Flipside
Chapter Two
: ORLY?
By Nan00k
"And you kiss your mother with that mouth?" -my best friend

Thanks to everyone who commented on/reviewed the last chapter!

In this chapter, things are explained. Shit flies. Becky tries to make sense of having a Transformer in the family. Then, more shit flies.

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Title: Flipside (Chapter 2: ORLY?)
Summary: Apparently, Barricade is getting married to your cousin. Yeah. What are you gonna to do now?
Rated: PG-13/T
Genre: humor
Characters: Barricade, original characters
Warnings: Utter crack, original characters, foul language, violence, mild out of character-ness, spoilers for 2007 movie, first person point of view
Disclaimer: Transformers is owned by Hasbro/Dreamworks. I only write this mess.


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For being as tough and menacing as he appeared, Barricade was a remarkably calm guy. After listening to my twenty-minute explanation of how I knew nearly everything about him (or at least what was explained in the movie and previous merchandise), he just sat and mulled over what I said. I had expected him to yell and try to kill me for "blasphemy" or some shit, but he just…took it.

"So, this movie and television series told of the war and the recent events on Earth?" he asked.

I nodded. I still felt sick, but at least I had stopped shaking. "There was the book, too," I added. "It was about the skirmish between Nemesis and the Ark when those humans on Ghost-1 got involved. You were…um, a pilot, I think."

Barricade bared his teeth slightly. That was how he showed dislike for something apparently. "That is true," he said quietly. "All of what you have said…is true."

There was definitely a threat in his words. He was challenging me to confirm his statement. I swallowed hard, knowing that both of us were hoping the other were either lying or pretending.

"Look, if anything, this isn't my fault," I said, defensive. He continued to glare at me. I glared back. "What the hell do you think I did, huh? Wink my eye and wriggle my nose and then—poof!—Transformers equals reality?"

"You must be getting the information somehow," growled the Decepticon.

"Yeah," I replied, bitter. "From the movie." And the Internet. And tons of other sources.

Barricade sneered. "You mean to tell me that you, a person who just so happens to be so familiar with this franchise you speak of, miraculously ended up being related to the one human I am in frequent contact with?"

Oh. So now he was a Doubting Thomas. "Listen here," I began, shifting around so that I was facing Barricade completely. I pointed at him, emphasizing my words. "If you think this is a coincidence, join the freakin' club. Yesterday morning, you were an action figure. Now you're real. I'm as clueless as you are for as why this is happening. You could be a jerk hired by my family to screw with me for all I know!"

"You could be an Autobot informant," snapped Barricade, leaning forward suddenly, making me withdraw my hand and gasp as I flinched back away from him. His breath smelled like Aunt Sheri's avocado dip. So apparently he could eat human food.

"How could I be when you're fictional characters?" I exclaimed, now becoming more and more upset.

"You could be lying about this whole thing," replied Barricade, his voice mercilessly cold. "And believe me, brat, I do not like liars."

"Why would I lie?" I demanded, almost crying now. I motioned at myself. "Why would I do this to myself?"

He fell silent at that.

Then…

"Your biological signs indicate that you are not lying," said the Decepticon coolly. I blinked my tears away and saw he was staring, irritated, but not angrily, at me.

I had to calm down and I knew it. Barricade was much calmer now, either because he knew scaring me was pointless or he was trying to keep cool as much as I did. We both knew freaking out wouldn't get us anywhere.

"I'm tell you the truth," I sniffed miserably. I wiped my eyes with my jacket sleeve. "I'm…I'm just a fan. I know what I know because I got interested in the series after seeing the movie. I'm not a spy. I'm just a kid."

Barricade sneered again, but this time it was almost a grimace. "Stop making waste," he snapped angrily. "I believe you."

"Y-you do?"

"Yes, so shut up and let me think."

The two of us fell silent. I chewed on the bottom of lip, nervous. I had no idea what to do. I could hear shuffling around upstairs, but the banging on the door had stopped a while ago. My parents weren't too afraid now, but I sure as hell was.

I stared at Barricade silently, unsure what to do next. He was focused on the floor, glaring holes into it as he "thought." What he thought about was a mystery to me. I shifted uneasily, waiting for him to look up and share his ideas.

But I kept waiting. For a while, all we did was sit in silence. I swallowed, uneasy, and shifted my legs again. Barricade was definitely not intent on letting me into his internal monologue, if he was even having one. He was shutting me out.

And here I was, worried sick that I was going crazy or that I was on the receiving end of some horrible joke…and he was just ignoring me. Like I was nothing important, or even involved in the situation. He expected me to just give him answers and then keep quiet about his own reason for being there.

That kind of pissed me off.

"Well?" I finally said with accusing gusto. I gave him a suspicious glare. "What about you?"

I caught him off guard, it seemed, since he flinched slightly out of his deep thinking. "What?" he demanded.

"What do you want with my cousin?" I asked.

Suddenly, I felt very…angry. This was a Decepticon. Two hours ago, he was one of my favorite fictional characters. Now, I had to get around the fact he was a real life alien invader (or so it seemed). He was not a cool cop car with a bad-ass attitude—he was a murdering villain. Maybe, if the circumstances were different, I wouldn't have gotten upset. But he was involved with my family and nobody screws with my family. My mind effectively labeled him "enemy" at that moment of realization.

