Emu: Here's the second chapter of…version 1! Yes, that's right. Since all of you reviewers seemed to like all the options SO much I have decided to write four or five different versions to this story. Here is the one for all of you who wanted Jhonen to land in Ms. Bitters' class and yes he will be attending skool regularly so enjoy!

"I'm where?! Or The horrors of teachers and fat!"

Jhonen shrieked as his body was twisted hideously out of proportion. A cow suddenly floated by, followed by a bus, a slobbering baby, and what appeared to be a singing antelope. (AN: Sings Oh we were strolling through the park one day. In the very merry month of May. I was taken by surprise by a pair of lovely eyes while strolling through the park one DAY!) Continuing to plummet, Jhonen began to turn an interesting shade of green and he began to hear slowly growing voices.

         "So as you can all see, eating hotdogs inevitably leads to mass explosions and incredibly stupid hotdog suit guys." The voice sounded very eerie yet some how familiar as it continued to rant about the horrors of fishing. Jhonen started to contemplate this when he hit the ground with a loud resounding SMACK! (AN: He's gonna feel THAT tomorrow!)

         Groaning, Jhonen started to slowly study his surroundings. Looking over to his left he saw a very familiar certain green alien gazing strangely at him. Over to his right his eyes soon beheld a rather peculiar looking kid with and oversized head and dressed in a black trench coat. It was then that Jhonen came to a VERY startling realization.

         "OH MY HOLY CHEESE BRAINS! I SMUDGED MY GLASSES!" (AN: Mmmm cheese)

At the mention of cheese some of the students began to run around insanely looking for its gooey goodness. (AN: Behold the power of cheese! Okay, that was a little random, yes but I'm hungry.) The class was soon becoming quite chaotic when a very loud hiss was heard. All the students immediately stopped raving and returned to their seats.

         "GET IN YOUR SEATS AND STAY THERE! If needed I will glue your pants to them and it burns! Now then you must be our new pitiful attachment to our quickly decaying student carcass. If you want to say anything you shall speak now but you already seemed to have stirred things up so take a seat."

         It was then that Jhonen made his second and slightly more important discovery. "OH MY BOLONY SOCKS! I'm stuck in my cartoon!" Once again, at the mention of any food the class began to riot and chew on inanimate objects.   Zim and Dib however began to shudder at the memory of being turned into hunks of meat. (AN: If you haven't seen that episode YOU MUST SEE IT! Tis funny. ^_^ Oh, and you haven't figured out who everyone is by now then you must stand on your head.)

         Ms. Bitters' eye began to twitch with aggravation before she lunged at a poor helpless student and glued him to his chair. All the remaining students gasped and hurriedly shuffled to their seats. "Now that you all are back in your proper place, I will continue the lesson." Ms. Bitters glanced to a dazed Jhonen and irritably told him to take his seat.

         "Um, two things. One, don't you think I'm a little OLD to be a student and two, where exactly DO I sit. The room is kind of full." Jhonen looked nervously to the figure that loomed above him and waited for the creepy reply.

         "First of all, I don't care how old you are. You're here and you will stay here until a hideous and painful doom should befall your pathetic soul. Secondly, here." Ms. Bitters looked out upon the frightened students before selecting one, some how appearing behind him, and throwing him down a HUGE ditch that happened to materialize before once again vanishing. "There, you may now take your seat for the remainder of my very important life changing lecture."

         Jhonen merely nodded as he slumped into the small desk. Seeming satisfied, Ms. Bitters levitated to the blackboard and scrawled the word "DOOM" in fat scraggly letters. Staring out into the wave of hopeless children she cleared her throat before continuing. "Now then, who can tell me what the word on the board is?" Without waiting for a reply she quickly answered her own question. "This word up here is probably the single most important word you can ever hope to know. Well, other then slow painful fate."

         "Ms. Bitters?" A small hand raised above the torrent of children. "Ms. Bitters, that last word was THREE words!" The child wore a blue button up coat, yellow shorts, and had big pudgy cheeks.

