Chapter 2: Breakdown

She collapsed on her bed about an hour later, she still couldn't put her mind around what had happened. Why had he let her go, it made no sense to her. Maybe she should open the envelope, ah well, it could wait. He would kill her anyway, why do what he asked first if there was nothing in it for her. She had been wishing she was dead for so long, but she just couldn't do it herself, they had saved her, and only her, so she could live a normal life, so she could make something of herself. True, she hadn't made anything of herself, had no joy in living, but she could never kill herself, not while they had died for her. Besides, getting killed by a madman sounded a lot more exciting than taking too much pills. She did wonder, what would he want her to do? Why would he want her to do it?

Still, she decided to get some sleep first.

But she couldn't sleep. She looked at her alarm clock, 5.30 am. She had been coming in about 4, how time flies when you're thinking about your own death.

Outside, she heard a bird sing. She didn't even know birds could survive in Gotham, but still, there it was. And the worse thing, she knew exactly what she had to do to get a good night's sleep, just open the damn envelope. It was on her nightstand, she picked it up. The front was empty, she turned it around. On the back was a bright red smile. 'Damn, he's crazy' she thought, right before she fell asleep.

~*~

Her head, her fucking head, oh how much it hurt. It was hot, and her head hurt. She slowly opened her eyes. Half of her vision was blurred. It was hot, and her head hurt, and she was going blind… Could things possibly get any better?

She grabbed at her hurting head and discovered the reason for her sudden blindness. An envelope blocked almost all of her sight. Reality kicked in and she sat up quickly. Too quickly as it turned out, her head seemed to explode and implode at the same time, the room turned and she dropped back on her pillow.

After a few minutes she slowly sat back up again and pulled herself out of her bed. She staggered to the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbed a microwave dinner and put the timer on 10 minutes. Argh, 10 whole minutes to wait for some stupid warm up spaghetti, not even real breakfast. Well, at least it gave her some time to do something against her incredible thirst. She grabbed a large glass and filled it with water. She finished it at one gulp. Surely a glass wasn't going to work. She turned on the faucet again and put her mouth against the cold stream of water. The cold water was refreshing on her hot face, it seemed to clear her head a bit. She stopped drinking and just let the water cover her face and form drops in her hair. Then she heard the magnetron beep.

After shoveling down her absurd breakfast (well, lunch if you considered the time) she walked back to her bed. The envelope was laying on the ground next to her bed, where it had landed after she had sat up so suddenly. She opened it and started to read.

Work. What do you get from it? Money? Yes, of course! Status? That only depends. Fulfillment? Usually not…

Time for us to combine work and pleasure, don't you agree? You can't work without a little play! And play is just what I do best! Time for you to join the party!

Now, this game starts Monday morning. As you probably know, I've got many enemies, and I'd really like to have one less. You will find everything you need in your drawer at work. Now, if you play my game properly, I might have other purposes for you and you get to live a little longer. Otherwise, well, you know.

Enjoy!

She read it twice, but still didn't completely understand. Why would the joker need her? If he wanted to kill someone at her work, why didn't he do it himself? Everyone knew he enjoyed killing, why let someone else do it for him?

And why, now she thought of it, didn't she even know he was out of prison. She had heard all about how they arrested him after he blew up a hospital and played some kind of social experiment on a boat, it was all over the news. If someone like him escaped prison, wouldn't the whole press be over it in a matter of seconds? She decided that either he escaped and for some bizarre reason no one knew, or the higher placed people knew, and they tried to cover it up.

But, somehow, for the first time in years, she was intrigued. That weekend, she couldn't stop thinking about it. She spend her weekend doing what she usually did, basically nothing. Watching some tv, getting some groceries, sleeping. But throughout everything, the joker was in the back of her mind. She didn't know what it was. 'Maybe', she thought, as she fell asleep on Sunday evening 'this is just the thing I need to make me feel alive again.' This was of course, the most ridiculous thought she had ever had. She probably had to kill someone, only to be killed herself afterwards. But maybe that was it, the possibility of dying could actually be reviving her.