When I was born the stars shifted. I was Tenten of the heavens, or so my grandmother told me when I was seven. Perhaps she was lying to placate a smiling little girl asking about her parents, but I'd like to think that what she said was the truth. My life was never meant to change the world, but the whole universe. Sounds amazing, doesn't it? Well, changing the cosmos isn't all that it's made out to be. It's hard, and annoying, and well, not what I'd like to spend my time doing. It's also not always a good thing.

I grew-up quickly in life. My parents died before my fourth birthday. They went out of retirement to help on some mission that I still don't know about; I was almost always alone afterward. My grandmother was very old, but she did what she could for a tiny girl. She died when I was eight. She gave me love, what children need the most, so I survived.

After I lost literally everyone, I decided that I would carve a place for myself in the world without love. I'd seen everyone disappear on me, and was quite cynical in my loneliness.

At eight I became a ninja. Well, I first went to the academy, meaning that I could live on my own. I had no one, so I was obsessive in class. I learned to fight. I didn't have friends to help, so I learned what I could on my own. This meant learning weapons. This was one part of being a ninja that no one could match me in. No one had to show you how to hold a senbon or a kunai. It's easy. Extremely so. Anyone can do it. I just learned to do it better than anyone else. The instructors loved me for it, and I was one of their prized students.

At the academy I was the perfect student. Well, Neji was there too, so I was the second most perfect. Neji was a genius, so none of us really bothered to compete with him then-Lee hadn't reached that point yet.

The only things that I could do better than the prodigy were hold and throw a shuriken (or any other weapon). He was the best at everything: the Hyuuga genius. They adored him, and I was very jealous of him. No, I was not really jealous of his talent, but more for his huge family. There were hundreds of Hyuugas. He even had a little cousin in the year below us. His family was a perfect juxtaposition to my completely absent one, or so I thought. I didn't hate him for it, but I was jealous.

When we graduated I knew that he and I would be on the same team. It was traditional, after all. The two best would be with the dead last. If poor Lee graduated, then I knew that he would be with us. Neji must have known it too. The fool probably just didn't care.

When we met Gai-sensei I am sure that Neji was furious. I didn't mind him. Lee and he had much in common. He was a jonin and would help us all become strong. If I wanted to be like Lady Tsunade, then I needed an instructor.

Gai-sensi forced us all to work on our taijutsu, and although Lee practiced the hardest and was by far the best, I wasn't far behind. Neji just avoided fighting with Gai and Lee's version of taijutsu, but I'm sure that even he could never match Lee in a pure taijutsu spar.

Although Gai obviously favored Lee, I don't think that Neji and I minded too much. We spared together, all the time, but he never spoke and I just prattled on. I've always been very good at talking and making people like me. I won't lie and say that listening was needed on Neji's part. Lee and I at least did talk; when Gai-sensei wasn't shouting about youth with Lee, he and I chatted. Did you know that Gai is married? Bet that you had no idea. Almost no one does, and he likes it that way. I still haven't met her and probably never will. She's from another village and apparently they only see one another every few months. They always meet at the same spot because they aren't allowed to exchange letters unless they're searched first. Sounds romantic, doesn't it? I bet Ino would love this sort of gossip.

I grew on my team in many ways, including as a person. I had never invested in another person since my grandmother, but I cared for Lee and Gai, and sometimes Neji, but I never loved them. I knew better. They were teammates first. I would die for them, kill for them, but not because they were friends. They were teammates and we had a mutual responsibility to one another.

Sounds like crap, doesn't it? But this is honestly what I believed. My heart was hardened and I really didn't love them. I wish that I could say Lee was like my brother or Gai a father, but those feelings only came later. I was soft and kind to the world, but carried a rock in my chest.

When we found Lee during the chunin exams fighting for Sakura, I could understand what he did for a fellow leaf-nin, but not for love. He barely knew her, and he certainly had no place almost dying for someone that he barely knew, especially when we were all risking our lives.

When I watched Neji try to kill his cousin just a day later, I was confused. Here was a member of his family, one who offered him love, yet he tried to kill her. He scorned love, and I just didn't understand it. Why would you hate your family? Why would you reject love given so freely? I decided then that he was just stupid and slightly hated him.

I knew about the main and branch families, but to allow those who would love him . . . to allow his anger to become so great . . . I just didn't understand.

