Okay, so I realize I'm the world's worst author and I've taken forever to update, but hey. I'm back, alright? I just lost my inspiration a bit. A few semi-important things before we get on with the next chapter:
1. I just realized this is more like a PWP (Plot? What Plot?) So if you were expecting some epic adventure where they travel, fall in love, and run off into the sunset together, you're going to be sorely disappointed. Leave now if you must, but this is really just supposed to be nice and fluffy multichaptered snack fic.
2. It gets slightly graphic in this chapter because of the immature boy talk coming up. And the mention of Dudley and porn in the same quotation. -shudder- If that's gonna freak you out of turn you off you know what to do. Also, I don't know if it's graphic enough for this fic to qualify for an M rating, but if it does let me know!
Yep, that's about it. Once again, I'm sorry for the huge three month delay. As a reward, this chapter probably a little better, and includes a nice long preview of the next chap. Enjoy : )
Insomnia
Chapter 2
"Hello? Earth to Ron…?" Harry waved a hand in front of his face, urging him to come back to reality.
"Huh, what?" Ron asked, finally losing that faraway look and regaining his senses. He gasped slightly as his eyes focused in. How did Harry suddenly get that close? A small, telltale blush began to involuntarily spread over his cheeks.
"You know, you're actually within kissing distance. All you have to do is just lean forward slightly and…"
"Christ! Will you go away for just a minute?!" Ron shouted. He was really getting fed up with that voice, always interjecting it's unwanted opinions and such.
"Ron? Are you okay?" Harry asked worriedly with a frown, slightly disturbed by his friend's outburst and drawing back a bit. "You're a little off-color. Literally and figuratively speaking." The slight blush kissing Ron's cheeks flared.
"I'm fine. Really. Just frustrated, that's all." he muttered, turning away to hide his face.
He really had to stop doing this sort of thing.
"Right. Well you still didn't tell me why you threw a sock at me." Harry said, moving back to his own bed a few feet away. He climbed onto the mattress, spread his legs out, and rested his back against the headboard. He peered at Ron curiously behind his frames.
"Oh. Well, I just wanted to talk to you I guess. I couldn't sleep for the life of me and I was bored. So I threw a sock at you to wake you up, so I'd have company that is." Ron replied, grinning at how foolish it all sounded.
"Oh?" Harry inquired, cocking his head in mild amusement.
"Yeah…so. You want to talk?"
"Sure, we might as well. I mean, I don't think there's anyway I'm getting back to sleep now." Harry rolled his eyes good-naturedly, earning an appreciative chuckle from Ron.
"Yeah…"
"Yeah."
An awkwardly comfortable silence followed this statement. (If that even makes sense.)
"So uh, are you ready to go back to school?" Ron asked finally, immediately feeling weird about the question. He sounded just like his mum and dad when Harry first arrived a few weeks ago, wanting to know how Harry had been, what he'd been doing so far this summer, did he pass his NEWTs. The usual stuff.
"Hmm…well I really like spending the majority of the hols over here. So I wouldn't object to a few extra weeks 'til we go back. But I kind of miss Hogwarts too," Harry replied giving a bit of a smile. "I don't know. Mixed feelings I guess. What about you?"
"Well, I suppose I have mixed feelings too. The holiday is nice. Even nicer with you here," Ron said honestly, trying his hardest to once again ignore the voice in his head making catcalls, kissing noises, and whistling. "But I don't mind going back to school in two weeks so much. Just as long as Malfoy transfigures himself into food for the giant squid, Snape doesn't act like he's got a stick up his arse all the time, and Trelawney lays off the cooking sherry."
"I don't think…that's going to happen– anytime soon." Harry managed to choke out around a boisterous bout of laughter. This sudden wave of hilarity was apparently contagious as Ron joined in.
A full minute passed until they finally managed to get themselves under control, and even then there was an occasional chuckle or wide smile. They sat in amiable silence for a moment.
"You know what the teachers really need?" Harry began.
"What?"
"A really good shag."
"What?!" Ron spluttered, not believing his ears. Perhaps he misinterpreted it but it sounded as if he had said 'shag'. "Come again?"
"I said the teachers need a really good shag. It would loosen them up a bit…What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Harry asked bewilderedly, noting that Ron's expression resembled the face of someone who just got an unexpected whiff of dragon dung.
(If you wanted to simplify it, he looked like Snape on one of his really bitchy days but that was beside the point.)
