All was peaceful in the Shire, except for the whispers from the small group of dwarves which joined Gandalf and Bo, they seemed excited but Bo could sense nerves among them- were they scared of her? Bo was used to that behaviour, not many folks had seen anything quite like her; only a few know the truth and those of her kind were non-existent. You can say she was one of a kind, but depending how she took the comment, it would probably get you killed.
Bo ignored the dwarves and followed Gandalf, she was still annoyed that he didn't answer her questions. She thought she had been patient, yet being patient paid no price no what did was bravery, skills, knowledge and weapons. That she believed in and stuck by, yet Gandalf tried to persuade her to make aliases with different folk many times, despite her little effort, they didn't want to know her or were scared of her.
Bo stood at a hobbit hole door behind a small group of dwarves, she stood away letting them fall onto the ground when the door was finally opened. She felt a smile form on her face but it didn't grow any wider as she felt Gandalf's gaze upon her, instead rolled her eyes. Hearing the unexpected host's realisation of who it was and who's idea to bring the dwarves to the Hobbit Hole, Bo stared at the Hobbit and wondered why Gandalf had in plan and if it involved the little fellow.
Quickly she followed the old wizard in the warm hole and let her eyes wander her surroundings. She had not seen anything quite like it. Everything looked quite grand! Though small, the Hobbit Hole didn't show its size, it showed features of family pass downs, warmth, love and cleanliness. Awe showed in her big eyes, however hearing movement she brought her attention back to the matter whose presence she was in. She turned her head and notice the company of dwarves had forgot their fixation of Bo and their minds turned to food, she watched with shock as they all took over the house, some were putting food on the table, ordering the chairs to fit them all in, some carried food on plates around, those walking and carrying tried not to walk into each other. Bo smiled watching Bilbo trying his hardest to retrieve food back and telling the unwanted guests to put the food back. She felt sorry for the Hobbit, as she wouldn't like unwanted guests to barge through her home and eat all her food! Yet she didn't have a place to call a home. The wild was her home. The grass of Middle Earth, the trees, the air and the water; that was her home, not strong walls, not warmth from fires in the fireplace or the comfort of safety.
"Bo, is everything ok?" She heard Gandalf ask gently.
Bo glanced sideward to see he was standing next to her. She saw his concern but she sensed there was something else, another thing he kept away from her. Maybe two could play the same game? Maybe she could pretend nothing was bothering her and see how long he could act like he didn't care. Bo looked back at the scene before her and knew her plan wouldn't last long. Gandalf knew everything. Whatever happens in Middle Earth doesn't pass the wandering wizard. She smiled as the thought of Middle Earth being renamed after Gandalf and him hearing everyone's truth and lies while he sits smoking his pipe.
"I haven't seen so many dwarves in one place before. They really do love their food" Bo stated. "I've seen a pack of Wargs demolish their hunt!"
"You better help and get some food before they all have it." Gandalf said before walking away.
She stared at the wandering wizard and thought his words were true. She quickly walked to the kitchen and couldn't believe what she was seeing, six dwarves grabbing what they can, mess everywhere and no space to move! Bo just stared at the scene for a few seconds before her eyes caught a three wheels of cheese. She glanced to the dwarves and saw they were too busy collecting other food. She licked her lips before pushing herself to the cheese. However as she stretched her hands to pick up one wheel, another pair of hands grabbed not just one but three and walked away; leaving her with confusion and anger. Rude was the only word that came to mind as she watched the dwarf who she learnt was called Bombur walk away.
Bo glanced around to see if there was any other food and her eyes caught a plate of ham! She rushed over but to be pushed out the way by another dwarf. She narrowed her eyes as she watched him walked away. She let out a sigh and gave up. She walked out and stood next to Gandalf and watched solemnly as the dwarfs took charge of the food.
"Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, Ori" She heard Gandalf say, she watched as he counted on his fingers while he named each dwarf. Twelve dwarves!
