Here is chapter two, please let me know what you think
BELLA 17 years old (first Friday of senior year)
It was cold today but not as cold as yesterday, the sun almost broke through the clouds but I wished it wouldn't. I walked unknowingly to school, my life was a total drag.
I did it to get a bit of exercise and because I refused a car. My dad could do better with the money.
I promised him he could buy me one for my eighteenth birthday but till then I enjoyed the brisk air from yesterday's rainstorm.
I lowered my head just in time to see a huge rain puddle in the middle of the sidewalk. I looked into it for a moment and saw my best – none existing – friend. I could see him clearly. I crouched down and held my hand to the water.
"I miss you Edward." I said and waved my hand through the very cold water.
He disappeared for the second time and didn't return. I walked further taking deep breaths, smelling the apple and honey sent he wore so well. I banned myself from thinking and rushed to school.
I made it in time and sat down on a little wooden bench. My mind strayed to my dad. He was the best dad you could ask for but in his eyes you could see the sparkle was gone. I could ask him anything though.
The bell rang and I waked to my locker. I looked at my hand for the hundredth time again and trailed to my wrist where my bracelet was still sitting. Every morning I would wake up and search for it afraid that it will also disappear.
I hate you Edward. I thought and exchanged my books for the next period. I kept my eyes down and didn't look where I was going and someone bumped into me. I was not in the mood for being pushed around by the stupid people in this school.
I stood up immediately. "Excuse you." I said and walked off but someone grabbed my arm.
My eyes shot up, I wasn't in the mood for mike today. "Please I don't want-" I stumbled. It was the bronzed hair green eyed god. It was him. It was Edward. He came back. I smiled and pulled him closer. It felt like everything was just right, my life made a complete 360 and I couldn't describe how happy I was.
"Edward is that you?" I asked. He pushed me away and had a terrible look on his face. I blinked my eyes, it was him. My eyes trailed to his wrist, it was there. He still had it.
I took a step back and he smiled. "I know I'm new but I hope all the girls greet me like that." He said. Wait all the girls. Nobody could see him. He didn't really exist. I took a deep breath.
"What do you mean, no one can see you." I said. He smiled again. Oh he was hot. "Hey don't call me invisible because I'm new." He said. He wasn't making sense.
Jessica came from behind him and placed a hand on his arm. "Excuse her Edward since her mom died she's gone crazy. Let's go to class." Jessica said and pulled him away.
No, he wasn't real. He was here for me because I need him. I tried to think of an explanation. I tried to will my heart to stop beating so loud.
I was back at the house and in the tree house but Edward wasn't with me, I made him a bracelet with beads. It could adjust so he could wear it for the rest of his life. It had a simple B and E on it and it was enough for me. I wanted to call him but would it be stupid.
Then he appeared. "Hey I was just thinking about you." I said. "I know." He grinned. I wish he wasn't imaginary. "I made you something." I said and handed the bracelet to him. He slid it on his arm and tightened it.
He grabbed my hand and carefully he slid an identical bracelet on my arm, being careful of the burn mark. I smiled. "Bella one day your wish may come true." He said and smiled.
What, did it happen, is Edward real? Wow duh of course he is. Jessica can see him but . . . but . . . he cant . . . he doesn't remember me. I said and for the first time in how long I felt the urge to cry.
Whatever, he's not worth it.
Lunch arrived and I walked to the usual table, I glanced at Jessica's table and there, Edward was sitting with them with another very big guy and a small girl who looked like she couldn't be in high school yet.
I felt scared just looking at him. I haven't changed that much in a couple of years. I replaced my short straight, light brown hair for long darker curls.
I also changed my pink shoes for black Levis. I felt comfortable in the type of close but Rose the fasionista was never giving up on my wardrobe choice, or maybe she just wasn't giving up on me.
Edward looked at me but I looked away. I didn't look up again. Jasper and Rose, the perfect twins sat next to me and got my attention.
