Chapter 2: Introductions and Explanations


See Chapter 1 for disclaimers, etc.


The house looked much the same.

That irked Jayne in a way he couldn't explain. Surely it should look... older, or smaller, or different somehow. It should look like it'd noticed that he wasn't the same kid who'd left all those years ago.

He looked down at River, who was holding his hand. She stood out on that ordinary, mundane street like a pearl in a box of apples, beautiful but just... wrong. Not fitting in. She fitted with him… soft and sweet in his arms, a deadly firebrand in a fight, a comfortable, silent presence beside him between-times. But she didn't fit here, in the home he'd outgrown.

He wanted his family to like her. Trouble was, he wasn't even sure how most of them were feelin' about him right now, let alone the idea of him bringing home a woman. Let alone a woman like River.

"Nervous," River said softly, looking up at him as they approached the door. "Reception in doubt, creating concern."

"Yeah." Jayne squeezed her hand gently, then squared his shoulders and knocked on the door.

It opened and he had to look down further than he expected to find his mother's face. He'd forgotten how much he'd grown after he left home. She looked older, of course, and tired, but the big smile on her face made some of the nervous twitches go away. "Hi, Ma," he said quietly, leaning down to give her a hug.

"There's my boy," she said, her smile wobbling as she hugged him back very tightly. "An' where the hell you been all this time?"

"Workin', mostly." Jayne shrugged. "I'm sorry I ain't been back, Ma. I just… well, when I left…" He trailed off uncomfortably.

"I know." She cleared her throat, patting his back as he pulled away. "Don't you think on it. We're all just glad as you're home."

"All?" Jayne shifted uncomfortably. "Who's here?"

"Me and your pa and your brothers and sisters, of course." His ma sniffed a bit. "Figured you'd best wait to meet your nieces and nephews until you've rested up some." She looked past him and blinked, apparently noticing River for the first time. "And who's this young lady?"

Jayne tugged River forward, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. She looked nervous. "Ma, this is River Tam. She's… uh…" He wasn't entirely sure how to explain it, so he stuck to tradition. "She's my girl."

His mother would've welcomed River with open arms if she'd been a grandchild, which Jayne was uncomfortably aware she was young enough to be. As it was, the blue eyes Jayne had inherited went just a little wary. As it was, she nodded politely enough and managed a small smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, River. I'm Bess Cobb."

"I am honoured to meet you," River said in a small voice. She sounded extra refined and Core-ish, which Jayne knew to mean she was nervous. "I hope I am not intruding on your reunion."

"Of course not." It had to be said, and Bess even made it sound almost convincing. Jayne knew that the refined tones were telling against River, though. "Come in, both of you."

She pulled them inside, into a hall narrower and smaller than Jayne remembered. He sidled past his mother, then paused awkwardly when he saw a boy - no, a young man, about Simon's age - standing by the stairs. The kid was pale and thin, shorter than most of the family, but he had the family eyes. "Mattie?"

The young man, who wasn't nothing at all like the cute toddler Jayne remembered, nodded and held out a thin hand. "Hi, Jayne."

They clasped hands awkwardly, then Jayne saw Mattie's eyes slide towards River. "This is River."

"You're shorter than I expected, from what Jayne's said about you." Mattie smiled a little bit, offering her his hand.

River took it, her tiny fingers vanishing among Mattie's long ones. "My attempts to grow larger meet with continued failure. I'm saddened by it." She smiled at him. "I am pleased to meet you."

"I'm pleased to meet you, too." Mattie's smile got a little bigger, and Jayne frowned. He hoped Mattie wasn't going to take to fancying River, 'cause he'd feel real bad if he had to smack his invalid baby brother's head in.

Things didn't get any less awkward when they'd been ushered through into the shabby 'family room' that at least looked a little different. There was a couple of new pictures, some new furniture... at least this room was acknowledging that Jayne had been gone a while.

Most of the rest of the family were there. Jayne's father, looking much greyer but otherwise not changed a whole lot, three women who looked at least a little like the sisters he remembered, and his brother David, recognisable thanks to the scar across his forehead, his brown eyes, and not much else.

