Hey guys! I'm so sorry this chapter took so long, I didn't have internet for most of the past few weeks, I was sick, and I had a serious case of writers block. But I hope it's worth the wait! This whole writing from a guy's pov is a new thing for me, so I have no idea if it's good or not. I certainly hope it was worth the wait! :D
Jasper POV
Today is the day I come back. After almost 6 months of pain and heartbreak, how will she welcome me? Will she be afraid? Will she hate me? Will she be happy to see me because I have news of him? Or will she simply be happy to see me? Will we become friends, or-
No. My thoughts come to a screeching halt. What am I thinking? Friends with the human girl I tried to kill? Hah! She probably resents me for being the reason the love of her life, and my former adoptive brother, left her.
And on top of that, why would I even want to be her friend? She's just a girl. A stupid and dull human. But even as I think the words, I don't believe them. For a human, she's exceptionally smart and exciting. I can't figure out why, but the thought of seeing her makes me nervous. Maybe it's because I know she will be upset after I say what I came to say.
"Excuse me sir, but you have to order, or we have to ask you to leave." A sad voice cuts through my thoughts. I glance up at a cute but obviously depressed waitress.
"Sure, no problem. I'd just like a cup of coffee, please," I say quietly, smiling. I send her a few small waves of calm and happiness.
She grins back at me. "Sure thing!" As she walks back to the counter of the small coffee shop, she whistles an upbeat tune that makes her feel happy and proud.
I sigh happily, amazed once again, by how much I have changed in the last 6 months.
She comes back a few minutes later with a foul smelling cup that has the name "Amanda" and seven digits written on it in thick sharpie.
"Thank you, Amanda." She doesn't know that I'm not thanking her for the drink. I'm thanking her for not giving me the urge to kill her.
"No problem. Feel free to call me any time." She winks one overly colorful eyelid. I smile widely, but don't reply.
A few hours later, I find myself wandering through the woods just outside of Forks. The sun is out, though there are a few clouds in the sky. I can hear the sounds of birds and squirrels and deer in the trees around me, but I know they won't come close. So I stalk them, instead.
Eventually I come to a small clearing, where a single young doe grazes. There is a limp in her step, so I know she would never get away in time. I inhale deeply. Her scent is good, but not great. Pleasing, but not exciting. This is the biggest of many downsides to a vegetarian diet.
I lean down into a crouch as it comes closer, completely unaware of the danger. I am completely focused. This animal is my lifeline. It takes another step towards me, and I jump. The second I land on it, it falls to the ground. I sink my teeth into it's throat before it has a chance to fight back, letting its smooth blood flow down my throat. I cringe when I feels it's pain, and once again curse my "gift."
When I drain the last drop if blood and the deer is dead, I stand and wipe my mouth, removing all traces of it.
As I move deeper into the forest, I become aware of a very familiar smell. Human. There's a touch of strawberries. Bella? I move faster towards the smell until I reach another clearing. This one is perfectly circular, and filled with beautiful flowers.
And there she is. Bella. She lays in the middle of the clearing, eyes closed, beautiful brown and red hair spread around her. She's frowning her small hands are curling into fists over and over. She doesn't seem to realize she's doing it. I move towards her, slowly so that I don't make any noises to alert her of my presence, and lay down on my side next to her. Suddenly I wonder how I ever missed this much beauty. How did I not notice how even when she's frowning, she's almost perfect? Suddenly I want to know what she's upset about.
Her eyes open and she rolls onto her side, facing me. The second she sees me, she screams. I quickly cover her mouth, my hopes dashed. She's terrified of me.
When she finally calms down, I see a flash of recognition in her eyes, and I feel relief and happiness in her emotions. I remove my hand from her lips. I immediately miss the warmth of her breath on my cold skin.
"Jasper?" I force a smile onto my face, despite the spiraling inside me. I had lost my entire family, decided to come here, of all places, just to see this girl, and she screams at the sight of me. Serves me right, I suppose, after what I did to her. She lost an entire family because of me, so I deserve the same cruel fate.
"Afternoon darlin'," I greet her.
Bella sits up, still staring at me. Her emotions are a sea of surprise, fear, and happiness. Her hands curl into little fists in her lap, but not before I see them shaking. I don't know which of her emotions causes this, but it makes me nervous. "What are you doing here? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy you're here. It's just such a surprise. They warned me someone would be back, I just thought it would be-" She stops suddenly. "Not you. I thought it would be not you."
"You thought it would be Edward?" I can't keep the sadness out of my voice, and I see the curiosity in her eyes that lets me know she heard it.
