Chapter Two: Just a Burden

The sky was turning auburn. The two teens, who were exhausted already, trudged through the seemingly never-ending path of trees. What was even better was the fact that the location of the remedy was off course from her house. Does the world just not want her to get home? "I know you said you didn't find food that could be eaten alone back at that cabin, but-"

Raven shook her head. "It was sort of the truth. I mean green beans without any kind of bread? Torture." She handed a can to Carl. He was a bit confused when he accepted it. "I secretly left some food with Michonne. I figured she'd understand why I couldn't tell you I had food. Your dad on the other hand, he seems about ready to bite my head off."

Carl poured some beans into her hand and some into his mouth. "He's not as bad as he seems. He always needs to be over-protective."

"Yeah, I know how the role of a 'dad' works. I used to have one too." She was surprised at how lightly she was able to say that. She popped the beans into her mouth.

His eyes meant apology. "He was the leader at our old group. Playing it the safest way is his specialty."

"I see. I'm sure whatever happened back there wasn't his fault." Carl nodded in agreement. "So I hope he's not blaming himself for it." A voice in her mind was yelling hypocrite to her words. She's blamed herself for deaths, which she still hasn't gotten over.

Carl's blue eyes were hidden behind his hat. "I think my dad's just really on edge 'cause we lost my sister." She thought she heard his voice trembled a little.

Shit. Way to go, Raven. You always end up hurting someone, don't you? She tried putting some comforting words together in her head. "Carl…"

A sudden crackling of leaves bring her thoughts to a halt. She put her arm out to stop Carl. She soundlessly pulled him behind a bush. They stared all around, waiting for something to pop up. She pulled out her blades and he took out his gun. She heard faint voices, not exactly growls. Carl heard it too and gave a single nod in its direction. Raven slowly shook her head, hoping that he would see that she advised him not to make contact with them,

He seemed torn between what to do. She tugged him onwards, not wasting any more time getting the herbs. Her heart skipped a beat with surprise as Carl said aloud. "Daryl?" Raven whirled on him with a furious look. He mouthed the words calm down, which didn't change her expression.

A pretty blonde and a guy with a crossbow were staring at Carl with disbelief. The guy had a crooked smile. "Son of a bitch…"

Carl stepped around the bushes. The girl embraced him tightly, making Raven turn away in awkwardness. "You're okay." Her voice was muffled into his shirt. Raven peeked and saw them still hugging. Guess he's already taken. She felt deflated, but not devastated; boys weren't really her thing anyways. She thought guys were nice to look at, but never felt the warmth of anyone's arms like that. Wow, she must be lonelier than she thought. When the girl finally let go, she asked him, "Is Rick with you?"

He nodded, but didn't grin. "And Michonne. They're resting under this cliff we found." He jabbed a thumb in its direction. "They ate some poisonous flowers, so we were on our way to finding medical herbs."

"We?" She repeated. Raven rolled her eyes. Had she really not noticed a drop-dead gorgeous woman standing there? Her eyes met Raven's. "Oh…"

"This is Raven. She saved us from a group of bandits a few hours ago." Then he spoke to Raven. "And this is Daryl and Beth. They were part of the prison's group." Daryl gave one of those badass head nods while Beth smiled.

"Hi." Raven said flatly. She didn't want to sound rude, it's just that now the group may be extended another two members. Another two mouths to feed and another four legs to carry. "Sorry, I know you guys wanna catch up on your lives and stuff, but we still need to fetch those remedies…like now." They nodded, looking a little anxious. "Carl, take Daryl back to Rick and Michonne. Beth can come with me to find the herbs."

He seemed a little worried about leaving her with Beth. Actually, most likely the other way around. "Wouldn't it be better if we all went together?"

"We're taking too long. I need you to make sure they're okay. If they get a fever, use these." She tossed an almost empty bottle of painkillers at Carl. It rattled in his hands. "Don't hate me for not leaving it with them; it's my last pair of pills." Raven motioned for Beth to come after her. When Raven turned away, Carl looked like he had something to say, but they were already on the move.

