ii. Set during chapter 41
The rain begins with little warning. Hotsuma lets out a shout of surprise, throwing a protective hand up over his head and beckoning for Shuusei to follow as he sprints down the garden path. As they move, Shuusei catches traces of greed and arrogance – human emotions that are out of place amongst the spiritual pulse of the shrine, laying to rest any suspicion that mountain gods are behind the string of thefts.
Shuusei isn't shocked by his discovery, but he feels a twinge of sadness all the same. Guests of Izayoi Tower Inn are well-meaning; nothing more than hopeless romantics. While their methods may be contrived, Shuusei understands their craving for a lifelong companion only too well.
"It's ironic, isn't it?" Shuusei asks, breaking the silence that fell when they ducked into a gazebo for cover. Hotsuma gives him a sideways glance, waiting for Shuusei to further reveal his thoughts. "It's just- the love shrine, and the red string of fate. Why is everyone driven to find the other half of their soul?"
Hotsuma folds his arms and leans against the side of the gazebo, watching the rain. "Gives me the creeps," he mutters softly, echoing his sentiment from earlier. "All this hocus pocus romance - red strings or duras' potions, it's all the same in the end."
"It gives people hope," Shuusei suggests, but Hotsuma just scoffs.
"What does hope get you? Sitting around, waiting for someone to notice ya' instead of taking action. Making yourself vulnerable to quacks who promise the moon for nothing in return."
Hotsuma's words are harsh, but Shuusei knows this is the philosophy by which his partner lives. He's borne witness to it, in the brusque yet kind way that Hotsuma rejected Yoshino's confession; how Hotsuma's instinct is always to act before thinking, drawn along by his emotions. Whether Hotsuma's honesty is fool-hardy or courageous is open to debate, but Shuusei envies his partner's unwavering sincerity.
"What if a girl tied a string on the tree for you?" Shuusei asks curiously, leaning forward on the gazebo railing. He holds an open palm out under the rain, a futile attempt to catch some of the water in his hand. "You wouldn't appreciate the sentiment?"
"There's no sentiment," Hotsuma snaps, expression clouded. "Any girl hiding behind magic tricks is-"
"What if I tied a red string on there for you?" interrupts Shuusei, keeping his tone light and musing, attention still focused on the impossible task of capturing the rain. He means it as a joke but the reaction from Hotsuma is almost immediate; mouth clamping shut and eyes averted, silence stretching between them again.
Shuusei settles into the pause, closing his eyes as his clairvoyance roams. The wood beneath his touch whispers tales of forlorn hearts, perfectly in tune with Shuusei's own melancholy. He could get lost in it; but Shuusei focuses instead on the rainwater running down his arm and the sound of Hotsuma shifting his stance, a reminder of how having Hotsuma simply here is always better than the alternative.
"The proprietress admitted it's a scam," Hotsuma finally says, words dragging the truth back into the fore. "As if wishes do anything."
Hotsuma's words settle the matter but Shuusei doesn't open his eyes, afraid of what his gaze might reveal. There's a hopelessness to the tales pulsing beneath his fingers that hits a little too close to home, reminiscent of his own fear to push Hotsuma too far. Shuusei yearns for the easy answers he can't afford to believe in, wanting nothing more than to bridge this lingering division between them; to erase the uncertainty of his own heart and the fear in Hotsuma's.
Instead, as the rain begins to lessen, Shuusei drops his hand and says, "You're right." It feels like admitting defeat and as he wipes his hand dry, Shuusei wonders how anyone can have hope, when he can't even grasp what's right in front of him.
When he opens his eyes, Hotsuma is giving him a sly grin. "I'm what," he goads, an easy arrogance settling in at Shuusei's words.
Shuusei rolls his eyes and pushes himself away from the railing. "Come on, we should return to Yuki and Sairi." He steps out into the night, picking his way back along the trail and trusting Hotsuma to follow.
"Hey!" Hotsuma shouts as Shuusei begins to walk away, "don't be a coward. Say it again!"
Shuusei turns, looking back at where Hotsuma still stands in the entrance to the gazebo. He wants to deny Hotsuma this small victory; to rest safe in the knowledge that his feelings will reach his partner one day. But Hotsuma's previous words ring true and Shuusei sighs, conceding. "You're right," he repeats, voice steady and void of the wistfulness he's feeling. "Now come on, let's get back to Yuki."
Hotsuma jumps off the gazebo's step, looking far too pleased with himself as he hurries to catch up with Shuusei. And if they're walking a bit too close, elbows knocking and fingers grazing, Shuusei lets it pass; still waiting for Hotsuma to acknowledge it first.
