sdkjfh ok I'm gonna level with you guys, work was absolutely miserable and I'm half asleep rn, so I have basically no idea what I've just written, buuuut eff it I'll post this now anyways, with one minute to spare!

Hope you enjoy (despite my usual lack of thought)!


Day 2 - Only for myself


Gaara – more than anything else – was a selfish creature.

He always had been, ever since his father sat him down and told him that whatever he wanted he could have, any toy, any book, any meal; that the world was his, if he chose to take it.

It was a lie of course, the man had never truly given him anything, at least, nothing that hadn't come with the promise that it would be taken back at the first sign of rebellion, but the seed had been planted and the years of his childhood had seen it watered generously.

(What he'd wanted most was to be held, to be told he was good, that he was loved, but those were not real, not tangible objects he could hold and hoard and cherish, so he'd never thought to ask).

Some might try to claim otherwise, point to his blithe disregard for his family's wealth – much of it was donated, only ever keeping enough savings to purchase daily essentials and keep his household happy and healthy – all that he had given for his people – his time, his power, his life – and his tireless efforts to bring the world to true peace – regardless of how easy it would be to pull his village further into isolation, forsake the wellbeing of future generations to secure his own.

But none of that had been out of true selflessness, it had been because he was greedy and possessive; he wanted so much, even if he didn't feel he deserved much of it, to be needed, loved, respected, cared for and, most of all, valued, for his life to have had some greater meaning than just survival.

(Once that had been enough, back when he'd honestly believed that living for anyone but yourself was a weakness of the soul, something feeble people used to justify their reliance on others to have any sense of self-worth).

He'd gone to great efforts to slowly discover those other meanings and had spent years studying the paths that led to them, always falling back on his selfish nature to push him to follow them.

Temari and Kankuro were his, his to protect, care for and learn from.

Naruto was his, his guide and ideal, the one he'd modelled his second life on, his very first friend.

The role of Kazekage was his, his goal and path to redemption.

Suna was his, his home and refuge, to defend and grow and change for the better.

Everything he'd done for them, he'd also done for himself, because their wellbeing directly tied into his worth as a human being. It was all for his own benefit, hoarding reasons to exist like his brother did old screws and mechanical parts.

Gaara still lived for himself, as he always had, but only now did he realise that the 'self' was never simply a person's mind, body and soul. It was the family that raised you, the friends who shaped your beliefs, the people who are so integral to your being that no sacrifice would ever be too much to give to protect them.

He was Sabaku no Gaara, Gaara of the desert; and he lived for every part of himself, from the devoted protector, to the powerful politician, to the cherished friend, to the beloved little brother and to the boy who'd only ever wanted love and who still cried at how freely it was now given.