CHAPTER TWO

L2Max : Yo, peeps.

Kai : WHOO! ANOTHER CHAPTER!

L2Max : We would like to thank any reviewers and today, we have a flamer.

Kai: ... Thanks Ivy... -.-;;;

L2Max : 1st: YOU ATE OUR COOKIES! Ok, moving on.. I would like to see you do better. Ivy, you live one door away from me... Also, GET OFF THE CRACK! This flame is the worst I've seen. I laugh at you.


"Get ready to jump!" Kai yelled upon realizing the guards would not move. At the edge of the ramp, Kai pushed off her feet, grabbing Vi in the process. Soaring for a few moments, they landed non-too-gracefully onto the rooftops.

"Fuck, that hurts like hell!" exclaimed Kai, rubbing her butt from the fall.

"Damn straight," Vi replied, standing up and rubbing at her arms.

"Well, lets go before they come," stated Kai, starting walking away.

"Kage mane no jutsu!"

Vi and Kai both froze in place.

"Shit, you don't think it's..." started Kai, turning without her consent.

"Nara Shikamaru, the shadow user," Vi finished, looking flabberghasted.

They faced the guards at the gate, four Anbu, the Hokage, the nine rookies, Team Gai, and four jounins.

"Awwww... Fuck," Kai said disappointedly as the shadow receded back to its owner, giving them back their control.

"Dude, it's the Hokage!" Vi said, staring at the old man. "Pst, you think this is before the attack?" Vi asked in a whisper.

"I dunno. But dude... I think we're fucking screwed," Kai said, looking at all the glares they were on the recieving end of.

"May I ask why you have disturbed my outer gates?" the Hokage asked, looking at the girls in curiousity.

"Well... Err... The guards did it!" Vi said, quickly ducking behind Kai.

"Oh sure, leave me to deal with them all," Kai said, rolling her eyes. "What she meant was that we were moving too fast and the gate wouldn't open..." Kai said, crossing her arms. And they fuckin' made me spew fuckin' mud.

"I see. Everyone. In my office. Now," Sarutobi said.

"Ossu!" everyone replied, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Fuck, where's the office?" Kai asked absentmindedly.


In the office, Sarutobi was giving out orders.

"Kakashi, I want you to look after them both. Perhaps teach them some self defense. As for sleeping arrangements, Sasuke," Sarutobi said. Upon hearing his name, Sasuke glanced up. "You will provide the sleeping arrangements," he finished.

Sasuke kept his usual calm demeanor, but inside he was absolutely dumbfounded. He had to share his house with two weird, and possibly insane or mentally ill, fangirls. He absentmindidly looked up and out of the window. Someone up there must hate me...


"You think Kakashi and Iruka love each other here?" Vi asked, looking up at her friend.

"I dunno. Maybe. But, did you see Sasuke's face at the remark? Fuckin' hilarious!" Kai said before bursting out laughing. "Oh my God! I think I broke a rib!" she said, clutching her sides as Vi and her continued to laugh.

Kakashi stood there dumbfounded, not knowing how to react to such a comment. Vi and Kai, on the other hand, were telling each other about "fanfics" that they've read on him.

Kai turned around with a grin and began telling the details of a fanfic she had just finished. Said fanfic just so happened to be a mature rated Sasuke and Naruto pairing. Sasuke stood and stared at them both incrediously.

Vi looked past Kai and saw Sasuke blushing. She smiled slyly before beginning to tell more details that she made up on the spot. Kai caught on quickly and glanced over at Kakashi. After that, they both teamed up and let their perverted-yaoi minds take over.

"Oi, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto yelled out. "What are you still doing there?" he asked.

"N... Naruto..." Sasuke said, turning his back to him. Still hearing the hushed conversation, he mumbled something about being late before running off.

"What's with him?" Naruto asked no one in paricular. He then noticed Vi and Kai having a conversation a little ways away. "Oi! Vi, Kai!" They both turned around upon hearing their names called out. "Wanna go grab some ramen with me!" he yelled to them both with a cheek splitting grin on his face.

"You wanna?" Kai asked, turning back to her friend.

"Of course! I'm starving!" Vi said, smiling before they both walked over to Itchiraku's with Naruto.

"I bet ten bucks that whatever I say next will make him spit out his ramen," Kai whispered to Vi as she ate her ramen.

"Your on," Vi whispered back, taking another bite of ramen and looking at them both.

"Hey, Naruto?" Kai asked innocently.

Naruto looked up at her slurping up some ramen. "What?"

She leaned closer to him and poked a finger at his chest. "I know about your darkest secret," Kai hissed to him with a smile.

"N-nani?" Naruto asked, leaning back slightly with a noodle half hanging out of his mouth.

Kai learned in closer and whispered a few things into his ear, Naruto visably paling. She smirked in Vi's direction before whispering one more thing into his ear. Naruto burst out his mouth full of ramen and quickly stood up.

"I-I-I gotta go," he stuttered, walking off quickly.

"Holy shit, what'd you say to him?" Vi asked, both curious about what she said and mad that she just lost ten dollars.

"Oh, just a few little things I learned while reading some fanfics," Kai replied, sticking her tongue out playfully as Vi handed over a ten dollar bill.

"Tch... Cheater," Vi said before yawning. "I'm tired. Where the hell are we staying?"

"Fuck if I know... Let's go look for an inn or something," Kai said, getting up and paying for the ramen with Vi's ten dollars.

