CHAPTER TWO:
Right Kind of Wrong
Sam was wiping off the blood from his face when he heard the familiar flutter of air moving in the next room. It had been a hard night and day tracking that shape-shifter, and they'd ended up covered in blood and glop by the time they trailed into the motel. They still hadn't figured out just what the shape-shifter was doing, the murders made little sense to either of them, but when has a shape-shifter ever made sense? They were just both glad that the case was over. It always made them feel good to close a case, especially when they didn't have any hope of winning the big grudge match that was waiting around the next corner.
Sam strolled out of the bathroom to see Cas sat on the end of Dean's bed, Dean pacing awkwardly back and forth. They'd made a stop before coming back to the motel, one that had gotten them a heap of weird looks and comments. He still smirked at the flustered way Dean had dealt with the sales assistant who'd assumed the ring was for Sam. "No, I'm his brother. Just here for moral support." he quickly corrected. Causing the assistant to blush.
Dean had walked out of that store with a velvet box and a wide smile, but there had been a heavy weight on his brother shoulders that he wasn't going to be rid of until this whole thing was faced.
Sam watched Dean ramble on about the case with Cas, while he avoided eye contact and paced around the room. If Cas noticed Dean weird behaviour then he wasn't showing it. He just sat there silently listening. His gaze flickering between his hands, Dean and Sam.
"I wish we knew why he was killing people?" Dean grumbled.
"Dean. Weren't you the one to say that it didn't matter why, as long as the monster was dead." Sam reminded him from the bathroom doorway, where he was still drying off with a fluffy yellow towel.
"Yeah, well….I've changed my mind. It just doesn't feel…..finished."
"I'm sure that's just the adrenaline that is still flooding you body Dean."
Dean looked over at Cas, and Sam saw his eyes soften.
"Yeah. Probably." he smiled a little.
"Dean."
"Yeah." Dean turned to meet his brothers gaze.
Sam nodded his head at Cas, mouthing 'do it. Ask.'. Dean shook his head, Sam nodded again, adding a bitch face to the argument. "Cas there's something Dean wants to talk to you about."
Cas frowned up at the two brothers. "What is it Dean?"
"Uh….Thanks Sam." he snapped, turning to look at Cas. "Uh…well…" he swallowed. "You remember we were talking last night."
"Yes."
"About me wanting something…wanting to have a person to…." he stammered over his words till he finally took a deep breath. He turned and marched determinedly over to his leather jacket, reaching into the pocket for the velvet box. Opening it, he stared down at the plan silver rings. Taking a sharp breath he tugged on the smaller one. He'd had to guess blindly at a size. He hoped it wasn't too small. Turning around slowly he held it between his thumb and two fingers. "I was….Okay, so look…" just state the facts to him. "…when I…Sam could you give us a minute."
Sam nodded and slipped back into the bathroom, softly closing the door behind him.
"Look Cas. I know this is all sudden and probably weird and well, considering you're an angel, probably totally against the rules, but when I thought those junkless archangel's had killed you it almost killed me and I've been thinking over the past few weeks….I really don't want to risk losing you again. Not without you knowing that….well…." he moved a little closer to the angel, his friend. The ring still pressed firmly between his fingers. "We've got something, right? I mean you feel it too, right?"
"Dean?"
"Like, a bond. A connection. - Cas, your not an idiot, you know what this is." Dean waved the ring at him. "I'm no good at this, never thought I'd have to do it. - But when I said I wanted to settle down, I meant it. But not with Jo or Lisa, or some random woman I met in a bar. I meant you Cas. And I know this is insane, believe me I know. Sam's told me enough. But he also thinks that I should just….ask. So, here I am, asking."
Cas looked from the silver ring to Dean and back again. "Your asking me to…." he shook his head. "Dean I'm an angel."
Dean's face crumbled as the hope vanished. "Right. Yeah. No gay marriage. Big no no. Got it. Stupid me. Just…."
"Dean, I'm utterly indifferent to sexual orientation, This is not about that. I'm an angel, I'm committed to heaven. Other's have been banished for what you're asking of me."
"You're already banished Cas." Dean pressed, taking a step forward. "For helping me save Sam."
Cas closed his eyes, sighing. "That's not the same Dean. When this is over I could still go home. If I do this. - That'll be it. I will truly be a fallen angel."
