Two reviews, I'm touched guys!

Longer chapter, obviously, as it is the first official chapter tacked onto the prologue. Awesome.

Playlist -

One Way or Another by Blondie


Chapter One - Bats Mats Rats

Many people may know this fact, or they may not, but cats hate water.

Whether it be a bath or rain…we hate it.

And why, oh why, did I have to choose the "rainiest place in the continental US" to visit?

Three boat trips, two train journeys, an air flight and now a taxi ride to come to this! Was I mad or under the influence of alcohol when I said, "Why not?" to visiting Forks?

Or maybe this is a dream?

"Oh look at all the trees here Marge!" a woman's voice sounded from inside the taxi.

You see, taxis don't exactly stop for cats when you try to flag one down. Either they choose to ignore us or they just don't have the capacity in their brains to see that we are waving our paws madly at them…but they never seem to slow down.

So here I was, a stowaway in the boot of a taxi, being thrown from side to side with each sharp turn the vehicle took – heading to Forks.

And I came here willingly why?

I can't even recall the reason anymore. Sad.

"Trees?" I grumbled to myself while digging my claws into the nearest travel bag. "These humans are amazed by trees?"

"Gretel, look at that dog! Isn't it huge!" another voice answered her.

Marge and Gretel, you must be the oldest ladies I have ever met to be amazed by trees and dogs.

"Are we there yet?" I called out, raising my voice above the taxis engine.

"Did you hear something back there Marge?"

"I don't know – some kind of screeching?"

"Strange."

"Yeah."

"Idiots."

"There it was again Gretel!"

"I know Marge!"

"Shut up you over sized rats!" I shouted.

"Something about bats?"

"No Marge, it said mats!"

I covered my ears with my paws, trying to block out the sounds of these humans jibber jabber.

I swear – if and when cats rule the day, those two will be the first to be exterminated before you can even say fish pie.

"And this is your stop ladies – Forks, Washington," the taxi driver told them in what I probably imagined to be a relieved tone.

I know that I was relieved.

And I wasn't the one sitting in front of them.

"Thank you so much," they both chorused as I heard them shuffling out of the car doors.

Their footsteps pattered round to the back of the vehicle – in which I was situated.

The boot creaked open and light spilled onto my face, with a hand soon following the light in reach for one of the travel bags.

Oh. I didn't think of this part.

"Deep breaths Luc," I muttered while arching my back.

I let out a high pitched shriek, making Marge…or Gretel…jump backwards from the noise.

My opportunity had arrived.

Kicking with my hind legs, I sailed out of the small gap and out of the boot, landing on the floor outside with an audible thud.

"AH! A BAT!" one of the wrinkly old ladies screeched while clutching at her heart.

My foot paused in mid air as I swivelled round to face this woman.

"A bat? Do I look like a bat to you? No? Oh, that may be because I'm a CAT!" I sniffed indignantly, my tail flicking. "The cheek these days…well, catch you later Raisins!"

I threw my body weight forward and dashed into a bush by the nearby pavement.

A bat? I'm insulted.

Ergh, anyway – back to the matter at hand.

Vampires.

Where would I be if I was a vampire?

I looked around in the bush, which mainly blocked my view of the road. Clever Luc, hide in a place where you can see nothing.

Maybe you should ask for directions, a small voice in my head echoed.

"Directions? I don't need directions!"

Suit yourself.

Whining pitifully, I licked my paw. They already hurt from all the travelling and now I have to travel around Utensil town to find some mythical creatures that belong in movies and books – not in teenage girl's imaginations!

This single book had ruined every chance any teenage boy had of asking out their dream girl now. I imagine the conversation would have started with the boy asking the girl out, but you know what? The girl would have probably turned him down because

A) His name wasn't Edward

And

B) He didn't sparkle in the sun.

You see?! You see how this will affect the Earths population in future generations to come?!?

Well, maybe you think I'm ranting. But dear public, it is already happening!

Girls have already started having "all girls' sleepovers" just so that they can discuss this Cullen character!

Disgraceful.

Getting back on track, plans – I need to make some plans. But not just any plans…good plans.

I rolled out of the bush, grumbling to myself as I felt an amount of debris come along for the ride.

That was going to take ages to get out! Argh.

I surveyed my surroundings; plain buildings aligned each side of the street. Each of them was the exact same size, same colour.

It was kind of creepy.

My ears pricked as I heard footsteps heading in my direction.

Craning my head to the side, I could see a pair of –shudder- teenage girls coming my way.

One had obnoxiously curly hair, obviously hair spray had been used to keep it that large. Did she not know how much space she would take up in an elevator alone? And all those hair spray chemicals polluting the Earth, tsk tsk tsk.

