Scully just stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what to say, what to think, what to do. Nothing came to her except the faint realization that her hands were shaking. It was out of left field. No, not even left field. This came from the hot dog stand around the corner from the stadium. It wasn't even a baseball. It was a sock or a Frisbee or something so far out of the realm of possibility that it was possible simply because it existed. Her mind boggled at the thought and she took several deep breaths, trying to get herself back on level ground.

"Are you still with me, Scully?"

"Yeah. I'm just…what's going to happen?"

"I don't know."

"Are you scared?"

"Are you female?"

She smiled a little and he reached over and took her hand.

"Scully I need something from you."

"What?"

"I need to know that we're going to be okay. I need to know that we're still going to be friends, that you'll be there for me."

"Always, Mulder. You can't get rid of me that easily."

She offered him a cheery smile; he didn't need the stress of her discomfort with the situation. He smiled back at her, the furrow that had been in his brow ten minutes ago now decreased.

"I wish I could stay here and hash all this out with you, come up with a plan and answers, but I have to get back. Kayla's with Mary's sister and I don't want to leave her for too long."

"You should go then. We can talk more later."

He nodded and they stood up from the table, discarding their coffee cups and heading out the door. They stood next to her car, neither one of them sure what to say or how to end this visit. Finally she stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist silently offering him some support. He took it, cradling her against him, wanting to hold onto this last moment of just the two of them. He knew this had to be hard on her, had to make her think of Emily, but he also knew that she'd never forgive him for keeping it from her.

"Call me when you get a chance. We'll figure this out."

He nodded and planted a kiss on her forehead before letting her go.

"Thanks, Scully."

She nodded and opened her car door, not wanting to leave him now, but needing some time alone also.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"I love you, Scully."

"I know. I love you too."

She gave him one last smile before they parted and she started her car.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry she mentally chanted, taking deep breaths as she made her way to the interstate and into the flow of traffic. She couldn't deny the sharp pain of jealousy that had stabbed her chest at the thought of Mulder with a child. She couldn't deny the joy she felt for him either, and she couldn't reconcile the two emotions no matter how hard she tried.


Mulder opened the front door and stepped inside the house, sighing while rubbing his eyes. That was probably the most difficult conversation he had ever had with Scully and he wasn't sure how they would ever be the same again.

He could hear voices in the kitchen and he walked that direction, needing to see his daughter, to wrap his arms around her and just hold her for a while. She was kneeling on a chair that had been pushed up to the counter and she and Caroline were making cookies. Her long hair had been pulled up into a ponytail, but still hung halfway down her back, the ends coming together in one large curl.

"Hey kiddo," he greeted, crossing the room. She turned to him and gave him a half smile, then reached her hands out to be picked up. He obliged and she clung to him tightly, not saying a word. She'd been quiet, a stark change from her normal constant chatter. She was grieving in the only way she knew how, but he was afraid that she was going to retreat into herself more and more the longer he let this go.

"Hey Caroline. How was she?"

"Just fine. How was your appointment?"

"Better than I expected."

Caroline nodded and dropped a spoonful of dough onto the baking sheet. She, like her sister had always been supportive of Mulder as Kayla's father, and had made it clear that she would always support his decisions as long as they were best for his daughter.

"Kayla, do you want to help me finish with these cookies?"

Kayla shook her head and slid her thumb into her mouth, a habit she had broken over two years ago. Mulder sighed and rubbed her back wanting desperately to lift this blanket of sadness, even just for a moment.

"Hey baby," he started, shrugging his shoulder a little so she would look up at him. "I want to talk to you about something. Is that okay?"

She nodded and he moved them into the other room, sitting down on the couch. He wasn't exactly sure how to tell his daughter that chances were good that he was going to make her move to a place she had never been. He didn't want to cause her more anxiety. Starting off slowly, he explained why they might need to move, gave her all the reasons he wanted to be able to stay. He talked about D.C. and told her all the things she would like about living there, but then made it very clear that she needed to tell him how she felt. She was quiet for several minutes, picking at the threads coming off of the rip in her jeans. He remained patient. He knew she was going to say something, she was just working up the courage to do it.

"Daddy, I just want to live with you," she said finally.

"Do you want to stay here or go to D.C.?"

"Maybe if we could live in D.C. and then visit Auntie Caroline for Christmas and stuff? That would be okay with me."

His heart broke as she looked up at him, her caramel colored eyes full of unshed tears. She was trying so hard to be brave, and he had no idea how to tell her that I was okay not to be.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

"Yes," she answered with a nod. "I want to live in D.C. with you, just like we used to talk about."

"Alright."

She snuggled into him and sighed tiredly. That was the most she had talked in the last few days and she just wanted to close her eyes and rest for a while.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah honey?"

"Auntie Caroline said that we're having a funeral for gramma."

"Yeah, we are."

"She said that I can cry if I want to. But isn't crying for babies?"

"Not at all. If your heart hurts and you want to cry, then cry."

"I miss gramma."

"I know you do."

"I wish she could come back."

"I know you do. I do too."

"I'm going to take a nap now."

"Do you want me to put you in your bed?"

"No. I just want to stay here with you. Okay?"

"Okay, baby."

She sighed and let her eyes close and soon she was asleep. He looked down at her and let his own tears come, loving the fact that she would be with him, but hating the circumstances that made it possible. It was beauty from ashes, and there was nothing he could do about it now. He just had to be there for her, be the dad that he hadn't been before, despite his desire to be. She deserved that, and he would do anything to make sure she was safe, happy, and healthy. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and closed his eyes too, joining his daughter in a dreamworld where all was suddenly right again.