She nods. "Is he back?"
"No, but he is the reason I'm here. I have news of him." I can't stop the disgusted look on my face. But after what he's done, I have every right to be disgusted.
"What news?" she asks frantically, he worry pressing against me, threatening to overwhelm me. "Is he okay?"
"Don't worry, he's fine. He's just... done something stupid." My fists clench around fistfuls of grass as I remember the latest drawing of Alice's visions.
A large crowd of dark cloaks. Underneath the hoods, dark glaring red eyes peer out at the world. In the front, four of the people lifted the hoods away from their faces. On the left and right were the very bored looking Marcus, and his cruel looking brother, Caius. In the center stood Aro, with his childish smile and milky red eyes. And beside him stood Edward. Though he is almost 100 years old, Edward is but an infant to the Volturi. Yet they allow him to stand at the front with the oldest members. This shows that he is trusted above the entire guard, and has proven himself to them in ways nobody else has.
The entirety of the Volturi glide through the forest, but where they were is impossible to know. The snow on the ground was fresh and undisturbed, and through a space in the trees, you can see a beautiful full moon. Even in a picture, the scene is terrifying.
"No," Bella whispers. "He wouldn't. He... How could he do something like that?"
"I don't know. But the whole family is in a fit about it. They're all acting like he's dead or something, and they say that his last wish was to keep his promise to you, so that's what they're doing. They're 'making it seem as if he never existed,'" My teeth grind together. "I think it's bull shit, excuse my language. I told them, you deserve to know. But hey wouldn't listen. 'it's not what Edward would've wanted,' they say. Well who cares what Edward would want? He left them. And they're still bending over backwards to make him happy. Why would they-" I stop suddenly when I feel a warm, soft hand cover my clenched one. I stare down at our hands, shocked. She's holding my hand.
"Shh, Jasper. Deep breath, okay?" I do as she asks. "Thank you for telling me. But I know that's not the only reason you came." She boldly looks me in the eyes. What happened to the clumsy, shy girl we left six months ago? I let go of the grass, and hold her hand in mine, careful not to break it.
"What do you mean?" I ask slowly. She has no way of knowing. She has had no contact with my family, aside from me, since we moved.
"You could've called me, or sent me an email, or even a letter. Nobody puts this much effort into telling their brothers ex-girlfriend that he's turned evil." I see the brave face she puts on, but it doesn't fool me. I also feel her sadness and anger as she says it. I know this isn't as easy for her as she's making it look.
I sighs. I know she deserves to know the other reason, but I don't want to tell her. Don't want to bring it up. Don't want to remind her of her fears. But I have to say it. "You're right. I came here to apologize."
"For what?" she asks. I know she already knows.
"For trying to kill you 6 months ago." She flinches away from me as I remind her of everything that I did. "I am so ashamed of that. I can't imagine what you must think of me. I am truly sorry for what I've done to you, and all the consequences for my actions, and I hope that one day I can make it up to you."
She holds my hand tighter, and her sadness grows into an incredible void that threatens to swallow me whole. "It's okay, Jasper. Really, I don't blame you, and I never have. And I'm okay now, really."
"Liar," I whisper, desperate to keep my voice even, to not show that her emotions are effecting me.
"What?" she questions, completely confused. Then her eyes widen as she remembers my power. "Oh, right. I'm sorry for lying."
"It's okay. It's your survival instinct. And besides, I wouldn't have even been able to tell if I wasn't feeling so depressed all of a sudden. Would you like me to cheer you up?"
"If it'll help you." I roll my eyes, but do as she says. Suddenly the wind shifts, and I notice a new smell. Somewhere between her mouth-watering blood, and the scent of her strawberry shampoo, a new odor becomes known.
"Bella, what's that smell?" I ask, taking a deep breath through my nose. "You kind of smell like wet dog. You don't have a dog, do you? Alice would've seen that, I think." I see her flinch at Alice's name, and immediately regret bringing it up.
"Why would Alice have seen me? Was she watching?" Her hurt and confusion was obvious in bother her voice and emotions. She slips her hand out my own and wraps her arms around her torso.
I hesitate to tell her the truth. I know it will only upset her more. But I can't make myself lie to her, either. I look down at my hands in my lap, watch as the sun reflects off my skin in a way that would fascinate me if I was a human. "Yes," I mumble.
"Yes what, Jasper?" she demands, getting angrier with each passing second.
