A/N: So, eagerly anticipating the next LiH update which gave me the gusto to finish this chapter. :)
The Shadow of Stars
Chapter 1: Chasing the Fox
It hurt me to see her sitting next to me. She was tall and lovely by anyone's standards and had a smile so charming it made boys my age reciprocate. With hair the color of summer and the burgeoning figure of a young woman, she was exotic, but nothing I wanted. Furthermore, I hated that she occupied a seat I would forever consider taken.
Even now I can see Aya's frail body in that hard plastic chair. She used to sit straight as an arrow, but as the months passed she began hunching over on the desk, bowed by the weight of her sickened blood and bones. Most days she managed to look normal enough, but there were those when she her lower lip was pinched between her teeth as she reminded us all how terrible she was at lying.
I glance at the board, an equation I don't care to solve scrawled across the top. Our teacher is describing methods to solve for the variable and I still don't care. I close my eyes, running with the first memory that comes.
It was one of the days when she was chewing her lip. Her hair was barely brushed and her complexion sallow and pale. I'd spent all of first and second period watching her, waiting for the moment her final bough of strength would break and she would crash to the floor.
But she didn't. With a furrowed brow, she focused on the board and wrote her notes in hard lines. Glancing at the teacher, then back to Aya, I quickly wrote a note on the corner of my paper.
You okay?
I waited until the teacher's back was turned before tossing it to Aya. She flashed me a sly, albeit weak, smile before opening the note. Quietly, Aya wrote something on the corner of her own paper, tore it off, then passed it to me. Opening it, I saw her clean handwriting.
Just a bad day. I'm okay.
She had gone back to actually paying attention, so I quietly wrote a response. I was about to pass it to her when I heard my name.
"Kaito," it was our teacher. "I know you're not about to pass a note, right?"
I swallowed. "No," I said. "Not at all." Using my feet to pull my backpack to me, I stuffed the note into a pocket and pulled out a Sharpie I didn't need and placed it on my desk. Our teacher was back on the equations. I looked back at Aya who was not only sitting a little straighter but now holding up her notebook, a single word scrawled across the entire page.
Oppression
"Aya," Our teacher's voice was little unkind this time, truly defining what Aya had written. Slowly, Aya lowered her notebook and her eyes.
But I wasn't ready to be done. Aya had smiled; she had sat up. These were the things that mattered.
Quietly, I set my pencil down and picked up the Sharpie. Sliding the sleeve of my sweater back, I began writing vertically down my right arm. It didn't take long for Aya to catch me out of the corner of her eye. Satisfied, I propped my hand up on my chin so the words No bad days were visible to her and it looked as though I was actually attentive. After I knew she had read it, I glanced at her, just because I was selfish and wanted to see her reaction.
Her eyes were big and happy, she was smiling so big it hurt me.
Quickly, I added, Not on my watch.
Grinning, she pulled her own Sharpie out and rolled up her sleeve and began to write. She took a cursory glance at the teacher to make sure we were still under wraps before propping her arm up too. It read, Are you going to chase them away?
Nah, I wrote on the back of my hand. Then I turned my arm over and began writing on the inside. More like outrun them.
Oh, she wrote back, You think you're that fast?
Yeah, I was running out of arm space. We'll do it on my skateboard
Together?
I was in the middle of writing out, I'll carry you when a manicured hand grabbed my right wrist and yanked hard enough to make it pop. I didn't have to look past the buttoned cuffs to know it was our teacher. Suddenly I felt very warm behind my ears. She looked at Aya, who was staring at her paper with pink cheeks.
Not that I've had many, but I still think that was the most worthy detention I've ever had.
I looked at the board again. Same teacher, same subject, same classroom. I didn't recall anything from this period not because I'd been writing notes on my arm but because I'd been remembering when Aya sat next to me and secretly hating the girl who now occupied her seat.
Aya...
Like an assault, I could suddenly see her the pictures layed out on the duvet. The adventures we had where cancer wasn't even a dim concern and her arms were the halo around my neck. It was becoming so visceral I could feel her hot breath on my cheek and suddenly there was so much pressure in my chest it burned. Biting my lip, my sleeve came up and I pressed the tip of the Sharpie into my skin.
Look at the stars, 10/10, camping. Any word or phrase I could ever remember her saying made it on my arm, even a doodle of a bear. Notification overload, pain, lost in... I looked at the wet ink as I chewed the cap of the pen, feeling the pressure on my chest lifting. What was that word she had written on her own arm that day?
On my wrist I penned, oppressionas neatly as I could.
"Again?" I felt cold. Looking up, my teacher was standing with her hip out to the left, glaring at me from behind thick horn-rimmed glasses. Detention wasn't as fun without Aya.
"I don't understand." I sat on the floor of my room, Mom's words were still fresh on my mind. "I know you miss Aya, but why are you acting out?"
"I'm not acting out." I had protested. "It just kind of happened." Downstairs I could hear her clearing away the dinner that had been forgotten in our argument.
