What is Home?

Disclaimer: I don't own The Sound of Music

Maria felt like she was floating on a cloud for the next couple of days, she was so happy.

On Saturday, the family watched as Brigitta received her diploma, and Maria loved how happy Brigitta was about that. Her smile went from ear to ear the entire day. Maria had to admit she was a bit uncomfortable when Brigitta discussed attending college in the fall, especially as Burlington was even further away from home than Montpelier, but she saw no reason to worry about that on such a happy day. "I'm so proud of you," Maria whispered as she hugged her new graduate tightly. "We all are."

It was just as wonderful to see Friedrich home and safe again. And God, along with the rest of their family, were protecting Johannes from anymore breathing problems. Staring at Friedrich, Maria would often spontaneously say "I'm glad you're home." And of course, she continued to watch Johannes, making sure he was fine, and telling the baby she loved him.

The Gloria had never sounded so sweet as it did that Sunday morning, when almost the entire family stood in the church. Even Georg admitted he should thank God for whatever role He played in returning Friedrich to them. Maria knew all of God's angels must be filling the church with song along with the choir, because there was too much joy there for it to be otherwise. "Thank you, Lord," she whispered over and over during the Mass.

Georg squeezed her hand as she did that, as if he was agreeing with her prayer, and her joy increased every time he did so.

When the mass ended, Father Pelletier added a prayer thanking God for ending the war in Europe and bringing the American soldiers home. "Amen," the von Trapps agreed, although Maria wished Father Pelletier hadn't specified "American soldiers," and she could tell by the look on Georg's face that he felt the same way. Their Friedrich was just as important as any of the Americans, after all.

Ironically, many of their fellow parishioners seemed to think Father Pelletier's ending prayer referred to Friedrich as well. Maria thought it was strange, because it was common knowledge for these people that they their family were Austrians. "Thank you for serving in our navy," said Mrs. Thompson, shaking Friedrich's hand.

"We're honored you kept us safe," said Mrs. Baker, shaking his hand as well.

"Why is Friedrich so important?" Rosemary suddenly asked, wrinkling her nose in confusion. "That's all anyone talks about anymore. Friedrich, Friedrich, Friedrich!"

Maria sighed. She should have realized how jealous Rosemary would be of her older brother. "It's just Friedrich's turn for attention right now," she tried to explain.

But Rosemary didn't accept that answer. Instead, she scowled and balled her hands into fists. Liesl, ever the responsible oldest sister, gently whispered something in her youngest sister's ear.

Meanwhile, other parishioners continued to congratulate their oldest son.

"I hear you did a great job in the Navy," said Liesl's friend, Jenny, as she batted her eyes at Friedrich. Then she shook his hand, too.

"Wonderful service, Mr. Trapp," said another parishioner that Maria didn't know very well.

Georg looked at Maria with an expression that wasn't quite happy and wasn't quite angry. She knew he meant to say, "At least they are acknowledging his service."

Maria nodded. "That's what's important," she whispered in his ear, as they headed outside the church.

"I wish that priest would have thanked God for bringing all the soldiers home so far, rather than just the Americans," Georg couldn't stop himself from saying as they all climbed into the car. His voice sounded like thunder, as it often did when he was becoming angry.

Cradling Johannes with both hands, Maria deliberately brushed her arm with Georg's larger one. She hoped it would be enough to calm him. She had to admit, she was a bit bothered by what Father Pelletier had said as well, but it wasn't necessary for Georg to become so upset about it. As he had indicated in the church, what was important was that people knew Friedrich had served. "Everyone is still proud of you, son," said Maria.

Maria heard Friedrich exhale loudly from the backseat of the car. Then he said, "Actually, after serving in the American Navy for so long, I feel like an American now. So, I thought Father Pelletier was referring to me, anyway. My navy superiors even told me I could make it official and become an American citizen on the Fourth of July, if we go to Montpelier."

