A/N: I know many people think there is only rivalry between Mrs Hughes and Mrs Patmore, but I disagree: Elsie would never have comforted Beryl if they didn't like each other at all. Anyway, just wanted to clearify that. Also: Beryl Patmore doesn't get enough love in fanfiction, so I thought I'd bestow some on her!
As always: reviews very welcome and we are getting into fluffier territory!


Chapter 2

Finding comfort

After the knock, she went about her day in a haze. She was tired and disappointed. With every task she performed routinely, she felt as if there was a gaping hole where her heart used to be. Someone had filled it with needles and pins that stung her with every move she made. Beryl Patmore remarked that she had not had a single bite to eat as they all left the table after dinner.

"I'm not hungry."

"You must eat something." Beryl handed her a fresh bowl of stew. She sighed.

"I really can't." she said, but she sat down and picked up her spoon.

Beryl took her free hand in hers.

"Can't, or won't? You are not... sick... are you?" the cook asked gingerly.

She shook her head. A tear fell in the stew. They both pretended it didn't happen.

"Eat, petal."

She picked up her spoon and ate while the cook sat with her in companionable silence. She heard his footsteps come nearer, first down the stairs, then on the tiles in the hall and through the door. He sat down next to her.

She didn't look at him. His hand slid from his own leg to hers. She didn't shake him off. There was no point. They had had a disagreement about something neither could change. There simply wasn't a way a Butler and Housekeeper would live away from the house and there was no way a child could live in the servants' quarters.

At least that was what Charles thought, she knew.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, but I will be, seeing as I have little choice."

Beryl gave Charles a pointed look and left the room.

"Is that how you feel?" He turned to her, trying to find her eyes. "Like you have no choice?"

She pushed around the leftover stew in her bowl.

"Yes."

"But it is what you really want?"

"Yes." More than anything, it is bigger than myself, I can't control this feeling, this longing.

"We could move away. I could get a different job. Maybe we could run a shop between us."

She looked up. Was he willing to give up all he had here? All he had worked for?

Their legacy, their comfort, their lives, only because she longed for more? His offer made her feel close to him, like she belonged with him. That there was nothing wrong with her wish, but is was inconvenient. Impossible.

"No, we couldn't. This is our home. We are part of Downton in a way we could never be part of anything else. I must simply try to pull myself together and learn to be content with what I do have, which is an awful lot." She put her hand on his and squeezed it softly.

"I have you, which is more than I dared to dream about."

"Maybe you could talk to Her Ladyship."

"Only if you are sure." Her heart leapt and hammered in her chest.

He leaned over and kissed her softly.

"I'm sure."

"So if Her Ladyship says it's alright..."

"Yes. Then..." And he smiled at her and her heart lurched. She got up from her seat and wrapped herself around him.


A/N: What will Lady Grantham say? Do we find out? At least Charles and Elsie are no longer so far apart, which is all good in my book.