"Drawing on yourself in class just kind of happened? This is your second detention this year, Kaito." I didn't speak because she had plenty to say. I don't remember what it actually was because I just didn't care and I hate to say that, but she simply wasn't the girl I was thinking about. With guilt I predicted would compound, I slid my headphones on my ears and slipped the flash drive I had received from Miyoko into the USB port on my laptop.
I wasn't exactly sure what I expected to find, but I did hope it would be some kind of solace from that day. At worst, it would be something stupid I could reminisce about like photos or our class project from last year. At best, maybe, just maybe she would have left me something meaningful, like a good bye.
But instead what popped up was a master folder labeled, "Our Adventure."
Squinting at the screen, I tried to remember if we had ever done anything that might hint to what this file was. We did lots of things that could be considered adventures.
I double clicked it and inside where thirteen sub-folders labeled accordingly. I went to the first and double clicked. Immediately I was prompted for a password.
I sighed, slouching a little. "Why, Aya."
Common variations were my first guesses. Her birthday, her dog's name, and anything else I could think of, but every time I was refused. With each attempt I felt the wick of anger my mother had lit growing hotter and hotter. Worse, I felt that burning anger towards Aya, as though she had designed this little exercise just to infuriate me after a humiliating day at school. It wasn't her fault, but right now she was an easy target.
Grabbing the lip of my laptop's screen, I shut it forcefully and left it on the floor. I crawled onto the bed with my day clothes still on and buried my face in the pillow. From my headphones, a remix of New World Symphony pounded like a bitter heartbeat.
"Don't let the fox whisper."
The voice was as dark as the night around me. I couldn't see who was speaking but something told me to be afraid. Extending my hands, I brushed the strands of tall grass aside. Yellow-bottomed fireflies scattered like wishes into the forest canopy above. Something rustled to my left and I spun around, a cold sweat on the back of my neck.
"Don't let her speak." The voice came from behind me this time. I turned again only to see I was still alone. Now my heart was like a rabbit. A low rumble came from the grass. Appearing between the blades I could two eyes as golden as greed staring at me like a prize.
"Don't let—"
I didn't wait for whatever it was to finish. Turning on my heels, I ran, crashing through the grass and into the woods. Brambles and branches grabbed at me like sharp fingers, poking through my clothes and tearing my skin. Ripping them away with stinging tears in my eyes, I tried to keep my pace but the woods were growing thicker and thicker.
"H-Help—" The words were spoken between rasping breaths, but the forest seemed to listen, because suddenly the branches thinned. Still running, my foot in an uncovered root. With a yelp, I fell, landing on my hands and knees in shallow water.
Trembling, I stood. I had fallen in a perfectly round pond whose water was as clear as glass. The stones at the bottom glowed softly, emanating enough light to illuminate the water and cast shadows. Decorating the shore were bushes with bright white flowers in full bloom. Drinking from the edge of the pool was a petite fox, her fur a familiar and passionate red. Everything smelled of jasmine.
"Kaito," Light penetrated everything. I sat up, rubbing my eyes. When I opened them, my mother was standing by the window, very careful not to look at me as she spoke. "You're already late. Thank goodness you're dressed."
A little dazed from the dream, I looked down at my body, realizing I was still wearing yesterday's clothes. I realized should probably change and try to function. Instead, I slouched back into a ball on the bed.
"Out of bed," She said right before she grabbed my headphones from around my neck.
"Mom!" I reached for them but she was too quick. "Be careful with those!"
"You're telling me to be careful but you fall asleep wearing them? What's to stop you from rolling over in your sleep and breaking them?"
"You're missing the point, I—"
"And you're going to miss the bus." She snapped her fingers. "Go, they will be waiting for you on the table when you're ready."
I opened my mouth to say something but she raised one eyebrow and I knew better. With a sigh loud enough for her to hear, I rolled out of bed to get ready and she left. Still a little perturbed, I let myself remember the strange dream last night as I changed my shirt.
Violent forests, beautiful foxes, and dangerous shadow creatures. It sounded like something out of a manga. When I listened to music my dreams were anything but normal, the ones I had had of Aya were proof of that. And then I remembered her illustrations of our adventures. Our adventures.
I dropped the backpack I had been filling and grabbed the notebook Miyoko had given me. Opening it up, I began rifling through the pictures.
"Kaito?"
I bit my lip. "Yeah, Mom?" Not yet, please.
"You ready?"
"Almost!" A bear, a city scape, another bear... Wasn't there anything here with foxes?
I could hear her footsteps coming up the stairs. "Well, hurry you're going to make me late too."
A sunset, flocks of birds, a console box, "O-Okay, I—" Finally, a fox and a clear blue lake. I snatched it and stuffed it into my backpack before running to leave.
A/N: Lots of new ideas introduced in this chapter, I know. Bear (wow I'm hilarious) with me, neh?
