Disclaimer: Love Live belongs to whoever it belongs to. I do not own Love Live.
When reading, if one feels uncomfortable in any way, it is advised to see in what way they feel uncomfortable. In the case of hurting eyes, we recommend taking a nap and letting the pain fade. In the case of headaches, we also recommend taking a nap and letting the pain fade. In the case of a growing stick, we recommend using a moderate amount of tissues to-
"Ooiii! Why would you even think the readers were looking at porn while reading this piece of shit!?"
"W-well, these days kids are finding out about these things a lot faster than when they're supposed to."
"What's with this after-opening message anyways!? Why even indirectly mentioning porn of all things!?"
"E-ehh, Miss Saeki, just leave it at that..."
"No! This is completely bullshit! I demand the author be castrated immediately! Viva la resistance!"
"T-that's too much!"
"Thank you for gathering here, dear fans!" the man shouted with a smile plastered onto his face. "As you all know, today is the special day where you will get a chance to interact with the special half-human, half-demon star, Hyoudou Sayuri!" Loud cheers emitted from the crowd, all towards the girl sitting in a chair near the announcer. "And after all the questions you have asked her, she is really tired. However! To be kind, we will have one more event involving Miss Hyoudou here!" More cheers. He passed the mic to the girl, who stood up.
She had sharp red demon horns sticking besides her head, and wore a red cape to emphasize on the 'demon' part. (Or royalty, for that matter). Other than that, she wore a pink uniform-like shirt which was equipped with a gold-framed dark-blue shoulder pad, which had those fluttery strips around the edge. Another item quipped to the shirt was her black breastplate, also gold-framed. Her pants matched her shit, being light pink, and a royal black/gold stripe traced down her pants' side, embed with small pieces of gold. Some sort of magenta ribbon was tied around her waist.
"Thank you, everyone! I'm really grateful!" the star cheered. "Despite how busy you kind adventurers are, you took your time off to come to this event just to meet me- I'm really touched... thank you!" Everyone roared in agreement, with mixed responses including one proclaiming their love for her and such fanboy/fangirl things.
Jumping with joy, she performed a pose with her fingers spread open in a 'V' shape, earning more applause and cheers and comments about cuteness.
"Anyways," Sayuri chuckled, "the final event is a challenge."
This earned a confused exhale from many of the audiences.
She waited until everything quietened down, and smiled. "You see, I'm quite a popular adventurer, I get that, but... despite all the things I do, I still think I'm a rookie!"
"No, of course you're not a rookie!" many screamed. "You're the best in our hearts, Sayuri!"
"Hahaha, I know you guys would disagree. So here's the catch;" she took in a deep breath, "I'll join the party of whoever can surprise me!"
A moment of silence took over the bar for a while, before everyone shrieked in surprise. "Eehhhhh!?"
(Opening Theme 1)
("Bokura no LIVE Kimi to no LIFE")
(I like tuna.)
"...eh? What was that?" Emma frowned. "What was that just now, Miss Saeki? Why did the author just mention tuna?"
"Stop yapping in my ear!" the ravenette replied, getting up from her sofa. "How would I know what the shitty author is thinking anyways? What am I, the shitty coauthor of the shitty author!?" She glared at her uninvited guest. "And speaking of shitty, what kind of shitty way is this to begin a shitty chapter? And to begin with, what the hell are you doing in my shitty house anyways!?" Reine pointed at Emma. "Who invited you to my house anyways!?"
"This whole 'shitty' business again, huh..." the brunette sighed. "That asides, come on, nothing wrong with me being here."
"There's a whole plenty of shit wrong with you being here!" Reine pointed to herself. "First of, this is my house! I live alone here, so anything inside goes by my rules!" Then she pointed to her guest. "Secondly, you are not uninvited! So you better get out!"
Emma frowned. "But... Miss Saeki, aren't you lonely?" she asked.
"Of course not! I have friends!" Reine pointed to the area above her fireplace- just below some kind of weird nature-themed painting, there was an area that allowed you to put a few things on it. A few framed pictures were placed there. "I got friends everywhere. No need to be lonely." As if to prove her point, she pulled out a doll from behind the sofa. "Friends. Everywhere."
"...right." The brunette walked around, gazing here and there. She finally stopped and stared at the pictures above the fireplace. "...Miss Saeki, are these-"
"Nope, never heard of them," Reine cut her off. "They're just pictures that my mother brought me."
"...but isn't that you right the-"
"Absolutely not."
"..." The brunette sighed. It didn't look like she would get anything out of her lone savior soon. "So, uh... aren't you going to go adventuring?" she asked. "I mean, you can't really call yourself an adventurer if you don't do some adventures..."
