And You Felt Guilty
Tony returned to his apartment after dropping Ziva off at the airport. When they had said goodbye, Ziva had kissed his lips softly and promised to come back and visit. Tony collapsed on his couch and ran his hands through his hair. His flight for the USS Ronald Reagan didn't leave until later that day. His suitcase was packed and waiting by the door. He had already been to the post office to hold his mail and he had had his landline turned off. All he had left to do was wait.
"It's not your fault you know," a voice said, startling Tony. Tony looked up and found himself face to face with Jenny, her shirt and arm bloody.
"It is my fault. If it had been Gibbs, he would have followed you," Tony said, tears coming to his eyes for the second time since her death.
"But you're not Gibbs. I gave you an order, you followed it, plain and simple," Jenny said.
"I just couldn't bring myself to look at him," Tony said. "When he got there, I couldn't look at him."
"You felt guilty," Jenny said.
"Yeah," Tony said.
"Don't feel guilty, don't carry it around with you, you'll turn into Gibbs," Jenny said, and then she slowly faded from Tony's view.
Ziva sat on the plane, her forehead up against the window, looking out at the ocean below. Slowly, her eyes drifted shut and she let sleep overtake her.
Ziva was standing in the diner, evidence of the firefight clearly evident. Suddenly Jenny stepped out from behind a column.
"I'm sorry, Jenny," Ziva said.
"It's not your fault," Jenny said. "You already saved my life once, twice was too much to ask for. I was dying anyway."
"That doesn't make a difference," Ziva said.
"I gave you and order, which I know that you grudgingly followed," Jenny said. "I needed to do that, and I did it to save Gibbs."
"I'll miss you, Jenny. You were one of my true friends," Ziva said.
"I'll never be far," Jenny said and then slowly disappeared.
Ziva awoke with a start to voices over the PA system.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are beginning out descent into Tel Aviv. Please fasten your seat belts and return your trays to their full, upright position."
McGee slammed his hand down on his desk. All that had happened yesterday and today was bullshit. Abby had not taken the news of the tem being broken up well. Her goodbye to Ziva had been a tearful one and she had said goodbye to Tony at the airport as well. McGee had left her at her apartment in a deep sleep, which she had cried herself into.
McGee grudgingly began tossing his stuff into box they he had stopped at the grocery store to pick up. He was emptying a drawer when he came across two pictures. The first was of the team and Kate, taken right before Ari had popped back into their lives. Kate was in between Tony and himself and Gibbs was next to Tony. The second picture was of the team with Ziva that had been taken at the previous year's holiday party. Ziva was sitting on Tony's desk and Tony was on his chair, peeking out around Ziva's body. Gibbs was standing in front of the plasma, his arm around Abby. McGee was standing next Ducky and Ducky was standing next to Jen.
McGee smiled at how happy they all looked, they looked like a family. Tears pricked the corners of McGee's eyes and he quickly wiped them away.
Abby awoke from her slumber to find McGee gone. She remembered him mentioning having to pack up his desk, but she knew that he would be back. Abby curled herself into a half sitting position on her bed, clung to her stuffed animal tightly and let the event of the past few days run through her head.
She had known something was wrong the minute that Tony and Ziva had stopped answering their phones. She had harassed McGee for hours, making him call them multiple times. She didn't understand at first why Gibbs had suddenly up and left for LA, but when he had called Ducky, the reason had been all too clear. Jenny Shepard was dead.
Abby didn't handle death in the family well. She had all but fallen apart when Kate died, but to lose someone that Abby thought of as a mother was too much to bear. Then, to hear that her family was being ripped apart when they needed each other the most had sent Abby into a downward spiral. Deciding to get out of bed, Abby got up and headed for her liquor cabinet. Opening the door, Abby selected Jack Daniels and poured herself a shot.
"Jack, Jim, and Jose, the only men a woman can trust," Abby mumbled to herself as she poured herself another shot of Jack Daniels.
"You shouldn't be doing that, Abby," a voice said, startling Abby. Abby whipped herself around and found herself face to face with Jenny.
"Director," Abby said, stuttering slightly.
"There' no need for that anymore, Abby, call me Jenny," Jenny said.
"Jenny," Abby said and then shook her head. "I can't, it just feels weird."
"That's alright," Jenny said. "Does Gibbs know you're planning on drinking yourself into oblivion?"
"Gibbs probably is already in oblivion," Abby said, a slight smirk on her face.
"Abby, if Gibbs asks you to do anything to get the team back together, do it," Jenny said.
"Do you know something?" Abby asked.
"If I do, I can't tell you," Jenny said.
"I'll miss you, you know?" Abby said, a tear trickling down her cheek.
"And I'll miss you, Abby," Jenny said, and then she disappeared leaving Abby with tears in her eyes.
So, due to the popular demand by the fans, I've decided to continue this fic. A special thanks to my Dad who gave me the idea for the storyline. Please review, you know how much I love it.
Also, special thanks to Cable Addict for being my sounding board! Check out our collaboration fic, Expressions, posted under our joint account, bellisariosgirls.
I would also like to take this time to thank everyone who reviewed for the first chapter. A one-shot got over 30 reviews!! THANK YOU!!
"So, what dirt do you have on the new director?" (Preview of Chapter 3)
