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Disclaimer: Uh, really? I'm not legal yet. You really think I can own a TV show/stars? Common sense people.
Edit Date: November 17, 2012.
Status: Squeaky clean. (;
Chapter Two: Pinkish Scars
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I slowly regain consciousness and groaned. My back felt stiff as a rock and my legs were still asleep. I raised myself up with my arms, wincing as I used the bandaged one, and wobbled on unsteady feet to my bed. I balanced myself with the bed as I cracked my back and walked back and forth, trying to wake my legs up.
"Katie! Are you up yet? It's already ten o'clock!" I heard my mom shout.
"Yeah!" I yelled back. "I'll be right there!"
I sat down on my bed and stared at my bandaged wrist. I began to un-ravel it and immediately saw dried blood on random spots of my wrist. The cuts I drew yesterday were still there - why do I always say that? They'll be there forever. They'll never be completely gone.- and blood could be seen behind them. I was tempted to cut my wrist right now, but decided against it.
I'll do that later.
I grabbed two thick bracelets from the top of my dresser and slid them on my wrist. They barely covered the scars. I ran a hand through my brown hair and walked to the door. I walked inside the living room of 2J and saw four nineteen year old boys looking half-asleep and hair flying in random directions.
Except James Diamond.
No, his hair was perfect.
As it always is.
I wish my life was as perfect as his hair.
Sadly, as much as I wish for it, it doesn't come true.
"Hey Katie." Kendall mumbled, staring at the television screen as it blinked through commercials.
"Morning Kendall," I mumbled back, trying to blink away the sleep.
"Morning Katie." Logan and Carlos said as James said "Morning Kit-Kat!"
"Someone woke up on the right side of the bed." I replied hoarsely looking at James.
James shrugged. "I'm a morning person."
"Katie!" My mother said as she walked into the living room. "Go get your eggs and bacon. They're on the counter."
"Kay." I told her and walked to the kitchen.
I grabbed my plate from the counter and saw a glass of Apple juice and fork near it. I grabbed them both and headed back to the living room. I took a bite of the eggs and moaned; they were so good. "This totally isn't Mom's cooking. Who made it?"
"Guilty." James raised a hand.
"You?" I stared at him, shocked. "You made this?"
"I woke at six.." James said. "I was bored.."
"You're my personal chef now." I replied honestly and scarfed down the rest of my food.
James chuckled. "Sure, sure Kit-Kat."
The guys left to Rocque Records after they ate their breakfast and Mom went out to an audition for a commercial, so I was alone. The razor I used was laying down on my bed, staring at me and glinting silver. It was tempting me to use it and I gave in to the temptation. I grabbed it by the edge of the blade and put it on my wrist. I looked down at the pinkish scars that scarred my wrist. Before, when I was thirteen, you wouldn't have seen any of these scars. Then I turned fourteen and I took depression the wrong way and began inflicting pain on myself.
I pressed the blade in deep and sliced to the side.
I wasn't stupid.
I wasn't going to kill myself..
Yet..
Blood spilled from the wound and trailed down my forearm.
I hissed.
It hurt so much.
But it felt so good.
Another slice to my wrist.
I can't stop after just one mark.
It's too hard to stop.
Another wince.
Blood dribbled from the wounds and onto my shirt.
Ah shit.
More things to wash.
I flinched.
Memories of my father invaded my mind.
You would think after being out of my life for practically my own life I would forget about him.
I would never forget about him - Kendall wouldn't either.
Slash.
Wince.
I should stop.
This is the most I've ever cut.
I can't stop.
It's too addicting.
Another slice.
My vision began to fade.
I. Need. To. Stop.
I grabbed my mangled wrist and held it close to my chest. Blood began to drench my shirt as I dashed out of my room and to the bathroom. Black spots started to cloud my vision as I wildly looked for the extra bandages. I quickly wrapped it around my wrist and sighed in relief. I glanced down at my blood-drenched shirt and began to wobble towards the door. But then something inside of me made me stop.
Blackness overcame my vision.
I slumped against the bathroom wall and fell unconscious.
Fin