Jayne traded awkward handclasps with the men, even more awkward hugs with the women, and turned to River with a little relief. It helped some, knowing she was right there. "This's my girl, River. River, this's the rest of my family. This is my pa, Flynn..." River bowed slightly, in recognition of the head of the family, and Flynn nodded, looking her over thoughtfully.

"This is my sister Sora, an' this is Cailey, and this is Bella. She's the youngest 'cept for Mattie." Sora and Bella were content with nods and smiles, but Cailey gave River a hug. She'd always been Jayne's favourite sister. River returned the hug, looking a bit less tense.

"And this is my other brother, David." David nodded, but he was frowning. What was not to like about River? Wasn't she pretty and smart and all manner of shiny?

"I am honoured." River smiled bravely, but she sidled a little closer to Jayne. "I'm sorry for intruding on your reunion, but Jayne was anxious for me to meet all of you."

She was trying real hard to make sense and to speak so's folk weren't Jayne could understand her, and Jayne beamed at her proudly. She still sounded a little Core-i-fied, but she was doing much better than she usually did when she was nervous. "Well, yeah. After twenty years of tellin' me I'd give up my evil lecherous ways when I met the right girl, I figured Ma was entitled to see that she was right."

That got something of a laugh, which helped ease the tension some. Then David frowned again. "Not to question your undoubtedly fine taste in women, big brother, but didn't she stab you a while back?"

David always had been a mouthy little prick. It'd driven his slower-of-speech big brother crazy. "Well, yeah, but..."

"But what? Seems to me that'd be something of a hitch in a relationship," Flynn said mildly, but the look he was bending on River wasn't exactly kindly.

"And wasn't she crazy? I recall you mentioning in one of them letters about her being crazy." David again. Jayne wondered if smacking him in the mouth still worked to shut him up.

River shifted unhappily, drawing in on herself. "Apologized for the stabbing."

"And it ain't nothing to think on now," Jayne said, putting a possessive arm around River's little shoulders and glaring at David. "River had some…" He looked down at River. "What's that word for brain I'm wantin'?"

She managed a tiny smile, just for him. "Neural."

"Yeah, that's it… some neural damage, like when someone's had a stroke or some such. Got her confused about what was real and what wasn't for a little bit, and it makes it hard for her to talk straight sometimes, but she's okay now." He squeezed River's shoulder, feeling her burrow against his side.

"Well, I'm happy for you, for one," Cailey said firmly. "I figured as you was going to stay a disreputable bachelor until the day you died, da ge. And if River's what it took to get you back home, then I wish you'd found her sooner."

"That's right," Bess said, and Jayne would have to thank Cailey later. Bess had wanted him to come home for a long time, and she'd be at least some in favour of anything that got him there. "Don't you be pickin' at the girl, David."

"Why are you back now?" Sora asked, thoughtful-like. "Just for us t'meet River, or there some other reason?"

"Serenity is wounded," River said slowly, and Jayne could tell she was trying to speak proper. "Our ship. We crashed. Jayne said to come here to make her whole. An… excuse… no, the word is wrong, it's…" She gave Jayne a pleading look.

He rubbed her small back. "It's okay, I got it," he said, giving David a filthy look. "And don't you upset her no more, it makes it hard for her to talk straight."

Sora nodded. "It's all right," she told River, to Jayne's surprise. "My father-in-law had a stroke, few years back. I know how it is. Ain't no hurry… hell, most of us ain't much for fast-talkin' our own selves. You'd know that, knowing Jayne."

River nodded, relaxing a little under Jayne's hand. "The strong silent type," she said, smiling up at Jayne. "He understands when speech comes hard, listens for the sense behind the words."

Jayne returned the smile, just a little. "I can figure what she's tryin' to say, most times."

"You going to settle, now?" Bella asked, speaking for the first time. "The two of you staying?"

