Lacy swiped the back of her hand across her dry lips and stared across the scarred dining room table to where the light source was birthed from-the kitchen. In the kitchen, Jason, one of the evening staff, was taking inventory of the pantry, a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other; he pointed the latter, his mouth silently moving as he counted the number of cans, boxes, and jars. She turned her gaze to Liby, who stared down at a paperback novel open on the table before her; her face rested in her hands and her eyes didn't flick back and forth the way they should when you're reading.
Because she probably wasn't.
She was thinking.
And maybe even fantasizing about something...something far away from this nightmare, something so achingly beautiful that Lacy couldn't let herself dwell on it too long or she'd break down like the way she did earlier, sitting in one of the bathroom stalls and sobbing desperately into her hands, hot tears staining her cheeks and throbbing pain in her chest. She didn't want to cry again. She fucking hated crying; it was a sign of weakness, and she was anything but weak. In fact, she was the strongest, fastest, toughest girl here.
She didn't like feeling weak.
She despised it.
Yet as she watched her sister pretending to read, thoughts and emotions assailed her from all sides. There were the usuals - anger, hatred, and depression - but there were also new ones, ones that she thought she recognized from long, long ago, ones that she hadn't felt in years, ones that she no longer had names for, if she ever did. Her mind went back to the show, to the Dad putting his arms around his children...to the warmth and love and happiness in their eyes. Inexplicable anger filled her chest, and she curled her hand into a fist.
She wanted that-deserved that feeling. Goddamn it, she wanted a mom and a dad to love her and tuck her in and tell her how proud they were of her; she wanted to be held and smothered in kisses and…
Tears welled in her eyes and she surreptitiously wiped them away. She didn't have it and that was that. Only…
Everyone has a family, don't they? She knew nothing about her own, but there had to be one...somewhere...people who would love her, cradle her in their arms when she was sad, people who would make her happy and take away the sometimes-near-suicidal depression she never copped to feeling.
She looked at Liby again and sighed.
You kids mean the world to me, even if I don't always show it. I love you both.
Her fingers drummed on the edge of the table. She was starting to feel restless, claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on her. Yes, she remembered these emotions very well now..hope turning slowly to chest tightening, heart clutching panic when she realized just how alone she and her sisters were in the world, that there was nothing out there for them, no one.
Everyone has a family, though. They had to: People don't come from orchards like oranges, they come from a mother and a father. She came from a mother and father, so did Lacy and Lupa. Even if their parents weren't good people, there must be someone else...aunts and uncles, maybe...grandparents…
Her fingers drummed faster. Her stomach was in knots and it was getting hard to breathe.
She had to have someone...anyone...but she didn't know. Her past was a blank; as far back as she could remember, this had been her life...cold, institutional, no parents, only impersonal 'staff' who didn't give two shits about you at best and actively hated you at worst. The not knowing was the worst part: When she was a little girl, she imagined that somewhere...always close no matter what town she was in, what group home...a huge and happy family existed with three missing spots in it, one for her and each of her sisters. She could never imagine the faces of her relatives, but she saw them nevertheless, aunts, uncles, cousins, step cousins, grandparents, mothers, fathers, great-grand uncles, a thousand people, a million.
Realistically, there was probably no one.
Drum. Drum. Drum. A desperate tempo.
Her mind was working.
She had to know.
Working.
Please, God, I just want one relative, okay?
Working.
She looked at Liby, then at the head of the hall to her left. There were twelve doors that opened off that corridor. Ten to bedrooms, one to the bathroom...and one to the basement, where things were kept, things like extra office supplies, sports equipment, surplus furniture (some of it broken), a pool table...and files...files that told the sad, broken story of every child to set foot into his hellhole since 1990. Lacy knew because last summer she and a couple other girls were tasked with carrying boxes crammed with them from the third floor storage room.
She licked her lips and thought. Getting down there would be easy...very easy, in fact.
