On the next day, Jia Xu found an email from Zhang He.
To: Zhang He
Great. It's you. What do you want?
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
You want to vent? To ME? Bwahahahahahahahahahaha.
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Geez, how serious the matter is, anyway? I assume that running out of powder is the only 'serious' matter to you.
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Who? Oh right, the girl with the harp. Why?
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
What? You tried to hit on her? You serious?!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Oh. Then why did she do to you, then? Playing music so horrible that Jiang Wei's and Xiaoqiao's voice combined sound like an orchestra?
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Wait, what?!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Pfffttt…..AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! Oh my god, she kicked you THERE?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
No, really! This is the funniest thing I've ever heard in a couple of years! Oh my god…then again, you've been always a trap anyway, but now she just made it 'official'! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Pfft. Why yes, I AM a mean person. What do you expect from someone like ME, huh?!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Now you're asking me advice to get her?! What the fuck?!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
What! When is it the time I ever get together with Cai Wenji?! I am 3 decades older than her. Now that's gross.
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Huh? Now who the hell told you that?!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
What! Shit, I knew I shoulda kept my high school photos in a secure lock so that drunkard pervert can't fiddle with it!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Argh. Look, aside from the fact that we debuted in the same game (though technically she came earlier, but she made her first appearance in the west alongside me), I have NO fucking relations whatsoever with her, okay. Now waltz off.
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Sigh…look, Guo Jia also tried to hit on her once, but like you, he was kicked in that area. Not that'll stop his pervert attitude, mind you. But whatever it is, it's hopeless to get her, okay! There are still prettier single girls out there! Guan Yinping, Lu Lingqi, whichever you like!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Oh, right. You won't even stand half a second against their fathers. Nevermind.
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Okay, maybe the reason why she doesn't want you is because you're a trap. She doesn't want to be thought as a lesbian. And her kicking you there just confirms that.
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Look, I can't help you, okay! When Guo Jia suffered the same, he too asked for advice to no other but ME! Seriously! I am not an expert in lovemaking so I don't know why everyone else in Wei thinks I am!
Jia Xu
To: Zhang He
Well, it's a whole fucking different story in high school! So stop bringing up those photos here! Argh, this conversation makes less sense as it goes on. So fuck you and good fucking bye.
Jia Xu
After that long conversation with Zhang He, Jia Xu went on again with his usual daily activities. At nighttime, he found an email from, yet again, Guo Jia, though this time with a (un)pleasant surprise, as it shows an NSFW picture of a girl eerily resembling Zhou Yu.
To: Guo Jia
What the hell is this?
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
Yeah! That naked picture of Zhou Yu wearing glasses!
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
Wait…that's…ME?!
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
Technically, not me…but…my reincarnation…what in the name of honestfuckery are you talking about?!
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
Oh, that anime with girls and panty shots that put an eternal taint on our reputation, I know it. So wait…that's ME in that show?!
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
You sent it to me to what?
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
NO, Guo Jia. NO. I'm NOT getting a boner for watching an NSFW picture of a genderbent reincarnation of myself! Hell! NO!
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
And you're jacking off to that picture instead?!
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
You know what, I hate you.
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
Wait, you're telling me that you and me in that show are…oh no.
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
Stay. Away.
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
And now….Cao Cao?...what?
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
…..I. HATE. YOU.
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
I'm not answering you. Stop sending emails.
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
I'm not answering.
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
Stop. Sending. Me.
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
What?! Look, just that now I'm sending you replies doesn't mean that I am answering you. It's a different thing. Now fuck off.
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
I told you several times, I'M NOT- oh, what is this?
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
An…apology? Hmm.
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
…hey. You're sure this isn't some porno video you regularly jack off to?
Jia Xu
To: Guo Jia
Is that so?
Jia Xu
And so Jia Xu watched the video sent by Guo Jia. To his horror, it is infact a clip from that particular show of him and Guo Jia doing something best left unmentioned. In his frenzy, he grabbed his chain and sickle and smashed his laptop into pieces. Afterwards, he left his home with his weapon in hand, having his heart intent in murdering someone….
So that's chapter 2. Okay, for anyone not quite getting the joke on the first part, Zhang He and Cai Wenji's English VAs, Yuri Lowenthal and Erin Fitzgerald respectively were also known to play Yosuke and Chie from Persona 4. And as Hiimdaisy shows you, she has a peculiar habit of kicking Yosuke in the nads. As the second part, I truly can't help but to think that Kaku Bunwa from Ikki Tousen is basically Zhou Yu with glasses, even though I already knew that she's supposed to be Jia Xu. Blame the long black hair. Also, there's Zhou Yu's modern day job DLC costume. It couldn't be more obvious. Please review, and good day!