Jayne looked at her, feeling the same uncomfortable feeling he did around Mattie. Bella had been four when he'd left, chubby and giggly and annoying. Now here she was, a woman a mite older than Kaylee, married and with two younguns of her own, and he didn't know her at all. "No. I mean, we'll stay for a while, but when Serenity's fixed up we'll be on our way."

"What exactly do you do on Serenity, anyway?" Bella asked, frowning. "You never do say."

"Bella, you hush," Bess said sharply, but the words were spoken. Jayne had never told his family what he did, not in so many words… and they never had asked. "He guards," River said proudly. "Guards the cargo. Guards the girls, when we land somewhere dangerous. Strong left hand to the captain."

Which was true, but he liked how she made it sound better than what he really was. "Serenity's a cargo ship. Can't run cargo out on the Rim without guards, not unless you want your throat cut an' your cargo stole."

"Fair enough," Flynn said, noddling slightly. He looked relieved – while he surely knew that the money Jayne had been sending home was too much to be gained by strictly legitimate means, guarding cargo as might not be quite legal was better than a lot of things Jayne might have been doing (and probably had done, some time or another, not that he'd ever told them that). "How about you, River? What is it you do, on the ship?"

"I help," River said, frowning as she pulled the words together. "I am learning to be a pilot, and to fix Serenity when she's broken."

"River's real smart," Jayne said proudly. "She's gettin' trained up to cover for anyone gets hurt or sick… an' I guess she'll be pilot for a while, on account of Wash getting hurt."

"How'd he get hurt?" Bella asked. Bella seemed to like questions. "Was it when you crashed your ship?"


"No, it's fine. You go ahead and stay. Just send Simon on back so's Kaylee can fuss over him." Mal smiled a little. Even through the small, staticky communicator, he could hear how torn Zoe was. She didn't like leaving Mal alone and unguarded, but she really wanted to spend the night by Wash's bedside. "Really. We're all nice and cosy here, ain't no bounties or any such on our heads, and you got your man to watch over."

"If you're sure, sir. Thank you." Zoe sounded relieved. "Simon's on his way back now.'

"Good. I'll let Kaylee know."

Mal clicked the communicator off and headed back into the boarding-house. Kaylee and Inara were still at the table where they'd eaten supper, talking in low voices. They stopped when he approached, so he figured it was some sort of girly talk not fit for a man's ears. "Hey, little Kaylee," he said, ruffling her hair affectionately. "Zoe's gonna stay the night at the hospital, an' Simon's on his way back here. Figure he'll want feedin' and fussin' and all."

"I'll go save something for him!" Kaylee jumped up, beaming, and headed for the kitchen, where the boarding-house cook was still doling out meals to the latecomers.

Mal wasn't sure how much Kaylee and Simon had managed in the way of cementing their relationship - some kissing and a lot of sentimental mushy-talk, most likely - but they sure seemed happy. And they'd have some privacy over the next week or two...

They weren't the only ones, either. He sat down beside Inara, reclaiming his half-finished tea, and stared into it for a second. No answers there. "We're not on an Alliance ship anymore," he said after another pause.

"No, we're not." Was it his imagination, or did Inara sound nervous?

"Not back on Serenity yet or anything, but this is a reasonably safe berth. Ain't likely anyone'll try to shoot me personal-like."

"Not very likely, no."

"Accidents do happen, of course. Bullet aimed at someone else might hit me, or some such. But I conjure as the chances of that are pretty damn slim."

"I would hope so."

He finished his tea in one gulp, wishing it was something stronger and pushed it away. "Even so, given my luck, I'd sure appreciate it if we could... uh... talk upstairs, away from any accidental shootings or food fights as might commence."

He risked looking at her, and found her smiling. "That would probably be wise," she agreed, that little crease forming at the corner of her mouth the way it did when her smile was a real one. He had a deep and personal fondness for that tiny crease.

"Good. Let's... uh... go then." He stood and offered her his arm, trying to at least fake being a gentleman.

They headed up the stairs, and all too soon they were standing in Mal's little cupboard of a single room - just a bed, a nightstand, and a few hooks on the wall. A cheap place to stay a week or three, comfortable enough for one... but uncomfortably crowded for two. Especially when Inara was one of the two, filling up his room with perfume and looking at him with those eyes that melted his brain and made gibberish come out his mouth. "Uh... you want to sit down?"