Jaspers blond curls were perfect with his blue eyes and Rose the blond bombshell goddess. What did I do to deserve, no looks and no love.
"Look at that beautiful guy." Rose said pointing at the huge buff guy at Edward's table. "The best," I mumbled and she gave me a look. "Not our fault you're still a virgin." She said. "It's no ones fault Rose, it's a choice." I said. Almost every day I would be teased about my virginity status.
"Are you seriously going to wait until marriage?" Jasper asked almost choking. "If it's what it takes, I just want it to be the right guy." I said and they didn't comment further. If only they knew that no one would ever live up to him, not in a million years.
They knew how strong I felt about the whole, right guy thing and they respected it, kinda.
"Bella do you want Oreos?" Jasper asked. "Eeuw no. that stuff is nasty." I said and leaned back.
"Bella it's not like your fat, you can eat these." They said at the same time and laughed; stupid twins. "I don't like them." I said not sure if I was speaking about them or the Oreos. Rose shrugged. "What about chocolate then?"
She said breaking a piece and placing it in my hand. Oh no Memory, please go away. I put it on the table.
"I'm heading to the bathroom." I said and almost sprinted out of the room, the only thing holding me back was the fact that I may fall flat on my face.
I walked into a stall and sat in the corner pushing my knees up to my chest. Like the memories weren't enough, he had to come back, for real this time. I don't believe in love, and that is final.
I gave up on myself and walked back to the lunch room and for the second time I bumped into Edward. I hate myself. "Sorry," I whispered and walked further. "Hey it's okay, about this morning, maybe you mistaken me with another guy." He said, just as nice as always Edward.
"No it was a . . . uhm . . . dare . . . bye . . ." I said and stormed to the lunch room just in time to hear the bell ring.
I was standing In front of my mirror, internally kicking myself to accept the visit to Angela. I was tired, I wanted to sleep I didn't want to go to her.
I heard the great news today, new neighbors. I just made it clear to the old ones I hate them now I have to start all over again. I got into a nice turquoise and grey dress that made it to above my knees with grey flats and I "accidently" left my jacket at home, I was planning to make something up.
Angela picked me up and we drove to her house.
It was about five and I had to be home by eleven, normally my dad would let me hang out but I made up a curfew for myself whenever I didn't want to go visit someone. I truly was becoming a hermit.
Its not that I didn't like Angela she was very sweet but I liked to keep my distance. We watched a movie witch I really had no interest in.
It was about ten when Angela passed out and I decided I would quickly walk home. Her house wasn't far from mine and Forks was a save place.
I left her a note and swiftly walked to my house. It was kind of cold and knowing Forks it would rain soon.
I was almost there when I heard footstep witch made me go faster. "Hey wait up." Someone yelled but I walked and ignored him. "Bella stop," he said and because I'm stupid I did.
I turned around and saw mike, somehow I didn't find him too scary. He grabbed my arm and I pulled back but he just grabbed my other arm. It hurt but I was not going to let him know that.
"Don't run away from me baby." he said. I got scared. Why would he stop me and want to talk at this hour. Maybe he didn't want to talk. No it can't be, its Mike for goodness sake.
Calm down and make sure. "I really need to go home; my dad will be breathing down my neck." I said and smiled.
"I don't care a shit about your daddy; I'm going to have my fun." He said. Oh no your not. I kneed him in the thigh missing his crotch but he bend forward and I ran but soon enough he grabbed my ankle and with a loud yelp I landed on the cold concrete.
My skin was bruised and the blood vessels formed on my arms threatening to break the skin. He wrapped his huge hands around my waist and yanked me up.
He dragged me by my waist to the near by allay while I kicked and screamed against his steel grip. I never knew he could be so strong.
He pushed me against the brick wall and I knew the bruises were already sitting there. His one hand held my waist while the other snaked up my thigh, reaching to my underwear.
I yelped and tried to pull away but it didn't help.
