Author's Note: For those of you who notice Pirate Penguin and Ninja Chicken weren't exactly in character in chapter one (at least, not in my opinion) I apologize for that. Keep in mind Calvin and Hobbes weren't exactly in character when I first wrote about them, and I'm not sure they are now either.
"Okay Ninja Chicken, I have all the ammunition I need in that water tower, while you have the two water bottles I bought at Steve's grocery store," said Pirate Penguin.
"Why do I only get two water bottles? And how long has that water tower been there?" asked Ninja Chicken.
"Because Steve charges more for one, and that water tower's been there for 2 minutes and 47 seconds," said Pirate Penguin. "Anyway, put this cowboy gear on. The way we're starting off is gonna look western style anyway, so I've decided it's awesome and we should embrace it."
"But I'm a Ninja and you're a Pirate, don't you find it a bit weird that we're both wearing cowboy costumes?" asked Ninja Chicken.
"Nope! Mostly because Astronaut Armadillo is watching us from space on a webcam manned by your old friend Ninja Squid, so I want it to look cool," said Pirate Penguin.
Then Ninja Squid came in holding a laptop with Astronaut Armadillo on it.
"Yeah! Ninja Squid is going to record while I'm watching so we could make an homage to cowboy movies," said Astronaut Armadillo on Ninja Squid's computer.
"I'm calling it 'A fistful of water balloons,'" said Ninja Squid.
"Okay then, Let's get round one started!" said Ninja Chicken.
"Right. The time is now 55:11-"
"11:55. You're reading my watch is upside down."
-The time is now 11:55. At noon, we draw. Since there's no huge clock tower to announce the time, you'll need to set an alarm for13 o' clock on your watch."
"Unless you go on 24-hour clock, there is no 13 o' clock. Noon is 12 o' clock."
"Whatever just set the alarm."
A few minutes later, Pirate Penguin and Ninja Chicken were at a nearby park across the street, each wearing cowboy hats and bandanas PP supplied to make them look cool. Everyone in the park except for Ninja Squid hid but peeked from their hiding spots watch the duel between the two.
Pirate Penguin and Ninja Chicken were taking small paces to each other as the clock ticked. The time was currently 11:59 with five seconds left.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"DRAW!" yelled Pirate Penguin.
Immediately, Pirate Penguin drew his Squirt Gun from his belt while Ninja Chicken drew his from his sash. They fired at each other.
Everyone watched in anticipation as the streaks of water flew through the air at a quick speed. The blasts passed through each other before reaching their target. As low as the chances are, both PP and NC were soaked at the same time.
"Draw is right," said Ninja Chicken as he looked at his soaked cowboy suit.
"Well that was pointless. Let's redo that, but I don't wanna do cowboys anymore. Okay, everyone can come out, cowboy homage is over. Now NC, let's get a brawlin'!" said Pirate Penguin as he replaced his cowboy hat with his pirate hat then tore off his cowboy clothes, revealing his Pirate belt was stashed with water balloons and five more squirt guns.
Then NC took of his cowboy suit, but not ripping it like PP he also revealed he was not as heavily armed as Pirate Penguin, with only the one squirt gun he dueled with and a single water balloon hidden under his sash.
"Ha! I have more weapons than you! I am guaranteeified to win now!" said PP.
Ninja Chicken ran towards Pirate Penguin with his water balloon in hand. Pirate Penguin took a water balloon, but didn't run very fast.
"Hah! All those weapons are weighing you down so you practically can't move! Either that or you're really just that fat" said ninja Chicken.
"You're going down whether I have to be a living turret or not!" said Pirate Penguin as he got a squirt gun out.
The two frenemies engaged in mortal combat.
Ninja Chicken took a daring move by hopping on top of Pirate Penguin then throwing a water balloon down at PP.
But it didn't work; Pirate Penguin's squirt gun was powerful enough to keep the water balloon in air.
Fortunately for NC, one of a ninja's secret powers is to balance on anything lass dense than him, namely a water balloon kept in midair by a squirt gun.
"No fair! You have ninja training!" said Pirate Penguin.
"Well, you have an arsenal of weapons used for this battle, and I'm not complaining, am I?" asked Ninja Chicken.
Pirate Penguin then grabbed a second and third squirt gun in his free hand and used it to propel the water balloon NC was balancing on even higher.
"This is your chance to surrender to the Epicly Awesome Pirate Penguin, NC. I suggest you take it or I will stop shooting, making your water balloon drop on the pavement along with you, which will most certainly soak you!" said Pirate Penguin.
"You think it will only soak me? Dude, I'm three stories high. If I fall from here, it could do a lot more than soak me!" said Ninja Chicken.
"It might give you a broken bone or something, I know. Now surrender or prepare to face your doom!" said Pirate Penguin as the water balloon sunk since stopped firing one squirt gun, with only two keeping NC's water balloon in air.
Ninja Chicken knew if he wanted to eat breakfast, he'd have to do something drastic. He noticed he was level with one of the trees.