Georg and Maria shared a look of shock. Why hadn't they expected this? Hadn't Friedrich said something about possibly becoming an American citizen when he joined the navy? But why did it have to be so soon?

"I see," Georg finally replied in a neutral voice.

"Father, please understand," Friedrich said, obviously trying to keep his voice sound as calm and rational as possible. "I still love the Austria that I grew up in, but we live here now. America is the country I served for and helped defeat the Nazis."

For several moments, all anyone could hear was the sound of the car's motor.

"Of course," said Maria when no one else would say anything.

"Ahh, bbaa," Johannes suddenly babbled from Maria's arms, breaking the tension. She loved how his sweet voice filled the car.

"I love you, Johannes," Maria said for the third time that day.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Georg tried not to appear very upset to the rest of the family for the rest of the day. Thankfully, he didn't use his thunderous voice when he spoke at all, or ball hands in a fist when Friedrich talked eagerly about his plans to become an American citizen. And Maria loved him for trying to accept their son's decision. But she knew he was upset because of the dark, vacant look in his blue eyes and his stiff movements. He had reverted to the distant captain she met eight years ago, as Georg often did when something was painful for him.

"I know this is difficult, but I'm so proud of you," Maria told him as they disappeared into their bedroom for the night. "This apparently means a lot to Friedrich."

Georg was silent for several moments as he carefully took off his clothing, his movements still stiff. Then he stretched out his entire body on their bed. "I know, and I'm trying my best to understand," he said at last. "Friedrich is correct, after all. We live here now. And it's not as if we'll be able to return to our real home for a long time, if ever. But… it's almost as if I'm losing Austria and Friedrich again, all at once."

Wrapping her arms around him, Maria tried her best to give him all the comfort she could. "I can see why it would feel that way for you," she said as she kissed his cheek.

"I don't know why I expected Friedrich to come back the same person he was when he left," Georg said, his gloomy voice vibrating in her ear. "I certainly wasn't when I came home from World War I. But this boy who is so excited about being an American… who is he? Has Friedrich really come home at all? Where is my Austria?"

Her heart went out to her husband, as it always did when he was so upset. How could she help his mood improve? After a moment, she pulled Johannes out of his crib and carried him back to the bed. "This little man always makes me feel better."

Georg shrugged as Maria stroked Johannes's back and tickled his feet to wake him up for his last feeding. "Give him a little tickle, darling. He likes it."

Georg's eyes remained vacant, but he moved his fingers across their baby's left foot. Soon, Johannes began to squirm and babble a little. "I suppose you're right; he does like it. Certainly doesn't get that from me."

Maria chuckled. "No, he doesn't. But look how fast he's become interested in food," she added as Johannes began to search for her nipple. "You know that's your side of the family."

Georg nodded, some of the life returning to his eyes as he watched Johannes nurse. "I don't know if it's necessarily the food he's interested in, but I will agree that he gets it from me." His pupils dilated as he looked at Maria's breasts.

Maria grinned mischievously. "So, you think it's just the breasts?"

"I don't see how any von Trapp man can deny them, darling," Georg replied. His blue eyes were becoming darker again, but for a much different, more exciting reason.

When Johannes finished nursing, Maria carefully put him in his crib and then attacked her husband with kisses. She hadn't been able to be intimate with him since before Johannes was born. Between the lack of sleep and her worry about her baby's health, Maria just couldn't make it happen. But at this point, she had to do something to make Georg a little happier. The first sign of emotion in him tonight was when he saw her breasts.

So, she gave him plenty of access.

And Georg was soon quite happy, at least for a little while. So, what if was a bit too quick for Maria to finish? She was just glad her husband was finally able to smile, and she could check on Johannes again.

Maria sighed with relief when she heard her son was still breathing.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Georg still struggled with Friedrich's decision to become an American for the next few days, but Maria was proud of how supportive he tried to be to their son. Her husband was just beginning to finally accept the inevitable when Friedrich dropped another bomb onto their family.

