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Challenge - Dreams and Fantasies
My dreams are faint and fleeting, and I cannot grasp them in my mind, no matter how hard I try to catch them.
When I wake up, it is to see a Maia standing over me, a small smile on his fair face as he helps me to sit up and hands me a glass of water. I attempt to reach out and take it, but my fingers do not want to move. They stay still, and no amount of willing them will not make them budge.
"There is no need to panic." The Maia speaks softly. "It is natural that you must learn how to move again after you are newly reborn." He says, lifting the cup to my mouth. I say nothing, but swallow the cool water gratefully, closing my eyes.
It has been so long since I have drank anything, felt anything. It is like being born all over again- which is exactly what has happened. I look down at myself to see that I look exactly as I did before. Nothing is different. My hair is still red, the soft strands fluttering in the breeze that blows through the open window. Even my missing hand is back, for which I am infinitely grateful.
The feelings of the hair brushing against my cheek, of the water in my mouth slipping down my throat, of the breeze caressing my skin as softly as a mother's touch: I savor them all as a gift.
I have been reborn. I have been given a new chance. Despite that it is a gift that I am unworthy of, I realize that every gift is unworthy of being received. All of them are priceless, and therein is the catch. We have no choice but to receive them, because they are freely offered and we can never truly be worthy of them.
I sigh as the Maia helps me lay back again. It's difficult to stay awake; I feel so tired and weary. He looks at me keenly as I lay there listlessly. My hair is dull, mirroring my feelings.
"Sleep. It will do you good, and you will find yourself sleeping much in the beginning, although it will lessen the more you begin to recover." He said, tucking the blankets around me. I barely hear the last of his words before it all blacks out again and I sink into the welcome oblivion, where the darkness doesn't question but instead merely hugs me.
The next few days were all the same. Every time I woke up, I drank and occasionally ate, then fell asleep again, although each time I stayed awake longer than the last.
But now, I can stay awake for a whole day, and I can even stand up and take a few steps. I don't complain at the slow progress, though; I have no reason to want to, as I might have a long time ago.
Each new achievement is a new step towards being able to resume my old life. I do not attempt to worry about my life after I took the oath. It is difficult to think of, and I gladly shun the thoughts.
I sit by the window in my hut in Lòrien, watching the Maiar who tend to the plants in the gardens. But my mind is far away, back in time before everything went wrong. I am back at home with mother and father, and all of my brothers, when the Ambarussa were but elflings of twenty.
The cottage we used to live in was small but cozy. Tyelko always kept Huan in the backyard of the small house. It was a small place father had built for us to go to for a vacation away from the politics of Tirion. I shared a room with Màkalaurë, since there was not enough space for us to have separate rooms. But I did not mind.
I sit on the large, stuffed chair in the main room, listening to the fire crackling merrily in its confines. It sounds like it is cackling gleefully over something, I think to myself. I pick up a piece of paper Mákalaurë has shoved aside to dispose of and toss it, watching as it flutters into the grate. The fire snatches up my offering, stuffing it into its mouth and devouring it greedily. A strange way of hoarding treasure.
Something soft and warm landing on my lap makes me start and look down to see that the Ambarussa have climbed into my lap, looking up at me with identical, pleading faces. I smile down at them, wrapping my arms around their small forms.
They are so small and soft, molding into my arms like lumps of clay. I kiss their tousled red hair, and they smile up at me in reply, both reaching up to press their peach lips against my cheeks. Their arms wrap around me as their pale pink cheeks dimple with happiness.
Moryo suddenly walks by and drops a plate on my lap with careless grace, sitting at my feet. On the plate are honey cookies, and the Ambarussa both squeal, reaching for the treats, causing difficulty for me as I attempt to balance both them and the plate precariously.
Moryo smirks at me slightly, his freckled cheeks scrunching as his green eyes sparkle under his dark eyebrows and wine-colored hair. "Ammë wants you to taste them." He said needlessly, biting into his own cookie.
I pick one up, nibbling on it. It is warm and soft, bending under the pressure of my fingers before tearing away reluctantly. The edges of the cookie, as I pull it away, have long, sticky strands hanging from them like the remaining fibers of ripped parchment. The taste of honey and cinnamon melt in my mouth in a burst of sweetness, and I close my eyes for a brief moment.
The Ambarussa finish their cookies and drop the plate onto Moryo's lap as he stands and lazily saunters off to the kitchen. Sticky, aromatic lips press against my neck, and I open my eyes to see that the twins have nestled into me, smiling as crumbs litter their laps and smudge their cheeks.
I smile, brushing them off and wiping their faces gently with my silk sleeve. They merely grin up at me.
"Did you see Tyelko today, Nelyo?" Asks one of them. I am too lazy to figure out which one it is.
"He was amazing with his bow!" The other lisps slightly in his sweet voice, the Quenyä rolling off of his lips like water from a waterskin.
"Yes, I saw him, Ambarussa. He is very good." I reply, and Mákalaurë suddenly bursts into song as he finishes his composition.
The Ambarussa quiet down as we listen to our brother sing. His long, tapered fingers caress the strings of his harp, coaxing forth beautiful notes as patiently and expertly as as mother would coax a child out of hiding. The notes drip to the floor and flow together beneath our feet, mingling pleasantly.
His voice is sweet and high, a pleasing softness to it that makes him sound shy and delicate. He was always fragile, my Káno. His skin is like porcelain or alabaster, white and smooth, making one wonder if the light of the Trees could shine right through him if you looked carefully enough.
His throat is like the tapering neck of a vase, vibrating as he sings. His face is soft and oval shaped, not sharp and angular like our father's. His metallic blue hair shimmers in the light of Telperion streaming through the window, and long eyelashes sweep against his cheeks, hiding soft silver eyes underneath them.
The Ambarussa fall asleep in my lap, and Káno's voice continues to spill into the air, slowly trickling away like wasted wine.
My vision slowly focuses once more as I come back to the present, and I see that the Maia is standing there in the doorway, holding out his hand. I take it without a word, and he leads me away, where I know not. I do not care.
As long as my brothers are not here, I care not what happens to me.
This one shot has a grand 1368 words... It seems so short and yet long at the same time... Meh. As long as it is enjoyable.
