Author's Note: Here's the second chapter to this fic about Trip and T'Pol. This one is about T'Pol's interactions with Lorian. Enjoy! Please Review!

Loss

"Mother, you need to…"

"I prefer to be called Commander T'Pol," T'Pol said kindly as they stood in front of an astral-projection screen.

"Of course you do," Lorian said with a smirk. "You made me call you that whenever you were on duty."

"It wasn't me," T'Pol corrected him.

"Of course," Lorian sighed.

"That is a very un-Vulcan response," T'Pol noted.

"You were used to my human ways as I grew up," Lorian said nicely. "Encouraged them even."

"That's illogical," T'Pol said softly.

"You have never been the most logical Vulcan, mother," Lorian said as he pushed some buttons. "Logic would dictate you would have never married my father, or investigated how to have a child with him, or…well, you get the idea."

T'Pol just nodded.

They worked in silence for quite some time before she finally spoke up.

"I do have one question," T'Pol said as she turned to face him. "And you can feel free to leave it unanswered."

"Go ahead," Lorian said, trying not to smile. He was sure it was about his father and was secretly happy his mother was already coming to accept her fate with the man.

"How did Enterprise manage accommodating, feeding, educating and training all the children that came from these unions?" T'Pol asked.

It was not the question Lorian expected and he couldn't help the disappointment in his response.

"Quarters were altered, some crew took positions in nurseries, school rooms were built and senior staff helped with our education…"

"But the burden of doubling or tripling the crew compliment…" T'Pol started.

"Enterprise was built to accommodate 145 people, but just housed an original crew of just over 80 people…there was room for growth," Lorian said, slightly annoyed. Her question was so…Vulcan.

"I still don't understand why there wasn't a limit placed on the children…"

"You tried to implement one," Lorian said. "A one child policy that worked for a few years but then…well, it didn't."

"One child per couple is logical," T'Pol said as she turned back toward the screen.

"That was your argument when the pon farr happened to you when I was seven years old," Lorian explained. "Dad wanted another child but you were adamant to not have another."

"A logical choice considering Mr Mayweather, among others, had four or more children," T'Pol said clearly.

"Dad didn't care about logic, he wanted me to have a brother or sister," Lorian said a little harshly. Although Lorian knew, all too well, that she and his father were sexually active throughout their marriage, the chance to conceive a child was highest during pon farr.

"But that T'Pol and that Trip only had you," T'Pol surmised. "He eventually saw the logic in that decision."

"Or you finally agreed to the illogical," Lorian said under his breath.

T'Pol looked at him closely. "What do you mean by that?"

Lorian considered not telling her, but her cold Vulcan demeanour was so far from the mother he knew that he felt the need to do something.

"You didn't get pregnant that pon farr, but you did the next one, when I was fourteen," Lorian explained.

He watched her features twist slightly and she shook her head in confusion.

"You have no siblings aboard Enterprise," T'Pol said.

"You lost the baby," Lorian said softly, suddenly realizing the hurt he may cause this woman. "It was a stressful time for you. And the baby…well, he didn't make it."

"A boy?" T'Pol asked.

"I'm sorry," Lorian said softly. "We were all very…sad about the loss."

"And that T'Pol and Trip didn't have another…?"

"No," Lorian said, leaving out the fact that his father wasn't alive when she lost the baby and therefore couldn't father future children. It was up to his father to share that detail with her if he chose to.

"Excuse me," T'Pol said suddenly before she left the room.

Lorian closed his eyes and promised to not let his human bias to make her feel something, get the better of him again.

T'Pol walked aimlessly around the ship not sure where she was going, but knowing she needed to go somewhere, not where Lorian was. It was illogical, the feelings that were bubbling up inside her, but illogical or not, they were there and they needed to be released.

She finally spotted cargo bay 3 and entered. The sight before her was not what she needed. There was a crew moving some equipment and strapping it to a dolly while Trip Tucker oversaw the operation. She swivelled on her heel and was just about to leave when he spotted her and called her name.

"T'Pol!"

She stood frozen in her spot but didn't turn around, her illogical emotions about the loss of a child that wasn't hers, were too close to the surface. He must have spotted something in her because he quickly dismissed the team and everyone filed quietly past her before the door shut behind them.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked as he approached her carefully.

"I need a moment, please leave," T'Pol said, her voice cracking under the strain of emotional containment.

"I will," Trip said as he rounded in front of her and was taken aback by the haunted expression he saw there. "As soon as I am sure you are alright."

"I'm not alright," T'Pol gasped as she felt her insides rumbling.

