Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, you're too kind! And now chapter 2…. Same idea again! Clark tries in vain to explain to everyone that he and Superman are THE SAME PERSON. Will anyone believe him?

Also, there's a little scene at the end, showing just how few people in Clark's office actually bother to notice him.

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Chapter 2 of this bizarre charade!

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Early one afternoon, Clark, still in his Superman costume and glasses, walks into a fast-food restaurant. (Saving an entire continent and a small Pacific island in less than 45 seconds has worked up a bit of an appetite). Much to his dismay they are only selling their new line in kryptonite sandwiches, so he dejectedly walks out again.

Passers by see the man in the tight blue suit with an 'S' on his chest and a billowing red cape and glasses.

Everyone: "GOOD GOD! Who on earth is that idiot in that ridiculous costume? He's obviously insane!"

As the crowd advance menacingly, Clark suddenly notices that one of the men is holding a newspaper, which has a GIANT photo of Superman on the front-page. Clark hastily grabs it and holds the full sized photo next to his own head.

Clark (desperately): "Look!"

Everyone: "OH MY GOD!"

Clark: "At last!"

Everyone: "THIS AWFUL MAN IS HOLDING A NEWSPAPER! SOMEONE ARREST HIM!"

Clark, sensing a sticky situation, prepares to run. His glasses fall off in his haste.

Everyone: "OH MY GOD! IT'S SUPERMAN!" Everyone hurtles towards him at lightning speed and shout to him. "SUPERMAN! PLEASE! Save us from the awful insane idiot in the ridicul - "

They all turn around to point to the insane man. "Wait – where did he go?" They look around frantically. "What? He's completely vanished!"

Clark (to himself): Just like all of your brain cells.

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A little while later, and with his glasses back in place, Clark decides to head back to the office. He returns to discover that everyone is excitedly discussing a new sighting of Superman outside a kryptonite fast-food restaurant.

Clark finally decides that he can no longer stand it. He leaps onto a desk, his cape slicing through the air, and addresses the entire room.

Clark: "EVERYONE!"

Lois (indignantly): "Who is that idiot?"

Colleague: "I don't know, but his red hover boots are damaging the furniture."

Clark suddenly shoots a powerful beam of blue light from the end of his index finger and carves the letters 'I AM SUPERMAN' onto the solid metal wall.

Lois (screwing up her eyes): "I can't read that – I need my glasses."

Clark: "Here – use these." Clark takes off his glasses and offers them to her.

Bad move, Clark.

Everyone: "OH MY GOD! IT'S SUPERMAN!"

50,000 screaming women suddenly launch themselves at Clark and faint in his arms. (Fortunately, because he is Superman, he manages to simultaneously hold all 50,000 women without any problem).

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Forty hours later, having finally got rid of the screaming lunatics (by parting his hair in a slightly different manner), Clark resumes his position on the desktop. He realises that he needs to go for the direct approach.

Clark (in an extremely clear, loud voice): "I - AM - SUPERMAN."

Office worker (whispering to colleague): "What did that bizarre man just say? He's

obviously talking some made-up gibberish because he's insane."

Colleague (whispering back): "Just keep him talking while I phone the police."

Office worker (desperately searching for a topic to distract Clark with): "So, I – er – wonder what this week's winning lottery numbers will be?"

Clark (promptly): "They will be 3, 12, 27, 39, 42, 46, and the bonus ball will be 19!"

Suddenly, the radio is heard….

RADIO: "….and you should expect there to be lots of rain this afternoon. So concludes today's weather report…. And now, here are this week's winning lottery numbers! They are - 3, 12, 27, 39, 42, 46, and the bonus ball is 19."

Everyone (in complete shock): "OH MY GOD! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!"

Clark (to himself): Finally!

Everyone: "IT'S GOING TO RAIN THIS AFTERNOON!"

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A little later that day, a new girl enters the office.

Office worker (to colleague): "Who is that?"

Colleague: "Oh, that's just the new girl. She started working here 45 seconds ago. Her name is Sally Anne Victoria Porter, she's 32 years old, her favourite flower is a tulip, her mother's maiden name is Richardson, she is of Norwegian and South-American descent, she has an allergy to asparagus leaves - "

Office worker (pointing to Clark): "Look – who on earth is that person who has worked in this office for the past 12 billion years?"

Colleague: "You mean the one in red and blue, holding a briefcase that is inscribed with the name Clark Kent and with a sign on his desk saying Clark Kent?"

Office worker: "Yes."

Colleague: "I have absolutely no idea."

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Ah, poor Clark. Will he ever get his point across? (Not likely).