Grinning, the other girl firmly patted the brunette. "Well, you see, I'm looking for someone to join me in my pointle- uhh, my meaningful quest of nothingness!" she exclaimed. "And I'm totally not lazy."
This girl is just plain horrible! Emma scratched her head. "...w-well... then maybe I could-"
"Rejected."
She banged her hands on the table. "Why!?" the brunette screamed.
Reine shrugged. "You seem like a sadist."
"How!?" Panting, Emma sat down. It's only morning and she's already pissing me off... wait. She looked up. "Well, if not, then... I think I know someone who might be willing to join."
The ravenette smiled. "Oh, really? Better not be a trick."
Emma sweat-dropped. "Of course I wouldn't trick you... but there's kind of a catch." She scratched her head, waiting for any questions. "You see, uh, she's a... rather popular adventurer... though that's only because she's good looking and the men are perverts who turned her into some sort of idol for them." Pausing, she waited again for any questions. When the ravennete signaled for her to go on, she sighed. "Um, exactly today, she's... hosting a special event... where, if you can surprise her, she'll join your party."
"Really!?" Reine asked. "...wait, 'surprise'? What is this, some kind of comedy-suspense show!?"
"Hehehe, well... sort of? Maybe?" Emma scratched her head. "I'm guessing she just... wants to have an exciting journey?"
"I got it." The ravenette grinned, rubbing her chin like a successful detective. "What she wants... is a dramatic journey to find the seven magical balls so that she can summon a legendary dragon that grants wishes, am I right?"
"This isn't Dra**n Ball!" Emma retorted.
Posing a thumbs-up, Reine gave a cartoon-like smile. "Z Kai!"
"No!"
The two entered the bar, one slightly covering her eyes for a short while when a loud uproar occurred. "Wow, this place is seriously loud... my fashion sense is being ruined."
"Umm, Miss Saeki, I don't think that's how 'fashion sense' works..." Emma whispered.
"Don't be picky, girl." Reine stood in a victorious pose, grinning. "If you want to pick something, then pick your-"
The brunette thwacked her head, however. "Don't be disgusting!"
"Ow!" Reine groaned and rubbed her head, before pushing her way through the crowd. "Alright, alright, get out of my way!" One by one, each person in front of her began to notice her and, not wanting to be pushed, started stepping away. The girl deep in the crowd, with her demon horns, gasped.
"Oh, do we have another challenger?" Sayuri asked.
"You bet you do!" the ravenette grinned... before scratching her head. "Uh, by the way, Menma, what was I supposed to do again?"
Everyone fell in a comical style, before laughing. The brunette in particular growled. "You have to surprise her, you idiot! And my name's Emma!"
"Calm down, Genma." Reine shook her head, disappointed. "If you get too angry, you'll be killed by Baki, you brash gecko."
"I just said it's Emma!" the girl screamed back. "And the one Baki killed isn't Genma, it's Hayate anyways! He's not even a gecko, his last name is Gekkou!" Panting, she growled again. "And wait, why are you even referencing someone from Na**to anyways!? This is a Love Live story, completely unrelated to that ninja wannabe series!"
"Whoa, you're breaking the fourth wall again," the other girl replied, "and this time you're offending all the Na**to fans. Disgrace on you, Ranma."
"It's Emma!"
The crowd stirred. "Get on with it!" many people yelled.
"A-ah, hahaha," Reine laughed nervously, "sorry to all of you. This young missy just wouldn't shut up about her obsession with Ninja **ttori."
Turning red in anger more than embarrassment, Emma exclaimed, "That's a completely different series you numskull!"
Shrugging in a taunting manner, Reine turned to the patient star. "Sorry, uh, Hanayori..."
The star laughed. "That's from Owari no **raph," she pointed out.
"Umm... then, Hana**mata?" the heroine took another guess.
"She switched from character name to a manga title!" Emma commented, starting to feel embarrassed.
Laughing again, Sayuri stood up. "You seem like a funny person. Maybe you can surprise me!" she said with a wink. This gained lots of cheers from the surrounding crowd. When the screams died down, she chuckled. "You seem interesting. What's your name, challenger? I might join your-" Everything went silent. She frowned... or rather, she couldn't, her eyes widening instead as her mouth wouldn't move.
Gently, Reine parted her lips from the star's, a grin plastered on her face as she ignored the shocked faces of everyone. "I'm Saeki Reine, thank you very much."
...huh? Emma stared with a deadpanned expression. Did she just... really do that?
As Sayuri sat back down on her chair, her face completely red and silent, Reine patted her head. "To be specific, I am a completely normal passi-"
"DIE!" several people screamed at once, throwing things at the ravenette.
"Who the hell is she!?"