I look up at her, my eyes full of sorrow and regret. "Yes, Alice was watching you. Edward told her not to, but she wanted to keep and eye on you. She wanted to make sure you were okay. She even kept something of a diary. She filled it with sketches and descriptions of how you were and what you did every day."
Bella holds perfectly still, aside from the shaking in her hands. I see a storm brewing in her hard, chocolatey eyes. "She knew? You all knew?" she asks, deadly quiet. I open my mouth to respond, to sooth her, to distract her, anything to keep her from the hurt that I know is threatening to boil over into tears, but she's already moved on, her voice raising as she rants in a way I never expected. "How could she? How could she watch me suffer like that, and then just do nothing? How could she let me hurt Charlie, and Renee, and my friends? And the emails! She knew about the emails, and she didn't even have the decency to send me one with her real address! And YOU! You and the rest of your family knew as well! There are no secrets in that damn house. You all knew, and you all did nothing. You saw me in pain, saw me crying and screaming night after night, saw me spiraling into a deep depression, and none of you came! I needed you and you stayed away! I can't believe you!" She stands as the tears finally come, sliding down her face, breaking my heart with each one. Leaving me to wonder once again why this simple and extraordinary human has so much control over me.
I want nothing more than to calm her down. Remove her sadness and fury. Make her forget her pain. Make her smile. But I know I can't. I have to let her get her anger out, or it will still be there when she's alone. I have to let her have her own, honest feelings. So instead I sit before her and endure her pain, each second of it making me more and more miserable.
"I thought someone in that family would've cared enough. I thought we were like family." She's whispering now, pain dripping from every syllable. "I know not everyone liked me, or even approved of me, but I still thought..." She turns away from me as silent sobs rack through her body.
In a flash I'm standing behind her. Before I can talk myself out of it, I rest my hand lightly on her shoulder. At first she shies away from me, uncertain and no longer used to the ice-cold touch of my kind. "Bella, I'm so sorry," I whisper.
Suddenly she turns towards me and presses her face to my chest. I slowly wrap my arms around her, hesitant to see how she'll react. This time she relaxes under my touch. I rub small circles on her back, waiting for her to let it all out. I don't know how long we stand there, but by the time her heart and emotions calm, the sun is setting.
She looks up at me, puffy eyes, tear streaked face, and the only this I notice is the way she stares at me. Her eyes like liquid chocolate, and I'm drowning. Is this what he felt like, looking into them? Somehow, I doubt it.
"Jasper?" she whispers as I wipe the tears from her face softly.
"Yes, darlin'?"
"What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing, honey. Nothing. It's them. They don't understand how much they hurt you."
"And you do? I mean, aside from the emotion feeling thing."
"Yes, I do." I admit. "I left them. I knew it was wrong, I knew that it was none of her business. That she didn't have the right to spy on you and not help you. But no matter what I said, or did, she wouldn't change her mind. She kept doing it, and stayed away. Even the first time she saw you jump, and didn't see you come back up. Even when she thought you were dead, she stayed away. And then the next vision came, and she assumed she just wasn't paying close enough attention. Still, she kept going. So I left. I was disgusted with every part of my family, so I left them. I now go by Jasper Whitlock, the name I carried before I was changed."
"For me?" she asks, still whispering. I see tears in her eyes again, but I know they're not tears of sadness this time.
I nod. "Mostly, yes."
Her hand comes up to cup the side of my face, and without meaning to, I lean into her warm touch. She stretches towards me on her tip toes, staring deep into my eyes. I can't tell what she's feeling, it's too confusing. She's nervous and confused, and still a little sad and angry. But as she closes her eyes, and puckers her lips, I know I can't kiss her while she's like this. I put my hands on her shoulders, gently stopping her in her place. Her eyes fly open, and she freezes.
"I... I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." A mixture of hurt and anger and confusion build up inside her. She turns, and runs into the forest.
"Bella!" I call, but it's too late, she can't hear me. Probably wouldn't come back even if she did. I know from Alice's visions that she's been out here enough times to find her way back without difficulty, so I let her go. My eyes wander to the ground in front of me, and I notice a set of silver keys laying on the ground.
Of course she left them, I think, chuckling a little. I pick them up and slide them into my pocket, making a mental note to return them to her tomorrow.
When the sound of her running fades out of my hearing range, I turn and make my way back to the vacant Cullen house. I unlock the front door, and sigh sadly. The only piece of furniture in the front room is the grand piano. It's dusty and unused, but still grand. I decide to clean it off before I get what I came for. Even if they are no longer my family, I can't leave such a beautiful instrument in such sad condition. I flash to the kitchen and back, duster in hand, and slowly take care of the piano.
