John's legs felt lighter with each step he took. He made his way through a large grassy meadow into the woods. It was there his chest began to constrict as recognition dawned upon him.
"Obereth!" He bellowed. "Feel free to stop this bullshit whenever you like, I know you are pulling this from my memories. You just going to ignore me? Well this is one trip down memory lane that I'm not particularly fond of, you can't keep me quiet here!"
The abandoned village of the cloister stretched before him. It seemed a lifetime ago he had been stuck here for so many months. A lifetime ago when he had watched Teer and the villagers ascend before his eyes. He felt the rumble of hunger hit his stomach. Well, if he were to be stuck in some Asuran false reality, at least he knew how to survive in this one. The orchard was near and he would bet it was still ample with its offerings for the people, even in a false reality.
He spent three days in the village without contact by an Asurans. He hadn't thought anything could get much creepier than the constant meditating by the Cloister's former inhabitants. He was wrong. It was driving him crazy wondering what they could be doing to Elizabeth why they kept him trapped in this reality. He finally decided to go back to the jumper to see if he could do anything to get it back online or to see if he could find any other flaws confirming this was a false reality. He was beginning to see he would have to play by their rules if he wanted a chance to fight his way out.
He walked cautiously through the back of the jumper, not surprised to find Elizabeth or to feel the wave of emotions washing over him. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. She had her back toward him, engrossed in the inspection of crystals behind a panel she had pulled away. Blood had stained through the bandage she had carefully wrapped around the gunshot wound. Anger rose like acid inside his throat. He strode up to her.
"Enough of the act, don't you think?"
John ripped away her bandages. His eyes stretched as the wound was revealed. It was just a scrape, he'd just nicked her, but it was far from healed.
Elizabeth responded somewhat numbly. "I'm surprised myself. I had hoped to enjoy the only possible good from being infected with the nanites."
John started to speak, but his words caught in his throat as he watched the tear escape the corner of her eye. He sighed feeling anger fall away, sliding a hand through his already crumpled hair. Fantasy or reality, it was Elizabeth. He'd little hope of pretending he didn't care. He started to speak again, but her eyes angrily rose to meet his.
"Don't do it, John, don't you dare drop your guard. If you think this is a mind game, that this isn't real, you have to be strong. You can hate me, I'm sure it would be easy. Even if I didn't somehow infect you when you'd been shot, you could have already been infected the night we…"
John felt heat flash across his face as she struggled to form her words.
"Before Keller forced Rodney to reveal the truth about the experimental treatment. The nanites could have been just getting started on repairs when I pulled you away to the jumper. You have plenty of reasons to hate me. Use it." Her green eyes now flared as she spoke.
John's head started to hurt. He needed to know the truth. "How did you get me to the jumper?"
"It wasn't exactly graceful. Nanites or not, it was half dragging, half carrying. Not pretty."
"Then show me."
"I can't. I'm not exactly feeling myself. John, are we in the Cloister?" She paused and John simply nodded in confirmation. "I didn't spend enough time here, couldn't be certain. Maybe it really is the Cloister and the nanites are neutralized here. Or maybe the Asurans shut parts down to make us more manageable. I'm not healing, I've thrown up everything I've had to drink and it took me almost an hour to pry this panel from the wall."
"You know if this really is the Cloister?" John said as he sank down against the wall.
"We'll be years older by the time we figure our way out of this." Elizabeth said as she chucked a burnt out crystal down the hallway in frustration.
"Now I know this isn't real, I've never seen Elizabeth Weir lose her composure." John said.
"Never?" Elizabeth's brow raised mischievously.
John felt a warm rush creep back into his checks. "So what do we do?"
"You're up. You've spent enough time with McKay, maybe some of his constant babbling soaked through that messy head of yours."
"I happen to have better things to do with my time than stand in front of a mirror trying to make the impossible happen." Get a grip Sheppard, you are on the verge of flirting with a possibly imagined replicator. Of course, you are possibly a replicator yourself now.
"I never said I didn't like it. I kind of like how it always looks like you just got out of my bed." Elizabeth's voice had grown huskier and somehow she had maneuvered directly in front of him her hand coming up towards his hair.
Instinctively, his hand closed around her small wrist, wrenching her hand away. "Elizabeth didn't act like you."
"Use your anger John. I'm using my own. Do you know how angry I am over the time we wasted? I wasted? Time I felt the need to act a certain way even when the end of the world was nowhere in sight? I never let myself have fun, play. I know I can never be the leader of Atlantis again. If this isn't real, why shouldn't I get to act however I want? If that makes you angry, good. Use it."
He realized he had never let go of her arm and his senses were overloading from her smell drifting across his face. How could replicators even understand smell to reproduce that? She turned away, her growing tendrils of hairs blowing back to tickle his face. His heart pounded erratically and he desperately wanted to believe this was real, that he had her back. It couldn't be this easy. He couldn't do this.
"Look at the panel, John. I'm going to get some water." Elizabeth pulled away,looking almost green and uncomfortable.
Some things never change he thought as his feet instinctively responded to her command. An hour later he hadn't gotten so much as a spark from the panel and Elizabeth still hadn't returned. He wandered out the back of the jumper to be greeted by the softly falling sunset. He caught movement from behind some nearby trees. He pulled his gun and angled up to get a better view. Elizabeth was doubled over, apparently heaving the contents of her stomach. He caught of glimpse of her tear stained face and her arm, adorned with a fresh bandage.
Damn it! He thought, realizing his feet were already heading in her direction. Elizabeth spotted him and leaned back against a tree. She averted her head as she tried to wipe away the tears and clean her face as best as she could. He stopped before her and simply waited, unwilling to trust his voice.
"You were right, John, this isn't real. This can't be real. I think we may be sharing a false reality, it was probably the easiest way to deal with us while they adjusted to Obereth's death." She pushed away from the tree with her heel and turned to place her back before him.
"They are so cruel." He barely heard her words, he wasn't sure they were even meant for his ears. "I'm pregnant, John. They've supplied me with all the symptoms, notably fatigue and nausea. Since we've arrived, I've barely been able to keep down even water."
"But you said..." He felt like someone just sucker punched him and frantically tried to recall the ten second contraception conversation they'd had. That night seemed another lifetime ago. His mind was fuzzy from the stress of trying to figure out what was real what wasn't. It was too much and his head was beginning to throb.
"I'm not supposed to be able to have children. I had ovarian cancer, they had to be removed. God, my hair was finally starting to get back to a decent length since the chemo, not that it really matters. The Asurans either missed that and screwed up or are more cruel than I realized. "
"Maybe they just want you to have the flu?" John offered, embarrassed by his relief. Embarrassed at the continued avoidance of the conversation they never had the chance to have about the night they shared.
"It's not the flu. I'm throwing up, my bra hates me, and emotionally I'm all over the board. I know what they've done. They try to keep you happy, passive here right? This is the one thing I always wanted and could never have. John this can't go on, I can't let make me experience this and let them tear me away from it on their whim. We have to get out. What if they keep us in here until I have a child? Longer?" She couldn't stop the tears from slipping from her eyes again. He could see her shoulders trembling as she turned away to hide her tears.
His heart twisted with the agony she was enduring. He couldn't hold on to anger around her, couldn't trust himself with her. His stomach churned and he wondered if Elizabeth really did just have the flu. He could have picked up a bug from her. He groaned as the irony hit him. Seeing her was more than he could handle now. I can't do this, he repeated to himself before quietly slipping away.
