~*~Chapter One- Angelic Warmth~*~

I'm terrified. He has me unmoving, and wants me that way. His hands touch my neck, and I nearly feel a shock at the contact. He touches the string on which I keep my Millennium Puzzle, and my senses come back to me. He can't take it; he can't separate me from Ouji1! I try to fight him, but he's strong. Although he didn't expect me to come out of my temporary immobility, he still has quick reactions. He lifts my puzzle, and nearly gets it over my head, but Ouji came out of the puzzle. He looks at Akifa2, straight in his eyes, into his soul. Now Akifa's paralyzed. Ouji refuses to be separated from me. He's my Guardian. I'm relieved at his presence. He tells Akifa to go away, leave me alone, leave his aibou alone. Akifa recovers, makes a 'hmph' sound, turns, and walks away, maybe changing back into Ryou, maybe not, I can't tell from here. I am still afraid of Ouji… was he protecting me or simply not willing to part with me? Or does he not want to give the puzzle to Akifa? I am not sure… I do not know… but I do know Ouji is my Guardian, and it will always be that way, I hope.

~*~

How did that little punk stop me from getting Yuugi's puzzle?! One second victory is within reach, the next second it slips through my hands, like water, all because Yuugi's punk guardian looked into my eyes! But it felt like he looked into my soul... I slam my fist into Ryou's desk. My hand hurts now. I look at my palm. There's a splinter in there. I take it out, and lick my blood. I gaze at myself in Ryou's mirror. I suddenly realize how much I DO look like Ryou. Same hair, but my bangs are tilted upwards, like angel wings. But I am definitely not angelic. I have the same eyes as him, but mine with a more evil slope. And when I smile, it's more of a smirk, unlike Ryou's soft, gentle smile. Sometimes I wonder why I can't be like Ryou. If I look so much like him, why can't I act like him? I sigh, for the first time; sighing is something Ryou would do. I decide to return to my soul room, to think things over in private. I let Ryou come out. I keep myself in my soul room. When I catch a glimpse of Ryou, I feel my heart skip a beat.

~*~

I emerge from my soul room. I wonder why Akifa didn't even give me the evil smirk today. Something's wrong, I think, and I begin to imagine what's going on in Akifa's mind. But, I try to force those thoughts out of my mind. Tomorrow's my birthday, and I don't expect anything from Akifa… I doubt he even knows. Why does he always make me feel I have only a name and no life?! The day is clear and happy, but I am all but clear and happy. I walk out the door to meet with my friends, Yuugi, Tristin, Joey, and Téa. They smile as though they had not a care in the world. I believe they mustn't have a care in the world, for Ouji would never hurt Yuugi, and the others don't even have a Yami. I smile to cover up for my misery, and the others presume I am happy.

~*~

I look over to Ryou. He seems distant, far away. I wonder what's on his mind. No one else seems to care about him much, but I can't help worrying about him. After all, during the Dueling Tournament a while back, I was the first to see him. Now, he always seems so far off, and why is it I'm seeing so many scars now? Is something happening to him, and is he not telling us? Maybe I shouldn't worry about him so much, after all, if he has something to say, he would tell us, and if he didn't, I would assume he wanted to keep it private. Both ways, it's up to him to either tell us or not.

~*~

Why is Téa staring at me? Is her hobby worrying about people? I can see it in her eyes… she wants to know what's wrong. I can't tell her. I can't tell anyone. I feel the urge to tell someone, anyone, but I cannot, for Akifa would just hurt me more. I don't think I can stand anymore pain, both physically and emotionally. I sigh aloud, and Téa turns to face me.

"Ryou, are you all right? You seem very distant lately. Is anything wrong?"