Neji and I kept training after the cousin incident, as it was necessary for our progression and for his match against Naruto, but I didn't pull back like before. If my shots happened to graze his arms, he never said anything. If he needed to have a particularly jagged cut above his eye healed at the hospital, he never complained. Maybe he believed that I had become more passionate after my defeat. The truth was that I just didn't care for him. He was a jerk and barely a teammate. There was nothing redeeming him.

During the match with Naruto, I was not rooting for my teammate. Naruto cared so much for everyone, and Neji cared for no one. It was about choices. Naruto was an orphan, just like both of us, but Naruto fought for love. Neji fought for hate. I admired Naruto. Neji was an ass and my scorn for him was even greater than my regard for Naruto.

When I watched Neji fall I wasn't shocked like the rest of the crowd. I'd trained with Neji and knew that he was good, but Neji was fighting for himself. Naruto fought for everyone. He was the one destined to win, whether Neji realized it or not.

After the invasion, Neji did change. It wasn't instantaneous like everyone assumed, but he started to care. His clan and his cousin were no longer just obstacles. They were suddenly meaningful and Neji really did have everything that I wanted.

I stopped hating him, but that didn't stop my resentment.

I only really noticed his changes on our missions. He was still as silent as ever during our one-on-one training sessions, but when he risked his life for Lee, I noticed a difference. He wasn't so selfish. Maybe he was redeemable. Maybe I was too.

When he finally asked me a question during our training sessions (after the months of my silence), I hesitated. He wanted to know about my life. This had nothing to do with a mission, yet here he was, asking about where I lived. It turned out that he was paying attention during those team bonding sessions.

I started talking again, not much at first, but a bit. He seemed to have missed my endless chatter when I hated him.

Our relationship grew, and when it was just Neji and I, I realized that he cared. I'll never forget when I made my first kill. I almost skewed him when the concerned boy wouldn't leave me alone. He didn't want to stop talking.

Maybe he finally realized how close we all stood to losing our lives. Whatever it was, Neji was suddenly a much better fighter and we all were improved because of it. We were becoming a real team.

I started to care, too. Funny, isn't it? The only girl on the team cared last. I've never been like other female ninjas; I was orphaned early on. Each of my teammates had at least one person who loved them. My team must have sensed it, because suddenly they really wanted in on my life.

When I was sad, suddenly Lee was there (or occasionally Gai-sensei or both of them) to talk. Neji would listen to me vent with is quiet "Hn's" throw in to show that he actually was listening. (I already said that he didn't change overnight.)

I did not fall in love with any of my teammates, no matter what anyone tells you. I did eventually love them, and at sixteen I had a new family. I was older, mature enough to recognize real love. They weren't just teammates or fellow leaf shinobi. I wouldn't just die for them; I would suffer for them. I knew it then, and I know just how true that is now.

Neji of course pulled ahead of me and Lee. I wasn't too far behind though, and I made jonin before anyone in our age group besides the prodigy. Being a jonin isn't just about power, and I can tell you that better than anyone. You need to be able to think. To defeat your enemy, even when they surpass you, you must learn to rise above them. I was on a team with the Hyuuga Genius and the Genius of Hard Work; it wasn't terribly difficult to understand this concept.

I was offered a spot in ANBU before Neji. Don't ever mention that or I would have to kill you. No one knows except the Hokage and whoever was assigned to me. Neji was too hot tempered for what he would've been doing, even if he did have more raw power and talent. I passed their tests, but ended up declining. The questions from Lee and Neji, the concern in their eyes, it was too much with the heavy physical toll. I thought that none of us would end up joining. I figured that we were too close to separate. I was of course wrong, and underestimated Neji's drive. I always underestimated him. I should be used to it by now, but I of course always forget about his insane determination.

I joined shortly after him. It wasn't difficult. They knew why I didn't go. Lee followed close behind and contrary to popular thought, Neji and I were never on the same squad. Neji was never my captain. I was never his subordinate. I don't know what our lives would have been like if I had been, but our friendship would never have progressed like it did. He would never have fallen in love with me.

Lee was my teammate on most missions. We worked well together, having been together for years and being one short and one long-range fighter. My abilities had progressed by this point and I developed a killer jutsu. It literally was murderous and could take out hundreds with a single deployment; weapons are made to kill.