"Jason?"
Jason glanced over. He was a tall man with sandy blonde hair and muddled hazel eyes.
He was also nice; most of the girls had crushes on him, but not Lacy. Nope.
"C-Can we go to bed?" she asked. Liby didn't look up, didn't move; it was all the same to her.
"If you want," Jason said and turned back to the pantry.
Lacy got up and went around the end of the table, where she stood over Liby. Liby took a deep breath, then stood, grabbing the book and following Lacy through the dayroom, where a group of girls watched TV. Lacy spared them a fleeting glance: She hated just about every single one of them.
The door to the basement was halfway down, past the bathroom. Cold fluorescent lights bathed the hard tile floor in a sterile white glow. One of the tubes at the end, near the door with EXIT over it (and an alarm on the handle) flickered with a soft, forlorn sound. At the door, she glanced back, saw that no one was looking, and pushed through it. Liby stopped, her head turning and her brow furrowing. "What are you doing?" she asked.
Instead of replying, Lacy grabbed her by the front of her blouse and dragged her in before anyone could see, then eased the door shut behind her. For an anxious moment she waited to see if someone would come after them. When they didn't, she turned to Liby, whose eyes were wide.
"We're gonna get in trouble," the older girl said, her voice a low hiss.
"No we're not," Lacy said and glanced down the stairwell. Steps led to a landing, then more steps led down into the bowels of the building. "Just be quiet and follow my lead."
She turned and started to descend.
For a moment, Liby stayed where she was, her hands balled to her chest and her heart throbbing with fear. They were already in trouble, they didn't need more.
When Lacy disappeared around the corner, however, she hurried after. "What are we doing?" she asked the back of her sister's head.
"Getting our files," Lacy said.
Liby stared at her, utterly baffled at the very notion of something so risky. The thought alone was enough to make anyone quake with worry. Liby backed off slowly from Lacy's softened grasp and shook her head.
"W-We can't do that…" Liby said softly, looking down.
Lacy could only groan at the sudden cowardice.
"Come on, Lib!" Lacy said excitedly with only a hint of annoyance.
Liby shook her head. Lacy sighed and rested her hand on Liby's shoulder.
"Look…" Lacy started. "You want to know about ourselves just as much as I do. So, why not risk it?"
Liby looks down and then back up at her.
"Lupa will be upset-" Liby started before Lacy placed her finger over her lips.
"She'll be fine with it if she knew what we were doing," Lacy says. "Lupa might want to know, too."
Liby didn't believe that in the slightest. Liby knew Lupa as a person. Her likes and dislikes, her body language-everything. Liby knew Lupa had this weird hatred for adults and authority figures. Liby was never really sure why that was, but she believed it had something to do with her beliefs about parents and the idea they really didn't need any. Liby craved that stable nuclear family life, but she knew Lupa thought that they did not need any parents now considering how much they managed to handle without any at this point.
Liby can't deny Lupa is a fairly good leader and that she had a motherly appeal to her, but she can be cold and sometimes selfish when it comes to her and Lacy looking for love from others.
She didn't want to upset Lupa, but Lacy was right, she did want to know.
Sighing, she nodded. "A-Alright."
Lacy smiled. "Let's do it."
At the bottom of the stairs, a narrow hall opened on either side of them, the walls bare plaster and a confused mess of wires running along the crook where they met the ceiling. Rusted pipes shook and groaned as they passed, Liby glancing nervously over her shoulder; even though Lacy was here and would protect her, she hated the basement. It reminded her too much of all the illicit scary movies the weekend shift let them watch. It was far, far too easy to imagine some kind of girl eating monster lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce and rip out her soft insides.
Shadowy archways loomed and fell as they made their way to the record room. Part of the basement was nominally a rec center, but they were rarely ever allowed to use it.