When I finish, I put the cleaning supplies away and head upstairs and pack what remains of my things into a large suitcase. I pull a family picture off the bedside table, and place that in the top pocket, and then I leave, hopefully forever. When I finish packing, I lock up again, and run back up the long drive and down the road, further into the forest. I don't look back.
The next morning I stand in front of Bella's door, wondering if I should knock, or not. Wondering if she's busy today. Wondering if 10 in the morning is too early. Wondering if she even wants to see me. Wondering about yesterday, if she was thinking of him when she tried to kiss me. But most of all, wondering why she makes me so nervous.
I knock three times, hoping it wasn't too loud, or too quiet. Soon I hear footsteps on the other side of the door, and Bella speaking to someone. Immediately I regret coming. I'm obviously interrupting something.
"No, Mike, I didn't leave them with Jake... No, none of his friend stole them... Why do you always assume they're to blame for my issues? They're not even here anymore, how could they possibly-" She stops mid-sentence when she opens the door and sees me standing on her front porch.
"Bella? Bella are you still there?" Mike Newton's voice says from the other end of the phone.
"What? Yeah, I'm here. Look, Just put your mom on the phone." She waves me inside, shooting me an apologetic glance. I step inside, and follow her to the living room, where she collapses cross-legged onto the couch. I sit beside her, prepared to wait politely for her phone call to be over. "Mrs. Newton? Yes, it's Bella... Yes, that's right, I lost my truck keys. Well, all my keys really, but those are the most important... Yes, I suppose he could come pick me up, but I would really rather not deal with him right now... Yeah, he's being pretty obnoxious today."
"Bella," I whisper. She looks up at me and mouths "What?" I pull her keys out of my pocket and hold them up between us. "I found your keys yesterday after you left the clearing."
"Oh, thanks! Never mind, Mrs. Newton, turns out I can make it after all... No, a friend of them found them, and he's just came by to return them." My heart soars at the word friend. Is that what we are? Friends? I hope so. "Yes, thank you very much for your time. I'll see you in an hour... No, I'll handle Mike when I get down there. But thank you, again... Yep, see you later."
She hangs up the phone, throws it onto the couch beside her, and then launches herself into my arms. I freeze, completely unprepared for this. She's hugging me. Yesterday, I understood why. She was sad, she needed comfort. But today... she's just hugging me.
"Jasper?" she nudges me with her shoulder. I feel her amusement, and wonder why it's there.
"Hmm?" I keep my breathing to a minimum, trying to avoid another near-death incident.
"Normal people would hug back now."
I chuckle. "Of course." I wrap my arms around her waist.
When we let go, she's smiling in the most beautiful way, with just the corners of her mouth turned up, and her eyes shining like liquid chocolate. I can't help but smile back, and wonder how any man, no matter how strong his will is, could ever leave this amazing woman.
"So, I have to get to work. Thank you so much for bringing me my keys. Seriously, you're a life saver," she says. I can't help but laugh at that last sentence.
"Life saver? Bella, really?" I ask, shooting her a disproving look. She giggles, and gets up to gather her things.
"Sorry," she laughs over her shoulder. "You know what I meant, though. Thank you."
"You're welcome. So, I was wondering," I start as I move to the door.
"Hm?" She walks to the kitchen, and I hear the jingling of keys. "I'm listening."
"I was wondering if, maybe, you'd want to have coffee sometime?" I nervously run my fingers through my hair. She comes back around the corner, purse in one hand keys in the other, and that small, beautiful smile on her lips.
"Of course," she answers. I grin, and open the door for her. "Thank you. How about tomorrow? I work, but I get off at 3. We could turn it into lunch, if that's okay with you?"
"That will be perfect," I reply as she gets into her old, beat up truck. "I'll meet you here, around 4. Sound good?"
"Great. See you then," she sings, before pulling out of the driveway, and heading off to work.
I sigh. I have a date with Bella Swan, I think happily.
Soooo, yup. There it is :) Never really written from a male POV, so let me know how it turned out? Thanks! Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed my first chapter. You all gave me the confidence to try this 3 Sorry this chapter was on the shorter side. I tried for 8 pages (like the first chapter was) but it just couldn't make it. But that's ok, 5 ½ is close enough.
I would love you all even more is in your review, you could send me talking verbs (said, replied, and whispered just aren't doing it for me anymore :P) Thank you bunches, hope this was worth the wait, and please please please tell me what you thought. Lovelovelove 3 3
