Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


Chapter 1

"Miyuki, honey, can you come here for a second?" I hear my mother holler down the hall. I place my pencil at the spine of my book to keep it from rolling away and then get up. I know my mother is in the dining room, so I walk there.

I am Uchiha Miyuki. I am twelve years old.

Let me introduce my family. There is my mother, my father, my twin (and slightly older) brother, my younger brother, my younger sister, and me.

My mother is Haruno Sakura. She has pink hair and green eyes. I do not look much like her. I don't have the beautiful pink tresses, though I have inherited her equally gorgeous eyes, but I've heard that I look more like my father – not that I mind. My father is quite handsome too. Just looking at my parents from a completely shallow point of view, they look perfect together. My father is Uchiha Itachi. He has black hair and black eyes – which are sometimes red because of our bloodline limit, the Sharingan.

My father is about five years older than my mother. My mother had my brother and me when she was 18 or so, so she is still very young and very beautiful. She is one of the head doctors at the Konoha hospital. She probably would have taken on another job if it hadn't been for the fact that her job is already really hard. My father seems like he doesn't age either. Despite being one of the most valuable members of the council to my godfather, the Hokage, judging by his wrinkleless face, his job would seem stress free. He also helps train ANBU.

My twin brother, Shisui, is a member of ANBU. He was promoted to genin when we were 10 and took the chuunin exam a few months later. Then, after a year or so of training, he became jounin, and he has recently become ANBU. He's quite the genius. People say that it's only natural, after all, his parents are legendary. Our mother is one of the newest generation of Sannin and our father is one of the most famous espionage agents. He actually could have been promoted much earlier, but our parents and the Hokage were against it. He, like me, has black hair and green eyes. We look similar and he looks like the spitting image of our father. He is currently on a mission.

My younger brother, Mamoru, is an academy student. He is seven years old. According to my father, Mamoru isn't going to be promoted earlier. He is going to graduate with his classmates. I don't know the reason for this, but I assume that it is because of Mamoru's own request. It isn't easy being a shinobi that graduates early nowadays, especially for us Uchiha's. Graduating early means being put in danger earlier. There are only a handful of us that have the Sharingan, and keeping us in the academy longer means keeping us alive longer.

It may also be because, after rumors of Shisui's talents spread throughout the lands six years ago, we were almost kidnapped, had it not been for our Sharingan awakening and my father's prompt rescue, we would have likely been killed and our eyes would have been used for research and other horrible activities.

Shisui my father saved us that day and, through that experience, two things were discovered – one, Shisui was ready to be promoted, and two, I was not fit to be a shinobi.

Unlike Shisui's revelation, which spread like wildfire because it was quite obvious, I kept mine a secret for a few years.

When Shisui and I were ten, we were offered the chance to become genin. We both agreed…at first. We had to take an exam to prove we were ready, as academy students typically do when they are twelve.

I didn't go to the exam site.

I didn't become a genin and I didn't continue attending the academy either. Instead, I enrolled in a civilian middle school.

Mamoru possibly could also not be allowed to be graduate early because of that situation. Just in case he is like me, they want to make sure that he has two more years than I did to decide.

Mamoru, unlike Shisui and me, has red hair and black eyes. I think he looks more like our father too, but he is pretty evenly split between our parents' genes.

The newest addition to our family is my little sister, Kotori. She has pink hair and green eyes. She looks the most like our mother. She is four years old. She hasn't started attending the academy yet.

My whole family adores her.

"Yes?" I say, entering the dining room.

"You don't have school today, right?" my mother asks.

I shake my head in response. My mother frowns slightly at this. I could almost hear her nagging in my head to respond verbally. "No, I do not have school today."

Apparently, because I am not a shinobi, I have to be extra polite to try to make up for it. I don't really get it, but I try to oblige anyways.

"Can you babysit Kotori for a little while? Mom has to go out with Ino-ba-san for a bit," says my mother.

"Yes, mother," I respond. I keep my voice soft as she has taught me to – not too shrill, not too rough.

"Thanks, darling," she says. "Mamoru should be back soon. Can you prepare dinner tonight? We're running a little low on groceries, but there should be enough."

"Yes, mother."

I can't read the expression on my mother's face, but I think it's something akin to disappointment. I'm not so sure, but at least I think it is.

Isae and Takeo-kun think so too.