My question was rather abrupt, so it took a moment for the alien to think it over. He looked at me differently now. There was a smug look in his eye…and something else. The smug look bothered me more, so I got even angrier.

"You heard the news," he said casually. "We're getting married."

His smugness carried over to his voice and lips, which formed an irritating smirk. I full out glared at him, growing angrier by the second.

"No shit. What the hell do you want with her?" I asked, my voice incredibly bitter. "Seriously, are you that bored after losing to the Autobots? What could Emily possibly have that you want? If you're just being a dick and fucking around with her, I swear to God, I'll—!"

"You'll what?" taunted Barricade. He grinned maliciously at me. "Glare at me some more?"

"How about I go over to that phone and give Mr. Keller a phone call?" I suggested sarcastically, now livid. "Or better yet, Sector Seven? I'll bet they'll be more than happy to forward me over to Optimus Prime and I'm even more sure he's real anxious to hear about this whole thing."

As if I had the Secretary of Defense on speed dial. I paused mentally. It wasn't like I even knew who our SecDef was, even two hours ago. Something churned in my stomach. I had a bitter feeling that if I checked, I'd find a name that should not have been there.

Suddenly, I really wished I had never seen that movie.

Barricade, apparently, did not like threats, those that were directed at him, that is. Something changed around the Decepticon in that moment. The hairs on my arms and neck stood up on end when I noticed the change. Barricade was tenser, angrier and…well, the only word I can really use is fucking scary as hell. His eyes were brown, but as I noticed his growing anger, I also noticed his eyes weren't just brown now; they were turning red.

Well, that just scared me because it was biologically fucked up. What scared me even more was that all the calmness that we had both tried to force on ourselves just went out the window.

"Human, do you have any idea how lucky you are that you are still functioning?" Barricade hissed, his red-brown eyes pinning mine motionless in my skull. "It is only because of Emily that you are still alive, homo-sapien, but I would not push your luck any farther."

I could only stare in speechlessness at him. He was absolutely terrifying. He was a Decepticon. Even if this was only a dream or a hallucination, it was border-lining nightmare now.

"I'm sorry," I choked out, trying to escape his wrath by pushing back into my chair, farther away from him. My eyes were as wide as saucers probably. "I won't…I won't tell a-anyone."

"You had better not, brat," growled the Decepticon, baring his perfectly white teeth.

His threat was not one I would ever take lightly. I had seen what the movie-Barricade had the potential of doing. I mean, while watching a movie, it was cool and fun to watch a giant robot use ass-kicking moves and be all badass.

But I had to think realistically now. This was not a moment where my inner-fangirl was shining. This was a moment where I was afraid for my life. If this really was the same Barricade as the one I "knew," that meant he did all those awful things. That he was a Decepticon, a real monster. There was nothing fun about a monster like him.

I was terrified, but I had to smooth things down now. My family was upstairs. The rebellious part of my mind wanted to yell and fight this creep, but the logical side of my brain reminded me that if I pissed this guy off, he could destroy the whole house.

"I-I just…please don't hurt my cousin," I said, my voice cracking pathetically. I gripped the chair arm with my nails to stop myself from shaking. "I-I don't care what you do to me, just don't hurt my family."

Barricade's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Human loyalty is so aggravating to witness," he snapped, sitting back, as if bored. "It's miraculous your species is still in existence, brat. I have no idea why you haven't died out already from sheer stupidity."

The sarcasm, though annoying, proved to be very comforting. It meant that he wasn't really angry anymore. I relaxed as well, loosening my grip on the chair and sinking into the back. I exhaled slightly, trying to get a hold over my emotions. This wasn't over yet. I had to focus.

"R-right," I replied shakily. I awkwardly pushed my bangs behind my ear to distract myself. "Well, it'd still be nice if I got an answer."

"You don't need one," replied the man darkly.

I gave him a weak glare. "Come on," I said, not really whining, but close to it. "I told you all you wanted to know. I'm as lost as you are about all of this. Help me out."

"I owe you nothing," snapped Barricade.

"What if you just give me hints?" I begged. My curiosity demanded to be appeased. This whole night was just utter chaos. I deserved answers just as much as Barricade did.

Exhaling, Barricade gave me a level glare. He probably knew that I would keep asking. "You already know about Emily," he finally said.

"Yeah," I agreed, nodding slowly. "Um. She's a fashion designer, so you met her…how?"

"After escaping the Autoscum, I had to hide somewhere until the Decepticon numbers regrouped," replied Barricade, bitter. If my ears weren't tricking me, I could hear some reluctant embarrassment in his voice, too. "I went as far as Washington state. We met in Seattle."

"Emily worked there until six months ago. She works here in Boise now," I said, recalling with some difficulty. It was hard to keep track of every person in the family. "…Uh, where exactly did you meet in Seattle?"

"On the road," was the short answer.

"Okay…" I bit my lip, trying to rationalize that. My cousin was a bit of an air head, but not that stupid to just stop for some stranger—let alone an alien robot—on a road of any kind. I mean, who would? (Besides me, I mean.) How did they even meet on a road?

When I asked, Barricade snorted, annoyed. "We pulled over at the same time," he answered.

"…care to explain why?" I asked, frowning. He was such a bastard, purposely avoiding answering my questions. At least he was answering them, even if he was making it difficult.

