Chapter 1

Lost Love Revealed

November 15, 1990

Dear Diary,

School just got a little more compelling. Today I met a girl that intrigues me. She's attractive and sexy. She seems innocent and sweet. I don't think she's my normal type but what is my normal type anyway? I have seen her around before, 2 weeks ago I saw her with Brandon. He was giving her a ride some where. I didn't talk to her. I did still notice her even though Brandon's Minnesota girlfriend was freaking out over my Porsche. SHE didn't seem to care much about my car or know I was alive. She was in a rush it seemed. Today though, she finally did notice me. We said hello, I stared into her eyes and tried to play it as cool as possible. I'm pretty sure Kelly saw right through me. I was instantly smitten. We'll see, I hope to see her around more. She definitely isn't your typical Beverly Hills princess, I think that's why I'm so attracted to her.

Dylan

November 18, 1990

Dear Diary,

She likes my butt…or my bike…I think both! Her hair had a new color. Not good but not that bad either. She looked so sexy in her tank top it was hard to look at her weird color hair. Maybe she is punk? She really didn't seem like it though. Well I offered to help her out and I took her to see Louie. He fixed that awful, orange was it hair color? Who freaking knows. She rode on my bike and I just remember her tank top chest against my back. God Dylan you're obsessed. Her hair looks incandescent. She didn't really need a new hair color to look radiant or brilliant. I wonder if Brandon would care if I asked her out?

Dylan

January 1,1991

Dear Diary,

Happy New Year! I can't believe I'm actually still writing in this journal my dad got me from god knows where. It was his Christmas present he sent from Paris. He gave it to me in the beginning of November though. Diary you can't see me right not but I'm rolling my eyes. My father is an asshole. I hope he isn't coming home soon. He may not be here often but my new years resolution is to continue to write in this, I think it's good for me. Also to stop drinking. I spent New Years alone again and drank almost a whole bottle of Scotch. I threw up all night. My head hurts today. I wonder what miss pretty incandescent is doing? Maybe I should see if Brandon wants to work on his piece of crap car this weekend. I'm gonna ask him. Maybe she'll be there?

Dylan

January 3, 1991

Dear Diary,

So much for winter, LA is having a major heat wave. Something else happened. As I lay in my new room, dad gave up the suite, long story. Something about laying low. Anyway all I can think about is her. She came out with Brandon and myself to a movie tonight. Let me back up. I shamelessly asked Brandon if he wanted me to help him with his car. He happily accepted and as we were working on it Brenda came home. As I sat quietly from under Mondale. I heard her just be herself. How she is with her brother. It was honest and kind of cute. She was babysitting and looking everywhere for dirty dancing. A little too chick like for me but I got a glimpse that she enjoys movies, I like movies. I wanted to get to know her. As I rolled out from under the car all I saw was the hottest set of legs I had seen in a long time. She flirted with me right in front of her brother and I again shamelessly checked her out in front of Brandon. There was a spark between us and he saw it. I got a rag to the face for it but I don't think Brandon was mad or anything. I like Brandon. We have a good time together. The weird thing is that Brandon is good for me. He is straight and considerate. I can see myself being friends with him for a long time. That brings me to Brenda, I like the way she makes me feel. Her eyes see through me. It's the weirdest feeling. She makes me nervous but in a good way. It's a feeling of belonging I haven't ever felt before. She makes me feel special. She caught me in the shower. I'm not going to lie I left the doors open in hopes she might. She came barreling in yelling at her brother and as I pulled the shower curtain back mine were met with her gorgeous eyes, she looked embarrassed but that only lasted for a second because then her eyes were wandering. Instead of making me feel awkward or ogled, I felt horny. UGH! There is just something about her. Am I crazy? The movie night was fun but uneventful. We just hung out as friends. I'd catch a look, a lingering stare every once in a while but we just enjoyed each others company. I can see myself falling for this girl and thats' scary but the weirdest thing is…it feels right not scary at all. I want to be alone with her.