Raven moved with a fast pace for two reasons; they needed to find the herbs quickly and it was funny seeing Beth trying to keep up with her. Raven ducked the thick branches and vines swiftly, but Beth had to swat everything out of the way. "Do you know what devil daisies are?" Raven asked the girl.

"Um…the flowers that cause itchy skin?" She guessed in between pants.

She was sort of right. "Yeah, but used in the correct way, it rids migraines. It should help ease the belladonna poison because it mainly affects the blood vessel areas." She glanced at Beth. "What do you think?" She was so far that she didn't here that last part. "We're almost there. You can sort of smell it now." She said a little louder. They don't exactly have a wonderful scent, but it's better than smelling dead bodies.

Raven caught sight of the red flowers ingrained on the ground. She sighed with relief; there should be enough to cover the illness. "Are those it?" Beth asked as she gladly stopped moving.

"You bet. Pull the whole root out; we need as much nutrients as we can get." Raven instructed. Both girls pulled out all five flowers carefully, not wanting to waste anything. Raven clapped her hands to get rid of the soil. Mission accomplished. "Alright, let's get moving." She power-walked once again. They were silent as they navigated around the trees. She was exhausted from everything that happened today, which should be understandable to anyone; travelling extra miles, killing some people, carrying looted supplies. She gave up on walking fast and Beth caught up to her. To fill the silence, she asked about something that was itching around her mind. "So are you and Carl, like…you know?"

Beth smiled with embarrassment, "No no no, we've just known each other for a really long time. Besides, I'm five years older than him, he's almost like a brother to me." Raven nodded, but felt some sort of ecstasy inside.

"And you're how old? Eighteen? Nineteen?" Raven asked as casually as possible.

"I should be turning twenty soon." Beth replied. Raven made the silent ahh motion with her head. So Carl was her age. That's good news. She just hoped that Carl didn't think she was younger. She'd always been 'vertically' challenged. With her height, someone could've easily thought she was twelve. "You know you're a really beautiful girl."

Raven looked at her, stunned. No one had ever called her beautiful, except for her parents. But that's kind of their job. She'd hoped that the first one to call her beautiful would be a guy, but people can't be picky. "Thank you, Beth." She felt a kick in the gut for being jealous of her before.

Beth suddenly grinned to herself and tried to hide it from her. Raven, very curious to know, inched closer. "What?"

She still beat around the bush. "Don't worry about it." She gave a knowing wink at Raven. Well now she knows. At least, if Raven needed someone to talk to, she had her.

Raven smiled back at her. It was nice to be around another girl. It was rare for her to make contact with humans nowadays, even more so, being able to converse with them. "We're almost there."


Finally, Raven spotted the small cliff up ahead. The two, tied walkers were swaying by the trees. She and Beth hurried all the way down to them. Carl, Daryl, Rick and Michonne were all there. Carl's tone sounded urgent. "Did you find it?" Raven and Beth showed him the daisies as a reply.

Raven knelt in between Rick and Michonne, who were lying down, making little movement. She pressed the back of her hand to their foreheads and was surprised at the warm temperature; she would've thought they'd be burning up by now. "You used the pills?" She said to Carl with her head half turned.

He sounded guilty. "I'm sorry, their temperatures were getting out of control-"

"I didn't give them to you for nothing. It's okay." Raven said to plug up his guilt. Looking into those worried, blue eyes was becoming too much. She said to Rick and Michonne, "Normally this would taste better as tea, but we're obviously running a tight schedule." She divided the amount of flowers in each of their hands. Both of them had their eyelids nearly closed and seemed to have no more strength. So Raven helped them crush the petals and stem and fed it to them. Rick managed to choke it down, but Michonne almost spit back everything. Raven stopped her. "You have to swallow, Michonne." She looked as if she was going to rip Raven's hair off, but she did as told. She looked at Beth, Daryl and Carl with content eyes. "They'll be fine in time."

