Chapter 2. This is my life? What the Hell happened?

Mike enjoyed the occasional chaotic day as much as any other guy, routine was fine but it could get monotonous after a while. I was nice to have a bit of wild fun, even if it resulted in a bit of a cleanup job afterwards. That was how Mike viewed life for most of his own.

And then he gathered these fucktards, and he learned about controlled chaos.

He knew that, after a bit of help from him, they were good people deep down. Maul, after Mike assisted with getting him a pair of fully flesh and blood legs to replace his cybernetic ones, had really livened up and come out. His brother was more than happy to follow when the nightsister magic had been broken, Mike wasn't formally trained but he was skilled and creative. Aurra had required a few run-ins with Mike and his then small crew to start working with them, and a good deal of makeshift counseling to become stable. Asajj needed some of that counseling as well but she was willing after they negotiated. Dooku was one of the easier ones to sway, once Mike revealed Palpatine's history and helped plant doubt in the count's mind. Ronderu was another easy one, having been saved by Mike's mentor and brought back to full health. Grievous was the easiest, since Mike had both Ronderu and the schematics to Grievous's cybernetics.

This brought us to today, Grievous, who like Maul had been de-cyberized, though his was through a combination of specially cloned body and force based consciousness transfer, had gotten together with Ronderu romantically and formed the team's power duo. Savage and Aurra were much the same but with way more PDA after missions. Maul and Asajj were both single, since they were homosexuals and each was quite perverse, but were able to get laid on a fairly regular basis. Dooku and Boba were the odd men out. Boba was always looking to get a bit of action but somehow managed to fail spectacularly every time, which provided the rest of the team no shortage of amusement. Dooku occupied himself with smashball and plotting Palpatine's demise, sometimes at the same time.

But in regards to today specifically, that was where the controlled chaos started. The largest area of the ship had been renovated into a massive rec room. The first level had a massive track that was only ever used for kart racing, and an enormous pool with neighboring hot tub. The second level was dominated by a series of cookout and lounge areas, all meant to overlook the first level in a spectator fashion. The most notable thing about the second level was the suspended trampoline, positioned right over the pool. For obvious reasons it was closed whenever alcohol was consumed. The third level had the movie set-up, seats that allowed for a perfect view of the massive screen that dominated an entire wall of the rec room. A screen two hundred feet high and three-fifty wide with a surround sound system like no other made movie nights on this ship better than anywhere else in the galaxy. And finally, the fourth level, which was equipped with large gaming areas, surrounded by soundproof walls and smaller, personal movie rooms. If Mike couldn't be found anywhere on the ship, then it was safe to assume that he was in one of those sections.

Mike found his team all hard at work when he arrived. Maul, Savage, and Dooku were racing around the track, Aurra was lounging in the hot tub cheering Savage on whenever he was close and holding his saberstaff to fend off Asajj, who was lurking nearby watching Aurra intently. Grievous was up in the second level, making Ronderu something to eat. Boba was providing a challenge to the racers by flying around with his jetpack shooting concussion rockets at the racers. When said racers got close Mike he noted that while Maul and Savage were dressed fairly normally Dooku was drinking from a beverage hat, wearing sunglasses, and had a large foam finger on his right hand.

Mike, to his credit, didn't simply stare at the madness surrounding him. He regarded it for a moment, and then had the realization.

"That's right, it is Tuesday."

Just then Mike's wrist console beeped. Apparently so did everyone else's since the racers all crashed, Boba stopped shooting at them, Asajj stopped perving, and a small bang was heard from where Grievous had been cooking. Mike saw the message and smiled, a new mission had been sent to the team's inbox. Thumbing through it while the rest of the team converged on his location, Asajj tailing Aurra for less than noble reasons, Mike began to think about who would be best suited for this one. (This is where we get into the events of the show.) A contact in the separatist forces had passed information to both Boba and a few planets in the Phu system concerning a massive separatist ship hanging around. When the ship was described to Dooku he admitted to knowing its identity, the Malevolence. A subjugator class heavy cruiser that was supposed to be equipped with massive ion cannons. The Republic had apparently lost a few ships already, and the planets of the Phu system were quite concerned despite their sparse population.