"Then how about you just tell me what I can do for you," Trip said as he laid the padd he was holding down on a box and stood before her. Everything had been upside down and backwards with them lately. One minute she was telling him to leave her alone, the next she was snuggling up to him in bed for a nap. Trip wasn't sure what this latest issue was, but he could tell it was tearing her apart.

"You don't want to be here for this," T'Pol said stoically.

"I won't leave you until I'm sure you're okay," Trip said softly. "So do whatever you need to do, and know that it's okay."

A heart-wrenching scream suddenly tore from her throat and Trip found himself taking a step back out of fear. She screamed for almost a minute, loud and strong with veins popping out in her forehead and tears falling from her eyes before she finally stopped. He watched her the entire time, her own pain resonating into his body and, although he wanted nothing more than to take it away, he knew she needed to do this. When she was done, she literally started to collapse to the ground and he caught her and held her tight against him, eventually scooping her up in his arms and starting to walk out of the cargo bay toward sick bay.

The engineers and crewman waiting outside could not have heard the scream through the sound proof doors, but they were taken aback by the sight of the first officer unconscious and being carried by the Chief Engineer.

"Kelby, you're in charge," Trip said as he walked past them carrying T'Pol as if she weighed nothing.

Thrity minutes later she came to in sick bay and saw Trip sitting in the chair next to her bioped bed tapping something on his padd.

"Ahh, you're awake," Phlox said as he approached her bed. Trip looked up suddenly and glanced toward her face. Worry was all over his features.

"I'm fine," she said softly, her voice hoarse.

"You had an emotional overload," Phlox said kindly. "Have you been meditating?"

"Not the last two days," T'Pol admitted.

"Well, that could be one of the reasons. That and your fully grown son walking the corridors," Phlox said as he gave her a hypo-spray.

"Was that what brought this on? Lorian?" Trip asked.

"No," she lied.

"Rest for another ten minutes and then I'll clear you to go to your quarters," Phlox said.

"But I have…" T'Pol started as she began to sit up.

"You are off duty for the remainder of the day, Commander," Phlox said before he walked away.

"Please convince him that I need to…" T'Pol implored Trip.

"Rest in your quarters? Yes, we're all in agreement about that, darlin'" Trip said with a worried grin. "Now, do you mind telling me what this was all about?"

T'Pol turned her head away from him.

"You can choose to not look at me," Trip said as she heard him start to punch keys on his padd again. "But that doesn't mean I'm not here, and that I don't deserve an answer to my question."

Ten minutes later, she was cleared to go back to her quarters. She pretended he wasn't behind her the entire walk back and when he came into her room behind her she didn't protest. And, when he covered her laying figure with a quilt and sat quietly on guard across the room while he completed paperwork, she didn't protest that either. When she woke, hours later, he was still there quietly working.

"He told me that his mother lost a child when he was fourteen years old," T'Pol said, breaking the silence. "That she'd resisted having another child earlier and that this one, the one she lost, would be their last."

Trip nodded and swallowed hard. He knew, without even asking Lorian, that she'd lost the baby because of the trauma of his death. The timelines matched. He still hadn't told her about his dying, and now promised he never would. It was not a burden she needed to carry with her as well.

"It's illogical because it's not me," T'Pol said softly, almost afraid of her own voice.

"But some part of you knows it's you and knows the pain," Trip said as he rose off the chair and sat next to her in the bed she was still laying in.

"It's illogical to believe that," T'Pol said softly.

"It may be illogical, but you believe it," Trip said with a sad smile. "And I'm sorry for that."

T'Pol said nothing in return.

"Do you think," Trip started. "Do you think Lorian is telling you this so you don't make the same mistake again? Like when he told me about my hollering at him?"

"It's possible," T'Pol said with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"And logical," Trip said with a smirk. "Maybe Lorian wanted a brother or sister and is hoping that part of history gets altered."

"It hasn't happened yet," T'Pol said with some admonishment. "And just because it's their…"

"Spare me the lecture," Trip said fondly. "And just accept that Lorian may, quite logically, be trying to help us."

"Help us?"

"If you and I don't get together darlin', there is no Lorian," Trip noted.

"True," T'Pol nodded. "But that is not a reason to…"

"Maybe the fact that I can't stop thinking about you is a good enough reason?" Trip asked, carefully. "Maybe the fact that you, although you have no preconceived notions of romance, feel something more for me than you do Malcolm, or Travis, or Jonathan."

For that he got a raised eyebrow.

"And maybe romance has nothing to do with logic and becoming romantically involved with me is the most illogical thing you could do but also the best thing you could do?"

Trip could feel his heart beating violently in his chest. This was a hail-mary if he ever threw one. She could decide to be all in, or throw up more walls that he'd never be able to tear down.