"Pull away one more time bitch I dare you." He said and slapped me across the face. It stung like crazy.
He pulled my underwear off and it fell to my ankles.
"Bella, this can be enjoyable for you to." He said. I snorted.
"Fuck you." I said and tried to run.
"I warned you." He said and this time he pulled my body away from the wall and then rammed me back into it.
I felt a loss for words and I wanted to crawl into the fetus position but seeing that a stranger had a hand on my thigh it wouldn't work.
I struggled a little more until he hit me so hard I could taste blood in my mouth. He then forced a kiss on my and stuck his tongue in my mouth. I couldn't get away but I stayed numb and didn't kiss back. I wished for Edward.
I closed my mouth and bit his tongue hard enough for him to subtract it from my mouth, breaking the kiss.
"Wrong move," he said and he pulled of his pants. Maybe if I begged.
"Please, I won't tell anyone, I'm sorry. Please leave me alone. I'll do anything." I said.
"I'm doing anything if you want it or not." He said and grinned. He pulled me to him and started kissing me everywhere.
My dress was caught to mid thigh and he pulled it up even more.
"NO,"I trashed against him. He took something from his pocket, it was small and metallic.
It was a razor blade. He held it the skin above my eye and pressed hard. I could fell the blood coming from there. I cried and kicked until I felt the worst pain ever, he slid the razor to above my ear.
". . . Please, don't . . ." I tried but it was already too late. My loud yells were muffled by his mouth.
I gave up I didn't have something to fight for anymore. While I became numb I felt my soul leave my body, I so desperately wanted to give up but there was Edward, telling me to fight. He slapped me against the cheek again and my eyes flew open when I felt his mouth on my neck.
"I just need to do something." He said and he bit down onto my neck, destroying the nerves and flesh. He knew the mark wouldn't go away. I looked up at him and saw the huge scar on his cheek. With the last bit of fight and Edward somewhere in my mind I shoved him so hard he fell into the opposite wall. I heard a crack and I ran.
On queue it started to rain, it couldn't get worse now. I was dripping wet when I made it into the street.
I wrapped my arms across my torso, holding myself together and looked down while I walked. I couldn't see the time because my watch was broken.
I walked as fast as I could but with every step I took the pain grew but I pushed it out of my mind and thought about my dad. I made contact with the ground a couple of times but I managed to get up.
I was almost home; I could see my house when I heard footsteps again from the opposite direction. Not again, please let him kill me this time.
I didn't turn around I kept walking with my face down.
"Bella," I knew that voice, it was Edward but he couldn't see me like this. I looked up slightly. "Bella are you okay?" He asked coming closer.
"Stay back." I warned and walked further.
"Take my umbrella." He offered I shook my head
"I'm already wet." I said but still looked down.
"Are you okay Bella?" He asked.
I nodded but I couldn't control the feeling in my stomach any longer and launched myself to the nearest bush and let go of everything I kept inside.
"Bella God . . . let me." He said but I pulled away.
"Leave me alone." I said and continued walking. I looked back to see a horrid expression on Edwards face . . . I started to walk even faster. I knew he would tell someone.
I made it home and with so much effort I reached for the keys under the mat. I opened the door and pushed it open, forgetting to lock. I walked upstairs but had to clutch the railing for dear life.
I managed to stumble over the top stair and my energy level didn't allow me to get up again. I could no longer hold the pain. I yelled at the pain striking through my body.
"Urggg" o heard a loud ripple coming from my mouth again and I heard a door open.
"Bella, oh God Bella what happened?" My dad asked. My dad, I was saved. I made it home.
"Dad, I'm sorry." Is al I could get out and a loud whimper escaped me again. He hesitated to touch me but he pulled me into his lap. He tried to soothe me but it wasn't working.
"Honey oh what happened." My dad sobbed. He pulled out his phone but I couldn't hear him speak.