"I just returned from talking to Doc Miller," said Friedrich one late afternoon. "He said I could live with him and help him out with his practice. He a great doctor to learn more about family medicine."

Maria wasn't the least bit surprised when Georg immediately said, "Absolutely not!" in a thunderous voice and his hands balled into tight fists.

Friedrich sighed and shook his head. "Father, you know one of the reasons I joined the Navy was so, I could become a doctor. I want to be a doctor here, too"

"Nevertheless, you are still my son," said Georg, still using his thunder – voice. "We need you at home; you know that."

"Funny, it seems that you survived for the last three years without me here," said Friedrich, raising his voice a little.

"That's exactly why we need you home now," said Maria, wondering when she had decided to join this argument.

Friedrich shook his head again, his jaw tensing, as he looked from her to Georg. "You don't need me at home; you want me at home. I'm twenty – two years old now. I should be able to live without my parents if I wish."

"Friedrich, I said no!" Georg's fists shook in his anger.

Maria stared at their son and shook her head. Was he abandoning them? She might be just as angry as Georg.

"I can't believe you!" Friedrich snapped back.

"How can you leave this family after all we've been through?" said Maria, as her rage boiled more and more. She put her hands on her hips.

"Right now, leaving the two of you is the best reason I have for not living here!" Friedrich shouted. He ran up the stairs.

Georg stared at the stairs with fire in his eyes and slammed his fists against his legs. Maria wondered if she had fire in her own eyes as she looked at the now empty staircase. She couldn't believe their son thought it was all right to leave.

Gretl looked up from the floor, where she had been playing with Johannes. "Are we still going to have apple strudel for desert tonight?" she asked uncertainly.

Maria had bought the ingredients for a low – sugar version of the family's favorite dessert to celebrate Friedrich's return at the grocery store. But what was the point of making strudel if Friedrich wasn't going to stay at home? "I don't know, Gretl," Maria replied.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

In the end, Maria never made the apple strudel. Even her favorite desert couldn't console her as her family crumbled before her eyes. How could Friedrich do such a thing? They'd waited courageously for the last couple of years for him to come home and now he was leaving again? Anger boiled inside Maria again as she thought about that. Especially considering baby Johannes, who was currently sucking his fist and looking at Maria in obvious hunger.

Picking up Johannes's small, fragile body, Maria shook her head. "I wish your older brother would try to understand how much we need him here. You need people watching you all the time, considering your health scare last month." A flash of Johannes blue face as he struggled to breath appeared in Maria's mind, and she tried to force the image away. Instead she showed him her nipple and he eagerly began sucking. "You seem healthy now, but what if something happens again? I thought a doctor living here might help. Doc Miller said there was nothing he could do, but you never know."

OOOOOOOOOOO

Dinner was tense. Rosemary demanded that Maria give her the apple strudel. Gretl tried not to make a big deal about it, but Maria could tell how upset she was that the apple pastry was missing. Georg shot daggers at Friedrich throughout the meal, and Maria tried to avoid looking at their son.

Things became even worse when Friedrich chose to announce his plans to live with Doc Miller.

"Friedrich, I thought we already discussed this!" Georg thundered again. "You are not leaving."

Friedrich looked just as hostile. "As I've already told you, I'm twenty – two. And I'm a doctor. I don't want to grow maple trees; I want to practice medicine."

The daggers on Georg's face somehow grew longer and sharper.

"Yes, but how could you abandon your family for that?" demanded Maria.

Friedrich shook his head. "I didn't think I was, but now I think it looks tempting."

Louisa stayed quiet, but the way she shot daggers at Maria and Georg made her feelings quite clear.

Liesl, ever the peacemaker, did her best to soothe the tension at the dinner table by asking Brigitta to describe the book she'd been reading. The girl eagerly began to explain the plot of The Hobbit.