Mike pondered this information. Destroying the ship would be the easiest option, but capturing it could be quite useful. They would of course take some of the more valuable components, this ship could always do with a bit more kick behind it, but if the Republic received an 'anonymous' donation of such a massive ship then it could score some impressive brownie points with them. He decided, they would capture the ship, take the most useful pieces to incorporate into the Madhouse, sell off anything they didn't want, get a nice fat payment from the Phu system, and deliver the rest of the ship to the Jedi.

Mike looked at the team, and realized that he would need everyone to pull this off. In his mind he saw the plan unfold, working backwards from what his intended goal was and identifying what needed to happen for it to work. When he was finished he looked at the team, noting Dooku's expression. Dooku knew that whatever his plan was, Mike could make it work.

Thirty minutes later found the Madhouse in the Phu system. The Malevolence lurking like some abominable space beast near one of the stars. Mike gathered the team into the drop ship and made his way towards the massive cruiser. One of the additional features of Mike's ships were the advanced stealth drives, a bit of plunder from the separatists a few raids ago. But as it was the group made their way towards the Malevolence and quietly entered an open hanger. When they departed Mike turned to the team.

"Sync you Cronos, get to your places, and do your jobs. And everyone…" They all looked at him. "Be careful." With that the groups split up.

Maul and Dooku made their way to engineering, Boba and Aurra headed for the bridge, Mike, Ronderu, Savage, and Asajj gave each other a nod and paired off. About two minutes after they all left, their dropship departed. The auto pilot putting it on a course back to the Madhouse.

Mike and Ronderu were searching for the largest collection of droids that they could, Savage and Asajj doing the same. While they were at it each pair struck up conversation.

"So, has Grievous mentioned to you when he's finally going to propose?" Ronderu asked.

"No, he only says that he wants the moment to be perfect. He still thinks you don't know." Mike answered.

"I know. He's not very good at hiding things from me." Ronderu replied.

"Don't you think it's a bit cruel to lead him on like this?" Mike asked, straining his ears.

"No. I fully intend to say yes when he asks, it's just really amusing to watch him try to be furtive about it." Ronderu replied. Mike couldn't see her face very well behind her mask, but he could tell she was grinning.

"That is just so cruel to my boy G. Nicely done." Mike congratulated her.

With Savage and Asajj, the conversation was of a very different nature.

"Yes Asajj, I'm very sure that Aurra wouldn't want to sleep with you. No matter how drunk she was." Savage growled out. He did wish his friend could get some for herself, but not with his girlfriend.

"Hey don't get mad at me. I have a dwindling number of options here." Asajj tried to defend herself.

"Ever thought about not molesting clients or not getting banned from planets? You might get a stable relationship that way." Savage sarcastically suggested.

"Stable relationship? I'm not after a girlfriend Savage. I'm just looking for someone to sleep with from time to time. Romance is strictly a no-go here." Asajj said. Savage fixed her with a blank look that basically read 'I am like 500% done with this shit'.

Then, he heard a noise. The clanking of incoming droids. Mike and Ronderu heard the same noise and prepared. Both pairs leapt at the incoming droids, the focus clear in their minds. In each team's case there was one droid that managed to get the call up to the bridge requesting reinforcements. At the door of the bridge Boba and Aurra looked at each other, then to their wrist consoles. They each pressed a button, causing one of the yellow lights to change to green.

Mike noticed his console change to reflect this, he and Ronderu shared a look and prepared for the onslaught. Sure enough, from up ahead a small army of droids approached. Mike pulled his lightsabers out, each having been made by the guidance of Dooku. And began to casually deflect the bolts while slowly retreating, Ronderu ensuring that no droids attempted to attack from his rear.

Mike and Ronderu made it back to the hanger along with Savage and Asajj, each pair brining a large number of droids on their tails. A box rested where the dropship had departed, and from it a blue energy shield emerged. Ronderu, having no real means of blaster bolt deflection, entered it. Mike, Savage, and Asajj all stood with their backs entering the shield deflecting bolts. They wanted to make sure that the shield lasted as long it could, and keeping it from getting hit as much as possible was needed. The only reason it was there became clear not long after this.