I shake my head. "No, nothing is wrong. Thanks for asking, though." You're probably the only one whom thought of me. For a moment, a split second, my shield of happiness falters, and drops. I feel Yuugi's inquisitive eyes on me as he sees me staring at the ground, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"Ryou," Yuugi says in his gentle voice, "What is wrong?! I know something must be wrong. Just tell me, Ryou, what is it?"
"Nothing," I say, "nothing."
"Ryou, I know something is wrong. Come on, tell us."
"Yuugi," Téa says, "You shouldn't try to force Ryou to tell us. If he wants to tell us, he will, if he doesn't, then, well… if he doesn't, we can't blame him."
"I guess you're right, Téa. Tell us if it's really getting out of control, all right? I don't want to see whatever happening to turn into something unhealthy, or fatal. We're your friends, Ryou, you can tell us anything," Yuugi says. Maybe I can tell Yuugi. After all, he too has a Millennium Item. Maybe he can help solve my problem.
"Yuugi," I begin, "May I speak to you? Privately?"

Yuugi nods, and the rest of my friends go away to somewhere else. He and I stand beneath a tree.

"Yuugi… it's my Ring."
"What's wrong?"
"Well, it's not the Ring itself, it's the Spirit within the Ring. It's Akifa."
"What has he done?!"
"He… well… he's been giving me 'attitude adjustments3'"
"Ryou…"
"Yes…?"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!"
My head snaps up at Yuugi's sudden display of concern and anger.
"I… I didn't think you would understand… I mean… even though Akifa is hurting me, I don't want you to tell anyone."
"Why not? We should tell someone."
"See?! You don't understand! Akifa is me, and I am him. To hurt him is to hurt me. To separate him from me is to take away something from inside me."

~*~

I hear what Ryou is saying from inside him. What does he mean by 'to separate him from me is to take away something from inside me'? I was never part of him to begin with. And I am most definitely not him. And if someone were to hurt me, or kill me, wouldn't Ryou be relieved? He wouldn't have to suffer my torture daily. He wouldn't have to feel the pain of my words, and my notion of him. But what he says is partially true… though it is the other way around. If someone were to take Ryou from me, I would have something missing from inside. Wait… what am I saying?! I never agreed to be part of Ryou in the first place. I was bought like junk, and then given as a gift. Whoever gave Ryou the Ring apparently did not think of what may happen to him. Ryou is often an enigma to me, he is so elusive. When I hurt him, I see a whimpering fool. When he is with his friends, I see a kind-hearted person, joyous and forever happy. But sometimes I see a mirror image of myself, or at least I see my fire in him, and my determination.

~*~

What? If I hurt Akifa, surely it would not hurt Ryou? After all, Akifa is not part of Ryou… he and Akifa are not one and the same. But still… I see it in his eyes, he is speaking the truth. There is more to this than simply Akifa's hurting Ryou. Something deeper. Something… true. Affection? But he can't… maybe he can. You never know about Ryou. Maybe he DOES feel for Akifa. You never know. Maybe I should just leave him alone… I guess he needs the time.

"Well… Ryou, I guess you need your time."
"Thank you for understanding. Now, about my birthday…"
"Ah, I nearly forgot! So we'll have the party tomorrow?"
"Yup! You and all of your other friends are invited. And Ouji."
"Good! I'll bet the party will be a good one."

~*~

The next day…

~*~

Finally, the day of my birthday party! I am finally going to turn sixteen… and FINALLY catch up to the rest. Well, maybe Yuugi's still younger… catch up to MOST of the others. I finish preparing for my party, and at the exact same moment, the doorbell rings. I walk up to the door and open it, and there are Yuugi, Joey, Tristin, and Téa.

"Well! I just finished preparing, and then the doorbell rings!"
"Well… it can't hurt to be early, right?"
"I guess so… anyway, come on in!"

Yuugi and the rest of his friends walk into my home. They walk into the dining room where my table is piled with food.

"FOOD!!"

I can't help smiling as I watch Joey and Tristin lunge for the food at the same time.

"Hey! Save some for us!"

As usual… Téa's reasoning.

