Spock continued down the hallway to a science laboratory, but found that his mind was too distracted for work. He decided that a discussion with his current girlfriend would be most logical and rose gracefully from his chair as always to make his way to her quarters.
"Spock," Uhura greeted as she opened the door to answer the buzz, "Come in."
"You're feeling thoughtful," she observed.
"I am," Spock agreed, inclining his head slightly, "An occurrence of interest took place moments ago with the captain in the turbolift from the bridge."
"Oh?"
"Do you remember our conversation about Vulcan marriage?"
"I do."
"And you know that T'Pring, my former betrothed, was destroyed with Vulcan."
"Yes."
"Her death severed the connection, weak as it already was, between us. I had no other inclination of a person more suitable to forage a bond with than you. However, when both the captain and I reached to select a deck, our fingers touched. The physical response between us was quite strong. Stronger than that between myself and my former bondmate. It is perhaps strong enough to indicate something rather rare, in fact."
"You think the captain is meant to be your bondmate?"
"So it would seem. I do not know if he would be interested in pursuing that kind of relationship at all, let alone with me."
"Kirk has been full of surprises so far. It might be possible," Uhura encouraged.
"I do not wish to upset you with my decision," Spock said, "You have often been the only person in Starfleet that has willingly interacted with me in a friendly manner."
"I like you, Spock," Uhura answered, smiling, "You told me when we agreed to try having a relationship that it might not work out between us. I understand that. I want you to do what will best complete you."
"Thank you, Nyota," Spock answered quietly, "I trust that we can still be friends."
"Of course. May I ask what he did when you touched?" Nyota was far more hurt than she would let Spock see. She had really loved him, but she knew that it had been unlikely that the relationship between them was the one that would satisfy his Vulcan nature. The telepathic response they shared was almost nonexistent, though Spock had speculated that might be because of his mixed blood. She was curious if he had at last found what his soul needed. If it were so it would be easier to let him go.
Spock described Kirk's reactions to her, and she could not deny that it was obvious that his response had been positive.
"I do not understand why he moved away from me if he found the experience pleasant," Spock mused. He still had problems grasping human behaviors, especially those surrounding sexuality.
"Kirk isn't a total idiot," Uhura conceded, "He knows that Vulcans do not like to be touched casually. From what you said he did, it sounds to me like he was very aroused by your touch and moving away was his way of protecting you from his lust."
"Why would the captain go out of his way to accommodate me? Based on his interactions with others, it is most illogical."
"The captain is not always logical. He doesn't hate you, Spock. Have you never noticed how much he tries to impress you? He always asks for your opinion. He always jumps in when a crewmen makes a stab at your heritage."
"Perhaps the captain simply wants my approval as I have been well respected in Starfleet for a longer time than himself and recognizes that I can be of help. It is logical that the captain would not promote xenophobia as he is the leader of a starship intended for galactic exploration."
"This is James Kirk we're talking about. The brash, young captain who throws caution to the wind in order to pursue what he thinks is right with no consideration for the rules. He doesn't remotely ponder regulation when Bones or Scotty mentions something. He does when you do. He is well aware of the things that McCoy called you before he gained command, and yet he now asks his best friend to refrain from insulting you. I don't think you can call this coincidence, Spock." Her argument was strong though she had been formulating it as she spoke. Every word was true, however, and she realized that perhaps Kirk did have real feelings for Spock.
"It is a wonder that I have missed all of this, Nyota," Spock commented.
"He tries to make it look like he's only shaping up to keep his captaincy, and it's believable. It only began to click for me now. I've known Kirk since we started Academy, and this is different. I think he is afraid of what he feels for you."
"You are usually right, Nyota. I do not know what to do. I find it remarkably regrettable to cause you pain, and I am having difficulty controlling my emotions."
"Spock, it's okay not to be perfect," She said, taking a breath to prepare herself to be honest. "It will hurt me not to be with you, but it would hurt me more to stay with you knowing that I am keeping you from what will make to happy."
Spock could see the pain in Nyota's eyes but knew that she would not lie. It hurt him. He desperately needed to meditate. "Nyota, are you certain?" She nodded, restraining tears.
"Talk to him."
"I have been and always shall be your friend. Thank you, Nyota. I know that I can not understand how difficult this is for you, but know that I am grateful."
"I'll be okay," she added as she began to usher Spock out, "I'll see you in the morning, okay? Go ahead."
Spock left as requested but still felt uncertain. He would not talk to the captain without first meditating, and that would prove a difficult pursuit as his thoughts were lost in the memory of James Kirk's bare skin.