Barricade sneered. "Why would two drivers be forced to stop on the middle of an interstate high way?" he demanded, sarcastic.

So, they were on the interstate. Lots of drivers and lots of roadway. The fact that only Emily stopped seemed to hint both were specifically involved in each other stopping. My brow furrowed as my detective-mode turned on inside my mind. The only reason I could come up with was if…

"…you crashed?" I asked finally, incredulous.

Barricade said nothing and only glared.

A Decepticon and a Transformer…although technologically advanced and way more in-sync with their surroundings and bodies…crashed while in vehicle form?

Despite my earlier fear, I started to smirk and had to hold back a laugh.

"What's so funny?" demanded Barricade.

"What did you hit?" I asked, trying very hard not to laugh. It was verrry hard.

Barricade's glare intensified. "A tree," he snapped. "So?"

"How?" I demanded. I coughed at the sight of his growing anger and sat up straighter. "I mean, uh, well, that sucks. So, you crashed into a tree."

"It's called black ice, dumbass," he growled. "While I'm busy trying to navigate the terrain with your planet's miserable weather system wrecking the path for me, that one patch managed to evade my sensors, so yes, I crashed."

So it had been storming, undoubtedly during the winter. He crashed due to bad weather and…Emily found him?

"Emily stopped to help?" I asked.

Barricade looked away. "Yeah," he replied.

"And…?"

"I used a hologram to pretend to be a human in distress and she called a tow-truck to get me out," said the Decepticon, looking back at me with a look that clearly said, LAUGH IF YOU DARE.

I didn't laugh. "Okay…so she rescues you—I mean, gets help for you," I quickly amended at the look on his face. I cleared my throat. "And I take it you get to know each other from that point on."

"Right," confirmed Barricade. He went back to looking bored. "We met, I got myself fixed up, and things clicked. End of story."

Which would lead us to this moment in time, where they were getting married. Something did not sit right with me. Barricade didn't seem the type to just…fall in love. I mean, I had to admit it was possible, but it seemed crazy. But they were getting married. Something had to happen to make Barricade ask Emily such a human request. …Or perhaps it wasn't love, but something more sinister on Barricade's part?

"What happened after that, when you got fixed up?" I asked, openly confused.

"We continued contact," explained Barricade dully. "She proved to be a great source of information on how to interact with humans, so I felt that by that point, it was acceptable to take the relationship further. By using the cover of a police officer in Seattle, I went through the proper preliminary human mating rituals and—"

"YOU WHAT?"

"I asked her out," the Decepticon said harshly. "It led up to this present situation where we will be finalizing the process of preliminary human partnerships."

Well, needless-to-say, I was a bit overwhelmed by all the information. Either Barricade needed a new set of vocabulary words or I needed a translator. I shook my head.

"Let me get this straight," I started to say, trying to come up with a chronological order for things. "You escaped Mission City, ended up going into hiding, wound up in Seattle, got into a traffic accident, and my cousin found and saved you. You did that hologram thing, she thought you were a real person, and you asked her out as a cover. Then, it became something more, she fell head over heels for you, or vice versa, you proposed, and now you're getting married?"

"Yes," he said.

"You expect me to believe that?" I demanded hotly, sporting my own glare. Now it was my turn to be suspicious. I could barely believe the circumstances as it was.

Barricade glared back. "Believe what you want. It is the truth."

"Holograms aren't solid objects!" I shouted angrily. I pointed at his arm, and daringly, I poked his hand, making an angry sound when I felt how solid it was. "See? That's solid! That's not a hologram!"

"You are seventeen years old," he replied coldly. "By human standards, that is nothing. You have no high knowledge of science or physics, so how are you supposed to know about holograms?"

"Yeah, well—wait," I said, disturbed. "How do you know how old I am?"

"Emily. She told me a lot about her family." He grinned in a very wolfish manner. "She especially adores her baby cousins."

Okay, creep, I thought as I glared back at him. I couldn't believe that I was actually arguing with a Decepticon, and that I wasn't in immediate threat of being killed. That made me a little braver, so I continued to argue. "Its common sense about holograms. 'Holo', duh! Seriously, how are you solid now, when you were just Pornstache Man in the movie?"

Barricade hesitated. "Pornstache Man?" he repeated, unsure.

"NEVER MIND!" I practically screamed, silently cursing the inner workings of fan girls on the Internet. "What I meant was, you were definitely not solid in the movie. You were a hologram, and couldn't take on a solid form."

"Well, believe it, because it's the truth."

"How?" I demanded.

Barricade glared, clearly irritated. "Alright, brat, let's test your miraculous knowledge base," he began darkly. I gulped. That didn't sound good. Suddenly smirking, Barricade leaned forward slightly in his chair. "Tell me. Do you know the name Wheeljack?"

Oh-ho. Now we were talkin'. "Wheeljack; the Autobot inventor," I replied smoothly. "Genius of a 'bot, mad as a hatter." I grinned. "He's one crazy mofo, but I'm told by my sources that his inventions have caused not just a few nasty surprises for you Decepticons."

Barricade's dark glee vanished from his face and it was replaced by a look of aggravation. "Right," he replied, hastily. He leaned back properly, knowing he lost whatever edge he thought he had over me. Jerk. "In any matter, you know who he is?"

