Chapter 1
There can be little said for the funeral of Jessica Lee Moore except that it was said. I did not appear to either Sam or Dean Winchester. My shame was too great and though at one point that I felt that I should be present for the call was great especially in Sam's sorrow, I did not go. Dean for his part did his best to console his brother, however, Sam was inconsolable. It was at this point that I recognized how very much alike Sam and John Winchester were. I had always said it, but here was now proof.
They spent a week in Palo Alto trying to figure out if the thing that killed Jessica also killed their mother. I knew the truth of it but I would not tell them. Dean I knew wondered at my not being there. However, I could not face them. Instead, I set out to look for John, which coincidentally was exactly what his children were doing. I surmised by own means that John left them a clue, however, I knew John was not about to be found unless he wanted it.
I thought quite well that John would be nowhere his sons were. So that meant that I had to start with Bobby. I made my way quickly to Bobby's junkyard. I stopped outside the house. It had been some time since I had visited and I was cognizant of human ways. I smiled. I walked up the steps and knocked on the door. It swung open and Bobby stared at me in shock.
"Hello Bobby," I greeted him.
"Kelsey!" Bobby ran his hand over his face.
"I've not come at a ad time have I?" I smiled.
"No," he stepped back and allowed me entry into the house.
"It's been a long time," I commented.
"Well that's certainly an understatement," Bobby chuckled. "I take it that you're normal for you that is?"
"Oh yes," I affirmed. "I'm looking for John."
Bobby's face fell. I closed my eyes briefly. 'Leave it to John Winchester,' I thought.
"Do I have to ask what he did?" I prodded.
"I'm not going to tell you. But I finally lowered my shotgun at him," Bobby growled.
"He can be the damnedest man," I agreed.
Bobby laughed as he recalled that I had once soundly struck John with a book.
"Why don't you check with Dean?" Bobby asked.
I debated what to tell Bobby, then simply said, "Sam is with Dean and they don't know where he is."
Bobby found the nearest chair. His mind was obviously racing. I perched on another chair and waited.
"Sam is with Dean?" Bobby questioned.
"Yes," I nodded vigorously. "John didn't show up and Dean got Sam to help him."
Bobby shook his head as he tried to organize his thoughts. "Sam left school?" Bobby continued.
'Yes," I was succinct.
"I find that impossible to believe," Bobby said.
I said for it would have to be explained.
"Sam's girlfriend was killed by the same thing that killed their mother," I explained.
Bobby sat up in his chair. His face paled as it occurred to him that the two events must be related.
I watched and waited for the response and reaction. Bobby loved both boys equally and perhaps more than John did. He was far more tolerant of John's irritation than he would have been if it were not for his concern for them. It was that affection which had endeared Bobby to me.
Bobby stood and paced about the room. I understood that this was a perfectly natural and normal reaction. I would not have been surprised by anything at this point.
"Does John know?" Bobby asked.
"That I can't say, as I'm searching for him remember?" I gently reminded him.
Bobby stared at me oddly for a moment. He furrowed his brow as he attempted to control his thoughts.
"Sam must be a wreck," he surmised.
"Yes," I agreed.
"Kelsey, why aren't you with them?" Bobby demanded.
I had a choice to make at that moment. I wasn't willing to admit my part in the tragedy that had visited the Winchesters.
"Dean can and will take care of his brother," I dismissed Bobby's question. "I have to find John."
Bobby studied me for a moment. "I find it difficult to believe that you are not comforting Sam."
"Believe Bobby that there is something far more pressing than Sam's sorrow," I argued impatiently.
Bobby arched an eyebrow at me. "Kelsey, we don't know what kind of a supernatural being you are. But we do know that you would never willfully cause harm."
"But I would unwillingly cause harm?" I ventured.
Bobby did not respond.
I stood and walked to the door.
"Kelsey!" Bobby called me back.
It is apparent that you cannot help me. So I should stop wasting my time," I grumbled.
Bobby laughed at me. "Kelsey, whatever it is that's troubling you, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself."
I stared at him unseeing for a moment.
"Bobby," I began gently. "The enormity of what I have done is incalculable. The harm that I have caused you cannot begin to understand."
"I know that you Kelsey," Bobby disagreed. "You are incapable of real harm."
I smiled, "Do not mistake me for a human being, Bobby. It is like you have said. You don't know what manner of supernatural being I am. So how can you even begin to estimate the level of harm that I can or cannot cause?"
Bobby appeared startled by revelation. He also seemed to be perturbed by the tone of my voice. I was not without strength and he knew that I was probably quite dangerous. My apprehension lessened and I softened my gaze.
"Don't worry Bobby. I'll find John."
Bobby didn't reply and I opened the door and left his house. I thought briefly of both Sam and Dean. I knew that they would be puzzled by my apparent desertion, however, I could not linger. I had to move quickly for time was against me.