Beth and Carl offered to help Rick and Michonne drink some water. Meanwhile, Daryl and Raven sat outside for some fresh air. She was studying him secretly as he was spinning an arrow around his hand. She hadn't seen anyone that could use a crossbow before. Raven spoke out first. "How do you manage to survive with only ten arrows?"

He shrugged as if it were the simplest thing. "Usually I reuse the arrows when I shoot. But I'm a good shot with a gun and knives are another option." Raven acknowledged his combat skills. Using arrows is convenient if you want to avoid noise. Carl's gun had a silencer on it. Those things are hard to come by. "You ever used one before?"

Raven had to dig through her memories of the pre-apocalypse era. "I've used a regular bow and arrow before." She laughed a little and lay back against the stone. "And boy was I good at it. My gym teacher thought she knew what she was doing and was shooting arrows everywhere but near the bull's eye. So I shot it from thirty feet away and got it for her. Embarrassed her in front of the whole class." She had pretty good memories of school. But then she remembered those awkward middle school years and shuddered. At least she got a taste of high school before this all started.

Daryl snorted. "I can't recall the last day of school but I'm pretty sure it ended something along the lines of me saying to my chemistry teacher 'you remind me of my small toe, 'cause I'd bang you on a coffee table'." Raven's jaw dropped at first, and then she burst out laughing. He was chuckling a bit too. "I wasn't exactly expelled, but the face she had when I said that was too damn terrifying to look at ever again. Maybe that's why looking at walkers is easy for me."

She forced herself to push back the laughter. "Badass then, badass now, right?"

"Exactly." He said putting his arrow back into its slot. These people were easy to talk to. Maybe they could live with her after all. She thinks they passed the survivor's test. Raven closed her eyes from the darkening skies. It was nice to taste humanity again.


Gone. Every single thing was gone when she had woken up. Raven scrambled inside the cave for anything. But there were no weapons or food in sight. Her back pack and duffle bag were long gone. She punched the wall in frustration, sending jitters up her arm. Raven examined her bloody knuckles, sprinkled with small pebbles.

She was a fool to think anyone could ever care for her. Everyone who had loved her was dead. The world is a bitter place. She was taught to trust no one when she was young and now she learned the hard way. Raven was left alone; hungry and defenseless. Her panicked breaths were followed up by teary eyes.

Over her hitched breathing, she heard growling fairly close. She reached for her duel blades and found nothing. Of fucking course. The zombies had already caught her scent. A couple of them were cornering her to the stone wall.

No. She wasn't going down like this. Raven blinked her blurred vision away and felt hot tears squeeze out from her eyes. The first walker that lunged at her was kicked in the stomach and smashed to the wall. Another snapped its teeth at Raven's face, just late enough to miss. Raven kicked its head to the wall, squashing it like a dropped watermelon.

Hissing rang in her left ear. She whirled but was pushed against the wall by a large walker. Its mouth engulfed over her shoulder. Before it bit down, she gripped its head and fought to keep it up. Her muscles were screaming to its limits. The walker's skull cap cracked and began to tear open. Before she could even breath, she felt it's teeth sink into her shoulder. Its overwhelming pain made her release her grip, allowing it to sink even deeper. Tears, walker blood, her blood- whatever was all over her face, blocked her vision.

Snap out of it!

"Raven!" Raven didn't open her eyes. She didn't want to see the opaque, bloodthirsty eyes again. She tried yanking her wrists from the zombie's grasp. "It's me. It's okay." He said.

It's Carl. Her tightly shut eyes opened slowly. The only thing she could feel was relief. Relief that he was there. Relief that she was alive. And somehow her arms were around his neck. Everything felt all fuzzy to her. Was it day or night? She was staring at a black sky, but was still unsure.