The record room was ahead to the left; cobwebs danced in the harsh white glow of fluorescent lights and bugs scurried along the floor ahead of Liby and Lacy's passage. A series of red filing cabinets lined either side of a stone wall, with only a narrow space for walking. Liby looked over her shoulder and listened for the telltale signs of someone approaching, but there were none. That meant nobody knew they were down here.
Lacy walked the rows with a furrowed brow, her finger tapping the placard on every cabinet as she passed: 1994-6; 1997-8; 1999-2001. The files of the current residents were at the very end, because of course they were. The L records were kept in the next to bottom drawer; she dropped to her knees, dust, dirt, and bits of stone digging into her flesh. She glanced over at Liby. "Go in the hall and keep watch," she said.
Liby blinked. The hall? By herself?
Licking her lips like a woman about to embark on a delicate though vital task, Lacy pulled open the drawer and started flipping through the files. She caught a flash of movement from the corner of her eye, and turned: Liby was standing there, looking at her with a worried expression. Lacy started to snap, but stopped herself and took a deep breath. With Liby, you had to be gentle because even the slightest show of annoyance might send her off on a panic attack (Lacy doesn't love me anymore! Oh no!) and right now Lacy did not need that crap.
"Just go out and listen," she said patiently, "stand...two feet away, alright? I'll be here, I won't let anything happen to you, okay?"
A moment passed, then Liby nodded hesitantly. "O-Okay." She turned and went out into the hall, her feet shuffling on the concrete. Lacy frowned after her. Sometimes, Liby and her many anxiety disorders really got on her nerves...as did Lupa's militant hatred of adults. Like...get over it, okay?
Shoving those thoughts aside, she dug through the files until she found one marked LOUD. It was thicker than the rest, which told Lacy that hers and her sisters' information was combined. For a moment, she simply looked at it, her heart racing. This was it...the moment of truth...once she opened it and read what was inside, there was no going back...for better or worse. She reached out to pick it up, but her resolve threatened to crumble, and she pulled back.
Alright, Loud, she told herself, do you want a family or not?
The jolt of hope in her heart was answer enough.
She did.
Very much.
She plucked the file out, turned, and leaned her back against the cabinet, her knees drawing up. She opened it with trembling fingers, her heart crashing, her stomach twisting.
The first file was marked L-1, LIBY. The second L marked file, named L-2, LACY. The final L marked file, L-3, LUPA. Lacy scanned each one and set it aside when it didn't contain the information she wanted. Most of the stuff was case history crap. In hers, Dr. Nelson, the therapist, wrote: Ms. Lacy displays characteristics of a narcissistic personality disorder, believing herself to be better than the other children.
Lacy blinked. Of course she did...because it was true.
In Lupa's: Traits of clinical depression, bipolar disorder, and a deep-seated mistrust of and disrespect for authority figures.
Liby's: Generalized anxiety disorder; OCD; panic disorder; social anxiety disorder; abandonment issues.
There was page after page of stuff like this, but nothing on their origins.
Until the end.
A single sheet of yellow paper headed CASE INTAKE stared back at her. Under that was a date ten years past.
She picked it up and began to read.
Lupa opens her eyes with a light gasp escaping her lips in a setting unfamiliar. She was sitting in a chair at a table-mahogany table. She looks around the darkness and smirks. She felt like she as if she were in an interrogation room of a police station somewhere; nothing new to her. The room has a singular light shining directly above her, while the rest of the room was in darkness. She wasn't sure what was happening, but didn't seem too bothered. She assumes it's just an office somewhere, where some cruel soul will sit across to say her and her sisters have to hit the road. She had a few sly remarks loaded in the verbal revolver she wielded-cocked and ready to defend her actions.
However, the quietness of the room was started to disturb her.
She reaches into her pocket for a cigarette, feeling like she'd need a quick nicotine fix before setting it off. She froze. She wasn't wearing her hoodie. She looks down to see what could have been the issue only to have her eyes buck. She was suddenly wearing a...school uniform. It has to be a private school uniform, navy blue sweater vest over a white short sleeve button down shirt with a tie of a darker blue shade around her neck. She had a midnight blue or pure black shirt on and what looked like general brown church shoes and knee high socks.