"From what the first series told me, yeah." And fan fiction. I had yet to mention to him about that dark corner of the fandom and I didn't think now was the best time to mention it yet.

"Well, you know he invented bizarre contraptions?" he asked. I nodded. Barricade nodded back, saying, "Then this should be believable for you. He created a matter-distorting device that enabled the physical transformation of size, density and overall appearance of any solid object."

My first thought was, What the hell is this, some f-ed up fan fiction? I nodded slowly. "Okay…" I had a feeling where this was going.

"I stole this device several centuries ago from an Autobot supply ship, under the orders of Starscream," continued Barricade. "He never asked for it and I had kept it in my subspace compartment, just in case it would come of any further use. I forgot about it entirely when this mission to earth occurred.

"After meeting Emily, I re-discovered the item and knew that holograms were not going to cut it if I were to continue a physical relationship with Emily." Barricade frowned, though not in an irritated way. "I altered my physical form in order to completely assimilate into human society." He held up his hand, as if to give me prove. "As you can tell, it is working just fine."

He sat back, content with his answer, and waiting for my response. My head buzzed with this information. Two concerns popped up in my mind among all the others and I felt obligated to call Barricade on them.

The first made me more nervous than anything else.

"You stole the machine from Wheeljack?" I asked, incredulous, after being quiet for a moment.

"Yeah." Barricade stopped and then sneered. "What about it?"

"You actually used it?" I asked, wary.

"I did. So what?"

"Um…if we're talking about the same Wheeljack…uh…"

Barricade glared at me. "Get to your point, fleshing."

"You trusted something Wheeljack made?" I finally asked, a mixture of horror and amazement filling me and my voice.

At that, he seemed to get it. He shrugged indifferently though, sinking back into his chair. "It is working fine," he said simply.

"But…Wheeljack made it."

"Yeah. He did."

"…Things that he makes usually go boom. Rather violently."

"Like I said, it works," Barricade replied coldly, cutting off the conversation.

I shrugged, not willing to show how his chilly remark scared me. "Eh, you got guts, that's all I'm saying," I replied. "Anyway…so you can turn into a human. Lovely."

Then, the scientific part of my mind clicked on and my second concern reared its ugly head.

"Wait," I began, now alarmed. I shot him a wary look. "If…no. That's impossible."

"What is?" demanded the man/alien.

I motioned wildly with my hands. "Y-you! Being here!" I cried, now feeling incredibly scared. "There is no fucking way you could—could—shrink! T-turn human! Not be a robot anymore!"

"Mech," corrected the annoyed 'Con.

"WHO CARES?" I screamed. "You can't just toss physics out the window! This is physically impossible! It breaks every law of matter and atomic structure that I've ever heard of!" And I damn near failed chemistry, too.

Barricade shifted in his chair, leaning back, at ease. "If it's impossible, I wouldn't be here, idiot," he said dully.

"But physics!" I cried.

Barricade's glare intensified. "With that Autobot, laws of nature go out the window," he growled.

And that was logic I could not argue with.

"You know what?" I began, not looking at him, but staring out at the side, listlessly. "I've decided."

"What?" asked Barricade gruffly.

"I don't care if you defy the laws of nature or physics by being here," I said firmly, most to myself. If I continued to fight it, I knew my mind would just fry on its own confusion. My best hope for survival was to just grin and bear it. "If you give me an answer and it makes a relatively small amount of sense, I'll take it as fact and just drop it."

"Good idea," replied Barricade dryly. I looked up and he was giving me a dull stare.

"You should, too," I said, motioning tiredly. "It saves your brain…processor…the stress."

Barricade sneered. "I'd rather be suspicious of the know-it-all brat in front of me," he replied nastily.

I gave him a dark look, but I tried not to care. He was a jerk, much more so than I had expected from the movie character I had seen. Then again, the movie-Barricade usually grunted and gnashed his teeth. Maybe he was an asshole, too.

Sighing heavily, I sank into my chair and rubbed my head. This whole thing was crazy, but I thought I was handling it rather well. There were still many questions flying around my head, but I knew I should take it one step at a time. Part of me still feared that this was some elaborate hoaxed my sister concocted to ridicule me. If it was, she was probably dying of laughter by now.

Bobbing in the seat to try to calm myself, I turned slightly. Barricade was being quiet, probably thinking as well, and I couldn't hear my family making any loud commotion anymore. The silence was welcomed by my aching mind. I rested my arm on the desk top, my fingers tapping on the computer keyboard lying by my elbow. If only I could get some proof to show them all…

Then realization struck.

It suddenly occurred to me what I was sitting in front of. It wasn't just a computer; it was a gateway to the largest information network in the entire world. Slowly, I turned my head more, taking in the sight of the black computer monitor. My eyes glowed with joy.

"DUH!" I cried, turning around quickly, making Barricade tense. I ignored him and focused on the computer. It was in sleepmode, so it came on as soon as I touched the mouse. Biting my lip, I navigated my aunt and uncle's computer. I opened Internet Explorer and suddenly, I had the world at my fingertips.

"What are you doing?" demanded Barricade. I could hear the chair in which he sat strain slightly as the Decepticon tried to peer over my shoulder at the screen.

"I'm checking to see if I'm crazy," I replied, typing away. Raw desire filled my entire being. If this was still a joke, the Internet could not be a part of it. There was no possible way. It was the only way to really tell if this was real…

Barricade stayed quiet, watching me. Part of this scared me. He wasn't defending himself or trying to make me stop. He wasn't pretending.