"You're still here." Raven said gladly into the crevice of his neck and shoulder. She felt something wrap around her waist. It was warm and comforting, feelings she hadn't felt in forever. Though she couldn't see anything but black, she enjoyed the warmth.

Raven felt small rumbles from Carl's chest and listened to faint sounds of laughing. "I'm still here." The soothing warm touch stroked her back gently.

I'm still here…


Raven's heart rate double as her eyes shot open. She had fallen off a rock and was sprawled out on the ground. She groaned and rubbed her aching back. Sleeping on stone felt more uncomfortable than having casual conversations with adults. There was a jean jacket by her side. She must have knocked it over when she fell. That explains why she was getting a colder. Whose is this? She wondered to herself.

"Morning." She heard Carl greet as he approached her.

Raven rubbed her still-sleepy, green eyes. "Morning." She greeted back. She stretched out her cramped arms and felt breeze flow into her hoodie's sleeve. Shivering, she snuggled back into the warm jacket, like a turtle.

Raven heard Carl's light tone say, "When you're ready, we have some beans and soup for breakfast." She tried to say something, but her mouth muscles were completely shut down. She nodded and hoped he saw it.

After another ten minutes of resting, she ripped herself from the grasp of the earth. They were still by the cliff-cave and the sun was on the rise. I guess I just knocked out, huh. Well, at least she got a good rest. She spotted Beth and Carl eating breakfast together under the cliff. Raven plucked the jacket up and went to join them. As she opened a can of green beans (ugh), she asked them, "How's Rick and Michonne?"

Beth answered, "A lot better. They're out with Daryl looking for some food and stuff." She nodded and was glad to hear that they recovered.

Carl added, "And also they're looking for any of our group members." Raven's eyebrow rose at that. "When it was just me, Michonne and dad, we searched around three times a day. Obviously, we had no luck though."

Raven's lips thinned and she put her can down. She didn't know how much longer she could keep this up. Perhaps she should just let them go. They have a larger number now and they're capable of surviving. If her group got bigger now, she wouldn't be able to protect them all. And she couldn't bear seeing another death…

Carl noticed her deep in thought. "Something wrong?" Raven exhaled loudly and shrugged it off. "Are you still thinking about your dream?"

She looked at him with confusion. "What?"

He stared at her for a long time. Raven really didn't know what he was talking about. She very faintly remembered seeing something last night, maybe, but she never told him about it…had she? "Never mind." He said leaning back against the wall. His face looked a little twisted with emotions.

He was only wearing a blue t-shirt. In this 40 degrees weather, he must be feeling a little chilly. Then Raven paused to think. She held up the jean jacket. "This is yours, isn't it?" He nodded and reached for it. "Thanks." She said as she passed it over.

"It's not exactly the fluffiest blanket, but it does the job." He put his arms through the sleeves and fixed the collar. She watched him button it up and noticed how interesting he looked. The indent of his collarbone was deep. His biceps were small, but they were visible. He was about as strong as he seems. She wondered how it must feel to be held in those arms…

"How far is your place from here?" Beth said to her. Raven turned her head in her direction, but her eyes were still fixed on Carl. "Raven?"

"Hmm?" She said, finally giving her full attention. "Oh, less than an hour walk." After being snapped into reality, she noticed that her beans were still not finished. She gulped them down and headed outside.

Raven sat alone outside and just watched the trees swing back and forth. There was some chirping amongst the branches. She was used to staring into the world by herself. It didn't bother her; it just gave her a peaceful mind set. Otherwise, she would have gone completely berserk by now. It takes a glimpse of beauty to keep one humane these days. Of course it would be a little more beautiful if there weren't two armless, mouthless zombies groaning in the scene.

Soon she saw three figures coming down a hill from her left. Rick, Michonne and Daryl were back, but with no one else. Raven was angry at herself for the happiness that flooded into her. She crossed one leg over the other as they approached. She kept her voice in a disappointed tone. "No luck, huh?" Rick shook his head, but wasn't showing any sad emotion. He was used to ending up with nothing. "At least you two are on your feet again." She offered a small, optimistic smile.