Inara shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Right. Good." Mal rubbed a hand through his hair. He kind of wished now that he hadn't set himself up for this, talking about feelings not being his strong point. But he knew there were things had to be said, and it was about time as he said them. "Inara, this is... I want you to know..."

"Yes, Mal?" Her eyes were luminous, her lips slightly parted.

"Okay, don't do that." It came out harsher than he meant and she flinched back a tiny bit. Mal stifled a curse. "I mean, don't interrupt. This is hard enough without you sayin' my name and makin' me all distracted."

"I distract you when I say your name?" The crease was back.

"In all manner of ways, woman, so you just keep quiet until I'm done, all right?"

She nodded, her mouth doing distracting things as she tried not to smile. Mal had to forcibly drag his eyes away from it before he could start talking again.

"See, the thing is... We've always had a certain sort of chemistry, seems to me. Ain't either of us particularly wanted to, least at first, but it's been there right from the start. And it's made things all manner of complicated, what with your trade an' mine."

Inara nodded gravely, though she didn't speak, which Mal appreciated.

"And it ain't just the chemistry, not any more. Now there's... there's things, and softer feelings and... and things." Mal rubbed the back of his neck. "And you're not a Companion any more, and I'd a mind to speak as soon as you came back. But you asked me not to, 'cause you wanted to be independent a spell, and I surely do understand that. So I didn't say a word, but I kind of thought we maybe had an understanding of sorts."

Inara nodded again, her face getting all soft.

"And that wasn't 'cause of me. The changing your trade. You said it wasn't, and I'm glad of that, 'cause if it was, time might come you'd resent me for all you gave up. Way things are, you'd have to be resenting Simon and Kaylee, and ain't nobody can keep up hard feelings against those two for long. They're too damn cute. Like puppies."

Inara chuckled. "They really are."

He grinned at her, liking her warm expression when she thought on the youngsters. "And I... we've always itched mightily at each other. Fought plenty. All those defenses we got... your training and my experience and all... they just all come to nothing between the two of us. Got no defenses from you, and I'll own I don't like that one bit. But I think it's the same for you, too, and that makes it a little better. If I'm gonna be naked in a fight, metaphorically speaking, I'd like to not be the only one."

"It's always bothered me, too," Inara said quietly. "That you just... just waltz through all my shields as if they're not even there. You get to me."

"And you get to me, too. Believe me, you get to me." Mal nodded, grateful for the reassurance that he was on the right track even if she had interrupted. "And... well, can't say as I'm like to say it often, because I got an allergy to sentiment - " Inara snickered. "An allergy?"

"Makes me come out in a fearsome rash. I start scratchin' every time Wash and Zoe make googly eyes at each other, honest. And you stop interrupting." He chuckled, and then had to look away from the sheer heartstopping perfection that was Inara. "But... I love you. I do. And I want you to know that, even if we both know I ain't half good enough for you."

There was a long pause, and Mal felt his throat close up. He'd thought...

"Are you done now?" Inara said tentatively. "Is it my turn?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you go." Mal's hands were sweating, and he rubbed them surreptitiously on his pants.

"You vex me, Malcolm Reynolds," she said, and though she sounded severe that little crease was back. "And there have been times when I've hated you for it. Who was this scruffy, law-breaking pirate to play such havoc with my life and my heart? Don't interrupt!" she added, raising a finger as he opened his mouth. "I've known handsomer men, and more charming men, and more intelligent men, and Buddha knows I've known richer men." She smiled a shy little smile he'd never seen on her face before. "But there are very few better men than you in the 'verse. Simon is one, and you're just lucky I didn't meet him first."

Mal gave her a pained look, mouthing 'Simon?' silently.

"Yes, Simon. He's a saint, you know he is. But you..." She shook her head, the smile widening. "You make my heart misbehave, Mal. You make my priorities do handstands and my self-control jump right out the window. You make me use stupid metaphors."