But I allowed the part of me that still didn't believe to type away. Google was my friend and I had the reputation as being one of the best Internet searchers that I have ever heard of; if I can't find something, it doesn't exist. So, I put the survival of my sanity in the hands of a search engine and searched: Transformers 2007.

It only took a few seconds for the screen to return with results. My mouth dried and all I could do was stare at the computer screen.

Nothing.

My favorite sites of Wikipedia and IMDB had nothing on the subject. Transformers, the live-action 2007 movie, apparently did not exist. Sudden anxiety filled my stomach. I quickly typed into the search again 'transformers.' Even the 1980's fandom sites were gone. The only things I got back were sites for electrical appliances.

Hasbro's main site had nothing.

Dreamworks had nothing.

Michael Bay had nothing.

"So either I've spontaneously become psychic," I finally said in a rather calm voice, "or God's decided to be a complete asshole."

Barricade said, of course, nothing as he sat opposite of me in the other chair. I leaned back in my seat and stared at him, biting the inside of my cheek.

"Well?" I asked.

"Well, what?" he demanded.

I rolled my eyes. "Do you have any suggestions at all as to why I know fact for fact what happened all the way over in Tranquility, Navada, plus what happened millions of light years away on a planet I don't even think NASA scientists know about?"

"Fact for fact?" Barricade repeated, sneering.

"Yeah. Fact for fact. Or at least major events, I guess. Don't ask me to tell you Captain Lennox's shoe size, but I sure as hell know that he tangoed with Blackout in the middle of a street on the back of a motorcycle."

Barricade seemed to think I was exaggerating, even after scaring him only moments before with knowledge of Ghost-1 and such. "Alright, then, tell me how Lord Megatron died," he said, haughty.

"Sam pushed the All Spark into his spark chamber, which overloaded both," I replied easily.

"Sam?" Barricade echoed, for a moment confused. He suddenly growled. "You mean the human with the map?"

"Yeah. Sam Witwicky, AKA LadiesMan217," I drawled, examining my nails as if bored. I had always wanted to do that, and it seemed like the perfect moment to do so. I continued on speaking, saying in a droll voice, "you and your symbiotic partner, Frenzy, first found him under that underpass, gave chase, and battled his guardian Bumblebee in a junkyard. Bumblebee threw you into the power lines nearby, you promptly beat the shit out of each other, and Bumblebee emerged the victor." I paused for dramatic effect and enjoyed the dumbfounded look on the 'Con's face. I went on. "Frenzy had gotten the information on Witwicky through Air Force One's POTUS mainframe. Oh, and on Mars, you and the other Cons stepped on the Beagle 2 rover—which is inaccurately portrayed in the film, by the way—as you consulted each other over when it was time to get moving onto Earth."

Barricade stared at me. I grinned, and waved my hand slightly. "Nerd," I said, as if that explained everything. It sort of did.

Disturbed, Barricade sat back farther, frowning. "What are you supposed to be?" he demanded, not so confident now. "An oracle?"

"I'm a kid from Boise, Idaho," I replied with a heavy sigh, sinking into my own chair once more. "I don't get more average than that."

What did this mean? I had to consider the possibility that maybe…this was always real. That Barricade wasn't a made up character and…maybe I was the one who was making things up.

My mind violently tossed the idea with a vicious metaphorical shake. There was no way I was the fake one. No damn way. I remembered enjoying Transformers with others. I remembered laughing with friends over it. I remembered buying the damn toys. Memories couldn't be faked. I wasn't a freaking psychic.

But what if we're both right? I thought suddenly, now uneasily alarmed. What if, somehow, the franchise became real? Then, that would mean my memories were real, but Barricade's were as well, technically. But how? How did this happen?

"Argh," I grumbled, rubbing my eyes. Barricade tensed, awaiting some other intelligent response. "Alright, I have another question," I said, sitting up properly, trying to distract myself. I gave Barricade a level look. "We've already established that I'm a nerd and you're an alien."

"What more could you ever want to know?" Barricade asked, sarcastic. Frowning, I gave him an incredulous look. He really did have a sense of humor.

"Well, how about why you're marrying Emily?" I demanded.

Barricade's eyes narrowed and his scowl darkened. "Why does that even matter?" he snapped irritably.

"I don't know, maybe because she's my cousin and I don't want some evil alien hurting her?"

"Human, you are the most unintelligent creature I have ever had the misfortune of meeting," he growled through gritted teeth.

I wasn't going to give up, no matter what insults he threw at me. This was too weird to just leave alone. I wanted answers and he was going to give them to me, like it or not.

"Why marry her?" I asked, confused and angry. "She's just a human. You're two different species. And you hate us! I can understand asking her out as a cover, but why take it so far as marriage?"

Barricade sneered. "I asked her because I lo—," he started to say, but stopped. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he meant to say and I choked on my reply.

"You couldn't…didn't," I began, unable to get my mind around it. Staring at him, I couldn't understand what he was trying to make me understand. It was…wrong. "You don't…love her!"

He growled darkly. "You don't know anything," he snapped.

I gape at him, partially horrified now. "You don't!" I cried, appalled. "You're—you're a Decepticon!"

