Project PYE (Pass Your Exam)

Written by: Tribunal

Comment: Just a break from studying, some writing I came up with when revising (hm...)

Synopsis: Shiro decides to help Saber pass her sciences, whether or not the right or wrong way...

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Chapter 1- Chemistry: Lab Basics (Rin)

The next day was a cloudy one, and it was the first science lesson that she would be having with Rin. She personally invited her to her laboratory (1).

When our favourite blonde arrived at the surprisingly modern laboratory which contrasted the old appearance of the Tohsaka mansion, she breathed in and out slowly.

"Hello, Saber, hope you did not take long to find my science lab? Well... let us start with a few things... take out your notebook (2), for I am going to introduce to you the apparatus that are commonly found in a lab."

As Saber took out her notebook, she noted containers with different contents of different colours (3).

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Rin started with the lighter.

"This, as you can see, is a lighter. Something we use regardless of whether we are cooking or doing an experiment."

"I didn't know we used THAT to cook the food."

"Ur... I mean to start the flame that will cook the food."

"OK..."

"And this is the Bunsen Burner, it is a slightly adapted version of the gas apparatus on the cooking table, as you can see, this one is supplied from the pipe and is lighter and much easier to use."

"So why can't we use the gas on the cooking table to do our experiments?"

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Rin continued to explain the various glass apparatus on the table.

She picked up the glass rod.

"This, is a glass rod. We use it for stirring mixtures and do other things that we can do with it, for example, supporting a lightweight object in an experiment (4)."

Saber replied, "So why don't we use it to stir the water on the wok, or use the wooden stirrer for this job? Or use a stick to support the lightweight object?"

Rin replied, "Ur... do you want to eat poisoned food? Or look at your experiment fall apart because the stick snapped? I think not..."

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Rin then took the round-bottom flask. Unbeknownst to her, Archer entered the lab as well.

"This, Saber, is a round-bottom flask. Make a drawing of it in your notebook. It is use in experiments to boil liquids."

Archer looked very delighted and outright disgusting.

"And this, is a conical flask. It is used in experiments to boil liquids as well, but it is flat-bottomed, so you can place it on the table, unlike the round-bottom flask."

Archer starting drooling. (5)

Rin felt a drop of saliva on her shoulders and impatiently slam her foot on his. Then, she simply ordered him to get out in an untypical Rin-ish way (6).

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After another hour, both of them made it to the end of the lab introduction. Rin, however, seeing that Saber was interested in the chemicals as well, decided to introduce them to her as well.

"Lesson 2, Lab Chemicals.

"Let us start with this. (Takes beaker of water) What is the liquid inside?"

Saber thought of it for a while (7) and said, "Vinegar."

Rin smacked her forehead in dismay and asked, "What made you say that? It is water! Vinegar appears nearly nowhere in science experiments."

"Oh..."

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"When heating liquids in a boiling tube, you have to make sure that the angle that the tube is pointing at is 45 degrees. Now pass me the tube marked 'EFS (Experiment for Saber)' which contains potassium.

"Ok..." replied Saber as she passed her the test tube.

"Now you are supposed to heat it like this..." Rin did the exact same thing as she said, but a moment later, she noted the test tube with EFS on the test tube rack and wondered what she was holding.

"ETH?! Ethanol?" (8)

KABOOOOM!

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After about another half an hour's time on clearing up the mess (for Saber) and re-dressing appropriate attire (Rin)(9), they were back to the lesson.

"Alright, here is the test tube with potassium. Heat it at a 45 degrees angle."

"Ok..."

Saber took the test tube by hand and put it directly above the flame, and at 45 degrees angle. However, her hand felt burning hot and she dropped the test tube right inside...

THE BEAKER OF WATER! (9)

KABBOOOOOM!

Rin replied after the dust had settled, "One, you are to use the thongs to hold the test tube when heating. Two, maybe I should have asked you to heat water instead..." and collapsed on the ground, raising a white flag. "I give up..."

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Footnotes:

(1) The button on the doorbell: "If you are going to the laboratory, press the green button. If not, press the slightly greener button." Saber pressed the correct button, and the door mat turned into a hole through which she dropped inside the lab.

(2) Rin's explanation: "The art to mastering exams, tip 1. You must learn a sacred art, that is the art of taking notes."

(3) School rumour: "Wow... I heard that Tohsaka is experimenting with human flesh and sandwiches. Whoever is living with her must be having a tough time..."

(4) A test of Biology. "You are to find out the effects of osmosis on potatoes using only these ingredients. Water, amylase."

(5) Round-bottom: Archer looked at Rin's miniskirt. Conical: Cones... Archer looked at Saber's chest.

(6) A loudspeaker, a deaf Archer... shattering of glass, you know what happened... She simply yelled at him to get out.

(7) "What if this is one of Rin's secret tricks to make me look totally pathetic? I must fall for this one even though this smells like vinegar, tastes like vinegar and looks like vinegar!"

(8) Ethanol + Heat Explosive Reaction

(9) Potassium + Water Explosive Reaction. Simple as that...

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Alright... another chapter done. Send in your comments!