Vi and her walked around for a few minutes before she threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "Fuck! We're never gonna find a stupid inn! Does Konoha even have one?"

Sasuke suddenly appeared out of nowhere in front of them. Vi stared the patented Elmo stare (tm) and Kai took a step towards Vi as if to protect her from potential danger.

"You two are going to be sleeping with me," Sasuke said.

"Pervert!" Vi said, beginning to throw rocks she found on the ground.

"Rape! Rape!" Kai said, also throwing whatever object her hand came into contact with.

Sasuke dodged all the objects that were thrown at him while trying to control his anger. "I meant at my house, you morons."

They both looked at each other and smiled apologetically at him. "Sorry!" they said in unison before following the fuming boy back to his house.


"I call Itachi's room!" Kai said grinning and running off in a random direction in the house.

How the hell do they know Itachi...? Sasuke thought, as memories came flooding back into his mind.

Vi glanced once at Sasuke's dark look before taking off in the direction that Kai went. No one wants to be around the brooding emo avenger...

Vi entered a room where a light was on and saw Kai standing before a closet.

"What're you doing?" Vi asked before looking at the closet Kai was pointing into.

There, inside the Uchiha Sasuke's closet was a frilly, pink dress.

"... What the fuck?" Vi asked as Kai tried to hold in her laughter beside her.

"Dude... It's pink..."

"And frilly..."

They both looked at each other before collapsing into laughter. "I... I... It's a frilly dress... In Sasuke's closet..." Vi breathed out between her laughter.

"You got a camera on you? Oh my God, I think I broke another rib!" Kai said, clutching her sides and leaning against the wall for support.

"You think we shou—"

"What the hell are you two doing in my clo—" Sasuke stopped to look at the dress in the closet before glaring at them. "It's not mine, you idiots."

They both burst out into laughter again. "I would hope it's not your's Sasuke!" Vi said, leaning against the wall next to Kai.

Sasuke scowled. "Get. Out. Now," he said through clenched teeth before they burst out of the room before hearing the door slam shut.

"I sure as hell don't want to be on the recieving end of the Chidori..." Kai mumbled as she walked into the room across the hall.

"Has he even learned that yet?" Vi asked, looking around the room. "Think this is Itachi's?"

"I dunno. Let's check for dresses," Kai said grinning before sliding the closet doors open. The small room, at least that's what it looked like, was almost empty save for a dresser and some magazines.

Vi walked over to the dresser as Kai went to check out the rest of the bedroom. "... Kai, you need to see this," Vi said, trying to muffle her laughter with her hand.

"What?" Kai asked, looking over her shoulder at the magazine before trying to stiffle a laugh. "Is that... Is that..." Kai couldn't finish her sentence before she burst out laughing, using Vi as a support system.

"Yes, it's a Seventeen magazine," Vi finished, her grin nearly reaching her ears as she set it back down on the dresser and opening the top drawer. Her eyes widened considerably as she looked at what was inside. "Errr..."

Kai finally got over her laughing spute and wiped a tear from her eye. "Dude, that was rich," she said before looking back over Vi's shoulder and staring.

In the drawer were picturess of Shisui... In the shower... Naked...

"OH FUCK, MY EYES!" Kai said, quickly covering her eyes and backing into the otherside of the small room.

Vi quickly slammed the drawer shut and leaned against it to keep it shut. "My God, what the hell?"

"... This has gotta be Itachi's room..." Kai mumbled, still covering her eyes as she felt her way out of the room.

Vi quickly followed suit and flopped down onto the bed and rubbing her eyes. "The images are sticking to the inside of my eyelids!" she whined.

"If only there was a jutsu to forgetting images..." Kai mumbled, sitting and leaning against the bed before uncovering her eyes. She laid her head back into the bed and looked at the ceiling. "How the hell did we get here... ?"

"Via a television, Kai," Vi said, sighing and rolling over to pull open the drawer on the night stand.

"Yeah, that's a great. What're we supposed to tell the old geezer? 'Hey, we got here by a black hole that appeared on my television screen after we popped in a video game!'" Kai said ironically. She looked over at what Vi was digging through. "What're you doing?"

"Looking at Sasuke's nakkie baby pictures," Vi answered, taking out a few photos and flipping through them.

"Where?" Kai asked, grabbing one and looking at it before snickering. "Is there a pen or something in there?"

"Yeah. Why?" Vi asked, but digging one out for her anyway. After Kai recieved a pen she quickly scribbled something on the back of a bunch as Vi snickered. "Nice Kai, nice."


L2Max : Heyoz peeps... We would like to start off on a yaoi to straight poll!

Sasuke x Naruto (We kinda decided on this one to be permanent.)

Kakashi x Iruka

Neji x TenTen

Someone x Someone - Suggestions?

We might do mostly yaoi 'cause I started to like it and Kai and Vi arein love with it…

Also, give us some fun ideas o.o Or request something. It will all work out in due time...

Alrighty! Someone said that the techniques are hard to follow so below will be the translations to them all.

Kage Mane no Jutsu - Shadow Copy Technique
Kage Bunshin no Jutsu - Shadow Clone Technique
Katon: Ryuuka no Jutsu - Fire Element: Dragon Fire
Baika no Jutsu - Body Growth Technique
Donton Doryuheki - Earth Element: Earth Rising Wall

... We think that's what they are at least. We did it off the top of L2Max's head o-o;; (Like Kai could remember >.>) Anyway, please review xD xD