With one well-placed "poof" as a distraction, two hundred people could be dead. Few escaped my technique, and Lee was always there to clean up the mid to high-level ninjas. I mostly killed low-level and civilians. Sounds honorable, huh? It's how I earned the name 'Baby Killer.' I didn't actually purposefully kills kids, but they were often in the villages that Lee and I would be sent to destroy. I'm sure that some of them were caught in the cross-fire. I'm not proud of killing, but I am proud of my village. I didn't use my newest jutsu often, but it earned me a place in Bingo Books anyway. I had thankfully stopped wearing my patented buns whenever I was on a mission, but I'm pretty sure that Neji knew that the 'Baby Killer' was I.

Neji never understood killing like I did. He never seemed to like being a captain. He wasn't so horrified by killing itself, but the potential repercussions. He hated ordering others to be murderers. Maybe he asked not to be my commander. That probably saved him a lot of heartache.

Neji would show up at my house after my missions, sometimes with Lee and Gai, but he didn't say anything, about what he figured I was doing. Most of our "talking" was glances or me prattling on. Occasionally he contributed too, especially when he was obviously bothered by whatever bothered a Hyuuga, but I knew one thing: he was scared of losing Tenten.

During these sessions I realized that he was falling in love with me. I knew that I was literally the only female that he spared more than a few words for outside of Lady Tsunade, so it was bound to happen when his hormones finally found their place. Even his little cousins never received visits like me. Neji was a good man, but I wasn't ready to love someone. I was eighteen and still had too much to accomplish. And besides my life, there was his. Neither of us was ready to give up ANBU and I wasn't sure that I ever wanted a related family again. He'd want that. He'd want it all. I was happy with Neji, Lee, and Gai and my family. I didn't feel a need to be related to any of them.

When we were twenty he almost confessed to me. There are few things more entertaining than watching a stoic Hyuuga Neji pace outside your door for twenty minutes. Actually, he climbed through the window after five, but it was still hilarious. He checked to see that I wasn't home, but didn't use his Byakugan. He knew better after that incident when we were fifteen. If he'd been braver that day, then he would have seen me watching him.

I chose to avoid him; I had no idea what I would do or say if he did confess. I had underestimated him (again) and never planned for the actual event. Thankfully, Neji lost his nerve after about another thirty minutes in my house.

The next day I acted as though nothing had changed. He showed a bit more affection toward me, but I ignored it. No one else would notice.

I didn't know my own feelings for Neji until our last mission together. There were six of us, two for me and two for him, and we had been assigned to destroy a Sound fortress. We had no difficulty with the assignment, until a second contingent showed up. Neji of course saw the reinforcements, so we tried to retreat.

One of my men was almost left behind; not all ANBU are as fast as Lee. I had to go back for him. Even as an ANBU, teammates were important to me. I managed to fight off the Sound long enough for my man to get away, but my jutsu always left me winded. Using it a second time nearly killed me. To Neji, I'm sure that I really looked dead. I don't remember what happened, but protocol requires leaving bodies when deemed necessary. My body held no secret jutsu of the Hidden Leaf and all of our group must have know that I would be the best one to be taken. I'm not from a clan, and my skill was always mine alone. Besides, I realized that dying for people that I loved wasn't such a bad way to go.

When next I awoke, I wasn't really awake. I was inside of my body, but I couldn't control it. I had Ino practice on me once, and I would describe the experience as something akin to that. I could talk to him, even sometimes influence him, but I was never completely in control. He didn't expect me to stick around. Apparently the few times that he'd used this jutsu, the host had always been consumed or at least silent and unknown. He hypothesized that being near death and unconscious had saved me. My brain waves had been nonexistent, but switching bodies kept me alive. I owed him a debt, and he was always quick to remind me. He had saved my life, although unwillingly.

He teased me for a time about my poor chakra coils. Never had he seen an ANBU quite like me. In retaliation I would jeer at his many losses to Lee, a ninja with almost no chakra.

He never admitted it, but he was very afraid. He didn't like having someone else in his body. The feeling is disconcerting, as I can tell you. Our consciousnesses never melded, but we did influence on another. He came to favor my weapons, although he could never handle them quite like me. He could throw though—very well. And he improved my strength with chakra. My body was twice as strong. My chakra capacity grew with each day. He was making me strong, and I couldn't fault him for that. I cooperated to an extent, but I never allowed him complete control. I didn't stop his training, though. We thought as one during our battles. That was never an issue at least. His own men were brought before us to test our abilities. I would never allow him to use my skill against the Leaf.

My refusal to fully cooperate was probably what kept him hidden for so long. He never left his fortresses except when moving locations. He was always afraid this body would be discovered. He must have wondered what would happen if I fought against him with everything.