"You better warn them Gandalf, if they get in the way of me and my food, they have a price to pay." Bo said angrily. "And it won't be a nice one either."
"Come on Bo, they've travelled far and wide for many days." Gandalf said gently so only she could hear. "You've been there yourself, days without food or water, and the hunger grows to the amount that you dream about the food that you crave."
Bo rolled her eyes and knew he was right, but she still didn't like being pushed around. She watched Gandalf stroll away to the dining room to settle himself at the table, she noticed how tall he was compared to the company of dwarves, he looked out of place, and to be honest they all seemed to be out of place in the hobbit's home. They all didn't belong there or the Shire at that matter, their tales would be known through songs and folk stories but none would know the truth or the real details, Bo had heard many tales about Gandalf, some had turned out to be true but she learnt his version to be more interesting and realistic than a drunken man telling the whole pub the things he had heard one night.
"Oh how things change in a matter of seconds." Bo found herself saying to herself before sitting down next to Gandalf. Sitting down she felt uncomfortable, she hadn't sat around a table with many people before, she watched a few seconds the scene of dwarves grabbing food and shoving it in their mouths and drowning their ale! Learning from her mistakes from earlier, Bo quickly grabbed anything she could and put it down on her plate.
Sensing someone's eyes on her, she looked up to see it was Gandalf's. "What? I'm hungry too." She said before grabbing the plate from him and taking a roll herself before passing it along.
Chewing on the piece of roll, Bo looked up hearing Bofur say: "Bomfur catch!" and watched as the one at the end caught the food in his mouth and heard everyone cheer. They were behaving like children! Bo just watched knowing she had to watch her tongue, she knew they were small and acted like this sometimes but if offended they held their grudges for a life time!
She found herself joining in with their drinking games and food fights! She finally felt at ease for the first time since she could remember, looking around she knew they weren't as different as she thought. They had lost their homes. Lost contact with people they once knew and loved. Their lives were so fine and care free but now turned upside down, to be forced to live somewhere which they were made to call home, have many enemies and grew cold; trusting no one.
"Who want's ale?" She heard Fili ask bringing her out of her thoughts.
She watched as the young dwarf walked along the table, kicking food out of his way. She caught some and ate it thinking it be would be a waste if it was left alone. The food she caught and cooked on the camp fire was good and sometimes filling depending on the source but the hobbit's was outstanding! She hadn't seen so much food for years. She wished she could take it with her but it would waste time and space in bags. She realised while finishing off a chicken leg that she hadn't had a proper meal for six months, since they left Prancing Pony. Thinking of the inn, Bo lowered her gaze, her heart sunk in its cage; sinking slowly in its pool of guilt which waited below. She had said too many goodbyes, to both places which she knew and dreamt of and people she once knew, names she recalled but no faces appeared as they've all changed or not around no longer. That was one reason Bo was against Gandalf's idea of making allies, because she was scared to say hello then to shortly say goodbye again and make a broken promise, she knew how that felt like, it still followed her through her life and she didn't want other people to feel like that. The other reason was because she didn't trust anyone no more. Her trust was taken and never grew back, like dead grass...
Bo quickly looked up hearing Ori burp and the others laughed at his triumph! She gave a ghost of a smile but her appotiate was lost and so was her world. Feeling her anger build within and tears form in her eyes, she stood up and rushed off, she could feel many eyes on her but she didn't want them to see the weak side of her. Not now. Not ever.
Standing outside, she let out a heavy sigh. She felt her chest tighten every breath she took. She was wearing dark, unflattening clothes: breeches and a simple shirt, black light boots and a dark cloak with a paw pin locked within the material so it wouldn't fall off.
Staring at the moon, her tears were visible in her black eyes, the question of how long she could keep hiding was becoming impossible. Hiding her emotions was getting harder, at times she wanted to run away where she could be free to scream, cry and shout but the only place was in her mind. Lies she had to keep up with, at the beginning she found it hard but now it was second nature, as she grew used to the harsh wild life of Middle Earth, she had grown use of lieing to people and keeping herself to herself; burdening herself with the past and unwanted feelings.