Dylan

January 10, 1991

Dear Diary,

Holy shit! Holy fucking shit! It happened! We went on an actual date. I was finally alone with her and I almost fucked it up! Let me start at the beginning. I called the Walsh house to see what time I should get them for the movie. Brenda answered and after a full two minutes of flirting, she sadly told me Brandon had woke up with a terrible cold and he was out of commission. I just came out and asked if she still wanted to go? With me…alone. She accepted with zero hesitation. I had a feeling she wanted to be alone with me as much as I did. Her incredible smile when I picked her up. The way her hair was pulled back, away from her face. A little messy around the curve of it. She is breathtaking. I'm a respectful guy, I try to be but I'm also 16, I wanted to take her back to my house. After asking if she wanted to shine on the movie, I did that, I took her back to my house. The problem though was…my fucking father was there. I haven't seen him in many months. This journal was some sort of peace offering and he hadn't even given it to me myself. Part of me was embarrassed, she heard my father yelling at me I'm sure. She came from the most coddled existence of anyone I know. And she saw the opposite. How neglected, how troubled, how insignificant I truly was. All she wanted to do was be there for me, support me and I lost it. I lost the cool layer I tried so hard daily to cover myself with. I was almost mad at her. For being so perfect, so amazing, so understanding and not judgmental. When I threw the pot it wasn't to scare her it was because all this anger rose from so deep within I had to let it out some how. My father always gets to me. I can't help it. There is so much resentment deep inside. I just can't help it. Then I saw her run from me. In those 2 seconds my heart broke that I had ruined everything. Then I was scared, I was scared she wasn't going to be amazing towards me anymore, she wasn't going to understand something she had no clue about, she was going to judge me, she was going to leave me like everyone always did. So I ran after her. As I hugged her from behind, I whispered I was sorry over and over. I didn't want her to leave. As I turned her around with force I saw her eyes. The sweet innocent look was replaced with fear, she told me I was scaring her so I released my grip on her. I didn't want her to be scared of me, I didn't want her to be scared with me ever. I wanted to make her feel as safe as she unintentionally made me feel. Everything was too much, I broke down, I did something that I had never done before. I let down my wall and bawled like a little bitch. Did she run away from me? No she comforted me. I hugged her and instantly felt better. I felt free. As my eyes met hers my heart was beating out of my chest as I tried to catch my breath. Then it happened, I feel in love with her. Just like that. We shared an amazingly intense first kiss. There was such a need in each other, from both sides. I clung to her like my life depended on it and she clung to me. I needed this girl like I needed air to breath. From that kiss everything seemed easy, I told her that my father had deserted me, kicking me out. I told her I hadn't talked to him in over a year. I told her things were better with him now but it was always like this. It was no picnic and my father and I had a tiresome relationship. I was honest for once in my life and it felt good. At first I was afraid she would rat me out. To Brandon, maybe to the kids at school but as she looked into my eyes as we sat outside her house I knew I could trust her. I knew we had connected on another level and I think she loved me too. There is two things I'm now very aware of after tonight. The first thing, Brenda makes me want to be a better person. I want her to be proud of me. She sees something in me that I didn't know ever existed. She makes me feel safe and I need her in my life. And the second, which is so strong I never thought it even possible. I was in love with her. I was in love with Brenda Walsh after one date.

Dylan

Eliot slammed the book shut and pulled it to her chest as she sat up. A smile crossed her face. This unpublished book was about her mother. There was so many questions running through her head. The dedication, the Jack grapes poem, I burned with the love that I lost when I lost you. Eliot knew her parents had a long history, what exactly went on in that history was a mystery but lost her, how did he lose her? They had obviously been together for 17 years. They've been married for 15 of them. This was their story, well from her fathers point of view anyway. Why hide it? It seemed beautiful.

"El?" Byron peaked his head into her room making her jump again.

"Fuck By…stop doing that!" she breathed out.

"God sorry…why are you so jumpy? Didn't you hear me come in?"

"Seriously, this house is a fortress, I didn't hear shit." Byron came and sat on her bed as he chuckled. Their house was big.

"What's that?" he pointed to the leather bound book now on her lap.

Eliot took a deep a breath, "You will never guess what I found, hidden in dad's study, he wrote a book about mom."

Byron took the book from her and flipped through it. He stopped on a page towards the back, he read out loud. "It was an amazing wedding. Donna and David were actually married. It was an incredible sight to see. Brenda didn't come though. Something about a play, I was more than a little disappointed. Brandon didn't come back to LA either. Maybe it was better. Maybe it was suppose to be like this. Less complicated, now I could fully give myself over to this thing happening again with a certain unnamed blonde."

Eliot snatched the book from her brother. "Don't skip ahead."