Dean huffed, turning away from his friend. "Fine. That's fine. You go back to those jerks that would tear the world apart out of boredom. That's just fine. See ya around."
"Don't be a child Dean. - They're my family. You would not turn your back on your family, yet your expect that from me?"
"I would if they were dicks. - For you." Dean snapped.
Cas shook his head. "No Dean, you would not. Family is everything to you."
"Yeah, well maybe. But my family happen to care about me and what I want. - As well as the rest of the god-damn world. Yours….your just another soldier in their war Cas. They may call you brother, but they don't give a shit about you. And you know it!"
Cas glared furiously at Dean. "Don't presume to understand heaven Dean." he said in a hard harsh tone that sent a shiver down the hunters spine.
"I understand better than you seem to. God's gone, he split and now heaven's throwing a party. To hell with us poor…what was it Uriel called us? Mud monkeys. Heaven doesn't give a shit about us Cas."
"That's not…."
"What? True." Dean clenched his jaw tight. "Open your goddamn eyes. They'll burn this place to the ground, and they'll rip me and Sam to pieces in the process and when they're done, you think they'll be welcoming you back with open arms? Don't fool yourself." he scoffed, his fingers curling tight around the silver band. "We're not winning this war Cas, we all know that. I just want to have something in the meantime."
"Dean."
The fight slipped out of him with that one word. "It's fine. I was stupid to even…." he shook his head, strolling back to his jacket, ripping it off the back of the chair. "Sam was probably right anyway. It's probably nothing, I just don't want to lose anyone else." he headed for the door only to feel a firm grip on his sleeve, halting him.
"Dean, please just understand." Cas pleaded, his blue eyes gleaming in the motel lights.
Dean released a wary sigh. "I understand Cas. Family comes first." he nodded and continued to the door.
Cas was still staring at it when Sam finally returned from the bathroom. He turned to met the hunters sympathetic hazel eyes.
"I can't turn my back on heaven Sam."
Sam nodded silently.
"They're my family. Isn't Dean the first to say that family is everything?"
"Cas, I…" Sam swallowed before taking a seat on the couch. "…I don't want to intervene in whatever it is between you guys, really I don't. And I get where your coming from and I admit I had my doubts but…" he stared uncomfortably at his feet. "I think I was wrong. In fact I'm sure I was. - Wasn't I?" he looked at Cas, who met his gaze unflinchingly before giving the smallest nod. Sam couldn't help but smile. "And as for your family. Dean's right, they really don't care about you or anything but themselves, Cas. You know that. - And if there's one thing me and Dean have learnt over the years, it's that sometimes we build our own families. - Like Bobby says, family don't end with blood. Or grace in your case."
"I…I just don't think I have the strength to fall that far Sam." Cas sighed, reclaiming his seat on the end of the bed.
"You've already took a big leap when you sided with us. - With Dean. You know Dean's right, they're going to punish you for helping us whether your with Dean or not. Just for taking his side in the first place. At least spend that time together. Make it worth something."
Cas sat silently running over Sam's words. As much as he wanted to believe he still had a place in heaven, that they would understand and welcome him back, he could feel his grace slipping away day by day. The brothers were right, whether they succeeded in defeating Lucifer or not, he was never going to be welcome back in heaven. And the search for his father, has so far proved fruitless. His father didn't seem to want to stop this, didn't care enough to stop this. And if he didn't care about protecting earth and ruling heaven, if he was allowing Michael and Lucifer to destroy his creation, then would he really care if Cas took this one thing. He'd already betrayed heaven in questioning orders, in siding with Dean. - In loving Dean. What did it really matter if he choice to be bound to the hunter for eternity. Weren't they already? From the moment Cas had touched Dean, fought to bring him back, they'd been connected. He hadn't meant for it to happen. And while he'd gotten used to his feelings for Dean, he hadn't known the man had shared them. Knowing that now filled him with a strange sensation. A sense of hope, a faith he hadn't realised he'd lost.
But he was scared. He hated to admit it, but it was true. He'd heard the stories about the others, the angel that had rebelled against Heaven and fallen in love with mortals. He had shivered in disgust and fear, never understanding how an angel could turn away from the beauty of heaven. He hadn't understood why Anna had wanted this so badly. - Until now. Until Dean.
Cas got to his feet gracefully. "I must go."
"Cas, what about Dean?" Sam asked quickly.