Isae is one of my best friends. Unlike me, she is a shinobi. She recently passed the chuunin exam with her teammates – Takeo-kun and Hiroshi. I'm not close to Hiroshi, but Takeo-kun is one of my good friends. I met both of them in the academy. Like me, he has a bloodline limit. He's a Hyuuga, so he has the Byakugan.

Every time they come over, they see it on my mother's face too.

My mother and I used to be closer, you know, before I chose to shame the whole family, but that's not saying much since I wasn't that great of a shinobi either. I don't know why, but she just favored Shisui more than me.

"I'm going to go get ready to go out then," she says, "Kotori is napping. Just wake her up in a bit. Mamoru should be home soon too. Eat together with him too, okay?" She smiles a little. It is a forced smile.

"I understand." I bow a little. "Have fun."

She nods and then leaves the room.

No hug. No kisses. Nothing.

I can't remember the last time my mother showed affection towards me. Even in public, even though we're supposed to put on the image of a perfect family, she doesn't touch me. I have spoken to my father about it, but he says that it's because we are trying to keep up the image that they have created for me.

I am supposed to be this regal figure. I am the Hokage's goddaughter and that somewhat makes me royalty, apparently, so I'm supposed to be all proper and ladylike. I'm not allowed to act my age and I'm not allowed to have too much fun. I'm supposed to love reading and art and flower arranging and blah, blah, blah. I don't get to choose what to wear – people pick out my clothes for me – usually dresses and such. I don't get to decide how or when to cut my hair either.

It's almost as if they're trying to make up for the fact that I'm not a shinobi by making me this other untouchable figure or something. I don't really get it.

I have been told what to be for two years now. I don't know what I really like to do. I know what I do, but I don't know what I want to do.

I have had a question for two years now. I don't know who I'm supposed to ask.

But I want to ask…Of all the things I'm supposed to be, is happy one of them?

X

I invited Isae over to hang out with me while I babysit Kotori. She should be arriving soon. Mamoru should be back soon too. Meanwhile, I'm working on my homework in the living room.

"Nee-san, you home?" I hear Mamoru's voice. "I forgot my keys!"

I get up off my seat on the couch and walk over to the door. I unlock the door and slide it open. "Hey," I say. "Welcome home."

"Thanks," he says.

"Hungry?" I ask.

"Not really. I ate a little with my friends before I came home."

"Okay, no problem. Kotori's still sleeping. We'll eat with her later."

"Okay." He smiles.

I smile back. "Go have fun. I'll call you when we eat."

"'Kay," he says as he rushes to his room.

Mamoru once asked me why I am like this – why I'm different from the rest of them, why I'm not a shinobi.

I regret my decision sometimes.

I lost my mother's love that day.

I just don't think that I am capable of being a shinobi.

My father says that he respects my decision. My family doesn't speak of my decision anymore. It's just an old choice that I've made that has affected us greatly.

I wouldn't dare to tell them how I'm feeling.

It's that fear of hearing the words "I told you so."

So I'm not close to my family.

I feel jealous sometimes. I feel it when I see my parents with Kotori. I know that she will end up a shinobi. I see the determination in her eyes every time I look at her. I see the determination that I see in every shinobi's eyes. I have heard about shinobi who just live day to day with no goal in mind. I would have been one of them. I just know it.

I think over what homework I have besides the one I'm working on. Going to a normal middle school means that I have homework and stuff. It's all weird stuff and since I come from a shinobi background…usually no one can help me when I have homework problems. I don't really have any civilian friends either. They all think I'm weird. They wish they could be shinobi, so they don't understand me either. Asuma is the only one who can help – well, Asuma and his father.

"Miki!" I hear.

It's Isae. She's the only one that calls me Miki. I walk over to the door and open it. She launches her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Hey, how have you been holding up?" she asks. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" She smiles and I automatically smile too.

"I'm fine," I say.

"Any changes?" she asks, backing away so we're arm's length apart. She always asks this question. It doesn't get annoying or anything. I think it's endearing how she cares so much for me. She means a lot to me too.

"No," I say, shaking my head.

She smiles ruefully.

"Come in," I say, "Kotori's still sleeping."

"Geez, she sure sleeps a lot."

"Yeah," I agree, "But she has begun her training with my father recently. She's probably so drained."

I feel so distant whenever I talk about Kotori.

Isae knows this too.

"Well, what weird homework do you have this time?" she asks.

"I'm learning something called geometry now. It's basically math with shapes."