He glared.

"You hate humans!" I continued.

He said nothing, but kept glaring.

"You don't love her!" I nearly shouted.

His fist slamming onto the desktop again, Barricade loomed forward again, pissed off as all hell. I froze, scared again.

"If I didn't, why the slag would I still be here?" he demanded loudly. His hand whipped out and I squeaked as I dodged the violent gesture. "For someone with so much information, you're obviously missing out on some important facts!"

"Like what?" I asked, weakly.

"How about the notion that just because I carry the symbol of the Decepticons does not mean I have no spark?" he spat, his words like acid in the air. He looked…strange. His eyes were wild and full of anger. And desperation. "She saved my life, even knowing what I was, who I was and what I did—I owed her more than I could ever repay her. And she is just a human. Miserable little spawns that you are." He bared his teeth in anger. "She fell first and I hated it. But after all that time, something just clicked. Something told me that this human was more than just carbon and water. She…was different."

Barricade ended his speech quieter than before. There was such angry honesty in his voice and eyes. But I couldn't bring myself to just give in. "Its impossible," I whispered.

"Then we wouldn't be here, would we?" he snapped irritably.

He had a point.

We both sat in silence for a while more. I stewed in my own guilt. I felt terrible. Barricade really did look and sound serious. He was supposed to be a great liar, but I always considered myself to be very empathic; I could sense liars from a mile away. He wasn't lying now. He was…telling the truth.

About being in love with my cousin.

It could be worse, I had to remind myself. It could have been me.

Then I would have simply shot myself. There's no way I could EVER handle that idea.

If this was some cruel hand dealt to me from God, it was definitely over the top, even for a guy like Him. None of my wildest fantasies about the series ever resulted in something like this. I gripped my face as I leaned on the arm of my chair, glaring at the wall behind Barricade.

I tried to remember the movie. It was still clear as day in my mind. After the fifth time I went to see it in theatres, I had all the lines memorized. Sam Witwicky, AKA The Beef, meeting Bumblebee, the three of them meeting Barricade in the street, the battle at the electrical plant, Frenzy going after Sam…Frenzy accidentally killing himself…

Then, something abruptly struck me. "And, wait a second," I said. I turned around and stared at Barricade, wary. "Just where is Frenzy, anyway?" The thought of the little metal psycho made me immediately afraid.

Barricade glared back fiercely and I instinctively winced. Anger radiated off of his body, but there was something else as well. I stared back, weakly uncomfortable with the situation, as my mind worked to find a reason. The one I came up with made me gasp.

"Oh," I exclaimed. My hand flew up to my mouth and I instantly felt terrible.

It had always been debatable about which Decepticons survived Mission City. The rumor about Barricade slipping off on the highway appeared to be accurate, but Frenzy? The combined efforts of Maggie, Glen, Simmons and Secretary Keller had lead to Frenzy apparently decapitating himself in the underground Hoover Dam base. Fanlore got around this a lot, from what I read, and he was usually able to be rebuilt. But…now?

Oh shit.

"He's…dead?" I asked, my voice quiet. I stared warily at the silent man in front of me, who continued to glare. "For…real?"

"As you fleshlings say, like a door nail," grounded out Barricade. He was scowled severely, but only stared at the wall.

I stared at him, my fear of him slowly disappearing. Instead, I felt pity. It was an absurd idea, to feel sorry for a creature that was so violent and vicious, but I did. I had always had a profound empathy for others, even those people I despised. War was no game, and apparently, it wasn't a game to alien visitors either. I wondered how many times people could forget that.

A thought suddenly occurred to me.

"Were you lonely?" I asked.

Barricade looked up swiftly, alert. His dark brooding turned into anger. "Lonely?" he snapped, insulted. "Don't begin to mock me, human!"

"I'm not mocking," I replied, glaring back. "I feel sorry for you, okay?"

"Why?" he sputtered, clearly bewildered.

I sighed heavily and sank into the computer chair. "You're a killer, a creep, and a member of a faction of alien invaders that wants my entire species dead," I began, "but obviously, you can feel, and aren't heartless. I might not be a solider, or understand war completely, but I can sympathize with the fact you lost a friend, okay?"

"We were not friends!" growled Barricade.

Sure, I thought sarcastically. "Well, you latched on to Emily, didn't you?" I pointed out. I motioned with my hand. "You don't strike me as the type to get clingy very easily. My hypothesis: you were unconsciously upset over the loss of Frenzy and your other teammates when you ran into my cousin, and latched onto her when she was nice to you."

Barricade slammed his fist down on the computer desk, making me jump in surprise. "Shut up your vocalizer, brat!" he hissed dangerously. "You know nothing!"

"I know more than I want to, damn it," I nearly shouted. My anger made me temporarily fearless of his rage. "I'm not crazy, and I'm not going to shut up!"

I stood up and glared down at him. "And one more thing, Barry," I began angrily, "I don't care what you think. You're still a cartoon character and a movie villain! Your leader sucked, Optimus Prime is voiced by the same guy who voices Eeyore, and Ratchet is still fucking worthless as a medic!"

Barricade, his rage dissipating, stared at me with a bewildered look. I exhaled, inhaled, and tried to stop shaking.

"And damn it, I am not going to shut up," I finished, angry. An unspoken, so there! was also present.