The angel was gone without an answer, the air shifting as he vanished from Sam's sight. The hunter slouched in his seat, rubbing at his eyes. Already envisioning the tension that was going to come from Cas's refusal. Of the mood Dean was going to be in when he finally return.
~Beware Promises of Always~
Dean sat in the driver's seat of the Impala, his head resting against the wheel, his eyes closed to the world as he scolded himself a fool. He should have listened to Sam. His brother understood this stuff better than him. He'd had the long term relationship. What did Dean know about any of it? He'd only been in love once before, and things with Cassie hadn't worked out any better. Maybe he was just meant to be alone? Maybe it was just another level of punishment for all he did in hell. And what a punishment it was. Falling in love, and he was pretty sure that's what it was, with his guardian angel slash best friend, only friend really, only for said angel not to feel the same.
Dean was tempted to drive back to the bar they'd been in the previous night and find that good looking blonde that had hit on him, but just the thought of it turned his stomach. He'd really lost the desire for casual sex. He wanted more, especially with the end almost upon them. Was it too much to ask for a little normality for whatever time they had left?
Dean took a deep breath and lifted his head from the wheel, rubbing his hand down his face warily. He couldn't hold it against Cas for wanting his family back. If the situation was reversed he'd probably feel the same. It just hurt was all. He'd convinced himself that Cas would be happy with the idea, that he'd jump at the chance to be with him. He'd figured that Cas's blind loyalty to heaven had vanished when he chosen to help him. "Guess I was wrong." He sighed, slumping low in his seat and staring at the motel in front of him. The stress of everything he'd gone through the last few days weighed down on him and before he even realised it, he was drifting off to sleep.
~Beware Promises of Always~
It took Cas a lot longer than he expected to find the man perfect for the task. He'd over looked a hundred priest and vicars and pastors, looked into their hearts, saw where they're loyalties laid. It had taken him a long while to find the man he now stood before.
"Pastor David Gideon?"
"Yes. And who are you?"
"I'm an angel of the lord." Cas announced.
"Yeah, sure you are." Gideon sighed, turning back to the path he was taking.
Cas didn't have time for this. He knew Dean, if he didn't fix this now he'd never ask again, and the trust and friendship they'd forged would be shattered. He didn't want that. Dean was all he had left, he wouldn't lose him over something he truthfully really did want. So Cas reached out his hand, gripping the man shoulder.
~Beware Promises of Always~
Dean leapt out of his skin at the sudden pounding on his car window, his head snapping up to stare out at the darkness and his brother's face staring back at him. He moaned as he righted himself, leaning forward to lower the window.
"You coming inside or you planning to sleep out here for the rest of the night?"
Dean rubbed at his eyes. "How long have I been out?"
"Only about an hour. I thought you'd gone to the bar down the street."
"I was tempted." Dean sighed, winding up the window before opening the door. "Has he gone?"
Sam just nodded, but Dean could see the sympathy in his puppy dog look.
"Good. Lets get some sleep and get the hell out of here." Dean murmured marching back to their room.
Despite announcing that he wanted to sleep and split down, Dean wound up sat on the couch with a bottle of beer warming in his hand, staring down at a book for no other reason than needing something to do.
"Dean are you….?"
"Don't Sammy. I don't want to talk about it."
Sam nodded again and settled on the other end of the couch, his laptop on his lap, his fingers moving over the keys.
Dean lifted his beer to his lips, cringing at the warmth as it slipped over his tongue. Lowering the bottle to the table he got out of his seat and headed for the fridge to fetch a fresh one, when the familiar sound of air moving drew his attention. His head snapped around as Cas appeared. With him a priest. Dean sent Sam a questioning look, but the younger hunter just shrugged.
"What the hell was that?" the strange gasped, looking around with panicked eyes.
"This is pastor David Gideon." Cas informed them.
"Okay." Dean frowned. "And he's here because?"
"We'll need him."
"For?"
Cas's brows furrowed at Dean with that 'your being an idiot' look he liked to throw around on bad days. "To perform the marriage rites."
Dean's mouth fell open with surprises, as did the pastors.
"I…what?"
"You're a devote man, but you have the good sense to question. - And you hold no prejudice against homosexual couples." Cas informed the man matter-of-factly. "The perfect man to over see our marriage."
"Uh, Cas." Dean interrupted. "What happened to you being excommunicated and shit?"
"You and Sam were right. Heaven's never going to take me back." Cas met Dean's gaze, locking firmly. "Their not my family Dean. - You are."
