Chapter Two: It's getting late and dark outside
Kurt hated sitting in this room. He hated how the leather material of the couch stuck to his leg, he hated how the light seemed to flicker every now and again and no one was changing the damn lightbulb, and he hated, most of all, that this psychiatrist he had been assigned to talk to sat in the dark. Every single session that they had had together, this man had been sitting in the dark, almost as if not being seen solved more problems.
Darkness solved nothing. Darkness was only one step towards vagueness and with the cold chills that would fill the room every so often, everything confused Kurt. Where could he find Blaine? Why weren't they letting him out of this prison designed as a hospital so he could find Blaine.
"I'm very concerned about you, Kurt" the man said in a familiar way that Kurt just could never place. The voice was strong, but it sounded as if he was being confronted each time he sat here.
"You shouldn't be," Kurt muttered.
"You're chasing after someone who doesn't exist, who isn't able to be chased," the man tried to remind Kurt.
Kurt frowned and wrapped his arms around himself, "Blaine is real, he's alive, and he loves me."
"Kurt, when we are alone and we want comfort," the psychiatrist said.
"I didn't make him up!" Kurt protested, his voice hurt more than ever and his eyes were starting to sting. Trying to convince himself of his life with Blaine had led to sleep deprivation and that was why his eyes were hurting so much. "We went to prom together twice, we danced on a table and sang Beatles songs, he led me down a corridor when I was scared and alone, we got married"
"Are you sure that you experienced those things together?" the man replied, "because I doubt those things could happen with someone who never lived. Do you remember the accident?"
Kurt took a deep breath, he remembered the car flipping over when he drove over the ice, he remembered the ambulance for the other driver, he remembered how scared he was and how before losing consciousness he had seen Blaine, and he remembered how his own face had been messed up and his limbs contorted whilst Blaine worried about him.
Why weren't they letting him find Blaine! This was wrong, he needed to be with Blaine because Blaine wouldn't care how his face appeared, Blaine loved him unconditionally. Was he so desperate for love that he had just conjured up this type of unconditional love?
"You were driving away from your bully. You were trying to clear your head from feeling unsafe and the car flipped over. You were in a coma for a few months, but you are sixteen Kurt. You never met Blaine Anderson, there is no Blaine Anderson."
"If Blaine never existed, why did he feel so real?" Kurt protested.
"Because you were sad and alone, because you needed to have someone, anyone, care for you as much as you'd seen others been cared for. You were scared about losing your father and told him you wanted someone, didn't your imaginary Blaine appear right after you said that that was what you wanted," the man said.
"Not imaginary, it was fate or destiny or really good luck or something," Kurt argued.
"You were scared that your father's heart would stop, that you would lose someone you loved, someone you could have helped."
Another cold chill, Kurt hated how cold this room would get. He wrapped his arms around him tighter. His eyes raised as the black curtain covering the window was blown to the side by the wind. The psychiatrist stood, walking over to a part of the room where he would not be exposed.
Kurt didn't even see him, all he saw were those familiar feet in those familiar boat shoes.
"Blaine," he whispered, hope in his eyes.
Blaine was standing right outside, he might have been looking for Kurt. He must have felt this sadness and he was just outside! They were nearly reunited.
"I've got to go," Kurt said as he felt a tenseness in his body and a deeper feeling of anxiety. Maybe what everyone else was saying was something that they believed in, but those shoes, those shoes could only belong to the love of his life.
He pushed himself from the couch and ran into the hall. If he went through the hallway and up those stairs, he would see Blaine. Once he was in Blaine's arms, he could prove that everything was real. That Blaine existed and that he loved Kurt.
Kurt started on his pursuit, he ran as fast as he could, but with every step he took, he felt something snag against his leg, they had laid down wires trying to stop him. They had made it harder for him to reach Blaine with these cables strewn across the floor.
As much as running through their trap stung, Kurt found his way to the stairs.
He pushed open the door using all his strength and was greeted by a downpour. He turned to see Blaine as cold ice hit his body. He was only wearing a hospital gown, but it didn't matter if he was next to naked, Blaine was before him and he was completely drenched.
"Hey!" Kurt called out to his husband, he wanted Blaine to turn around and look at him.
If only Blaine looked at him, everything would be better.
Kurt did not expect that Blaine would start running away from him without even turning to see him.
All Kurt wanted was to hold him, but as he called out for Blaine his voice got weaker.
"Turn around damn it!" he called out to the man who he now had to chase. "Look! Blaine! It's me! Why won't you look at me!" he yelled.
He was running barefoot, but Kurt didn't care.
He didn't understand why Blaine was running away from him.
"Kurt!" he heard Blaine's voice, "Oh there you are, I've been looking for you forever!"
Blaine stopped but suddenly Kurt felt dizzy, he saw the back of Blaine's head turning around looking for him. "I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine" he sang the words to himself, he was trying to comfort himself as Kurt often did when he wasn't allowed to see Blaine.
Kurt felt woozy but he just wanted to touch Blaine, he wanted to see Blaine.
"Do you wanna go?" Blaine asked as Kurt stopped trying to walk forwards, "We don't have to go back in there."
"Yes!" Kurt called out, "Yes! I want to go away with you!" he smiled
He didn't understand why after that Blaine had started running again or why it had all turned black, but it felt like Blaine didn't love him. If Blaine loved him why would he leave him? Why wouldn't he try all he could to stay together!?
He just wanted to be in Blaine's arms.
Was that really too much to ask for?