After hopping onto the tree, Pirate Penguin's patience came to an end and he fired the water balloon toward the tree.
At the speed only a ninja could go, NC dodged the range of the water balloon's splash and hopped onto another tree and then another and another using his ninja training.
Pirate Penguin remembered how slow he was with all his weapons, so he hailed a taxi on the road alongside the park.
"Follow that- Steve the Owl? I thought you were a grocery guy? And weren't you a dry cleaner before that? You were also that smoothie guy, the pet store owner, the sword store owner-"
"I'll explain that later. Where do you want to go?" asked Steve.
"Oh yeah. Follow Ninja Chicken! He's jumping through trees. And could I get on the roof of the taxi? It's a better firing range up there," said Pirate Penguin.
As Ninja Chicken hopped from tree to tree, he noticed Pirate Penguin was on top of a taxi, firing nearly everything he had at Ninja Chicken.
But Ninja Chicken was too quick for all of PP's weapons.
Ninja Chicken fired at Pirate Penguin a little, but wanted to be conservative of his ammo, considering how little Pirate Penguin gave him.
"What is he running for? Besides the obvious, I mean," said Pirate Penguin.
But Ninja Chicken soon saw what he was looking for: a fire hydrant on the road. He took a shuriken from his sash and threw it at the fire hydrant.
As the water was let out, Steve's taxi was thrown to its side.
But Pirate Penguin wasn't. He bailed the taxi before it was tipped over and ran after him for the rest of the way, seeing there were no more trees for NC to hop on.
Ninja Chicken then slid down the roof of the house he was on and hopped down to the street.
"How come the fire hydrant didn't soak you?" asked Ninja Chicken.
"Awesomeness powers," said Pirate Penguin.
"That's your reason for everything," said Ninja Chicken. "Why, I bet it's going to be your reason for losing when I soak you and win round 1."
Ninja Chicken took out his squirt gun and tried to soak Pirate Penguin, but there was no more ammo in his squirt gun. He reached for one of the water bottles PP had given him for extra ammo, but they were gone.
"Looking for these?" asked Pirate Penguin as he held up two water bottles.
"You swine!" said Ninja Chicken.
"I'm getting bored of this," said Pirate Penguin. "I will now end this battle by soaking you into oblivion. Sayonara Chicken!"
Pirate Penguin literally threw all the water balloons he had and shot all his six squirt guns at full blast at the one spot that Ninja Chicken was standing.
Luckily, NC managed to duck first, barely dodging the water balloons or water being hit at him.
Everything Pirate Penguin fired at Ninja Chicken flew past him and flew through the cockpit of a crane at a nearby construction site.
One of the water balloons hit a lever in the cockpit that sent a girder on the crane going left, then it hit the water tower with all of PP's ammo, knocking it over.
As soon and the two frenemies saw this, Ninja Chicken reacted by grabbing Pirate Penguin and jumping down a nearby manhole.
"Hmmm, this is the best-smelling sewer I've ever hidden in," said Pirate Penguin.
Ninja Chicken gave Pirate Penguin an odd look.
But then they heard a loud splash from above.
The duo went up to find out what happened.
They saw everything in the neighborhood was drenched.
Some houses were flooded, there were random objects swept up on streets, cars were turned over, so it looked like your average flood aftermath.
"So anyway, why don't we end this now?" asked Pirate Penguin as he aimed one squirt gun at N's back when it was turned.
Ninja Chicken then kicked it away.
Pirate Penguin grabbed another from his belt.
"Okay Pirate Penguin, I surrender," said Ninja Chicken as he held his hands behind his back.
"Ha HA! Finally! I win round 1!" said Pirate Penguin.
Then Ninja Chicken grabbed a stolen squirt gun from behind his back.
"Think again, chubby!" said Ninja Chicken.
KA-SPLISH! KA-SPLASH!
Pirate Penguin was sent on his back, sliding on the watery road.
"How did you get a squirt gun? How did you hide it?" asked Pirate Penguin.
"I used my stealthy sneakiness powers to steal it from you in the sewer, and I glooed it to my back," said Ninja Chicken as he showed part of his ninja costume was stuck to the squirt gun from pulling it off and that he a bottle of Gloo brand Glue.
"Fine, I guess you win fair and cubed," said Pirate Penguin.
"Well anyway, we should probably get out of here, the cops are gonna have questions for us," said Ninja Chicken.
"Why?"
"We let loose a fire hydrant and knocked over a water tower, what do you think?"
Double Take!
"Aw #$%, yeah, let's go," said Pirate Penguin.
So Pirate Penguin and Ninja Chicken ran away from the scene until the cops got lazy from looking for them and let it go.
Author's Note: 20 BONUS NINJA POINTS TO ANYONE WHO CAN GUESS WHAT MOVIE NINJA CHICKEN'S VICTORY STRATEGY WAS BASED OFF OF!