The corner of Dean's lip quirked. "Nice to see you've come to your sense." he said lightly. "So I'll take this…." he gestured to the pastor. "…is you accepting my proposal?"
Cas nodded. "Yes Dean. If you still….?"
"He very much wants to still." Sam jumped in, a wide goofy grin on his face.
"I can speak for myself, thanks Sammy."
"Does someone what to tell me what I'm doing here. - And what…."
"He's an angel, I'm not, and you're here to perform a marriage ceremony." Dean said, looking over at the man.
"That's….I can't…." he looked at the three men. "That's impossible. An angel can't marry a mortal. He'll be…."
"We know, padre. Fallen angel, kicked out of the country club, we're all aware."
Gideon looked at Dean with wide eyes. "But your….both…." he turned to Cas.
"You do not have a problem with our sexuality Pastor Gideon, I know you don't. I searched your heart. You believe that we are all equal. So I can only assume that my gender is not the issue."
"You're an angel."
"A poor example of one." Cas murmured, dropping his gaze guiltily.
Dean stepped forward, his hand resting on the man's shoulder. "Buddy, having met the others, I disagree and so would everyone else." he glanced over at Sam who nodded in agreement. "You've done more for humanity in the last year, than heaven has done in a thousand. Stop selling yourself short."
Cas looked up through his lashes, a small smile pulling at his eyes. "You are bias Dean."
"How so?" Dean asked with a raised brow.
"You intend to marry me. There by your feeling cloud your judgement."
Dean smirked. "So what's his excuse?" he nodded behind him at Sam.
"He is your brother. He'd agree with you because he wants you to be happy."
"He has a point. - But I swear Cas, I'm not taking his side because I want you to take him off my hands. He's honestly right about this."
"Excuse me….can we get back to me performing this ceremony."
The three turned to stare at him.
"Okay Sir, listen. I know this is a little….unorthodox." Sam said, rushing forward.
"Unorthodox?" he scoffed. "Understatement."
"Okay but just don't look at this as marrying a mortal and an angel, just see that they care deeply for each other. And believe me considering my brother, it's a miracle that he even admit to loving anyone at all, let alone it being for another guy. Trust me, I never saw that one coming in a million years. So that just proves that it's real right? So just do this for them, okay. Cause frankly….." he looked at his brother and Cas, seeing the embarrassment and surprise in their faces. "…this could very well be their only chance. They could both be dead in a month, so please."
"Dead?"
"Yeah, we all could be." Dean clarified.
"I don't know. It would being going against heaven." Gideon looked at the pair nervously.
"Trust me padre, they really don't give a damn."
"Pardon?"
Dean stepped forward. "They want this whole planet to burn, they don't give a damn about what we measly human's want, so why should we give a damn what they want."
"What are you talking about?" Gideon looked confusingly between the three strangers.
"Dean, maybe we shouldn't." Sam shook his head.
"If he's going to marry us, he deserves to know the truth." Dean said firmly, before turning back to the pastor. "I'm talking about the apocalypse. It's here. Surely you've notice all the strange activity in the news. Freak weather, mysterious unexplained deaths. And you know why? Because Heaven doesn't give a damn. - Except for Cas." he smiled over at his friend. "Cas, me and Sam are trying to stop this. Trying to save the world one day at a time, just like we've been doing for years, without a word of thanks. But you know what, this time I want something. I want a prize."
"That's…insane."
"Maybe, but it's also true." Sam sighed.
"I need to sit down." Gideon murmured, staggering to the nearest chair.
"Perhaps you should not have told him Dean."
Dena just shrugged; watching the man sit and stare at the table top blindly.
"You okay Pastor? Do you want a drink?" Sam fussed.
"No." the man shook his head. "So this is it? The end?"
"Not if we've got anything to say about it." Dean murmured, strolling over to retake his seat, nodding for Cas to join him.
"And you think you can stop it?" Gideon frowned.
"We're going to do our best, or die trying."
"But you want to marry each other….anyway. Knowing that it might not last? That you could both go to hell for this?"
"Father believe me, we're pretty sure we're all heading there anyway, for one reason or another."
The man sat forward, pressing his head into his palms. Dean, Cas and Sam watching him nervously. When he finally looked up, his face told them his decision before his lips did. "Alright." he nodded and smiled at them.
Dean smiled back, before turning to look at Cas.