Mal couldn't have forced the grin off his face if his life depended on it.

"Stop looking so smug." Inara was grinning too, an honest-to-god grin. "I love you too, Mal. I have for a long time. I'm not sure how this will work... we're both stubborn and argumentative and much too independent, but..."

"But we'll manage. We will. We'll fight every day and then we'll make up. It'll be fun." Mal grinned, moving forward to wrap his arms around her and just hold her. He'd been wanting to do that a long time.

Inara cuddled up to him. "It will. I don't think getting under your skin and making you gibber incoherently will stop being entertaining any time soon."

"I have just as much fun making you sputter, believe me." He stroked her hair, wondering how it was possible to be so incredibly happy without something exploding in his immediate vicinity. Or shooting starting up. Or something.

She sighed, and nestled against him. "Mal?"

"Mm?"

"Does it still bother you that I was a Companion?"

Tradition held as he should say no, not at all, but Mal wasn't inclined to start things off with even a small fib. "A little. Kinda puts me in an awkward position, performance-wise. Man likes to be able to at least pretend to himself that a woman ain't ever had better'n him, and with you the odds of that are pretty damn slim."

She let out a startled giggle. "Mal!"

"Well, it's true. I mean, I'm reasonably confident in my abilities in that area, but I'm dealing with an expert here. It ain't easy for a man to feel confident in this sort of situation." It was true, but it was also kind of funny, and he smiled down at her. "Which isn't to say as I won't try, when you decide to... uh... invite me to your shuttle, so to speak."

"I'm glad." She was still giggling, and then she looked up at him and her face smoothed out. "There is one thing."

"One thing what?"

"One thing I've never done with a man. Ever."

"There is?" He'd kind of figured she must have tried just about everything at least once. "What?"

"Just sleeping." She rested her hands on his chest, spreading her fingers over his shirt. "I've had a few... a very few... clients who engaged me overnight, but I can count on the fingers of one hand the times I've actually slept with someone. And it's never been just sleep. I've never had someone I could lie down with and just... not perform. Not put on a show."

"Just sleep." Mal smiled, feeling weirdly better about the whole thing. "I kind of like that. I mean, I like the other option too, but sometimes it's nice to just have someone close. I should warn you, though... I'm a snuggler. If there's someone else in the bed, then I wind up all over 'em before night's over."

"I'd like that." Inara smiled, and slid her hands up to cup the back of his neck. "Now come down here and kiss me."

Mal did that, and Inara filled his brain with perfume and fireworks and no thought at all.


It wasn't right.

One yellow piece among all the blue ones, blackberry bush in the flower garden, sharp knife in the spoon drawer. She didn't fit.

Jayne saw it, even tangled in confusion and love and guilt and all the complex emotions family brought. He was glad that she was with him, proud to have her at his side, but he knew that she didn't fit with his family and it worried him.

Nobody had been overtly unkind. Not even David, who was a bully under the brown curls and flashing smile. But they looked at her out of the corner of their eyes, and she tasted doubt and confusion in their coils.

It was a relief when they left, walking dark streets with her arm tucked securely into Jayne's. He was silent at first, letting tension dissipate, and then he looked down at her, smiling a bit. "So... uh... what did you think?"

"Cailey is nice. And Mattie." Those two had spoken to her the most, with Flynn and Bess monopolizing Jayne. "Mattie is like you when you fight with Mal."

"Really? How's he like me?" Jayne was surprised by that, not being able to see under Mattie's calm, quiet exterior.

"Angry. Frustrated. Acid in spirals." She was tired, and trying to talk straight for so long had been a strain, even after Jayne and Sora had made the others understand it with their semi-accurate comparison. It was easier to lapse into the half-metaphor River-dialect she had spoken for so long, letting the words come without forcing them into appropriate forms. Jayne would understand anyway. "He is trapped in a cage of weakened flesh, and dismissed as a nothing."

Jayne nodded, frowning a little. "You mean they don't pay much mind to him on account of bein' an invalid? Like Mal don't pay mind to me 'cause he thinks I'm dumb?"