Somehow all of the von Trapps finished all of their beans that night. Maria had no idea how that happened. She certainly couldn't remember eating them. How could she, when her family was falling apart even more than before?

OOOOOOOOOOO

That night Maria began to wonder if she and Georg were being too tough on Friedrich. After all, he was twenty – two years old. And Doc Miller's house was still in Stowe. They would have plenty of opportunities to see him if he lived there. They needed to make things right with their son if their family was going to whole again.

"Georg?" Maria asked softly as she came into the bedroom.

"Yes?" he said in a withdrawn voice that showed how upset he still was.

"Perhaps we might… be wrong… about Friedrich," she said, trying to force the words out of her mouth. Maria had never liked admitting she was wrong.

Georg's head snapped up immediately. "How could you say that, Maria? I thought we agreed he belonged at home!"

Maria sighed. "I do want him home. I want our whole family together again. I've always thought that's the way it should be, and I believed that was what would happen when the war ended. Louisa, Friedrich, and Kurt would return, and our house would be even more full of children and love, like it always was. But… I think maybe 'home' is different for Friedrich now than it is for us. He's different now, you know. We've talked about that already."

Georg sighed. "I know, and I hate it." He made that cute little scowl that Rosemary often made when she couldn't get her way, and Gretl still did occasionally as well.

Maria leaned over and kissed the side of his scowl. "But you also said you were different after you came home from the war, didn't you?"

Georg sighed. "Yes, I suppose I did."

"And I've been thinking. Doc Miller's house isn't that far away. We could probably still see Friedrich often. A lot more than we did during the war. He'll be fine over there."

Georg shook his head sharply. "I don't want him living with that man. I'm his father, after all."

Maria felt her heart break into tiny pieces at that. Did Georg really think Friedrich was replacing him? "Darling, you are Friedrich's father and you always will be." She stroked his shoulders as she talked, trying to decrease his tension. His muscles were so tight. "Friedrich loves you. He's always looked up to you and wanted to make you proud. Do you think he picked the navy by accident?"

"I know he picked the navy because of me, and it made me very proud." His blue eyes stared right into Maria's as he said that. "But now… he's got someone else he wants to look up to instead. I'm not a doctor, so I guess I'm not good enough for him anymore." He laughed darkly. "I should have expected it. I'm a prize father," he added sarcastically.

"Georg, honestly, this really isn't the time for your sarcasm! And of course, you are a prize. You're the best husband I could ask for and a wonderful father to all of our children." She began unbuttoning his shirt, so she could soothe his muscles more directly. "Friedrich just wants to learn more about medicine from another doctor. Doc Miller's practice is in his home, so he invited our son to live there."

Pressing his forehead to hers, Georg's senses overwhelmed Maria's. His deep blue eyes poured into hers. His warm breath caressed her face. His wonderful cologne filled her nostrils. "I suppose we can't stop Friedrich from becoming who he wants to be any more than we could stop Kurt, can we?" he whispered to her.

"No," Maria agreed, still feeling the muscles in his shoulders. "And Friedrich living with Doc Miller is far less dangerous than Kurt's decision to join the Pacific Front." She still worried for Kurt's safety, but Maria tried to leave him in God's hands.

"At least we'll always have each other," said Georg, sealing the comment with a kiss. His tongue pushed into her mouth and Maria responded eagerly, remembering why tasting was one of her favorite senses.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

OOOOOOOO

Much to Friedrich's relief, the next day, Father and Mother reluctantly gave him their blessing on moving in with Doc Miller to practice medicine. Liesl was quite relieved herself; she never liked conflict, and when her family was tense, it bothered her twice as much as anyone else. It reminded her too much of those days when it felt almost like Father had stopped loving them.

Today, their home was filled with the unselfish love of people trying to support Friedrich's decision to leave. Gretl smiled at Friedrich as he went up and down the stairs with bags and boxes of his things.

"Good luck," Mother said as he put more items in the car.

"Remember, I'll come back every week for Sunday dinner," he promised.