"Oh, we learned something similar in the academy, right?"

"Yeah, but it's a little more intense."

She shakes her head. "You sure have it tough."

I laugh a little. "Of course."

"Your school uniform is so cute. I kind of wish I went to a normal school every time I see you in it."

"Yeah right."

"It's true!" Suddenly, she sits up straight. I know by now that it is something she does when she suddenly remembers something. "Oh yeah!"

"What is it?"

"I wanted to tell you something. I heard something today."

"What?"

"I heard that Shisui and Asuma got back this morning."

"Really? My mom didn't say anything."

"I bet Shisui's cooped up at the Hokage's office right now – briefing and whatnot."

"Was it a hard mission? It's almost evening. Brief's usually aren't that long."

"Or maybe they went to Ichiraku's." Isae shrugs. "I'm sure they'll be here soon. You're usually the first one he visits when he comes back anyways."

I feel my cheeks burn.

"Awww, you're blushing!" Isae squeals. "You're so cute." She wraps her arms around me again. Being a shinobi, she's fitter than I am. Her arms are toned and slightly muscular, and while most of my body is soft, hers is mostly hard. She says that's why she loves hugging me. Everyone else she knows also has nice toned bodies.

She soon lets go again. "Are you ever going to tell him?"

I shake my head. "I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"What if he starts liking someone?"

I quiet. I don't know the answer. I honestly wouldn't like to think about it.

Then, "I'm back!" We hear the door slide open. I rush to the door, hoping he'd be there.

He isn't.

Only Shisui is there.

"Hey Mi," he says.

"Welcome home, Shi," I say, "How was your mission?"

"It was fine. Long and tedious, but it wasn't hard or anything. We worked with Akai for the first time. She's as amazing as we heard she'd be. Pretty too."

"Akai?" I ask. "Sarutobi Akai?" I remember my parents mentioning her once or twice during dinner. They said that she is an exceptional shinobi.

"Yeah." Shisui responds.

Isae, knowing what's going on through my head, asks, "Where's Asuma?"

"He went with Akai to the bookstore." He shakes his head. "Acting like a lovesick fool," he mutters. He then walks past me. "I'm going to my room."

I heard him.

I feel my heart drop to my stomach.

I feel Isae put a hand on my shoulder as support.

"Wait, Shi, are you hungry?" I find my voice to ask.

He nods. "Starving. Is there any food?"

There probably isn't enough ingredients to feed all of us, since my mom probably wasn't anticipating Shisui's return, but I don't have much of an appetite all of a sudden anyways.

"Yeah, I'll call you when I get it ready," I say. I smile a little at him.

He nods. "You're the best." He then walks to his room.

"Are you okay?" Isae asks after Shisui's out of hearing distance.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I smile. "He deserves a ninja anyways." I walk to the kitchen and begin preparing dinner.

Isae quiets, then, "He broke his promise to you."

"It's okay. It was just a stupid promise we made last year."

She frowns a little. "A promise is a promise."

"It's fine."

"Miki…" she says all of a sudden, "Have you ever thought of what our lives would be like five years from now? Or even a year from now?"

"Not really."

"I have."

"And? What do you think it'd be like?" I crack an egg and let the contents of the egg spill into a bowl. I reach for another egg. Aside from my parents, I am the only one out of my siblings that knows how to cook. Most of my friends don't know how to cook either.

"Well, for one, we'd still be friends."

"Definitely."

"I'd be a jounin by next year." She smiles. "And soon, I'll be ANBU. And then, I'll have my own little genin team. I want to be the youngest team leader ever."

I smile. See? Everyone has a goal except me.

"That's great," I say. "I don't know where I'd be in a year… or even five."

"A lot of people don't know," Isae says. "You're only 12."

"So are you."

I sigh and then a smile a little. "I'm sorry for always being such a downer."

"It's fine. I'm so hyperactive that I need someone like you to drag down the mood." I laugh.

"Is that an insult?"

"No, I mean it in the nicest way possible."

"Well, gee, thanks then."

She laughs and then, silence. "I never told you this, but…on my recent mission, I realized that…I'm glad you're not a shinobi."

"Huh?" I ask, "Why's that?"

"Because you're my best friend," she says, "I worry about my parents. I worry about everyone when they're on missions. All I do is worry sometimes…so I'm glad that I don't have to worry about you – you'd be here no matter what, you're safe in the village."

"I guess." I pause. "But I worry about you, Isae."