         "SILENCE! I am the teacher and you are just a lost little piglet whose brain has been bruised with irrelevant lies. If you hope to ever become something great then you shall shut your offensive mouth and PAY CLOSE ATTENTION!" What could be identified as lasers flew from Ms. Bitters' eyes and the poor kid ended up as ash. (AN: If you don't like the lasers, too bad! I wanted to add some lasers! I sure that at least the almighty tallest Red liked them if you didn't so NAH!) "Hmm… it looks as though we have an extra seat. I suppose whoever it was I through down the endless pit of hurt can now return." Suddenly, a kid fell form the ceiling and landed on the now vacant chair. He shuddered and twitched spastically as he gazed blankly at the teacher.

         "An endless pit of hurt?! There is one in existence on this dirtball of filth?!" (AN: Three guess who that is) Zim screeched as he catapulted from his desk up to Ms. Bitters.

         "Yes Zim, now if you don't want to find out EXACTLY how much pain comes from and endless pit of hurt TAKE YOUR SEAT!"  Zim reluctantly did as he was told.

         " You SEE?! Why would a NORMAL human want to know about an endless pit of hurt?!" (AN: Poor Dib doesn't seem to know when to be quiet) Dib began to gesticulate wildly at Zim, trying desperately to convince someone.  Zim on the other hand was glaring viciously at Dibs' oversized head when Ms. Bitters intervened.

         "Dib seeing as you are too dense to know not to interrupt my very critical lecture, you may come to Skool on Saturday and hear it again on tape. I expect you to write a report on how it affects you and clean off all the desks." (AN: Ooooohhhh 0.o She IS evil!)

         "But Zim interrupted before I did!"

         "True but you interrupted back and just plain annoy me."

         Dib sighed in exasperation as the bell for lunch rang. All the other kids ran out in a mob towards their beloved cafeteria while managing to trample a few unfortunate ones. Zim stuck his tongue out at Dib and followed the rest. Meanwhile though, Jhonen couldn't believe what had just happened but not one to complain much decided it would be alright to play along and stood to leave. Of course, he didn't get far before he happened to realize that he had no clue as to where the lunchroom was. (AN: Okay, at current I have no idea if there was an episode that showed where the lunchroom/cafeteria was so I'm gonna wing it. Sorry. Should anyone know, then you all get a nice handshake!) So, he settled for staring blankly out the doorway until Dib came to his rescue.

         "Hey. Need help finding the lunchroom?" Jhonen just nodded dumbly and started to follow the retreating form of Dib as he showed him the way. Halfway through a long winding corridor, Dib began to stare suspiciously at Jhonen and lure him into a conversation. (AN: DUNNA DUN DUN!)

         "So, how exactly did YOU get here? Last I checked the skool didn't have a sunroof entrance."

         "Oh well you see, I um, uh that is to say that I…" Jhonen's eyes shot wildly from side to side as he frantically tried to locate something to help him in his sad predicament. "I was checking the ventilation and kind of popped through."

         "Oh, well that's different. I always knew the vents needed to be repaired. You didn't manage to see an old ghost or possessed doll up there, did you?"

         "Not to my knowledge."

         "Nuts! You see, I have an odd hobby or more of an obsession of sorts. You see I…"

         "You live for the paranormal and wish to some day prove to the world that aliens exist and all that." Jhonen cut Dib off and keept walking indifferently.

         "How did YOU know that?!" gasped Dib.

         "Oh, well you see I know a lot of things you don't. I already think I know you pretty well. I guess it's just vibes I get from you, or the fact that I created you." Jhonen mumbled the last part so Dib really didn't catch. To him it sounded more like, "or the fat that cremated shoe." Dib not having any clue as to who this "shoe" was wisely chose to ignore the comment. (AN: Attack of the demon fat and flying blobs of lard with matches! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

         "You pick up vibes?! That is SO cool! Are you psychic? No wait! You're a secret agent right? That's how you know so much and you're working under cover here. I mean really, there is NO way someone your age would go to this skool, let alone end up in Ms. Bitter's class. Well, am I right?!"

         "Uh, something like that. Listen; don't let any of this get out okay? I don't want to, uh draw any unnecessary attention to myself that could endanger my "mission".