"I just wish you'd stay here longer," said Marta quietly, finally saying what she'd obviously wished to say all afternoon. "You just came home." Liesl nodded, agreeing with that statement. She was happy that her family wasn't so tense ever since their parents had given Friedrich their blessing, but Liesl still wished he wasn't leaving so quickly.

Friedrich smiled and put down his bags to hug Marta. "I know, but this is something I need to do. And I'm only going to be a half hour away."

Marta sighed and nodded sadly. Liesl watched as her brother walked outside to put his bags in the car. Friedrich was right; he certainly wasn't going half way around the world again. "Would you like some help?" she asked when he returned inside, trying her best to support her brother.

Friedrich nodded, his eyes shining with gratitude. "You could help me pack my books if you'd like." They both went upstairs to his room.

Still, Liesl stared for a few moments while he placed several of his books into a cardboard box. He was packing a lot more than he did when he left for his navy training. It occurred to her that Friedrich may not be going very far this time, but he was leaving for good. Friedrich sighed as he placed a small, thin book in the box. "I'm sorry I sprung this on you all yesterday. Perhaps I should have mentioned I was going to talk to Dr. Miller about a job before I did, but I really didn't know what he was going to say."

Liesl sighed. "I can understand that." She picked up and old book of Friedrich's about different types of rocks and placed it in a box.

"And I know you're a girl, - " he began.

Liesl sighed, loudly at that, and narrowed her eyes. She was older than he was, twenty – four years old, and yet her brother still thought of her as a "girl"?

"Or maybe you're a woman now," Friedrich corrected himself. He stared at her for a moment, as if he was seeing her for the first time since he'd returned. Liesl felt a shiver of excitement that her brother might finally be recognizing her as an adult. "But that's exactly what I mean, Liesl," he said, coming back to his earlier topic. "I'm twenty – two years old, and I've been to war. I'm a man, and I don't feel as if I should be living with our parents any longer. I need to make my own way now."

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Friedrich kept his promise and came home for Sunday dinner every week. Mother was also delighted when he continued to attend church with them every Sunday morning. Still, walking past the boys' empty room made Liesl uncomfortable, and she hoped Kurt returned home soon.

Yet even though Friedrich didn't live at home anymore, they all realized he tried to include his family whenever he could. Independence Day, popularly called "the Fourth of July," by Americans, showed that more than anything else. "I should receive my American citizenship that day, and I want you all to come with me," he told them all as they sat down to Sunday dinner three days before hand. "Would you be able to get enough gas ration cards?" he asked Father.

Father was silent for several moments as he often was when needed to think.

Rosemary began to ask if she must finish her milk, but Liesl whispered for her to be quiet. It wasn't wise to interrupt Father's thoughts about such an important matter.

"Yes," Father finally replied. "I know where I can obtain some."

Friedrich's face lit up with joy. "Wonderful. We can all watch the Fourth of July parade there, too."

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Crowds lined the streets for the parade and everyone cheered as it began. Rosemary jumped up and down several times, trying to see over everyone's heads. Then Father picked her up and placed her on his shoulders, which made her grin spread from ear to ear. Liesl thought it was nice to see her youngest sister so happy.

Liesl lost count how many American flags she'd seen in the parade. It seemed every group carried them, from the American Red Cross, to the boy scouts, to the veterans of previous wars. Some flags were so big they had to be held by several people, while others were so small each person in the group waved their own flag.

Friedrich treated all of the flags with reverence, saluting as many as he could. He looked just as happy as Rosemary, and she supposed that was good, but it was surprising that he looked at the American flag like Father used to look at the Austrian flag. Liesl reminded herself that her brother considered himself an American now. As far as Friedrich was concerned, that was his flag. "It's nice to be home on the Fourth of July," he said with a smile after saluted another.

Liesl looked at him strangely, along with several other of their family members. But you don't live at home anymore, they all seemed to say.