Tearing her gaze away from the moon, Bo stared ahead and saw the small village of Hobbington. It looked so beautiful at night, the moon being the main source of light but there were lamps lighting the homes of the small, quiet creatures, making the place look innocent and precious. It was what Hobbits called home. Not dwarves. Nor elves and certainly not Bo. Home is where the heart lies. Is what the saying goes, but Bo didn't know where her heart laid. She was stuck in the past, seeing the world through her child's eyes, seeing every creature as equal, her home full of love, warmth and comfort and no thoughts of a nightmare that came like a hurricane; ruining not just her life but a whole species!
A specie full of evil and hatred, nothing more and nothing less. Creatures which hate the world and they turned their back on everyone, only to kill and seek revenge they set their eyes upon the world again; to make others' lives hell. Blood marked their hands, never to leave their skin like their killings never leave their victim's loved ones as they had watched the horror or heard the news and knowing they weren't going to come back.
Bo was talking about orcs. She had more hate for them than anyone! She seeked for revenge for her family and friends. She had lost so many at a young age. Her world was turned upside down within seconds! The tragic event burned in her mind, making her wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweat as she saw her mother's face before turning to leave and never to return, the empty promise to a loved one of 'everything is going to be ok and I'll be back when things are calm.' A sentence full of empty simple words, ones Bo couldn't erase nor the screams and yells of her people as the orcs demolish them, except for one. Except for Bo.
"Bo..." Gandalf called, his voice soft knowing he had to be careful.
Bo stayed where she was. Lost in thought. Tears ran down her cheeks as the memory of her people erupted before her. All was gained to be lost. Nature took their homeland after years of the battle, covering up the ruins of houses, decaying bodies but nothing could get rid of that event. Fire surrounded the site, along with smoke the sky was full of terror and prayers which were not heard by the gods. Swords clashing against each other shot through the deafening noise. Growls of hungry orcs and their wargs, ready to fight and dig in, to fill themselves with blood and food! Hell was it was but a living nightmare which stayed with Bo...
"Bo?" Gandalf said again as he stood next to his apprentice. Seeing the young woman's eyes lower he let out a sigh knowing what just happened. "How long have you been having these...thoughts?"
Bo adverted his gaze. Ashamed. She had always thought she was tough and seeking revenge was going to be easy but both turned out not to be true. In a fight eight out of ten times she would win but that was no match against so many or in a war. Revenge was what she drove on before meeting Gandalf, of course that was the thing she intended to do but there was a lot to learn and to explore. She learnt that mistake before, she had killed several orcs before but she was also caught and held captive before she escaped.
"They come and go." Bo replied. "I'm sorry for leaving the table but I didn't want anyone to see my weakness. It's just strange seeing them, I see we are not that different yet we are not completely the same. They have each other. They haven't lost all their families and friends, just a homeland and a king, which can be easily be restored...well easier than bringing back the dead." Bo grew quiet, she wiped her face and stared back in front of her. "They have their tale and I have mine. We're all different with our own stories to tell. Our home we sing, friends and family we talk to and have a drink with, and our adventures live inside us. Yet the home we remember won't be the same as it stands. People come and go, leave or die, soon it is just memories left and ghost that surround us. We won't have people who remember the same things as you do or won't laugh at the same memory...all things must past but life seems too precious to say good bye too, people are scared of dying because they won't be able to see their loved ones again or see the beauty of Middle Earth and breathe the free air. Yet if someone guided us through the darkness to see what's beyond its territory then I think we wouldn't be as scared."