Don't even get me started on her friend. She looks like a pig.

And they didn't even notice they were heading towards a cat…if they weren't careful they would trip over m-

"Ouch! Watch it you moron!" I cried out as the pig girl tripped over me, kicking me in the side as she fell.

The girl who fell over just looked at me, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I sneered sarcastically.

Before I knew it the two girls were running down the street. Screaming might I add.

I snorted in disgust before turning on my tail.

As I walked down the spookily similar shops, my stomach started rumbling.

A small problem I hadn't considered – food…

I wasn't really a hunter, so mice were out of the question. Disgusting little things they were, all small and slimy…err…

Oh, what a rumbly tumbly.

I walked down the high street, which led to a main road, which was aligned with…the exact same houses…on each side…

They where everywhere.

Who designed this town? Seriously?

A main road? How much more basic could they get?

Sighing to myself, I started trailing past house after house, looking through windows to see families gathering around their own dinners.

There was chicken dishes, turkey dishes, ham dishes, lamb dishes…

Hunger pains started to gnaw at my stomach as I started salivating.

Jumping down from the latest window ledge I had taken vacancy of, I wandered round to the side of the house, looking for any small means of entrance.

Apparently this town didn't want to invest in any cat flaps – so there were no chances to sneak in and grab something from the poor unsuspecting humans.

Scents of food drifted in from all directions to the town, taunting and teasing me.

But as the wind shifted I noticed no scents drifted from the North – up a very big hill.

Curious as to why this direction was the anomaly, I followed the road up to the hill.

Thankful to get away from the other scents, I sauntered upwards, weaving through trees when the road disappeared into an off road dirt track.

As I was forced to step onto the road from the shrubbery, I heard the distant rumbling of a vehicle approaching. Thinking I had enough time to skip out of the way, I was in no hurry to move over.

Only when I heard the squealing of tyres did I realise it was coming right up behind me.

Who the hell drives that fast off road?

The vehicle flew past, the tyres only skimming my tail as I hurled myself away from the danger.

"Watch where you're heading, you twat!" I screeched in fury – left flustered in the dust which had been kicked up as the driver took a sharp bend. "People these days!"

Dusting myself off, I headed up – following the path the car had taken.

When I found him, boy would I give him a piece of my mind. What conceited prats did they allow to drive these days?

My breaths became shorter and shallower as I climbed steeper uphill. Who would build a house this far away from town? Where they mad?

Justas I was preparing to collapse, the corner of a house loomed into view, half hidden by the trees surrounding it. Pushing myself through the last remaining pieces of forestry, I felt like singing hallelujah as I looked at the rather large house. Noticing with appreciating it had a rather large garage…oh what I would give to claw at a leather seat at this moment in time!

But something in my gut pulled me up short. Expensive mansion…massive garage…middle of forest…

I groaned.

How had I ended up at the friggen Cullen house?

That's the only reason why there was no food scents.

They sucked bloody deer.

Typical.

I looked back down the trail, it was too far to travel back down now – too dark. Looking back at the house, I noticed no entrances apart from the door.

Great. And now it looks as though it was about to rain.

And I can never, I repeat – never, sleep in the rain.

Huffing, I sat and surveyed the house some more. Do they have a chimney?...Doesn't look as though they have a cat flap either…maybe I should try the back door?

I forced myself to my feet and crawled along the side of the house.

I've never felt more army commando like in my life.

Maybe if I climbed up a tree it would be easier to look into the house, see if anybody left any doors open and such.

Turning to the nearest tree on my right, I dug my claws into the bark, hoisting myself up.

Gradually ascending, I clung to the nearest branch and started jumping towards the higher ones.

Sniffing unconsciously, I stopped short. What was that?

My head snapped round to the closest window, and joy of joys there sat a turkey sandwich on a plate which was placed on a desk.

Just below the window!

Without thinking twice I threw myself off the tree towards it, letting my tongue flap in the wind as I sailed towards my meal.

Just a bit closer…just a bit – WHAM!

Glass connected with my face. I slid down slowly causing a sharp squeaking sound to ring out through the air.

How had I not noticed the window was closed?

"What the hell was that?" a male voice shouted.

I looked up, from lying on my back on the ground – where I had ended up – seeing a lot of stars.

They looked so pretty tonight…ooh! Look! There's a space ship!

"Is that…is that a cat?"


Seeing as not many people have looked at this story - who knows if its going to take off?

Putting the rating up anyway, for language abuse I suppose.

AH frick it, this still will carry on even if no one reads it!