"Don't worry." She smiles. "Takeo tends to protect me on missions."

"I worry about him too."

"He's strong. He's a Hyuuga."

I smile. "So where is Takeo-kun today anyways?"

"He said he has a meeting with the Hyuuga council today."

"He's probably bored out of his mind."

"Yeah, he is." She smiles knowingly all of a sudden. "You know how he feels about you, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"He looks at you like how my dad looks at my mom."

"Stop it, Isae," I squeal, "We're only twelve."

"So? Hinata-sama has liked Hokage-sama since she was like eight!"

I feel my cheeks burn up again. "Stop it." My voice comes out higher pitched than usual.

"Fine, fine," she says, "Don't go acting all awkward now that I told you this."

She watches as I cook. Then, after I finish, I say, "Thanks, Isae."

"For what? You're the one making me food."

"For cheering me up."

She smiles. "I'm your best friend. It's what I do."

I smile. She helps me set the food on the table. There isn't much, but there's enough to feed the four of them. "I'm going to go call them."

"Okay, okay."

I walk to the end of the hall of the compound. I knock on Shisui's door. "Dinner!" I say.

"Be out in a sec," he says.

I then walk to the room right next to his – Mamoru's. I knock on the door again. "Dinner!" I repeat.

"Okay!" he says.

I then walk past my own room to Kotori's room. I knock on the door. No response. She must still be napping. I slide open the door. She's rolled up in her bed, still sleeping. I walk over and shake her slightly.

"Dinner, Kotori," I say.

She stirs a little, then stretches like a cat. She opens her wide eyes and looks at me. "Nee-san," the little four year old says. She smiles and crawls up towards me. She wraps her arms around my waist. I frown a little.

I don't love her.

In fact, I dislike her.

I know she's my sister and I'm supposed to love her, but I just can't bring myself to do it. She's all that I am not. It's like watching my parents love another, better version of me. It's like watching everyone love a better version of me.

I'm so selfish.

"Brush your teeth and come out when you're ready. We'll wait." My voice sounds stiff. I don't mean to, but it just happens like that.

At the tone of my voice, she lets go of me.

I turn to leave the room.

Just as I reach the dining room, I hear a knock on my front door.

Isae holds up her hand to tell me that she'll get it.

I nod and then go to the kitchen. I pull out some utensils and begin placing them on the table. I put down the last pair of chopsticks just as Isae enters with Asuma behind her.

I look at him. "Sumo, welcome," I say, "My sincerest apologies, we don't have enough food to feed you."

I see him narrow his eyebrows. "That's fine. I'm not here to loot off of your family. I already ate anyways."

I nod. "Okay." I force a little smile. "Well, sit, we can all enjoy each other's company."

Isae and Asuma both take seats. Isae starts eating. Asuma looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "You're not eating?"

"I don't have an appetite."

He frowns.

Soon, my siblings arrive and they take their own seats.

"Hey Shisui, give Miyuki some of your food," Asuma orders.

Shisui looks up. "But I'm starving!"

Kotori pushes her bowl over to me. "Have some of my food, nee-chan!"

I frown at Asuma. He frowns at me too.

"I'm fine, Kotori. Just eat your food," I say.

Asuma looks away.

Soon, dinner is over. They're all done with eating. Each of them bring their empty bowls to the sink. Kotori then asks Mamoru to play and he agrees. They then go outside to play or something. I don't really care for what Kotori does. Either way, our house is safe. Our parents had placed a jutsu around it six years ago, right after the first kidnap incident.

"Wanna train, Asuma?" asks Shisui.

"No. I'm tired,' Asuma says.

"You're so lazy," Shisui says, shaking his head. He looks to Isae. "Wanna train?"

She nods. As she is leaving the room, she looks to me and gives me a supportive smile.

"We need to talk," Asuma says.

"I guess," I say as I get up. I start picking up the side dish plates. He gets up and starts picking up the dishes too.

Then, I place the dishes in the sink too. I turn the faucet and the hot water starts spilling out onto the dirty plates. I look at him. "So what is it?"

"You're mad at me."

"No I'm not."

He frowns. "You obviously are."

"No, I'm not."

"Tell me what I did."

"You didn't do anything," I say, "You have your own life and I accept that."

He raises his eyebrows, obviously confused.

"Nothing," I answer his unasked question. "It's nothing."

He sighs. "You'd think that after all we've been through, you would have learned to open up to me by now."