"It's a common misconception held among the working classes that a feeble or damaged body represents a feeble or damaged mind. I read that in a book." River leaned against him, smelling his sleeve. "It's not true. My body is flawless, but my brain is damaged. Mattie's mind is whole and perfect, but his body fails him."

Jayne was a little annoyed, feeling that his family were being disparaged. "It ain't like they treat him bad or nothin'."

"But they don't listen. Nobody listens. He is a non-entity. Emasculated." River frowned. "He has no opportunity to mate and form his own family. It saddens him."

"Oh." Jayne's gruff, unpredictable sympathy curled around his uncertain memory of his brother and pulled it close. "Can't blame him for bein' mad about that. Ain't many girls'll pay mind to a fellow can't even walk down the stairs 'thout gettin' short of breath, I guess."

"None at all," River said sadly. "Know how he feels. The River was certain she would flow solitary forever, all whirlpools of madness making boating inadvisable."

"Yeah, but you ain't solitary forever." He stopped them then, drawing her into the shadow of a house so he could kiss her lingeringly. He was private about kissing, though not about any other form of touch short of actual coupling. "You got me. I like you just fine the way you are."

"I know." River sighed, snuggling up to him and returning his kisses eagerly. "But make time to talk to Mattie. He is lonely for vocal intercourse that is free of pity."

"Don't use 'intercourse' for anything involving my kin, wouldja?" Jayne winced, but he grinned and gave her behind a gentle squeeze. "Speakin' of, we got a nice private room now..."

"We do. I think we should make use of it." He was so easily distracted. River let thoughts of Jayne's uncertain, untrusting family slide away. Tomorrow was soon enough to think of them. For now, Jayne was entirely hers.

When they reached the hotel, however, her Jayne became a nervous Jayne. It took her some time to pinpoint why... there was anticipation there, and affection too, but the nervousness rose up through them like weeds.

He was nervous about the incipient sexual union. Though they had both enjoyed the first time, their exhaustion and adrenaline had meant it had been shorn of preliminaries and soon over. Now he felt called upon to prove his expertise, and was worried that his performance would not sufficiently impress her.

"You never worried about that before." She leaned against his back as he closed their door, sliding her arms around his waist.

He was blushing, she could taste it. "Ain't been this important before," he mumbled, more nervous than ever now that she'd actually brought it up. "Didn't exactly make my finest showing the first time."

"I had no complaints."

"Yeah, well, I wanna do better'n 'no complaints'." He turned in her arms, wrapping his own around her. "I wanna do right by you is all."

"I know." She smiled up at him. "You will."

He leaned down to kiss her, his hands wandering as he did so. "Well, then. Let's see what we can do," he murmured huskily, when their lips parted.

It was much slower, this time. Jayne was used to lust but unaccustomed to passion, and he was nervous until River began essaying explorations of her own. This time, she was determined, all the work would not be left up to him. Jayne was vocal in his appreciation, and then there was no need for words at all, only sounds and touches and flesh united as one.

It was quite a long time later that Jayne spooned himself around her, rippling and furry with contentment. "Mmmmrrrr…" he growled sleepily, nuzzling her hair. "You comf'r'ble? Wan' me to move?"

"No. I like this." River snuggled back against him. "My Jayne is a good blanket."

He kissed her hair, all happy loops inside. "Your Jayne, huh?"

"My Jayne. Your River." She nodded. "Even if Ba ba and your family do not approve. They will get used to the idea."

He sighed, breath tickling the back of her neck. "I'm sorry 'bout that. Wanted 'em to like you."

"Simon doesn't like you, either." River reached back to curl her hand around the back of his neck. "It is unimportant. You are my Jayne."

He nodded, his momentary discomfort soothed by her declaration. "An' you're my River," he murmured. "An' you talk too much. Ain't you tired out yet?"

"Yes," she said, quite truthfully. "I will go to sleep now."

"Good. You do that."


dong ma - you understand?

Wu dong - I understand

Ba ba - daddy

Ju guei - giant tortoise

xiao teng - little dragon