When Neji finally comes, Orochimaru and I are so distinct, yet so together, that even Orochimaru feels something when he sees the Leaf: anger. It keeps him in control. It allows him to kill Shikamaru and that other ANBU.

Love allows me to save Neji. Bet you thought that he was dead, right? Even Neji probably thought the same before he collapsed. For those few seconds that I am able to take control, I have to convince Orochimaru to let me kill Neji. When the blade severs the blood flow to his brain, he has five minutes before brain damage sets in. There won't be any permanent damage if everyone returns before then. He's dead to the world until someone pulls out that kunai.

I start counting silently before he even falls. It takes thirty seconds for Orochimaru to gloat. Another thirty before we hear the others, and thirty more before we leave.

The bastard has no idea what I've done. I can only pray that Lee or one of the others recognizes my technique. I used it once before, for three minutes and fifty seconds. I'd killed Lee. I just hope that Lee's ability to open the gates wasn't the only thing that saved him.

We make it past the others without any incident. We're back in the forest within thirty seconds and I know that by now they have either saved Neji, or he's as good as dead. I hope that he's dead if they were slow. A dead Neji is better than a brain dead Neji. Orochimaru is not one to admit to running, but even he fears an angry Naruto. The demon is probably nearby.

Orochimaru gets away without too much preamble. When next I pay attention to our world, we're somewhere in the desert. He has a base here, one that even Gaara of the Sand hasn't discovered.

"What's your plan now?"

"I could have killed them all had you not been so insistent on interfering."

"That's not what I want, and you're scared shitless of Naruto anyway. We all are."

"After having you as a guest for three years, I'd gladly kill them all."

"You should reevaluate who is the guest."

"I own this body now, as you can well understand."

"Not completely. And without my assistance you'll never be able to reach its full potential."

"You never rebelled this much before."

"I never had as strong of a reason."

"I would enjoy this body so much more if you were gone."

"I would enjoy this body so much more if you were not in it. You can switch soon, you know?"

"Aren't you afraid that you'll die when I do?" Maybe, but he doesn't need to know that.

"The bodies before broke down, mine had not."

"My justsu must be near perfection."

"Or the host is still caring for the body."

"You'll never get it back."

"I will if you switch. And I'll kill you while you get control of the new host."

"You'd kill an innocent?"

"I've killed hundreds, Orochimaru. In your name and in the Leaf's. One more means little."

"You really are a perfect 'Baby Killer,' aren't you?"

"That doesn't bother me. I earned that name, Orochimaru."

"Ku, ku, ku. You would have made a great ninja, Tenten. We could do so much together if only you'll assist me."

"You're vile, Orochimaru. And I can't tell whether you're propositioning me or asking for my help. That makes whatever you mean doubly creepy."

He doesn't reply after that and I'm sure that he's grown tired of me. I'm not all that entertaining to a mad genius. Why must I be surrounded by these brilliant minds? Next Sasuke or Naruto will be my long-lost brother, or maybe lover, and then Shikamaru will be my cousin.

It's really unpleasant to think about the last one. He was a good guy and I'm sorry that he's dead. Orochimaru's aim is not perfect, but it is very unlikely that anyone could survive that toss.

When we arrive, the bastard isn't tired in the slightest. He owes that to my phenomenal stamina and I of course owe that to Lee and Gai-sensei. Bastard would be so much easier for the Leaf to catch if he'd taken some slow fool.

He starts working on one of his weird experiments quickly after arriving. He doesn't even seem bothered by what happened. He's still trying to make a perfect vessel, but this one won't work either. They never work. This body is as good as he's going to get. Maybe he'll snag a blood-limit like Neji's, but that's only going to last for one body. Unless he really can learn the secrets of a blood-limit. I'm suddenly all the happier that I killed Neji. Even if he's gone, he'd rather die then end up like whoever is inside that tube.

No, I am sad. Of course I want to cry, but I cannot. When Orochimaru sleeps I can weep. I'm a former ANBU and current container of Orochimaru. I've hardened to the world. I'm lucky to feel anything.

You're thinking about how I said that I love him, right? I do. As much as I've ever loved anyone. If he asked me to marry him (and I were not the host of Orochimaru), I'd jump him. I'd never look back. OK, maybe I would, but I've suffered enough, don't you think?

Orochimaru is mixing something together and the fumes are noxious. Our nose is twitching, no doubt this is preparation for some dastardly deed against humanity, when we hear a loud crash.