My headache was getting worse, but my breathing and overall anxiety were slowing down to an appropriate level. I could think clearly. I knew standing in front of the Decepticon after reprimanding him so angrily wasn't a good idea, but the stubborn part of me refused to me. I looked down fearlessly into his face, waiting for anything.

Barricade looked angry now, but it was a controlled anger. He sat back in his chair, frowning. I waited, shifting on my feet. He met my gaze easily.

"Well, I guess we'll have to compromise, brat," he said coldly. "You believe what you want to believe and I'll believe what I want to believe."

"That's the first thing I've heard all day that's made any damn sense at all," I replied, crossing my arms against my chest.

Suddenly, I heard the floorboards above us creak. In that moment, a very scary fact smacked me in the face. My parents were still upstairs, waiting. My entire family had freaked out at the sight of Barry Cade chasing me and me flipping out at him. They had been out there the whole time, outside the attic door. Guilt and fear gripped at my chest.

"Aw, shit," I whispered, watching the door warily. "We have to go upstairs before they flip out again."

"There will be many questions," said Barricade darkly.

"No shit." I turned and glared at him. "You go first." And face the rage of a hyperactive mother, dirtbag.

Barricade glared back, but moved forward. "I'll do the talking," he said, turning away as he approached the stairs.

I watched his back, wary now. Let him do the talking? I was a bit afraid of what that would entail. I mean, he was definitely a good speaker and I knew he was supposed to be a good liar…but would that be enough to fix what had happened an hour ago?

Even with my vast imagination, I could not even begin to come up with an excuse for having attacked one another so randomly. Silently, as I followed Barricade up the stairs, I prayed that he was a reaaaaally good liar.

The door at the top was still locked and secure, but I could see the shadows of people coming under the bottom. I gulped. This would be even more terrifying than facing Barricade alone.

Barricade wordlessly unlocked the door and stepped out into the dining room. I followed hesitantly and look around. Several members of my family had been sitting around, waiting, and had all jumped up simultaneously when the door had opened. Then, they froze when they spotted me and Barricade. Both of us froze in a similar fashion.

"Hi?" I asked, completely lost.

"Hey," began Barricade, with false friendliness. "What's up, guys?"

My family just stood there and stared at the two of us. I saw a couple people check us out with disturbed stares and I flushed red. What were they expecting? Messed up hair and disheveled clothes? I had once considered Barricade to be as sexy as a robot could be; now, I highly disagreed. It was rather disgusting even to think about.

My mother was the first to gather her wits and rush over to me. She made a move to grab me, but I held up my hands weakly.

"Mom, calm down," I tried to say.

"Are you alright?" she exclaimed.

"I'm fine. Just chill and I'll explain—!"

"How do you know this man?"

Ah, how does one respond to a question like that asked by an overly emotional and irate mother who just witnessed her youngest daughter get pummeled by a large, gruff man?

"Uhh," I began, unintelligently. I really had no idea what to say.

"We wanted it to be a surprise," Barricade replied smoothly. I turned my head rigidly and I saw Barricade smiling at my mother with the most angelic grin I had ever seen in my life.

My family stared back, expectant, confused, alarmed.

"Rebecca signed up for a specialized unit of the United States Army," continued the Decepticon flawlessly. "The Youth Terrorist Prevention Division. It focuses on early integration of young Americans into military based projects with emphasis on the Army Corps."

At that very moment, I recall thinking something along the lines of , but I said nothing. I gaped up at Barricade, speechless. Of all the things he could have said…that was…not good.

"Army?" my mother screeched.

"Junior army," Barricade quickly amended. He shifted, standing taller, and suddenly, I was in the presence of a mature, professional man who gave both my parents a serious look. "Mr. and Mrs. Walters, I would like congratulate you both on having such a brave and committed daughter. Her interest in joining the army after high school next year has given her the rare opportunity to join this unit. I work for the police force in Boise, but I'm also a liaison for the US Army's recruitment office."

"Barry!" exclaimed Emily, who was standing to our right. She looked surprised as well as impressed. "You never told me you were in the army!"

"106th Infantry in Iraq," replied Barricade, giving her a quick smile. "I never thought to tell you, baby. Sorry."

Dear God, I was ready to cry.

"What is this, exactly?" my dad asked, wary.

Barricade, yet again, saved the day. "The program focuses on giving teens like Becky training on how to handle terror-based situations. The plan is to have the program expand to the schools as well." He reached over, put his arm around my shoulder companionably, yanked me over and grinned brightly at my parents. "I'm her recruitment sponsor."

My mother crossed her arms against her chest, extremely angry now. "I don't understand how this has anything to do with you attacking my daughter," she snapped.

"Training exercise, ma'am," replied Barricade. He clapped his hand against my back—rather hard—and laughed. "Beck's a real hard worker. When we found out that we're going to become relatives, we decided to do a test run of our terrorist project for the whole family to see. Becky did everything that was required of her during a terrorist attack." He grinned. "I have to admit, I may have gone overboard, but I guess we just wanted to impress you all."

"Ha, yeah, totally cool stuff," I added, too dumbstruck to really say anything coherent.

Joining the army was something I toyed around with before, when my cousin Tony went in a few months ago, but I never really considered. I mean, I didn't even believing in owning guns. I couldn't kill people willingly. But apparently I was joining the army now. Thank you, Barricade. So. Freaking. Much.