Rick and Michonne smiled a little in return as well. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have seen daylight again." Rick said sincerely. Gratitude was something she hadn't really received in a long time, besides when she saved them yesterday. "Thank you."

"My pleasure." Raven said. Carl and Beth joined the group outside.

Rick rubbed his stubbled chin and Raven knew he was figuring out what he wanted to say. "I know you were reluctant to take us in yesterday. I know it seems like we're weighing you down after last night." Oh no. Not this. She still hadn't decided if she would take them all in or not. But judging by their closeness, it was either all of them or none of them. "Beth is experienced with medication. Her father was able to take a bullet out of my son's chest." Carl looked away in shame and remembrance. "Daryl is a fine hunter. He brings in meat every other day. We're all capable of helping out in some way. We just need a stable shelter-"

"Okay."

Everyone around Raven was stunned. It was clear that they were worried she wouldn't take them in. Even Raven was shocked at her own words. What caused her to blurt it out like that? Was it the thought of being alone again? She wasn't sure, but she wanted to be around people again. For many months, she feared that everyone would turn into people like the ones back at the cabin. For all she knew these five people could turn out the same way. But she didn't care. She was tired of being lonely.

Beth reached out and hugged her neck. Surprised, it took Raven a second before returning it. In between happy whimpers, she said, "Thank you." It must have been horrible out there for her to be this grateful.

After gathering all of their belongings, they set out for Raven's home. Raven reluctantly had to lead the way alone, with the group trailing behind. She wished she could walk with them, ask them about their lives, and talk about what they like. Just be patient. They'll be living with you from now on, after all. She ventured on, listening to the cicadas' chirps and the crunching of the leaves under their feet.

She passed the big willow that indicated that they were almost there. Raven informed the group and they seemed pleased to hear it. After passing a bunch of more trees, she came across her clearing. In the middle of the clearing was her house.

The group stared at it with awe. It was nearly twice the size of a normal house and yet it was unscathed. Raven presented the house. "Home sweet home. It's been my home for all my life." Since they were already here, Raven killed off the two walkers they kept.

Carl was grinning without even knowing it. "How do you manage to keep it safe?"

She shrugged. "If you walk a little further down, it leads to a mountain. So basically this is the edge of the forest. Plus those fences are impenetrable by walkers. It'd probably take a hundred of them to do some damage." The iron fence was built thirty feet from all sides of the house. They approached the large gate, which had two S's carved into it.

Daryl poked at an S. "What's the S for?"

Raven's smile faltered. She couldn't really remember. For a minute she began to panic. Finally she it came back. "Shiva. My last name." This apocalypse had done more damage to her than she'd originally thought. If it weren't for that question, she would have lost her own identity.

Rick and Michonne were running their fingers on the fence. Michonne nodded, impressed. "This is pretty sturdy. It definitely wasn't cheap iron."

Raven unlocked the gates with two keys. It swung open and creaked softly. "Come on in, I have someone to show you."

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Hey ya'll. Sorry if I've been using too many line breaks. The second I figured out how to use it, I just abused the poor thing! I actually wrote this chapter a long time ago. I thought about uploading last night, but it seemed a little late. Well, hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you're liking it so far! Also let me know what you think about the season 4 finale! (beware spoilers and plzz no comic book spoilers) ;)

~Beanie Wayland

P.S. SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 FINALE...

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Okay. What the heck. My poor baby Carl :O But anyways that finale was great. I was wondering how they would end this season, but make it different from the other finales. Did anyone feel the pang in their chest when you saw Beth in the flashback? :'( But Terminus doe... I knew they were psychos. I just hope everyone makes it out okay, but we all know Robert Kirkman isn't that generous. Time to wait six months for the next season!