"Ah yes, I almost forgot! Here's your present, Ryou!"

Yuugi brings a package out from behind his back and sets it on his table.

"It's from all of us to you. Go on, open it!"

I carefully unwrap the package, and open the box. Inside is a small picture frame, and in the picture frame are five Duel Monster cards: the Change of Heart, Magician of Faith, the Dark Magician, the Flames Swordsman, and the Cyber Commander.

"A token of our friendship. And since we're all obsessed with Duel Monsters… why not have our favorite cards put into one thing?"
"Thanks… I'll put it into my room," I say, and then do so.

~*~

When they are gone, or rather, when the author is too lazy to write about the whole party…

~*~

I am so tired… I'll clean up tomorrow. I collapse into my couch, too lazy to walk to my room. I immediately fall into a dreamless sleep.

~*~

As Ryou is sleeping, I emerge from his ring. I part from him, and look down into his face. He looks so much like an innocent little girl… I gently touch his face, finally, at last. I've wanted to for the longest time. His face, so warm… I gently bend down to brush my lips over his warm face. My lips move from his eyes down to his soft cheeks, and then to gently brush over his lips. The feeling I get after doing so… it's so wonderful, so addictive, so… beautiful. I kiss his lips over and over again, knowing this would probably be the first, last, and only time I would be able to do this. When I feel Ryou stir, I stop, then return to the Ring.

~*~

I stir from my sleep, and then awake. I see the last flash of light from where Akifa was, and my Ring slowly fades from its bright light to a dull glow. I touch my face, still feeling where Akifa's lips were. He may not know it, but I'm a very light sleeper.

Kaze ga yoseta kotoba ni
oyoida kokoro
kumo ga hakobu ashita ni
hazunda koe

Tsuki ga yureru kagami ni
furueta kokoro
hoshi ga nagare koboreta
yawarakai namida.


(My heart was swimming
in words gathered by the wind.
My voice bounded
into a cloud-carried tomorrow.

My heart trembled
in the moon-swayed mirror.
Soft tears,
spilled with a stream of stars.)

Those words run through my head, words from one of my favorite songs I heard, from one of my video games.

Suteki da ne
futari te wo tori aruketa nara
ikitai yo
kimi no machi ie ude no naka.

Sono mune
karada azuke
yoi ni magire
yumemiru.

(Isn't it beautiful?
If we could walk, hand in hand,
I'd want to go
to your town, your home, in your arms.

I dream of being
against your chest,
my body in your keeping
disappearing into the evening.)

How true those words are to me… My dreams are always filled with Akifa. But it's strange… he physically hurts me, and I have never heard of someone whom loves… their other.

Kaze wa tomari kotoba wa
yasashii maboroshi
kumo wa yabure ashita wa
tooku no koe.

Tsuki ga nijimu kagami wo
nagareta kokoro
hoshi ga yurete koboreta
kakusenai namida.

(Words halted by wind are
a gentle illusion.
A tomorrow torn by clouds is
the voice of a distant place.

My heart that had been
in a moon-blurred mirror that flowed,
Those stars that trembled and spilled
cannot hide my tears.)

I feel tears fall down my face now… I know I can never tell Akifa I love him, curse my shyness.

Suteki da ne
futari te wo tori aruketa nara
ikitai yo
kimi no machi ie ude no naka.

Sono kao
sotto furete
asa ni tokeru
yumemiru.

(Isn't it beautiful?
If we could walk, hand in hand,
I'd want to go
to your town, your home, in your arms.

My dream of your face,
that I softly touch,
melts in the morning.)


I wish I could, but I know I never will. Or maybe I can…

~*~

All lyrics are from Suteki da Ne from Final Fantasy X (10), ©opyright Nubeo Uematso.

A/N: Sorry… the end must have sucked, but I wrote this at 10PM with an annoying Grandma locking me outside of the room while the 'all-perfect' *ahem* brother was sleeping. Please review!!