"Daddy, help . . . it hurts . . . make it go away." I sobbed and chocked. He held me tighter. "Don't worry well get through this." He said while he rocked me forward and backward.
I heard the doorbell ring and my dad yelling and then I heard another man voice.
"Who are you?" My dad asked. I got a couple of words.
"Dr. Cullen . . . new. . . . Dr Snow is gone . . ." he said. It's all I could hear.
"Please help her." My dad said while the doctor crouched over me. My dad didn't let me go. I couldn't see the doctor my eyes were closed.
"Bella can I give you something for the pain." He asked. I nodded.
"Make it go away." I whispered and rested my head on my dad's shoulder.
"Please save my baby girl . . ." Is all I could make out. "This will sting." The doctor said and I felt a prick in my arm. It was nothing compared to the pain I have.
I woke up from vivid nightmares and saw my dad sitting on the chair next to my room. He was asleep. Without moving I could already feel the worse pain consuming my body.
I moved slightly and whimpered from the pain. Unfortunately I woke my dad.
"Bella honey" He asked.
"Daddy," I whispered my mouth was sore, my head my whole body and mostly my soul. I would never be complete again, I was broken.
"Shhh Bella I know it's hard but I need to ask you a couple of questions." He said and I nodded. "Can you remember anything about how the guy looked?"
Dr Cullen told him that was clear. I didn't want to remember.
"He had blond brown hair and a cut on his cheek. I don't . . . really know . . ." I said and it hurt even when I spoke.
"Okay honey it's enough for now." He said patting my arm.
"I'm sorry honey but I need to get to the station." He said.
"Okay," I whispered.
"I'm going to find this fuc- thing." He said.
"Do you want someone to come and stay with you?" He asked. I shook my head.
"I want to be alone." I said and after we argued, well he did I just shook my head. He agreed to leave me here alone. I closed my eyes again and fell into a restless sleep.
". . . Please, don't . . ." I tried but it was already too late.
I woke up screaming in my bed covered in sweat. I stirred in my bed and opened my eyes. I scanned the room and nobody was here.
I was in my bed, save. I turned on my side and saw the picture of my mom on the table next to my bed, what she would think of me.
I got in a sitting position and took the picture. My arm was bruised badly and I wanted to see the extent of the rest of the damage.
"Mom, I miss you so much." I said. I held the picture to my chest a little bit and placed it back.
I nearly stumbled to the bathroom because of the pain and it felt uncomfortable. I went to the full length mirror. I wasn't going to hide the truth to myself. I saw the brace on my arm and sighed.
I shed my clothes and took a deep breath before I looked into the mirror. My hands flew to my eyes and I started crying immediately.
It hit me like boulders crashing into me. I was almost raped. Someone almost took the most important thing away from me.
I opened my eyes again. The damage was brutal. My forehead had stitches where the razor . . . I took a deep breath. I saw some other cuts and the rest of my body was blue and black. I couldn't watch anymore.
I walked to my closet and got out a pair of boxers and my biggest shirt before getting back into the bed.
I woke up several times by the nightmare hunting my sleep. I would shutter, shake and fall back to sleep. My dad brought me food sometime witch I didn't really eat. I didn't know the time or day but I knew I would surly kill myself if I had to stay here in my bed.
My dad came in the room when I woke up again screaming. He looked hurt and angry.
"Bella are you okay honey?" He asked and I nodded. He sat on the chair again and took my hand.
I wanted to pull back but it was my dad. He wouldn't hurt me.
"What time is it, never mind that what day is it." I asked.
"It's Sunday honey and it's eight." He said, Sunday?
"I want to go to church with you." I said he sighed.
"I don't think you should." He said.
"Dad it kills me to be here the whole time please it's just an hour." I asked.
"Okay honey we can go but we're coming home afterwards." He said. I smiled and got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. I needed to get out. I took a shower and got dressed in a plain green dress but I wore a mid arm length sweater with buttons to cover some of the bruises, I added leggings.