Gandalf stared at Bo, he was always worried when he heard her speak like this but he knew she needed to get things off her chest. They all needed too. He found truth in her words. She was alone. Of course she had Gandalf and now the company of dwarves and hopefully Bilbo but none of them would account to of her own. She had no one to talk to about the past, things she remembered of being a young age, the things she learnt growing up and people she met, she had to keep the memory hidden and the questions unanswered. Unlike the dwarves, they had each other, to talk about the past, to talk about family and the days they remember to drink to forget certain times and laugh at jokes they used to share; whole different world.
Bo felt Gandalf's gaze upon her but she couldn't look at in his eyes. In to his blue-grey eyes, ones which held thought and concern. Silence was the only thing they heard, the dwarves seemed to be quiet or the walls of the hole were thicker than Bo thought. A few seconds passed before Bo lowered her eyes, wishing Gandalf would say something.
"Home. It seems different to each creature I assume." Bo stated breaking the silence. "The wild has become my home. Everything I was used too disappeared and erased from my mind. I forgot how safe you could feel when a roof is over your head and there is a door to close behind you. I forgot how welcome a fire is when its already burning to keep the house feel so…homely. I forgot how your troubles wash away when with family and friends." Bo stopped feeling her anger build up. She kicked a stone instead of punching something. "I want those orcs to pay on what they did, is that so much to ask for?"
"These are dangerous times I'm afraid Bo." Gandalf stated softly. "Your actions will count against you and that we don't need. We need you on our side and to be safe. I know it's hard but I promised you, you will get your chance of getting revenge but there is a shuttle way to do things…."
Bo stared at the wizard understanding what he meant but that weren't the answer she needed. However opening her mouth to speak, she heard the door close bringing her attention to it. She guessed someone was listening to her conversation but who it was the trickier answer.
"Bo, I will sort it out." Gandalf said. "Just stay out here until you feel better."
Bo let out a sigh but did what she was told. She had lived on her own for years, she was used to danger, the wild and unexpected dangers but she still listened to Gandalf as she knew she had a lot to learn, yet she knew there was another reason she obeyed to his orders, she was scared of her secret coming out….
Freedom she will never have. Though it looked like she may had it but she never felt it. She was locked within, looked down upon and an outsider, things she didn't want to be but grew to be, everyday becoming a challenge. Mountains she had to climb and found its secrets. Hills she stood on top of and saw what Middle Earth had to offer. Rivers and lakes she swam and saw what it could offer. Forests she hid within, climbed its trees and followed its tracks unaware what neighbours she had.
Being alone she had grew accustomed to her own company. The silence being the only sound. The darkness being her only shelter. Yet at the same time she tried to keep what was within hidden, her looks were distinctive what with her big black eyes, her pale skin, her ears sharp and her nose narrow, but at times she could keep those hidden and pretend to be normal.
"They don't know what it is like to be alone, drowning in deep thoughts." Bo stated quietly to herself.
"You be surprised."
Bo heard someone say, making her jump and turn her head to see Balin standing nearby. Bo rolled her eyes and turned to stare at the village below.
"What you see is what we want you to see." He stated. "Yes we are family and love each other's company but we got own story to tell. At times I love my own company as I can think clearly and can think of possibilities. But I know others think of home and of their families which they left to take back what they used to have." He stopped and stood next to Bo. "I heard what you said to Gandalf…I'm sorry what you have been through lass. Truly. Yet we are different of what we've lost and what we look like but we have the same goal, to take back our home land and to feel free. That is what keeps us going lass, though it may not seem likely but it's a massive thing to us and our honour."
Bo lowered her eyes before meeting the dwarf's eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not use of having company and not a large one in fact. At times I forget where I am and think of myself. Old habits die old I guess."
"Come on lass, let's get back inside before they start noticing we've gone." Balin suggested softly and gestured to the door with his hand.
Bo smiled and thanked him for being understanding before following him inside. At the door she glanced to the sky once more and felt a bit of weight which was loaded upon her shoulders flutter away for the time being. She was glad she could talk to someone about her feelings and troubles.