Byron laughed, "What blonde…I thought you said it was about mom?"

"I don't know." Eliot spoke softly looking down at the book again. She skimmed her hand gently across it thinking. "I haven't gotten that far yet."

"Well how far did you get?" Byron seemed interested, even though he wasn't very literary.

"Their meeting…first date?" Eliot smiled a dreamy smile at her brother which made him roll his eyes.

"God you're so dreamy and sweet it's disgusting." Byron shook his head.

Eliot took a deep breath, "Yeah…too sweet apparently." she muttered thinking about Aidan.

Byron tilted his head, his hand come up to his sisters shoulder as he squeezed gently.

"Why are you home so early? How was the movie?" Eliot changed the subject.

Byron's hand fell from his sister, "We didn't make the movie. We went by the pit instead. Had dinner." He took a deep breath, "I saw Aidan." he spoke softly.

Eliot looked at her brother, "With who?" she asked afraid of the answer.

Byron shrugged, "Alone actually. I talked to him for a few but it didn't end well." He looked down sadly.

"By…Aidan is one of your best friends. You can't let what happened between us ruin that. It isn't anything personal with you and him. He fell in love with Audrey. It is what it is." Tears filled her eyes and she cursed herself for letting her brother see them.

"Oh yes I can. Eliot you are my best friend. And if that isn't enough…you are my twin sister. He hurt you and that is very fucking personal."

Eliot looked down and sighed. Her brother was loyal. She wasn't going to win this battle. She just hoped someday, after things settled a little they would find their friendship again. "He asked about you." he added softly.

Her head came up surprised, "Really?" why did she even care?

"Do you want to hear this kind of stuff, do you want to know about him?" The last thing Byron wanted to do was make his sister more upset. The new coupling of Aidan and Audrey was weird for everyone in their group.

"What did he say?" she asked.

Byron shrugged, "He asked if you were okay?"

"And…what did you tell him?" she hoped he hadn't said she was miserable. She wanted to hold on to her pride at the moment because this last week, it was all she had.

"I told him you were fine. And I told him if he cared so much then why didn't he have the balls to ask you himself. He said he did care about you, he always would and then we argued and Emma and I left." He shook his head as he sighed.

Eliot was quiet, not really knowing what to say. She hadn't really given Aidan a chance to ask. He had called her a couple times and she hadn't picked up. She hadn't left her house besides to attend school and she kept her distance from them.

"So this book huh? it sounds pretty interesting." Byron thought for a moment. "Donna and David had been married since what, 2000? That was 17 years ago. We're 17 and here dad is talking about some blonde. You'll have to tell me what happens." He got up off the bed to head into his own room. Eliot smiled, she was wondering the same thing. Now that her idiot brother skipped ahead for a second, she was curious on how her parents got together. Got together enough to conceive them anyway.

Her cell phone rang loudly, she looked over at the face plate. She picked it up holding it up for Byron to see. "Speak of the devil." she smiled and answered.

"Hey dad."

"Hey darlin…how's my little girl doing?"

"Dad…I'm not a little girl." Eliot rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah…so you keep telling me. How's the home front, you and your brother behaving? I don't hear any loud music. No parties going on or anything." Dylan chuckled. Eliot hit speaker as Byron came back over siting again on his sisters bed.

"Hi dad." he called out.

Dylan hit speaker as well as Brenda's voice came over the phone.

"Hey guys."

Hey mom." they both called out.

Eliot continued, "No Dad…no parties. How's France?"

"Well France is wonderful. We rented a limo today and it took us out into the french country. We had a picnic…it was great." their fathers tone was sweet and then they wrinkled their nose hearing their mother giggle, kissing sounds came through the phone.

"Gross guys." Eliot whined and Byron laughed. He wiggled his eyebrows at his sister. As he heard their parents laugh over the speaker.

"What have you guys been up too?" Brenda asked interested.

"I took Emma to the pit tonight. And Eliot here stayed home reading." he took the leather bound book from her lap and rolled his eyes with a sigh. She shook her head, don't tell them she mouthed.

"That's my girl. Is that all, you guys are alone?" her dad asked innocently but they both knew there was nothing innocent about the question.

"Yes dad…it's just me and Byron."

"I took Emma home for curfew." Byron added.

"No Aidan tonight El?" Dylan asked she sighed, he had a love hate relationship with his daughters long term boyfriend.