"I have made several illogical choices that have been good ones," T'Pol said, not giving anything away. "But logic would dictate that we wait until they leave to see if these are my emotions or those of T'Pol."

"A very logical choice," Trip smirked at her. "But I'm glad you are open to the possibility."

T'Pol wasn't sure what to do in that moment. Was hers the type of proclamation that was sealed with a kiss, intercourse, a hug?

"Do you wish to mate?" T'Pol asked, finally.

Trip caught the smirk that was making it's way across his features the second the question left her mouth.

"I'd love to darlin' but I've still got a lot of work to do and you've had a rough day," Trip said, not believing he was turning her down. "Raincheck?"

She knitted her eyebrows together, confused.

"Another night?" Trip clarified.

"Tomorrow, 22:00?" T'Pol asked.

Now Trip did chuckle.

"Let's see how you're feeling tomorrow, okay?" Trip asked as he stood from his spot. "Do you need me to bring you anything?"

"No," T'Pol answered him honestly.

"Okay, then," Trip hedged as he shifted from foot to foot. He was confused. She went from a screaming banshee, to a woman telling him she may be open to romance, to an offer for sex all in one day.

He leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead. "Try and meditate."

She nodded and heard him leave her quarters minutes later.

Loosen

"I'm sorry I left you yesterday," T'Pol said to Lorian as she re-joined him in front of the astral projections.

"I'm sorry I told you about that," Lorian said quietly. "It wasn't fair to you."

"No, it wasn't," T'Pol agreed.

"How about I tell you a nice memory?" Lorian asked.

"There's no need," T'Pol replied.

"But you'll like this one," Lorian teased. For a moment T'Pol saw Trip in his teasing.

"As it is not me, nor Commander Tucker…" T'Pol began.

"He taught you how to dance," Lorian smiled at her. "You had resisted for years but when Jonathan Archer got married there was going to be dancing; his wife's Ikaaran culture dictated that."

"And T'Pol felt the need to demonstrate her dance abilities?" T'Pol asked.

"You sort of had to as the officiant," Lorian chuckled.

T'Pol nodded. As the second in command, the duty to marry the captain would fall onto her.

"She had to dance?" T'Pol asked.

"Esilia, Captain Archer's bride, tried to teach you but…was unsuccessful," Lorian chuckled.

"I take it from your demeanour that T'Pol's dancing was unacceptable?"

"Until dad stepped in, yes, it was," Lorian smiled at her.

"And how old were you at the time?"

"I was six," Lorian said. "It was great entertainment watching you in the cargo bay. Dad and you walking through the steps side by side. It almost looked like one of those old Fred Astaire movies where the couples danced side by side."

"I am unfamiliar with Ikaaran dance ritual," T'Pol admitted.

"It was sort of flowing," Lorian explained. "There were steps but you had to improvise with your arms and torso. Dad kept saying you had to loosen up and not just do the steps. There were some arguments and stepped on toes, but you both laughed a lot."

T'Pol chose to ignore the comment about laughing. Vulcans did not laugh; the memory of a six year old was not to be trusted.

"T'Pol was required to do this dance as part of the ceremony?" T'Pol asked.

"Yes, up the aisle before the bride and groom walked in doing their own dance," Lorian explained.

"I can't imagine the Captain being comfortable with dancing either," T'Pol noted.

"His dancing was bad," Lorian noted. "Really bad."

T'Pol almost felt a smile escape but stopped it.

"But you looked beautiful," Lorian said nostalgically.

T'Pol was shocked by the emotion in his voice as he spoke.

"I don't know how dad did it," Lorian said with a smile. "Because the last time I saw you practice, you were good, but not that good."

"Maybe it was just a matter of mind over matter," T'Pol noted.

"No," Lorian said as he looked at her carefully. "I think it was a matter of not thinking, or thinking about something else, that allowed you to just…be."

T'Pol knitted her eyebrows together. That was a strange explanation.

"Dad talked about water a lot, I'm not sure what that was about, but you did almost look like you were dancing through water when you came down that aisle," Lorian said softly as he watched her reaction soften.

"I don't know how to swim," T'Pol said matter-of-factly.

"You did by the time I was born," Lorian said confused. "You were an amazing swimmer. I imagine dad taught you that as well."

"You mean T'Pol was an amazing swimmer," T'Pol corrected him.

"It was you, mother," Lorian said softly.

T'Pol held his gaze for a long time before she looked away.

"We should have the co-ordinates for the Captain in an hour," T'Pol said as she looked back toward the screen.

