Chapter 2.
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"I wanna be a big sister." she said as the little family was dinning.
Sarra wanted a little sister. Or a brother. She didn't care, she just wanted someone to play with her.
Olivia choked on her food and coughed, she laughed at her daughter's innocence when she said that. But then she remembered, two weeks ago she had had this little hope that maybe she was going to have the chance to be a mom again.
Not this time.
Brian grabbed Olivia's hand and squeezed it gently. "I know that you want to be a big sister, baby. We want you to, too. And one day, soon I hope, you will have a little brother or a little sister to play with." he smiled as Sara's eyes lit up. They continued to eat.
'Why is it so important for Olivia to have another baby now ?' Brian though. He wanted it too but with their jobs, it was hard enough with one child so with two, it would be impossible.
Olivia's cell phone started ringing and it's what brought him back to reality.
"Benson. Yes Captain." she sighed and ran a hand through Sara's hair. "No it's okay, I'll be there in 30 minutes." she said as she gazed up at Brian with disappointment. She hung up and put her phone on the table, pratically slamming it down which scared Sara.
"Sorry baby." said Olivia, she kissed Sara's head and put her plate in the sink. "I'm gonna get changed." She went to their bedroom, 5 minutes later she heard the door open and saw Brian. She smiled at him as he closed the door behind him.
"Where's Sara?" she asked quietly.
"Watching TV." he said as he approached her, "You okay?" he asked, putting his strong arms around her waist. Olivia put her hands behind his neck.
"Yeah. It's just- I'm tired of this. I tell you that you are never home, always working but, I realize that I do the same, I'm always at work, never with you guys." she said as her voice cracked.
"Shhh. It's okay. Not your fault. Go to work and we'll see you tonight. Okay?" he asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"It's not only about us anymore, Bri. Sara is also suffering." her voice nearly a whisper.
"I know, honey. We'll figure it, like we always do." He said, smiling. She chuckled and smiled back at him.
"I gotta go." she said, taking his hand into hers.
"You gonna come home late?" he asked, a little bit disappointed.
" Yeah. I'm so sorry but, I have an appointment with my therapist at 6:00pm. Bri, I'm sorry. " she said.
" Oh okay. " he said, smiling, " It's okay, baby, I didn't know you had a session tonight, " he replied, kissing her knuckles.
She pulled in for a last, passionate kiss and went to the living room where Sara was watching cartoons. She went to kiss Sara's head but the little did not let go, instead she put her little arms around her mother's neck, holding tight.
Olivia's sighed and picked Sara up to give her a hug, " Mama gotta go, baby. " she said. Sara pouted, refusing to let go. "Stay with me and daddy. Mommy please." it broke Olivia's heart, seeing her daughter begging her to stay and play with her.
"I'll be back as soon as I can, baby love. " she whispered to her ear, " I promise you that tomorrow me and daddy will go to the park, okay? " she smiled as Sara cried from happiness, as she put her daughter down, the little girl ran to find her daddy and tell him about it.
" Daddy, daddy ! Mommy say we can go park. " explaining herself the best she could.
"Really? Mama said that?" he asked, smiling down at her before looking up at Olivia.
"Yes! Can we go daddy please, please, please?" she asked, her big, hazel eyes gazing straight at him.
"Of course we will go, honey." he said, leaning down to kiss her head.
"Okay now come and give mommy a big hug, Sara." Olivia said, Sara ran to her mother and hugged her. " You be good for daddy. I love you baby." Brian approached, she kissed him once more and walked away.
.
She met Nick outside the squad, he was waiting for her.
"Hey." he said, half-smiling.
"Hi, " she responded, smiling back at him.
"How is Sara?" he asked.
"Great, " she said proudly, a smile appearing on her, "Cragen told you what's up?"
"Nah, I just arrived, I was waiting for you." he said.
"Okay. Let's go then."
They worked on rape case. It was now 6pm and Cragen told his officers to go gome for the night because he knew they wouldn't find something interessant before a while.
"Go home, Munch. Someone is probably waiting for ya." Olivia joked, putting her coat on and pulling her phone out, checking if she had messages.
"Nah, I'm sure there's no one. I'll just stay here and keep an eye on those officers." he said, half-joking.
Olivia laughed, "don't work too hard. Goodnight guys." she said as she walked away. She read the only message she has gotten. It was from Brian.
We miss you babe. Can't wait for you to get home. Sara is patiently waiting for ya. I love you so, so much. Xx, Brian.
She smiled and quickly replied to the message before hailing a cab.
I miss you both. Hope you cooked dinner.;-)
I love you, too. See you later, baby, xx
.
"I thought I was pregnant." she told her therapist.
"It was negative?" he asked cautiously.
" Yeah. I mean I was throwing up, as if I was having morning sickness. Never mind my missed periods. These last few days... waiting... thinking that the door wasn't closed. I... uh... I as happy to think that my biggest dream would finally be achieved. I was wrong."
"It's not too late, Olivia."
"Of course it is. I am 44." she said, tears filling her eyes.
"Have you and Brian talked about it? Does he know about all this?"
"Yes. He was surprised I even told him. He wants another child too. I'm just scared not to be able to give him one." she said as a tear rolled down her cheek. "And I keep asking myself the same question, I know he told me 100 times that he wouldn't leave me if I couldn't get pregnant again but it still scares me, a lot. I wanna be a mom again and god – I want him to get what he wants." she quickly wiped her tears and smiled at him.
.
Olivia entered their appartment, she heard Brian talking to Sara, she smiled and put her coat off, hanging it before walking to the living room. Brian walked out of the kitchen with Sara in his arms
"Look who is home!" he said with a smile. He put Sara down, "Mommy!" Sara cried happily, she ran towards her mother's awaiting arms, as fast as her little lefts let her run.
"Hey baby." Olivia cooed, lifting her little girl into her arms and kissed her forehead. "Have you been a good girl for daddy?" Sara nodded and smiled at her mother. Brian walked towards them and put his hands on Olivia's cheeks, he kissed her tenderly, "Hey baby. I missed you so much." He wrapped his arms around Olivia and Sara.
Maybe everything was gonna be okay, she thought. Maybe their life would be perfect even without another child. They were happy, in love and that was all that mattered for both Olivia and Brian.
Thanks for reading it.
I'm gonna write a one-shot. Soon.
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