"No dad. I just stayed in." she looked down sadly. Her parents were going to find out that they had broken up but she'd tell them when they were home. She knew her father would probably be thrilled and her mother would worry about her. She didn't want to ruin their trip.

"Alright well…we miss you. We will check in with you tomorrow." Dylan said as they heard more kissing sounds. The twins looked at each other and pretended to gag.

"We miss you guys too. Have fun!" Byron got up now and headed to the door.

"We love you both." Brenda called out over the phone.

"We love you too." Eliot said back. She hit end on her cell and took a deep breath. She wished she was in Europe at this moment. She loved Paris, she wished she was far away from the teenage drama that surrounded her life at the moment.

"Why didn't you want to tell dad you found his book?" Byron asked from the doorway.

Eliot shrugged, "I don't know…it seems private. It wasn't exactly out in plain view. It was hidden, I don't know if he'd want me to read it."

Byron shrugged not caring too much. Sure he was interested in what happened and everything but not enough to hibernate like his sister and read it in its entirety. He figured she would share the good stuff…the cliff note version per say. The truth was Byron was an extremely smart young man. He wrote for the paper, he played sports. Him and Eliot were in the top of their junior class at West Beverly. He still improvised for the most part. Eliot studied hard and worried about her grades, she was interested in stuff like theater, literature and poetry. Byron crammed the night before and if he didn't, he winged it. He was a fly by the seat of his pants kind of guy. His mother would tell him he reminded him of his uncle. Brandon I guess was that type of guy. Byron knew though, he was like his father in that aspect too. He may not have a love of poetry but his personality was his father. Where Eliot was more romantic and dreamy and sweet like their mother. Even though Dylan was romantic as well. He had taught him everything there was to know about the opposite sex. He was very much in love with his high school sweetheart. They still had a year of high school left but secretly, he would follow Emma anywhere in the world to be by her. He wasn't sure who he took after in that aspect.

"Night El." he called out.

"Night By." Eliot called out after him. She set the leather bound book on her dresser and pulled her sheets down turning off her light next to her bed. As she settled into her warm covers, she thought of her mom and dad. How crazy they were about each other. It made her smile. She had grown up seeing true love in plain sight. it was hard to imagine her father, or mother for that matter with anyone else. Her thoughts were interrupted hearing her cell ding, she reached out and grabbed it seeing a text from Aidan. She swallowed hard and opened it up.

Just checking in with you. Are you okay? I know you don't want to hear this but I miss talking to you. I didn't want to hurt you. That wasn't my intention.

She watched the three dots present themselves like he was continuing. Then they stopped. She closed her eyes as a couple tears fell from her eyes. Maybe it wasn't his intention but thats exactly what he did. She stared at the text. The dots appeared again.

I'm sorry. I miss you El…you're my best friend. Can you please talk to me?

She shook her head quickly and blew out her breath she had been holding. She turned off her phone and set it gently on the brown leather bound book. She couldn't text back. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to talk about it and she wasn't ready to be his friend. He was her best friend too but he was so much more. She closed her eyes, thinking about her parents again. There was a couple things she learned from only reading a little of her fathers journal. He met her mother at 16 years old, she knew that already. He seemed crazy about her, she knew that too, seeing them now days. But hearing she was gone somewhere, not attending Donna and David's wedding. Which was surprising to Eliot. Donna and David were still her parents close friends. Even though her father seemed disappointed her mother didn't attend, it seemed he was in a relationship with someone else or at least starting one back up. She stared at the book again, she could spend all night reading it. She sat up and reached for it. She turned on her bedside light and opened it to where she left off. One more entry, maybe two then she would really go to bed.

January 12, 1991

Dear Diary,

Soooo Brenda and Dylan are together. So what we know so far, They have twins. A boy named Byron and a girl named Eliot. They've been married for 15 years. Together or it seems for 17 years. Both of their kids don't know much about their parents past relationship. Eliot being a romantic like her parents she is too intrigued to not find out. We see into the mind of mysterious Dylan. Taking him through the years of his relationship with Brenda…his time without her. Maybe even showing us into the Dylan we despise…season 3 Dylan. Do you think Eliot will like what she learns? Let me know what's in your head. I love your reviews and guesses. The more detailed the better and feel free to ask questions. I may not give everything away but I've been known to give spoilers here and there. Thanks for reading, I hope you are liking this so far.