"Well well, this is a surprise." A voice said from over the intercom. The four looked up, the droids having ceased fire, and noted a dark acolyte. A fallen Jedi, whose name none of them knew or cared to know. "Not many mercenaries are stupid enough to try and pull an assault like this with only four people. Even if one of them is you Ventress."

"You have a point there. But there's a few things you're wrong about." Mike spoke up.

"Like what boy." The dark acolyte said with a sneer.

"One, it isnt' just us four. And two, we aren't the important ones here." Mike explained.

"You mean those two near the bridge? They'll die soon enough too." The dark acolyte said.

"Well yeah, those two. But you forgot the old man, and the gay zabrak." Mike watched in satisfaction as the acolyte's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, almost missing the loose ship piece Mike had force thrown into the transparasteel window separating the two.

"Nice try boy, but not even a jedi padawan would fall for such a simple trick." The acolyte shouted down, missing Mike hitting a button on his console.

"That wasn't the trick. This is." Mike, Ronderu, Savage, and Asajj all shot a grapple cable from their wrist consoles and hunkered under the shield as it changed texture. The acolyte realized the small shield was now functioning like those shields that separated the hanger from the vacuum of space. He then felt a strange weightlessness overtake him, and realized that he was leaving the ground against his will.

The droids were doing the same, arms flailing as they tried to find some semblance of rightness. A clang near the hangar opening drew the acolyte's eyes, and they widened in terror. Those barriers keeping the air in the hanger were about to shut off. They winked out of existence and the acolyte didn't even have time to plead as he and every droid in the hanger was sucked out into the hard vacuum. The acolyte drew upon the force as hard as he could, trying to get to one of the ships and from there get to safety. But the nearest ship exploded, then the next, and the next. The acolyte then spotted the dropship he had seen leave, the one sensors indicated had done so on auto pilot. In the seat of the dropship sat Grievous, who fired upon the tumbling ships with extreme prejudice.

Up at the bridge Aurra and Boba entered and began to fire upon those inside as they too experienced the absence of gravity. When they were done they hit another button, and another yellow light turned green. Mike saw this and did the same, and over in engineering Maul reactivated the artificial gravity while Dooku reclosed the hanger shields.

"Alright guys, tell me we still have everyone." Mike said into his comm.

"I'm good, Boba's having a blast up here." Aurra's voice came through, accompanied by blaster shots and the faint cackling of the young bounty hunter.

"We're fine up here, apparently Maul had the forethought to bring something to read." Dooku said, causing the rest of the team to just shake their heads at Maul's antics.

"I'm good, just cleaning up out here." Grievous said, now leaving about a long string of small EMP charges to take care of the remaining droids.

"Alright, Maul stow your porn and start seeing what we can transplant into the Madhouse. Disable any weapons this ship has while you're at it. Aurra, you and Boba stay put. We don't need anything still on board trying to fly this thing out of here. G man get back to the ship and start prepping the tow cables, we'll start tearing into the Malevolence back at the home base. You guys…" Mike said, looking at the three with him. "We'll sweep the ship. Take out any enemy forces. When we're done meet up at the bridge." Mike said, getting nods from everyone.

"Hey boss." Boba's voice spoke out over the comms.

"What is it Boba?" Mike asked.

"We got a Republic ship inbound. We need to move." Boba informed the team.

"Shit. G man, get the ship back to base. Maul, make sure the hyperdrive is good. Boba, set a course for home." Mike ordered, the team moving to carry out the escape. He had expected a Republic response, but not this soon.

It took a few minutes to get everything set up, but just as the Republic ship carrying Jedi Master Plo Koon exited Hyperspace the Malevolence began to enter it. The Kel dor Jedi took note of both the massive cruiser and the smaller Madhouse departing in the same direction.

"General. What happened?" One of the clones asked.

"I do not know, perhaps they were expecting us. But why flee instead of fight?" The somewhat muffled response did more to raise concerns about the ship than it did to reduce them.

