Author's idiotisms: From this point on, if anyone submits a tribute, I'm going to retroactively add them into the story. And if no one does... let's wait and see.
GLaDOS took time to record the footage, memorizing every face and name, but Chell and Doug didn't really pay attention and simply waited for the reapings to end.
"So, first lesson?" Doug asked when everything ended and he and Chell got to eat. The variety of food obviously amazed them, since Aperture had manufactured food et cetera you know that.
"First lesson? I'll say this as a first lesson: always embrace the possibility of death. Remember that there are twenty-six other people desiring for your blood, and out of twenty-eight of you, only one is going to survive. That's right, I am certain one of you listening to me is going to die. So yeah, if you're sorry for each other, say it now, because after the Games you'll never have a chance."
"Miss GLaDOS, you're supposed to mentor us. Help us survive, not make us believe we must die."
"Mister Rattmann, if either you or Miss Redacted win the Games, I'll no longer be able to be the mentor and provide extra footage."
Chell put her finger to her mouth, as if trying to silence GLaDOS.
"You're trying to silence me, Miss Redacted? You're just jealous that you can't speak yourself."
Chell put her fingers to the table, as if holding an invisible pen, and started writing invisible text, which GLaDOS read, drawing an imaginary (but to her it looked real) line where the text was.
"Do not - refer - to me as - Miss Redac-ted. My real full - name is - Chell Mer-chant. Okay, fine, Miss Merchant. I'll be sure to note it."
Before GLaDOS could notice the importance of the name, however, she heard footsteps closing in on her, Chell and Doug and quickly pressed a button on her wrist. Suddenly, the robotic body flickered out and was replaced with a human female body dressed in white formal clothes. Her hair was now dark brown, but she still had yellow irises.
An Avox walked into the room, just as GLaDOS expected, and bowed.
"Why hello there. My name is Caroline... Morality, and I am the appointed mentor for Chell Merchant and Doug Rattmann."
Caroline Morality? Really? It's obvious the personality cores are rubbing off on me, but that doesn't sound like a real name at all.
The Avox, while saying nothing, gave the human in white a weird look, then snapped her wrist as if asking to tell the truth, and just as she did, the robot form of GLaDOS came back. Before the Avox could do anything, however, GLaDOS snapped his neck and effectively strangled him, then dropped him dead and switched back to the human look.
"Nice! Was that a lesson?"
"You don't have metal hands."
GLaDOS then looked as Chell and Doug further ate, and couldn't help but feel disgusted that she was forced to cosplay as a human for this entire trip. She took out an imaginary notebook in her processor, and wrote: "Humans. Are. Disgusting."
When the eating ritual ended, two other humans walked into Chell's and Doug's room and gave them a handshake.
"Doug Rattmann and Chell Redacted-"
"Chell Merchant. For some reason an asshole deleted her surname from her databases." GLaDOS snarled.
"We are your stylists, Lily and Matt. So you know who we are when we prepare you for the first live sight of everyone at Capitol tomorrow."
"Lily and Matt, I am Caroline Morality, Chell and Doug's appointed mentor, and you have nothing to worry if and or when you do not find one of the Avoxes."
Well, stuck with that name now.
Lily and Matt walked out, and Chell and Doug realized they needed some sleep, and took off for their bedrooms, and GLaDOS was left alone.
"Arrival in: twenty hours."
"Why, thank you." GLaDOS, still not fully tuning back to the tremendous chassis back in Aperture, noticed that she was still sitting on the body of the Avox she killed, and threw the body off the window of the train to the evening somewhere between Aperture- er, District 14 and the Capitol. Then she turned on the TV again, and simultaneously, with the main chassis, configured Aperture Laboratories to broadcast camera feeds of test chambers so the android body could watch the tests. Good thing Aperture does not have the 24 hour cycle the outside has.
Feeling disappointed with how test subjects, seemingly invincible now, failed to die, however, she shut off the TV and put the android body to sleep mode, so she could focus on inventing a new deadly testing element.
"Arrival in: twelve hours."
The voice of the announcer in the room GLaDOS technically wasn't in startled her, and she tuned back into the android body, rendering it as waking up.
"What is happening now?"
Just then, a blue portal popped up and a woman that looked like Chell but with a differently colored jumpsuit looked out.
"eA? Anyone in here?"
"Who the fuck is eA?"
"empatheticAmazon. You know, my alternate self."
And also, just then, as right now I like redundancy, (TNAN: Stop stealing from Rose. I'm sure she wrote that line first.) another Chell walked out, only wrapped in several towels.
"Oh. Mandatory showering." The other Chell walked out, and there was only one thing running in Caroline's deliberately weakened mind.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me."
More of these.
(Only one) This is not in the same universe as Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise. That one had Caroline Whoever and Chell Johnson, and this one has Caroline Morality and Chell Merchant. Distinction!
TNAN: You do realize I actually popped up in this chapter. And return to using TOANs.
Author's idiotisms: No.