"We'll talk about this at home," my mother ground out, giving me the nastiest look. I smiled back nervously. I'd be lucky if I made it home at all.

Not only was I the only one getting in trouble right then, Barricade was finding a way to totally screw me over in the future as well.

It was not fair. But I couldn't complain now. I was ready to kill something. Namely all Ford Mustangs by the name of Barricade.

"We're sorry for keeping it a secret for so long," Barricade added cheerfully. Unknown to my family looking at us, Barricade gripped the back of my arm painfully. "Right, Becky?"

"Y-yeah," I stuttered. I cleared my throat and tried to project a positive image. "I wanted to surprise you, mom. I know you don't like us kids joining the army, but, uh, I wanted to…um, serve my country."

"A true American!" said Barricade proudly.

And you're an illegal alien invader who recently tried to take over the Goddamn planet, I snapped back to him mentally, even while I beamed up at him with false pride. The moment I find out where Optimus Prime is, your ass is grass!

He never did hear my threat, but that was the least of our concerns then. I turned and saw some of my family believed us—the other half was not so sure, including my parents. I swallowed nervously. There wasn't much we could do about it. I wasn't screaming for help or denying anything, so they had to accept that I wasn't being forced to do this. (Because if I was, they all knew I wouldn't be letting the douche push me around. That wasn't my scene.)

But it was pretty unbelievable. My Aunt Sheri was good with computers. She'd probably try to look this up. I was luckily good with computers, too. Some quick finagling could get us a semi-official looking website. I could make up fliers and brochures. If they wanted more official documents they could go as Barry Cade, because I refused to let him just dump all this on me.

"Yeeeeah," I began, grinning more comfortably now. I slapped my arm around Barry's back, mimicking him. "You can check with Barry for the more detailed stuff. He's one of the most trustworthy guys I know. You're so lucky, Em! Barry's like my best friend, so I know he's the man for you. Ask him to see his medals. Did you know he got the Purple Heart for saving the president?"

Payback was beautiful. Barricade winced, but couldn't say or do anything else. Emily was practically beaming with pride at her fiancée and many of my family members were obviously being swayed over by this.

"Right on, man!" said my cousin Jeffery, grinning. He was Tony's brother and thus was very supportive of the Armed Forces. His mother and many of the other older members of my family nodded approvingly.

Barricade's grip on my arm tightened marginally, but it was enough to let me know that my plan to annoy him worked. I grinned up at him, though he didn't look back down at me, happily reassuring myself that this would not be the only time I would seek revenge on the Decepticon.

"Well," my father began awkwardly, "I think after all that, we should get going."

"Aw," Emily said, unhappy. "I wanted to hear more about this. I had no idea you two knew each other."

"Don't worry, Em," I said, giving her what I thought was a comforting smile. "Me an' Barry still have training to do, so I'll, uh, be around…I guess?"

"Oh, yes, she will," confirmed Barricade, beaming at his bride-to-be. He moved over and gave her a half-hug, smiling down at her fondly.

"We'll talk," my mother replied darkly. She was still not impressed by our excuse.

"Yeah, well, I'll see you all later," I said, looking at everyone. God, I wanted to be anywhere but there.

Good-byes and well wishes were exchanged as my immediate family and I made our way over to where the coats hung by the door. With one last look around, I caught Emily's attention and waved slightly.

"Bye, Emily. Bye, Barry," I said, grinning almost painfully.

"Good-bye, Becky," replied Emily, cheerful.

"Yeah, bye, Rebecca," added Barricade, smirking. Our eyes met and a series of silent I will kill you looks were exchanged simultaneously before we both looked away.

"Come on," my mother muttered as we pulled on our coats. I ignored her and hurriedly pulled my arms through the sleeves of my coat. The sooner I was out of that house, away from that creep…

My sister waited for me at the door. "You were such a weirdo tonight," she said, frowning.

"Yeah, well, prepare for me to get even weirder," I warned quietly, pushing past her and out the door into the cold night air.

The change of temperature helped clear my head and I trudged over to our car, not bothering to wait for my family to catch up. I had so much to do and think about. The first thing I had to worry about was to get myself together mentally. It could be worse, I kept telling myself. This was new and scary, but I had to preserve through all the weirdness.

"Dude, I just totally threw a vase at a Decepticon," I muttered to myself. That didn't seem as strange to say as I thought it would have been.

Life, as it seemed, was suddenly much odder than it had been that morning. And I had a gut feeling that it was only going to get worse from then on…

.


End Chapter 2.


.

Becky has a death wish. Definitely.

Notes
-Part of this is inaccurate. "I" only saw the movie thirteen times—six times in theatres, one time in IMAX, and six times at home. :) "Nerd" is quite appropriate.
-"Best Internet searcher" – I'm serious. If I can't find something on the Internet, it doesn't exist (online at least.) End of story.
-I mean Ratchet-fans no offense. But seriously he's so worthless. He's saved about three lives total throughout all the series and was entirely useless during the '07 film. XD Poor Ratchet.
-And no, Walters is not "my" real last name. :P Stalkers.
-The 106th Infantry Division was a unit of the United States Army in World War II well known to be the hardest hit American unit of the Battle of the Bulge. (Source: Wikipedia). Good going, 'Cade.

Part three comin' up soon! Review please!