I curled my hair and it covered the cut. I walked downstairs and my dad was waiting for me. We walked to the car together while he helped me. It wasn't hard to walk but it did hurt. He opened my door for me.
"You look beautiful Bella." He said. Whatever, I looked half used and broken.
"Thanks dad." I said and got in.
The drive was silent and we reached the church. We sat at our usual place and I earned a few glares of curiosity. I ignored them. Nobody knew yet and I wanted to keep it this way.
The serves ended and my dad urged us to leave but we ran into the Blacks. Jacob was wheeling his dad out of the church. The poor man lost his legs in a car accident.
"Hey Bella you look amazing." He said.
"You look pretty good to . . . once you clean up." I joked.
Billy convinced my dad to get something to drink with him and we walked to the church kitchen and Jacob was next to me. He was my best friend but he couldn't attend Forks high so he settled for a school near his home.
My dad and Billy got chatting and I sat on a bench next to Jacob, with enough space between us for another person, Edward, I had to stop this.
"What have you been up to Bells?" He asked me.
"Oh you know, same old same old." I said. I wanted my bed.
"Yes same here." He said. I wanted Edward.
He scooted a little closer and I scooted a little further. He tried to take my hand but I shook it of. I would hold his hand occasionally, I never knew why but it was just the way we did it. Did, I couldn't do it again.
"What's wrong Bella?" He asked.
"Nothing, I just . . . we need to go." I said and got up. I walked to my dad slowly and Jacob was by my side in an instant.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing okay." I spat and walked faster.
"Dad, can we go home now?" I asked. He looked at me and nodded. We got to the car after we greeted the Blacks but Jacob had disappeared. We drove home in silent. Comfortable silent, he didn't have to fill the silent gaps and I was very glad about that.
It was now Wednesday and I convinced my dad to go to school. He wouldn't Monday and Tuesday I fell over the chair and he said I 'needed to take another day of' but today I shifted all the chairs away and I was going to school.
I wanted to do this, get my life back on track. He wanted to drive me though and I didn't care, I didn't want to walk ever again.
There weren't many cars there yet, because we made it there early. I greeted my dad and walked to my locker. Rosalie and Jasper stood at my locker, how they knew I would be at school. They must be furious with me.
I walked slower then normal and I approached the locker.
"Bella thank God you're alive. Where were you? It's called a cell phone Bells." Rose said but she wasn't angry.
"Guys I'm so sorry, see I well . . . fell of the stairs and I had to stay in bed." I said. I am a terrible person.
"Oh no are you okay?" Jasper asked.
"Yes I'm good, it hurts but I'll live." I said and smiled, barely jasper.
"Fine but next time your away were checking on you." He said and smiled. Rose took my hand and I had to fight the urge to pull back.
The rest of the day went by sluggishly. I didn't loose much work but everyone wanted to know where I was and I had to lie to their face. It was lunch and I made my way to our normal table, saying something was normal felt really weird.
Rose was sitting already and I joined her.
"Bella I hope it's okay but we met new people." She said. I didn't really care so I nodded. I got up to get salad and when I went back to the table three more figures were sitting there.
I took my seat next to Rose and looked at them. It was the buff guy from the other day with the little pixie girl and then I saw him again; Edward was sitting at my table.
"My name is Emmet," the big guy said and held his hand out I didn't want to touch him but I couldn't be rude so I stuck my hand out and placed it into his. I pulled back quickly.
"I'm Bella." I said and he smiled.
I looked at the girl next.
"Alice" she said and I shook her hand too.
"I heard you fell of the stairs, I'm sorry. I'm glad your okay." She said. I smiled and nodded. I glanced at Edward, he knew I didn't fall off the stairs because he found me right after the . . . "it's nice to meet you guys." I said.
Edward didn't extend his hand or say hello, he just kept his head down. We talked about random stuff witch I didn't really have an interest in.
