A/N: And so the smutty-ness begins... Muhahahahaha! What will happen will be revealed in the story, Melissa, or whoever reads my smuttyful and stupid writings... XD
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA! If I did, Russia wouldn't wear any clothing. Nothing. And America would let me bake cookies on his sexyful six pack while France chases England while drunk. And naked. ;3
And no, I do not have a problem. XD
I DON'T OWN ANY SONGS! THEY BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTED OWNERS!
France-sensei commands you to review... :3
I'm so special-ed, I fart out sparkles. AND IT TASTES LIKE PEE AND SUNSHINE DUST! Lol XD
Anyway, back to the story!
This chappy is longer, 1,044 words, oh my!
EDIT: And I love you guys. Virtual cookies for everyone, haha!
Ding Dong!
Matt immediately jumped up to open the door, but Al stopped him. Matt pouted, but Al responded with a half grin and a kiss to the smaller blonde's forehead. Matt's pout softened into a smile, and Alfred walked to the door.
"You have the tapes?"
"Oui, but are you sure mon cher Matthieu can handle this? It is kind of graphic. You saw it by accident. You were only 13! God, Matt didn't know about sex until junior year of high school!"
"Let Matt see it..." Alfred started, but then lowered it to a muffled whisper as Francis nodded, his look of concern turning into a wicked grin, and said French blonde turned to his little brother, then back to Al, and nodded. Both walked back to Matt, and Francis proceeded to the DVD player that sat under the TV cabinet.
"Now, Matthieu, are you sure you want to see this? Once you've seen it, you can't take it back. You must also never tell anyone else, except others who have seen 'The Video'. The people who have seen it are Antonio, Lovino, Feliciano, Ludwig, Gilbert, Alfred, Ivan, and I. Everyone had a different feeling about it, but they all ended up finding it hilarious. You can only address it as 'The Video'. Understood?" Francis explained, his face set into a serious expression. Matt nodded solemnly, and replied, "It's almost like I'm being initiated into a college fraternity."
"Well, it's pretty close." Alfred replied with a smirk as Francis inserted the disk. Once it was set up and started playing, Al turned off the lights and sat next to Matt. Francis turned the volume up. At first, the screen was black. Suddenly, the lights flashed on the television screen, and Arthur, Alfred's older brother, appeared on the screen.
"Hello~..." Arthur purred with his thick British accent, and he backed up. Matt' mouth dropped as he saw the older man's costume. He wore a flamboyant red pirate outfit, with yellow trim on the shoulders, and gold buttons. He wore a ruffled blouse under the heavy red coat, and wore matching black pants. On top of his head was a large red hat, with huge white feathers protruding from the top.
"Are you ready~*hiccup*?" Arthur asked, with a tone that was supposed to be sexy, but ended up slurred.
"Oui, Arthur, take it away, mon lapin!" Francis replied on the television screen. Alfred and Francis were, truthfully, laughing their asses off. Back on the TV, Arthur smiled, and staggered to the center of the room. It was a white room, with red carpet, and Arthur winked at the camera, and accidentally walked into the wall. He only laughed it off, and began to sway his hips. Then, he backed away from the wall, and began to do a 'Struttin that ass' kind of dance move (A/N: watch the video if you hadn't!). Arthur also started doing a mix between the mackerana and the pelvic thrust, and he threw his head back and cackled. Then, he tripped on his foot, and fell on the ground, but laughed it off in his drunken state, and started flailing on the ground, trying to do something reminiscent of 'the worm'. He stood up and turned to the camera, and started doing Lady Gaga dance moves.
"Raa Raa aa aa aaah~~! Roma Roma ma*hiccup*! Gaga oohlala! Want your bloody~ frog *hiccup* romance!" Arthur began to sing, slurring and giggling as he twirled around and swayed his hands. Then, he pointed at the camera. "Watch out Lady Ga*hiccup*Ga, there' a new lady in town, and his bloody fucking~ name is Lady*hiccup**burp*ARTHUR!" Arthur exclaimed in a drunken rage, and he ripped off his hat.
"Oui, Lady Arthur, show us some dance moves, no?" Francis asked, and Arthur grinned cheekily.
"Bloody frog, always creeping~! You're too damn sexy for your own bloody good! Fine, I'll dance, but not in this hoooo*hiccup*tt~ outfit!" Arthur replied, slipping off his red jacket. He whipped it around his head while thrusting into the air.
"I am the king of the seas~ and the music scene~~~! Lady Arthur!" Arthur yelled, throwing the jacket, before unbuttoning his shirt and pulling down his pants. Once he was freed from the constricting clothing, Arthur revealed a sparkly British Flag thong. It glittered as his, er, 'junk' bounced, and bounced, and bounced. Although Matt was laughing his ass off too at this point, he was still shocked. Arthur, the most prim and proper person Matt had ever met, doing that. Al always said Arthur had always had a stick up his ass, but this proved that wrong.
"She's my man and we got all the balls we need~!" Arthur sang, swinging his hips around, "When ya taste that pavement your amazed she smells yo' sympathy~~!" Arthur staggered, but continued to dance, "So Fran~~~cis, get on ya knees! And go suck on mah huuuuge Brit DICK!" Arthur sang, and Matt could hear Francis laughing in the background.
"No, no Arthur, mon cher, not tonight." Francis replied.
"Bloody frog*belch*, get your ass over here!" Arthur shrieked, and the camera was swiftly taken by Francis from its tri pod, and said blonde was now running for the door, the camera jiggling. Once Francis was out of the room, Francis rushed down the stairs and turned the camera to Arthur. He was completely irate, and had a huge erection concealed poorly under his very, 'patriotic' thong. Francis, Alfred and Matt were all laughing at the poor, drunk, horny Brit.
"Get back here, frog!" Arthur yelled, and Francis laughed again on the TV screen. Francis began to run again, and Matt recognized that it was Francis' house, except, bottles of liquor were lined on tables, and Gilbert, Ludwig, Feliciano, Lovino, and Antonio were all passed out, and Ivan sat on the couch, laughing at Arthur and Francis.
"Run, comrade, run! Hahahaha!" Ivan bellowed in his deep Russian accent, and laughed as he took another swig of his vodka. Francis, who was still running, finally stopped, and turned around to see Arthur, passed out on the floor. The thong was also gone, so the drunken Brit was completely naked.
"I am never deleting this, mon cher Arthur~..." Francis purred on the TV, and the camera clicked off.