Lorian couldn't be sure, but he thought there was something in his mother's gaze that told him he had said something that rang true.

After the meeting with the captain T'Pol found herself in the mess hall being called over to sit with Trip, Malcolm and Jonathan Archer's great grand-daughter Karen.

"Karen was just telling us about this planet the crew used to take shore leave on every year," Trip said as she sat down with her vegetable plate.

"Every year?" T'Pol inquired.

"It was a great planet, similar to Earth in that it had differing climate zones, mountains, lakes, desserts…" Karen explained.

"Apparently we parked above the planet for a month each year and crew members were divided into two sets for a two week leave each," Malcolm explained.

"I spent many leaves at a great cabin in the woods, fishing, hunting, and swimming with my family," Karen explained. "Apparently the tradition began with Captain Archer."

"I wonder what I did on the planet," Trip inquired.

"Knowing you it involved a beach, surfing and scuba gear," Malcolm laughed.

"Probably just about right Mal," Trip chuckled.

"There was excellent clear water on the planet and many reef systems," Karen explained. "I know Lorian knows how to scuba dive."

"Well, I guess I must have taught him," Trip said as he looked at T'Pol. "I imagine you went swimming with us as well? Although I'm not sure I can see you on a surf board…"

"I can't swim," T'Pol admitted to the table; she needed to stop this illogical talk immediately.

"I imagine I taught you too," Trip said with a smirk. "It's no fun if its just me and Lorian out there…"

"I have no desire to learn to swim," T'Pol said vehemently.

"Fine, then you sat on the beach and…" Trip chuckled lightheartedly.

"This is a ridiculous conversation," T'Pol said as she stood from her seat and turned to leave the room.

"Wait, T'Pol!" Trip called after her.

She was gone before he could chase after her.

"Commander Tucker," Karen said as she looked at his annoyed expression. "I know for a fact that T'Pol still goes to the planet to swim each shore leave to this day. So, she may not swim now, but it becomes a passion of hers later."

"Now if this T'Pol would only realize that," Trip said as he picked up his fork and started to eat again.

Lesson

"Is everything alright mother?" Lorian asked as he watched her stalk past him in the hallway.

"I'm fine," T'Pol said as she walked past him.

Lorian turned on his heel and caught up with her.

"Now, is not a good time Lorian," T'Pol cautioned as she approached the turbolift.

"You're upset," Lorian said as he observed her.

"Vulcans do not get upset," T'Pol countered.

"You are not that type of Vulcan," Lorian said softly as he touched her arm.

"What do you want from me?" T'Pol implored. It was tiring being around all this talk of an impossible future.

"I want to help you," Lorian said as he lowered his voice.

"I don't know how you can help me," T'Pol said honestly.

The turbolift doors opened and they both stepped inside.

"Ask me anything and I'll answer you honestly," Lorian said.

"Lorian…"

"Anything," Lorian said as he looked into her eyes.

T'Pol made a snap decision and reached over to stop the turbolift's progress. She was going to ask the question she most wanted the answer to, and most feared the answer to.

"Am I happy? Are we happy, me and Trip and you?" T'Pol asked.

It was the first time she'd referred to herself as the person who was his mother and Lorian felt his heart clench; his mother was in this woman afterall.

"Very," he answered simply.

She buckled slightly at the waist and started to take deep breaths. Lorian wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a bad one but he continued.

"When I was younger you taught physics to the kids in the onboard school and at least once every day, dad dropped by to plant a kiss on your forehead. You try to act annoyed but we can all see you aren't."

"You made sure he slept at least 8 hours each night and ate three meals a day even if it meant you brought food to him and ordered him off duty. He pretended to be bothered but I think he secretly liked that you cared so much."

"You and dad practiced meditation and neuropressure together and would have these conversations that no one else understood but you. I know you were bonded and could talk in your heads so, every once in a while, when dad laughed out of the blue, we knew you'd told him something funny."

"And many times I walked into our quarters to see you sitting in his arms, or the two of you slow dancing to music that you were playing, or laughing about some story he told. You also took three days of every shore leave to yourselves and would send me with the Archers. I don't know where you went together or what you did, but whatever it was, made you both very happy."

"So yes, mother, we are very happy. I felt so much love from both of you growing up. We were an amazing family."

T'Pol stood up and brushed some tears from her eyes before she spoke again.

"But yet you didn't marry?" T'Pol asked. "If we were such good parents…"

"I married Jasmine when I was twenty," Lorian said softly. "I hoped to have what you and dad had but…she died a few years later. A plant toxin was released near her when she was on a planet gathering specimens. I have been alone since."

"Lorian," T'Pol sighed as she reached and touched his arm.