I close my eyes. "It's nothing. Really."

Silence. I get ready to put my hands in the hot water to wash the dishes. Asuma grabs my wrist and stops me. He then puts a finger in the water. A millisecond later, he pulls his finger out of the water. He then closes the hot water faucet and turns the cold water one.

"So how was your mission? I hear that you got to work with Sarutobi Akai."

"Yeah. She's so talented."

"So I've heard."

Silence. I turn off the water and stick my hands in the warm water. I begin washing the dishes. He isn't looking at me. He's looking at the wall in front of him.

"So where's your mom today?" he asks.

"Out with your mom."

"Oh. Where's your dad?"

"ANBU training."

He sighs again. "Miyuki."

"Hm?"

"I come here after every mission to check up on you. Shouldn't you at least try to have a conversation with me?"

"Who says I'm not."

"Your lack of emotion says you're not."

Silence.

"So why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, that's why."

He sighs yet again. "Whatever you say." He shifts his eyes onto me.

It's quiet. I can only hear the water swishing in the sink and my own slightly accelerated heartbeat.

He's still staring at me. I know why. It's not because he's in love with me or anything, but actually because he just wants to make sure I'm okay.

He comes to make sure I'm okay after every mission of his.

This has been the case since last year, after he killed someone for the first time.

That person looked like me.

He was very upset when he was brought back from his mission. Shisui didn't know what to do and neither did their other teammates. His captain didn't know what to do either. His parents tried to make him feel better. He couldn't sleep for days. Every time he would doze off, he would see my face. He would see himself killing me.

He demanded to see me.

He wanted to make sure that I was fine. That he didn't actually kill me.

And after that, he just came to see me after every mission of his, as if to make sure someone hadn't killed me while he was away.

So no, it isn't love. I'm just like his sister. I'm important to him.

And he's right. He did come here to make sure I'm okay. And I was taught better than to treat a guest like this.

"You didn't come here directly after your mission brief," I say.

"I went with Akai to the library."

I force a smile. "Tell me about her."

He isn't looking at me again. He's looking at the ceiling now. "She's a few years older than us. She's sort of like you – princess-y. She kind of is one too. Her grandfather was the Sandaime, you know."

I nod.

He continues, "She's really girly, but at the same time, she's so smart and she's so talented. She thinks fast on her feet."

"She sounds cool."

"She is," he says, "Maybe, if you had chosen this path, you'd have been like her – " He catches himself. "Sorry."

I shake my head. "It's fine. You know I'm over that stuff."

"It hasn't been that long. I know you're still not over it."

I don't like it much when people come up with conclusions of what or how I would have been like if I had chosen the shinobi life. He knows that.

"I'm fine."

He quiets.

"So what did you do today?"

"Homework."

"Anything I can help you with?" Asuma is really smart. His father is the smartest person in this village. He's the main strategist and he sometimes solves extreme questions to quell his curiosity. His mother is also really, really smart. So, as a result, Asuma is a genius.

"Nope, I'm good."

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"I have school." I pause. "What're you doing tomorrow?"

He shrugs. "Minor mission. Pulling out weeds. You would think that by now, after all that has happened, after we have become jounins, we wouldn't have to do such lowly missions anymore, but no. Apparently not."

I laugh slightly. "I'm sure Shisui will enjoy that."

"I told you, that is the highlight of all these horrible missions."

I smile. "I'm glad you find my brother's suffering funny."

Asuma laughs. "He deserves it."

Miyuki looks down. "So do you like her?"

"Who?"

"Sarutobi Akai."

"I want to get to know her better, so I guess."

"I've heard about her from my father."

"Oh yeah, she was your father's student."

"Yep," I say, "He once said that he wanted me to be like her."

"When was that?" I can tell he's a little annoyed. Not at me. At my father.

It's one of the reasons I love him. He's protective of me – and he takes better care of me than my parents do sometimes.

"Before I made my decision."

Silence.

"I've asked Shisui about it."

"And what did he say?" I ask. I already know the answer.

"He pretends not to notice…"

"I know he does."

He frowns. "When are you out of school tomorrow?"

"Four o'clock."

"I'll come pick you up. I'll treat you to something nice."

I smile. "You don't have to do that."

He smiles back crookedly. "Are you sure about that? The only time you get to eat anything good is when you're with me."

I laugh. "Fine."

I really do love him.

He is the only bright spot in all of this.


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