"Are you off your rocker? You just said–! I mean, a shag–? Can you picture…? Snape, he–! Ewww! That's just nasty!" Ron stammered incoherently.
Somehow, Harry managed to interpret whatever babble just came out of Ron's mouth as he suddenly made a face quite similar to his.
"Ah. I see what you're saying." he replied, scrunching up his nose in revulsion and mild nausea. "I wouldn't want to see Snape pushed against some wall in a dingy broom closet with his pants around his ankles, getting his rocks off with some woman."
"Please!" Ron groaned, clapping his hands over his reddening ears. "Don't go into detail!"
Harry threw his head back in laughter, obviously enjoying scarring his friend. Ignoring Ron's pleas and his own churning stomach advising him differently, he continued.
"I can see it now. Snape's head is thrown back in mock wild pleasure as her mouth encloses upon his small oily penis, her jaw working frantically as he she tries to get him off," he begins, not sure of where he's going with this, but pretty confident he won't like it. "He yells and screams for her to suck harder making a whole show of being on the brink of going into oblivion. But it is all an act because, tragically, Snape can't come or even get it up an inch. All that grease he's built up has blocked his come glands so badly, not even an orgy complete with toys and beautiful naked women can get a drop out of him!"
Ron was caught somewhere between laughing so hard he couldn't breathe and being so disgusted he wanted to claw his brains out to rid himself of the image. He settled for somewhere in the middle as he keeled over with laughter and complained of how sick Harry's mind was.
"Do you daydream about these things or something, mate?" Ron wheezed, trying to regain his composure. "Hell, that was a lot of detail!"
Harry just gave a mischievous grin.
"I snuck on Dudley's computer one day while he was out with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. I was just curious about what he did on there, 'cause I swear I heard electronic noises coming from his room on some nights. Well anyway, you wouldn't believe how much porn he's downloaded on that computer. Hours and hours worth."
"Really?" Ron asked, caught between disbelief, disgust, and odd curiosity.
"Yep." Harry nodded in affirmation. "Everything from gangbangs to role-play to girl-on-girl stuff."
"Wow." Ron replied in a small, incredulous voice.
"Yeah, I guess that tosser's desperate for some action," Harry snorted, "I know the girls won't touch him with a ten foot pole, so he's got to rely on porn to get his wand polished."
They both threw their heads back and laughed.
Preview of Chapter 3
"…or a he." Harry replied after several moments of quiet reflection.
"What? What do mean by 'or a he?'" Ron questioned sitting up to look at Harry in the moonlight. The whole conversation they've had so far would have been a bit easier if they had both cast a lumos, but Ron liked the cloak of the night. He guessed Harry did too.
"I mean, Snape could have been shagged by a willing man."
"Okay…" Ron trailed off, lost on where this conversation was going. The story had only been for a laugh, right? Now Harry was treating it like it actually happened or could. "What? Do you think Snape's gay or something?"
"No, not necessarily," Harry began carefully. "It's just that we always automatically assume a person is straight, unless they say they aren't or they're obvious. Some people are just very good at hiding it and you'd never really know unless they chose to tell you."
A sudden wave of paranoia washed over Ron as he took in Harry's words. Was it just him, or was Harry really insinuating that he had found Ron out and was trying to coax him into telling him how he felt about him? His eyes widened in astonishment at...Wait a second. Was he really gay? He had never really considered himself to be. As far as Ron knew, he was never attracted to any other guys, except Harry. He most certainly still liked girls, although it had been a while since one had caught his fancy. Whether he was possibly bisexual was a whole other can of worms he didn't plan to open until later. For now he had to focus on the present.
And at present, Harry was calling his name.
"Ron? Are you there? You keep spacing out on me."
"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry, what were you saying mate?"
Author's Note:
I hope this chapter is a bit more fulfilling. The next one will be less funny stuff and more serious stuff, such as Ron's emotions being put on the line. -ahem- So yes, look forward to that. If you don't see that by the end of the month, I might be really occupied or (if worst comes to worst) some of my inspiration left me. But fear not oh mighty bold slash reader. I swear I will finish this. To make up for the potential delay, I may put up the other Harry/Ron fic I'm working on (which in my opinion is a lot better and much more fun). So lookout for that, or even better, put me on your author alert list!
Okay, you've made it this far. Why not take the time to write a really quick review or words of encouragement to get me moving on this thing. It's kind of upsetting to see 200 or 500+ hits and only 5 reviews. Makes me not want to update. So if you wanna see more, just tell me what you think! It's that simple guys.