"I'm married to my ship, mother," Lorian said sadly. "But I'm good with that."

"You still could…"

"You should know as well as I do, that there's only room for one romantic love," Lorian said as he met her eyes. "We both found them, luckily."

T'Pol nodded.

The comm sparked to life. "Commander T'Pol is everything alight?"

"Yes, fine," T'Pol said as she straightened her posture. "I just hit the button by accident. Carry on ensign."

T'pol reached over and just as she was about to touch the button Lorian grabbed her hand. He squeezed and she fiercely squeezed back and poured love into the small contact.

He nodded and released her hand so she could activate the turbolift again. When she got off at her floor she merely nodded to him and walked away.

A few hours later she found herself hitting the comm button on Trip's door.

"Come in!" Trip called from somewhere inside.

She walked inside and found no sign of him, but the washroom door was shut.

"Trip?" She inquired.

"T'Pol?" He asked confused as he opened the door and stood before her wrapped in a towel at his waist. "What are you doing here?"

"You were supposed to come to my quarters for intercourse at…"

"What?" Trip asked, astounded.

"The rain check?" She inquired.

"After the way you stormed out the mess, I thought I'd be the last person you'd want to see," Trip said as he stepped out of his washroom and walked past her.

"I have been waiting 78 minutes for your arrival," T'Pol explained.

"So you wanted to sleep together even though you were angry with me?" Trip asked, confused.

"I'm not angry with you," T'Pol explained.

"I know," he sighed as he looked through his drawers for underwear and a t-shirt. "Vulcans don't get angry."

"That's not what I was going to say," T'Pol said as she watched him drop some underwear back into a drawer and turn to face her.

"What?"

"I was going to say that I was annoyed with the situation, the possible future that the other Enterprise has postulated for us, the…"

"I thought you said you'd be open to the possibility of a future with me?" Trip asked annoyed as he placed both hands on his hips.

"I am," T'Pol said succinctly.

"Then why are you annoyed by the fact that you and I may end up together?" Trip asked, trying to clarify.

"I'm not," T'Pol answered.

"Hold on, you just said…"

"I said I was annoyed with the situation, all the talk on board of what COULD be," T'Pol explained.

Trip said nothing and waited for her to continue her explanation. He still wasn't sure there was a difference between what he'd said and what she'd said.

"I am Vulcan, and as such, I function better with information that is known, can be tested, verified…"

Trip nodded, there was no new information here.

"But the prospect that you and I will be together, have a child, create two children, be happy, that I'll dance and laugh…that cannot be verified and, in fact, based on my own knowledge of myself at this time, seems highly implausible."

Trip sighed and finally realized what was causing her so much anxiety.

"Darlin' no one knows anything, when it comes to romance, that can be tested and verified," he said as he stepped towards her. "And I don't know one person that isn't changed in some way by the person they fall in love with."

"But I swim," T'Pol said shocked.

"And I become mostly a vegetarian," Trip laughed as he took her hands in his. "Love is about taking a leap of faith and not knowing if it'll work out, but hoping it does, and doing everything to make it work."

"I'm still not clear if it is love I feel for you," T'Pol said honestly as she met his eyes.

Trip leaned in and kissed her passionately; she responded with equal passion and they found themselves tumbling into his bed, throwing off towel and clothes and making hurried and almost frantic love. After the act was done, Trip lay panting next to her, his chest heaving with the effort their activities had required.

"Well, that's definitely lust," he chuckled.

"And love?" T'Pol asked as she rolled to face him.

"Do you like talking to me? Arguing with me? Do you try and seek me out for no really logical reason?" Trip asked.

"Yes," T'Pol answered.

"Do you feel attracted to me more than any other man on this ship?" Trip asked.

"Yes," T'Pol answered.

"Do you find yourself thinking about me? Having pretend conversations with me in your head? Thinking of telling me something when you learn about it?" Trip asked.

"I do," T'Pol answered.

"Would it upset you or bother you if I was to leave and you'd never see me again?" Trip asked.

T'Pol nodded in agreement.

"Do you have unexplainable urges to touch me or kiss me?" Trip asked.

"I do," T'Pol answered.

"Then, by every definition I can think of, you love me," Trip smiled at her and touched her cheek. "But only you will know for sure, and maybe you won't trust that feeling until Lorian's ship is away from us and you know, for certain, that those feelings are yours."

T'Pol nodded in agreement.

"I know I love you T'Pol," Trip said as he looked deeply into her eyes. "I'm just waiting for you to figure it out too."

T'Pol leaned in and snuggled against his frame. She knew she'd feel better about this connection when she was sure it was actually she who felt these things.