"I see," said Mother, like she was trying desperately to understand and be happy for him. And suddenly Liesl understood. To Friedrich home meant America. To the rest of them, home meant living with their family.

Several minutes later, Liesl smiled as she heard the sound of music in the distance. Trumpets, clarinets, flutes, and drums. It was the Montpelier's high school marching band.

Liesl and her family began to clap to the beat of the drummers and horn blowers, although Mother had to settle for tapping her foot, because she was holding Johannes. Even Friedrich participated. For once they were a family again. A family that loved music.

As the band marched on Liesl began to realize that they would always be a family, even if they didn't all live together anymore. Perhaps it was all right that "home" meant something different to Friedrich than to the rest of them, then?

OOOOOOOOOOO

Several days had passed since Friedrich had officially become an American citizen, and it comforted Liesl that they all still felt like a family.

Still, nothing pleased her more than when she received another letter from Patrick one afternoon. In fact, her heart jumped when she saw his handwriting on one of the envelopes when Father brought in the mail. Liesl loved hearing he was all right. And the way he would pour out his soul to her in his letters always made her feel so special.

Dare she hope that he might be coming home soon, as well?

She took the letter upstairs to her room to read in private.

Opening the letter, another one of Patrick's sketches fell out. As usual, he drew carefully and precisely, like he seemed to do everything. This one was of Patrick watching two of the men who served under him from a distance. The concern he felt for the men was obvious.

Liesl smiled as she looked at his image. When did he get so nice – looking? Could he be trying to make himself look better than he really did in his sketches? Would he think she was pretty if he saw her again? Did she even want him to? She pushed those absurd thoughts away and finally began reading the letter.

Dear Liesl, June 23, 1945

You were right in your last letter; of course, the war here was over as of May 8. But everything in Europe is torn up and chaotic; it almost feels like another war. Revolts have sprung up occasionally, by stubborn Nazis who refuse to give up. The worst was the one in Prague; my men and I were horrified to see how many people they killed even after their general had surrendered. I didn't understand it then, and I don't understand it now. Tim, one of the men in my tank regiment, was shot in the leg there. And I had told him not to worry, because we were only there to keep the peace. Sometimes I really think I'm not the right man to be their lieutenant…

Others are dead before we even arrive. I've heard many of these men killed themselves instead of being killed in the last few battles. Apparently, most Germans are simply too stubborn to accept surrender, one way or another. Perhaps suicides are expected when Hitler killed himself as well a couple of months ago. If I didn't have my drawing or you to write to, I don't know what I'd do, Liesl. All the death is overwhelming.

But some of the Germans American soldiers find are still alive. We have collected many Nazis for the prisons, although it is difficult because neither I nor any of the men in my squadron speak much German. My mind often wanders to you, Liesl, as I try to understand these prisoners, because I know German was one of your native languages. It certainly would be easier on me if you were here to translate!

But of course, I cannot truly wish you were here to see all this horror. You are much better off safe with your family. Especially as I know how your parents depend on you to help take care of everyone. It can be a burden, to be responsible for people, as we both know. Still, in a way, I think it's also a blessing, especially for you.

I'm happy to hear your youngest brother is all right now; it's too bad that neither your mother nor the doctor knew why he almost stopped breathing. But I'm certain you'll be a help to him, just as you always are to your siblings.

But as this month comes to an end, there is talk about some of us going home, as the French are going to take control of our section of German soon. If I'm able to come home, I would like to see you if you are interested.

I will send you a telegram if I do return, as I hope, in a couple of weeks. If you would like to see me, please reply and then write to my parents' house for directions to your house.

Sincerely,

Patrick

Liesl hugged the letter to her chest as she finished, as excitement grew in her belly. Rolfe had left her with bitter memories of telegrams, but the past couple of months showed her telegrams could be something to be thrilled about again.

Thank you for all of your reviews from the first chapter. Please give me an honest review for this one as well.