"She stole our Sayuri's lips! Punishment is in order!"
"Sayuri has been dirtied!"
"My life is oveeeeeer!"
"No, seriously, tuna is amazing."
Reine scowled from all the objects being thrown at her. "G-gaaah! W-wait! Who was that last one about tuna!?" she screamed during the uproar. "S-seriously! That sounds like that weird thing from right after the opening seque-"
"...!" Sayuri stood up all of a sudden. Surprised, the onslaught stopped and everyone stared at the idol-adventurer. Blushing, she turned to the robber of her first kiss, fidgeting with her hands. "...u-umm... Miss, uh, Saeki... right?" she asked. The ravenette nodded. Scratching her hair, and then her small demon horns, she bowed. "N-nice to meet you... I'm... I'm Hyoudou Sayuri. Please take care of me."
Everyone screamed. "Eeehhhhh!?"
"Lucky winner!" Reine shouted, jabbing her fists to the air as a sign of victory. "How's that, you plebeians!? This shows how amazing I am, and proves just how much worse you people are!" She patted Sayuri, earning a small shy squeak from the half-human, half-demon celebrity. "She's my partner from now on, so suck it!"
The crowd watched with jealousy and anger as the ravenette grabbed Sayuri by her hands and walked out the bar, the half-demon waving a distracted and nervous bye to everyone. The two stepped outside and stared at the sky. "...M-Miss Saeki, right?" the girl repeated quietly.
"Yup!" Pointing to herself, the heroine formed a grin. "Stick with me, and you'll be famous in no time!"
"...heeeeh? You kissed her without any hesitation, huh?" Emma whispered behind her, sending the girl jumping and shivering.
"A-ahh, uhh, Emma? Uh, hi there!" Reine nervously laughed. "I, haha, didn't see you here at all..."
"You kissed her so easily as if you've kissed many girls before..." the brunette scowled. "So... you're a womanizer now, am I right?"
Stepping back, the ravenette increased her nervous laughing volume. "W-well, uh, you see, it was for the competition to get new members, you know? You understand, right?"
Emma gritted her teeth. "So my first kiss isn't enough? You needed to get Miss Hyoudou's first kiss too? Seems fun..."
Sayuri blushed, but gasped and turned to her new partner. "H-huh...?" she whimpered. "T-that was.. my first kiss, but... you kissed this girl before...?"
For a moment, Reine stayed silent before laughing, surprising the two. "Hahaha, don't worry, both of you. I can guarantee you," she said and winked, "you two aren't my first kiss at all!"
"..." Emma looked to Sayuri.
"..." Sayuri looked to Emma.
The two nodded, then suddenly lifted Reine up. "W-wha- hey, w-where are you girls taking me?" she asked, but got no response. The group walked to the bridge, then turned to the river under the bridge. "A-ah, what are you two doing? H-hey, this isn't funny, let me down!"
"Hip..." they muttered with a bored face. "Hip..." they said again, reeling the girl back, and finally, just as Reine shrieked, "...hoooraaaaaaay..." they muttered, throwing the girl into the river like dead weight.
"Gaaaaaah! Someone help meeeee!" And then a splash noise was heard.
A few minutes later, she was prostrating on the ground, sopping wet with water dripping from her hair. The other two girls were standing in front of her, clearly pissed.
"Ah... uh... I, Saeki Reine, and sorry for stealing your first kisses, and am the worst human being in this world," the ravenette slowly said.
"Hmph, good," Emma stuttered. "At least you learnt your lesson."
Sayuri touched her lips. "W-well... not that I mind."
"You should!" the brunette responded.
Laughing, Reine waved her hand. "Nah, it's not like first kisses are a big deal, to begin with."
Emma pointed at her, fuming. "I don't want to hear that from you!"
"I-it was... quite romantic, actually, hehe..." the black-haired star murmured, blushing and peeking at Reine every now and then.
"Is this how you want your first love's story to be!?" Emma screamed. N-not that I'm any better...
"Not that you are any better," Reine commented nonchalantly.
"Don't read my mind!"
A shrug. "Not my fault you're so easy to read."
Another angry glare. "Am not!"
"U-umm," Sayuri interrupted, "are we... uh, going to explore the world anytime soon?"
"Ah, that..." Reine shrugged. "I did that a lot already, so... perhaps some other time."
Emma hit the ravenette's head. "Then why did you win her then!?"
"Tehe~"
"Don't tehe me!"
Suddenly, as if a plot twist had been randomly stirred up without any thoughts given, the door was pushed open by a seemingly strong force and some scary-looking muscular adventures rushed it, along with some menacing female ones as well. The uninvited group surrounded the three, pointing their weapons (or readying their tomes and magics, whatever shenanigans) at the trio. "Halt!" they shouted.