I've told you several important pieces of information regarding my story. Firstly, I did tell you that I always underestimated him. Secondly, I said that I was always wrong. I always underestimate geniuses. Thirdly, Naruto was not in the first group, but he is the world's deadliest weapon, and one should never lose sight of him. Fourth, jonin need to be able to fight and win against those stronger than them.

Naruto blasts his way through whatever guards are in this place, Shikamaru holds the body, and Neji is before us within thirty seconds of the first noise. Lee's there too, but I don't think that he's needed to do much besides watch Neji. Neji shouldn't even be moving around at this point, but we know how stubborn geniuses can be.

He's shouting at Orochimaru, but it's strangely fuzzy and difficult for me to hear. Of course, I can make out the many 'Tentens,' but not much else.

Whatever the hell Orochimaru just did is messing with us. Neji is gripping my shoulders and screaming my name now. That selfish jerk needs to let go because I'm starting to feel that.

With my mind still working in the failing body, I question my jailer.

"Orochimaru, what are you doing? You snake bastard, answer me!"

"Your perfect aim was off, Tenten. Looks like I'll get another experiment after all."

"Don't even look at him, Orochimaru. You'll never get his blood limit. He's not stupid." I sound angry in our head, but I don't think that emotion is well conveyed in the voices of the mind.

"He will come freely if I exchange you."

At this point I don't know if he's switching bodies or going to actually make a trade, but I don't care. Neither is happening while I'm still alive.

I killed Neji to avoid this and kept him alive because I love him. My mistakes won't jeopardize the world.

I can't fight Orochimaru for control; I know that I will lose if I do.

"Orochimaru, just escape. I'll cooperate. You and I both know that this body survives because I am in it. You want that perfect jutsu and need me to figure it out."

"O Tenten. It's true that you need to exist in here, but I'm cutting you off. This body will be just mine unless you are assisting me. Sounds perfect, doesn't it?"

Panic finally starts to set in; he's figured out a way to separate me. I'll just exist in here.

"There's no way in hell I'll help you then."

"You will if you want to experience life. Sensory depravation is true torture."

And with that everything goes black-silent.

It is the scariest thing in the world to hear, see, feel, smell, even taste-nothing. I'm trapped in the world of nothing, and I can't tell how long. How can I keep track of time when there is nothing? I can speak, but its like talking in my head. I haven't been alone in three years, yet suddenly there in no one, nothing.

I'd like to think that I last at least ten minutes before I start screaming for him. No, not Neji. Orochimaru is undoubtably the one who can hear me.

"Finished, 'Baby Killer?'"

"Yes! What do you want?"

"Your cooperation of course."

"You'll have it! Just stop this!" And suddenly I have control. Everything is back. It's my body. Completely mine. Neji is still gripping me, Shikamaru's shadow is still holding me, and Naruto and Lee are still staring.

"Neji! Kill me! Do it! Quickly!" Something's gone wrong and Orochimaru isn't here. Recognition flashes in those white eyes as Naruto and Lee both take steps forward. Only Shikamaru remains unaffected; he requires concentration.

"Do it! One of you! He'll be back at any time! Something's wrong!" I'm shocked that he hasn't resurfaced yet. He's not taking over.

It's a silent room as they all just stare at me.

"I'd do it for you, Neji! You know that I would. I nearly did!" I'm pleading with him, and he knows it.

And then he's kissing me, holding me to him in a crushing embrace. Great gods, what great timing this man has.

He stops just as suddenly, placing his forehead against mine as he whispers, "I can't, Tenten." He's stuck something in my neck. He's taking me back to the village trapped like this. They're catching him, and it means that I'll be like this for who knows how long. They'll get what they can from me, well him, and it will be me that suffers for it. Orochimaru won't feel any torture. He'll make sure it's me that faces anything the Leaf uses against us.

"You're stronger than I thought, Neji." I whisper it as I feel myself falling. He holds me and gently lowers both of us to the ground.

They've all backed away from us and even Shikarmaru's shadow has receded. Whatever they have done to me must be extremely potent.

"I thought that you'd love me enough to kill me," I manage to gasp out with a tiny smile.

He wants to speak, but I silence him with the tiniest movements that I can still manage, placing my hand on his arm. "It's for the Leaf, Neji. I understand. You'd want me to do the same."

He looks stricken, horrified by what he has done and what will be done to me. "I love you enough to save you, Tenten. If they can't get him out . . . if they want to torture you . . . it'll be me, Tenten. I'll take your life. I'll kill you, but only if there's nothing else to be done."

And with his final words of comfort, I'm asleep.