Less than a week later an emergency Jedi Council meeting was called, concerning a very interesting donation. A rather large, and in Plo Koon's case memorable, ship. It was missing its hyperdrive and a good portion of its engine. But its hull and schematics were all there, including the little bit about the massive ion cannons the ship was equipped with.

Master Yoda was deeply confused by this, a sentiment shared by his fellow masters. But when the technicians found a recorded device labeled 'For Yoda' the Council gathered to listen to it. The Holo-message was one of a young man, in his twenties at most, and with a very cocky air to him.

"Hello Jedi Masters, If you're listening to this then you received my team's little contribution to your war efforts. Rest assured, we aren't Separatists. But we aren't Republic either. We're…Independents. We oppose the Separatists and their Sith puppet master, and on that note. We do know the identity of the current Sith Lord, no it's not Dooku he was just the apprentice. We know that you should watch your clone troopers carefully. And we know that you're likely going to try and find us. My advice, don't. So long as you don't interfere with us we will take care of this little problem quickly. If you don't heed this warning, we will show you exactly why we are not to be taken lightly. This message will self-destruct in 3…2…1…" The small hologram projector suddenly sparked, an intentional design flaw causing the power source's internal chemicals to become potent acids and destroy the recording device.

"If they have the capacity to take a ship of that size without damaging it we cannot allow them to simply roam free." Master Mace Windu said.

"We simply do not know enough about them to actually capture them. And if they are truly against the Separatists…" Master Shaak Ti began but was cut off by Master Oppo Rancisis.

"If they ignore the rules of engagement then they put innocent bystanders at risk. If they act without considering collateral factors then they pose just as much risk as the Separatists themselves." Oppo's coiled tail twitched in agitation.

The conversation stopped as Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker and his padawan Ahsoka Tano entered. They both took note of the damaged Holo-projector on the floor.

"Is this a bad time Masters?" Anakin asked.

"No, we were just finishing. How went your mission?" Master Obi-Wan Kenobi asked, noting his former apprentice frown.

"We had Gunray, but someone rescued him. Some Sith I've never seen." Ahsoka said, gritting her teeth in frustration.

"Gunray is a slippery one Ahsoka. It is not the first time he has escaped capture." Obi-Wan said.

"What about that Master?" Anakin asked, pointing at the projector.

"Seen the ship, I trust. Separatist ship it was. But taken by unknown parties was it." Master Yoda said.

"And they left that in it for us." Obi-Wan said. Anakin stepped forward and scooped it up, the acid having neutralized by now. Anakin, like Maul, was a skilled user of Mechu Deru. The ability to have a metaphysical understanding of mechanical and electrical components. And that ability led to a startling discovery. The holographic projector was destroyed, along with the recorded message and all of its information. But unharmed was a small listening device and transmitter, both beeping as the entirety of what was being said was picked up and sent off to the Madhouse. Mike, upon hearing that the Jedi had lost Gunray again, began to plot. He closed his eyes when the sounds abruptly changed from voices to static. It seems his listening device had been found and destroyed. No matter, the Jedi were unsure of his team's motives and that gave him an advantage. For now, he would plan and relax.

Bang!

Mike's eyes snapped open to see Asajj, a bright red handprint across her face made very clear due to her pale skin. Mike also noted that she was a bit damp.

"Mike, before they say anything I want you to know it was done in the name of science." Asajj rattled off quickly, leaving Mike more confused than ever. His confusion turned to annoyance as the suspicion began to take root.

Sure enough, moments later an angry Aurra Sing stormed in. She too was damp and hastily dressed, an annoyed Savage Opress followed close still working on getting a shirt on. Now the suspicion was acquiring additional details and becoming clearer.

"Let me guess, you two were in the shower and Asajj decided to try and join in?" Mike guessed.

"She didn't just try and join in, she groped me. Again!" Aurra shouted.

"Is this true Asajj?" Mike asked.

"Every word. And Savage, you are a very lucky Zabrak." Asajj said, smirking shamelessly as Savage attempted to hold back a furious Aurra.

"Asajj, you just finished dish duty and now you're getting it again. One week." Mike decreed.

Asajj looked at everyone around her and simply shrugged. "Totally worth it."