"W-what's going on!?" Emma and Sayuri questioned nervously.
"..."
The door opened again, and this time a seemingly higher-ranking person walked in. The goons partly opened and let the person walk into the circle, and then closed off the escape path again. The newcomer grinned, and Sayuri gasped.
"M-manager!?" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
The manager pointed to Reine. "You, I am impressed." She adjusted her glasses. "We had Sayuri host that special event because we knew that nothing would be able to surprise her." Proudly, she pointed to herself. "After all, I was the one who trained her to expect anything! But I was definitely not expecting someone to succeed anyways." Reine raised an eyebrow, wondering what she had to do with all this, before remembering that she was the one who won the popular-but-beginner adventurer. "So I did some research into you. At first it seems like you're just a nobody that came out of nowhere, but... what a surprise! An infamous ex-soldier who used to work for the Takamagahara family famed for their specialty in machines, and who participated in the massacre of the Otonokizaka Village..."
"Wait, what?" Emma whispered. "What did you just say?" Perhaps she didn't hear clearly. Did she? What was that about-
"Do you know how much money I can get if I turn you in!?" the manager laughed. "I can get Sayuri back to my business and continue to fool these stupid fans! And all I have to do is get you captured by the ones after your head... therefore, I have assembled warriors who are willing to share the profit with me." She pointed to the heroine. "Saiki, you are hereby under-"
"Get the fuck outside right now! It's too sweaty in here!" Reine shouted.
All the uninvited hostile warriors jumped before sheepishly walking outside. "R-right..." the manager murmured weakly, heading outside as well.
The trio followed them outside, and our favorite (not-really) ravenette looked around. "That's better. Continue."
The manager coughed. "A-as I was saying... Saiki, you are hereby under arrest for participation in the massacre of Otonokizaka Village!"
Sayuri frowned. "M-manager, what are you doing!?"
A grin was sent to the innocent half-devil girl. "Sayuri, dear, this is for your own good."
Emma gritted her teeth, glaring at the adventurers who prepared their weapons once more. "Damn it... so this is going to be a fight, huh?"
"Uhhh..." Everyone turned their heads to Reine. "I... think you got the wrong person."
The evil manager frowned. "Huh?"
Shrugging, Reine pointed to herself. "My name's Saeki Reine... Saeki, not Saiki."
"..." Paling, all adventurers stepped asides while the manager coughed. "I... I apologize. You can go. Just... please don't tell anyone."
Reine nodded. "Thanks. Come on, Menma, Sayuri."
"A-ah, okay!" Sayuri squeaked, still confused about the whole thing.
Emma pouted. "It's Emma, geez... you even called me Emma correctly once a few minutes ago."
As the three walked away from the scene, however, suddenly a librarian rushed up to the area. "A-ah, there you are, miss!" she shouted to the manager, stopping everyone in their tracks. "I- I just wanted to inform you I gave you the wrong name! U-um," the librarian showed an open book with a picture of someone in it, "I- I remembered the wrong name and opened the wrong personal profile page. Here, the one you're looking for is, u-umm, this person."
"...this looks exactly like you," the manager commented as she stared at Reine, who stood still for a while.
"...let's go!" the ravenette finally exclaimed, grabbing both her partners' hands by force and running away. "Yoinks!"
"What the-" Emma and Sayuri had no time to react before being pulled.
Turning red with anger, the manager growled. "After her!" she exclaimed.
The trio headed towards an exit of the city while still being chased, which was a path to a forest that would lead to the outside world.
"Wait! Is this really how our adventure's going to start!?" Emma screamed. "This isn't how I wanted to become famous!"
Reine rolled her eyes. "Oh, deal with it."
"Hihihi, e-everything sounds exciting though!" Sayuri commented with a happy expression.
The brunette cried. "You guys are the worst!"
(Ending Theme 1)
("baby maybe Koi no Button")
(Tuna makes the world go round.)
"Huh!? There it is again, Miss Saeki! Something about tuna is mentioned again!"
"Like I said, stop telling me these things! I'm not the shi- uh, stupid author's coauthor!"
"That didn't really change the fact that you insulted the author, Miss Saeki."
"Shut up! Isn't this supposed to be the short segment after the ending theme that gives a preview of the next chapter!?"
"What is this, an anime!? Stop trying to imitate it!"
"Well, I can't help it! The author's the one doing all this shit!"
"Speaking of shit, that was a shitty move you played on Miss Hyoudou."
"Why are you talking about this chapter's event!? We're supposed to give a preview of the next, not this one!"
"S-shut up! It's not like I care anyways! Hmph!"
"Wha- ow!"