I saw Jessica from the corner of my eye and I could see she was up to no good. I looked away and listened to the blubbering of my old and new friends. Apparently they were perfect for each other. Jasper and Alice was sitting close to each other and so were Rose and Emmett.
"Bella watch out" Jasper said and I automatically brought my head to my knees with my hands over the back of my head.
It hurt a lot being in this position though. I got up after I heard a smash and saw a tomato on the floor; it was more of a pulp now. I glared at Jessica and she was mad it didn't hit me.
I buried my face in the hole of my arms on the table and sighed.
"Why would she do that to Bella?" Alice asked.
"Because she hates her" Rose answered.
"Why I know I only know Bella like a few minutes but she seems harmless." Emmet said.
"It's because Bella has everything a girl could want and she has the respect of the whole school. They hate her and so does anyone who mingles with Jessica." Rose said and that almost made me tear up, almost.
She was such a good friend and I know I should tell her but how, how do I tell her I nearly lost everything and how can I tell her how?
"I didn't know that, when we sat there last Friday they were nice." Emmett said.
"It's an act to see if they can get into your fucking pants." Rose spat. I didn't want this anymore, why are they defending me?
I felt a hand on my back and immediately out of instinct I shrugged away. My head snapped up to see who it was and I saw Jasper looking at me in horror.
"Sorry I . . . sorry." I said and with that I ran to my next class.
I made my way to my usual seat and I startled when I felt someone move next to me. It was Edward; he had to sit next to me?
"I'm sorry." He said and I nodded. The teacher started to hand out the assignments.
I forgot all about the paper I had to write and I handed it to him quickly while the other got theirs back already. I was gone for two days. He smiled and I saw Edward got an A, it was good.
Guys didn't usually pay attention to writing. I waited for him to continue but we were assigned a next paper on something you wish never happened. Wow, what a coincidence. I started writing about the one thing I would never get back.
The teacher marked my paper and gave it back.
"Isabella will you read the circled part?" He asked.
"Sir, I rather not." I said but he didn't give up.
"Will someone read this?" he asked waving my paper in the air. I gasped. Jessica stuck her hand up and I knew she would make fun of me.
Edward must have seen the distress in my eyes and he stepped forward, even worse. This was about him. He got up and took the paper.
He stood there for a moment and started to read in his velvet voice that could melt stone.
He read my paper while looking at me the whole time.
My heart is dead except for the occasional thump that reminds me to breath.
My blood is no use but it takes air to my lungs and it keeps me alive.
I fell nothing, I'm numb. I feel faded into the corner of the room and the overpowering blackness, soothes me for another day of hell.
I didn't want to hear anything anymore and I could feel the tears threatening to spill.
I used to love the sun, playing all day and tearing myself away from the glittering light for bed time.
I used to love the chocolate bits you give to me and the sweet taste lingering on my tongue.
I loved the tree house and the secrets we shared, while eating burned popcorn and Oreos.
My blood was rushing to my ears and it felt like I was going to vomit there and then.
My heart is a wrench that keeps me alive and holds me together but I fall apart. I'm only human.
I see you in the puddle created but the previous night's rainstorm.
I feel you in my room when I sit in the corner and eat anything as long as it's not Oreos.
I smell you in the damp air while I walk to school.
I taste the sweet memories that lingers in my life unexpected, unknown and unwanted.
Now, the sun burns my skin and I try to escape it as much as I can.
Chocolates over sweet taste make me nauseas and I turn them down.
The smell of burned popcorn and Oreos fills my nostrils and I feel like I need to get away.
I know I enjoy sensing you everywhere. It keeps me going another day but how I would love to take a piece of chocolate in my hand and taste the sweet secrets I hold so dear.
I could barely breathe now and the whole class was silent. He finished and he looked strange. He started to half laugh, almost in disbelieve.. Was he laughing at my paper? Did he think I was mental now? I didn't care.
I got up and grabbed my bag before running outside. I didn't care about what the teacher said or thought but Edward laughed at my paper.