         "Hey what IS your mission?"

         "I'm here to capture an alien?"

         "NO WAY! I know who that alien is! He's Zim but no one believes me. One day they'll see though how much pain I've suffered! YES! MUAHAHAHAHAAHA! I still have a burn on my shoulder you know?"

         "Um, right. You have it all right. So, I'm here to assist you in anyway. By the way, can I stay a your house for….security reasons?"

         "Can you ever!"

         "Great. So are we there yet?"

         "No."

         "How about now?"

         "Nooo!"

         "Are…………….we……….……there…………….……yet?"

         "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, erm actually yes."

         "Finally!" Dib pushed back the lunchroom door to reveal a spacious cafeteria filled with students. Dib slowly toddled towards whom we have all come to know as Gaz, and took a seat near her. Jhonen stood making a mental note to draw the lunchroom closer to the classroom before ambling over to meet up with Dib.

         "Hey um, uh, what was your name again?" Dib questioned when he found that he had yet to discover Jhonen's name.

         "It's Jhonen" Jhonen provided. (AN: Gee, the excitement soars. Don't worry, it's about to get good^_^)

         "Right. Jhonen meet Gaz. Gaz meet Jhonen." Gaz grunted a response before ruthlessly attacking her new gameslave. Jhonen stared strangely at her before shrugging and taking a seat. Dib was about to explain an elaborate scheme to capture Zim when the alien in question pulled back a slingshot and released an unknown green substance. The green blob soared across the lunchroom but hit the wrong target. And that target happened to be a pair of fluffy little mice that had been meticulously nibbling some discarded ketchup. (AN: hey, my cat eats it so why not mice?)

         A loud unearthly shriek roared from the small bodies of mice as they began to bubble and twist. Their skin began to ooze together in big fleshy hunks and froth began to collect around them. Low hisses began to emit from the blob as it grew ten times in size. Zim whistled innocently at the back of the room as he began to slink away. Unfortunately, the move did not go unnoticed by Dib who tackled him into a tray of beans. (AN: Oh beans, beans the musical fruit….)

         "What did you do now Zim, huh? Put acid in that or maybe some sort of weird alien DNA?"

         "Get off of me stinkbeast! I merely poisoned those earth…thingys with some special mutagine."

         "WHAT?!"

         "That's right wormbaby! You are now going to be doomed! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

         "WELL SO ARE YOU!" Zim stopped mid evil laugh and considered this for a second. His eyes grew wide as he  found that Dib was in fact right.

         "Well, crudmuffin." (AN: I don't know if Zim would actually say this but it's one of my sayings that I use and I couldn't think of anything.)

         While Dib and Zim's little conversation took place the creature had successfully mutated into a mass of drooling fur with fangs. (AN: I think I'll call it Ralph. Tee hee.) About 1 minute after its transformation, it had also successfully swallowed two children, a stuffed dog, ten trashcans, and one rubber chicken that sang and danced. (AN: Oh I want one! ME! ME!) It snarled menacingly before it did something truly horrid. It…BUM BUM BUM …GRABBED JHONEN AND STUCK HIM IN A FOLD OF FAT!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH (AN: I TOLD you fat was evil) Jhonen screamed as he slowly began to suffocate but all of his cries grew faint when the creature burst through the wall and started towards the city…

Emu: EEP! What's going to happen? Will Zim and Dib save Jhonen? Will Jhonen survive the fat? And most importantly, will the lunchroom ever get closer to the classroom?!

Cat: I always knew mice were pests.

Emu: Yeah, but only because Zim made it them that way. Poor mice! WWWWWWWWWWWAAAA

Cat: The only reason you added them is because you're still mad at Mr. Belsey for accidentally stepping on one.

Emu: shakes fist He shall NOT be forgiven! Do you hear me!

Cat: Didn't he call you in class and say he was sincerely sorry though?

Emu: Possibly.

Cat: Ugh. Humans.

Emu: I'm a bird DART IT! Well, okay maybe I am a human, but you're just a cat so ha!

Cat: I am a cat aren't I? And you know cats have CLAWS right? Evil glare

Emu: Mommy 0.o