you're a nice guy overall. And Leo isn't one to hold grudges."
I nod and say, "I should go apologize. I'll be right back."
As I walk towards Leo's room, I try to think of what I'm going to say.
Sorry doesn't mean anything unless you say what you're sorry for, my mom used to say.
I'm sorry for accusing you of stealing Hazel.
I stop short. What are you thinking, Frank? Hazel is not a toy that some people can steal from you.
I'm sorry for thinking you'd hurt Hazel.
No, that's practically an invitation for him to date her.
I'm sorry for bringing up your mom.
That doesn't even begin to describe how sorry I am. Too little, too late, I can almost picture him saying.
"Hey, Frank," Hazel says as she walks up to me. "Aren't you guys supposed to be training?"
For a moment-just a moment, I assure you- I considered lying and telling her training had ended early. But no; my mother had taught me better than to lie.
Didn't she also teach you not to insult people, or to accuse them of things without knowing the entire story? My self conscious snarks.
You've got me there.
Nonetheless, I decide to go with the truth.
"I said something I didn't mean to Leo, and he ran off," I say with a sigh.
Hazel frowned. "Is he okay?"
I smile, softly. "He's Leo Valdez. Of course, he's fine. I'll apologize, and everything will go back to normal."
Hazel smiles and nods. "Alright. I'll see you at lunch."
I continue the walk to Leo's room, but when I arrive at the door, I stop.
There's a bathroom across from Leo's room.
And from inside, I hear the sound of someone throwing up.
LEO'S POV
I feel so full. My stomach hurts, which I guess makes sense, considering I've eaten more today than I have in the last six months.
I tally up the calories from everything I ate, and I drop the pencil.
4, 077 calories.
I haven't binged like that since I was... thirteen. And back then, I'd eaten even more, at least 10, 000 calories.
Come on, Valdez, you know the drill. You screwed up; now, you have to fix it.
I stuff all the wrappers back into the shoeboxes and throw them almost violently under the bed before I stand and head to the bathroom.
I usually use this bathroom for purging because no one ever comes down here. The only things on this end of the hallway is my room, the bathroom, and a staircase to lower parts of the ship, where the stables and the engine room are. The perfect place for privacy.
I kneel on the floor and remove a loose floorboard, where I keep water bottles and cans of Diet soda. It would be incredibly suspicious if I were to bring things like this into the bathroom, so I store them in this compartment for emergencies.
I start to chug water and diet coke until my stomach feels ready to implode, but I don't stop until the bile starts to rise out of stomach of its own accord.
Slamming down my fourth water bottle, I force my fingers down my throat and watch as my binge comes out.
The Voice lives by a rule: 3 or more.
Therefore, I purge twice more, but then, I purge again. And again. Before I know it, I've gone through this process seven times total.
When I do it for the eighth time, something makes me stop.
There's something in my mouth. Something warm... and coppery.
I spit it into the toilet.
Blood.
I flush the toilet and stumble to my feet to wash my hands and rinse the rest of the blood from my mouth.
Thinking about the dream last night, I realize that... my worst nightmares are coming true. This should make me stop.
But it doesn't. I don't want to stop. I need the control that this brings; I need to be... good enough; I want to be wanted.
When I started doing this, I was praised. Boys and girls alike used to ask me how I did it, how I was so disciplined and had so much self control. My gym teacher used to compliment me on how the weight loss improved my fitness. I was able to run faster, so the system had a much harder time catching me.
I couldn't stop now. I'd come too far. I'd gone from one hundred and twelve pounds to...
Speaking of that...
I stand on the scale and watch as red blinking numbers slowly come into focus.
Seventy two and a half pounds. I'd lost an entire pound since this morning. A smile slowly grew across my face.
I guess I'd better go talk to the guys and apologize for bailing; I shouldn't be so... emotional.
I open the door, only to barely dodge the fist that had been poised to knock.
When I get over the shock of nearly getting conked out, my eyes land on the person standing outside the bathroom door.
Frank Zhang.
And he looks... concerned?
So what do you think? And I know that 72.5 pounds seems impossible, but I know a girl that only ways 65 (she's really short and does sports), so it is definitely possible to weigh that much as a teenager, although for Leo, it's unhealthy; for the girl I know, it's natural.
Anyway, how will Frank react? Can Leo lie his way out of this one?
To be continued...