Lupa blinked from total loss. She was totally thrown for a loop. She patted her hair and gasped lightly. It was shorter and felt...silky, like it been just washed and brushed. She would normally take a comb and aimlessly bat it through her bed head when she'd wake up in the morning, but she never actually sat down and tried to style it. But it felt so clean, light and, to her, most likely cute in appearance. It made her gag a bit. This wasn't her. She doesn't dress like this. She would NEVER dress like this for anyone.
"Something is wrong…" she said to herself.
She gasped.
"W-Wha?!" she said to herself in a panic. Her voice wasn't the low, cold and mildly deadpan, gravelly delivery. Insted it had a more...bubbly, cutesy, buttery delivery to it. It felt so wrong to hear her own voice. She didn't even notice her body at that point began to shake.
"M-My voice! What the heck happened to my-" she paused.
Heck? She was trying to say "hell". What the "HELL" happened to her voice.
"What the f-f-f-f-f-fudge?!" She said. "Fuck!" she thought. She can't even swear like she'd normally do.
She was still sitting in the lone beam of light in the room with the rest still coated in darkness. Lupa usually was never fazed by fear, but right now, for the first time ever, she is legitimately terrified. It's like she's not even herself but she is herself-the clothes, the hair, her voice-nothing felt very Lupa to her. But...she was Lupa. But she wasn't Lupa. But why is that? Where is she? What's happening? Who's watching her? She scoffs and had the most Lupa thing on her mind-to get the hell out of there before things got any weirder. Alas, she couldn't even be granted that luxury.
The sound of two clicks sounded off above her, causing her body to stiffen and not move like she would like. In front of her, across the table, a vision appears before her-her two siblings.
Both of them dressed the same as her. Liby lacking her long hair and her headgear with Lacy without a sight only rang more alarms in Lupa. This was wrong-this wasn't them. It couldn't be her sisters. At that thought, both of them looked directly at her. They looked...clean. Their hair looked lush, eyes clear and their appearance-perfect.
The two managed up a smile.
"Good evening, sister!" they said in unison.
Lupa could feel her eye twitch and her body tense. The greeting was too unsettling and had this sinister spell to it. She ignores this feeling of unease. Lupa is able to ride against her unease and leans toward the table.
"G-Girls…" Lupa said in her new, girlish voice, causing her to groan. "I don't have time to explain, but we need to get out of here!"
Her sisters giggled. She snaps back into place before moving forward to the table. Something about their cheery response filled her with a thick dread.
Liby stops giggling with a pleasantly soft sigh.
"Lupa, my silly sister, why would we ever leave?" Liby said.
Lupa couldn't understand why her sisters sounded so peppy and confederate. Liby is normally too shy to look away from her and Lacy any other day. No-this is wrong. That can't be her Liby.
"What are you talking about?" Lupa asked softly. "Where even are we?"
Lacy clears her throat.
"We're home, Lupa" Lacy said plainly. "Don't you remember? It's dinnertime."
Lupa blinked.
*Clink!*
The muffled thud of porcelain hitting the wood table in front of her. She looks before her to see a plate of spaghetti. It looks like something from the magazines. Golden noodles with a bright red tomato sauce, bits of sausage, onion and peppers with perfectly spherical meatballs. The faint scent of wine rising from the steam of the meal along with hints of garlic. This spaghetti wasn't that spicy ketchup and generi-pasta slop from the home.
Lupa noticed a fork appearing in her hand. She gasped. She looked up to her sisters and saw them eating and enjoying their dinner in such a casual manner, it actually upset her. How dare they treat this so normally while she rattled in fear. She was slowly getting more upset at the thought. She stared at her siblings, expecting them to look up from their plates and await her interactions. Nothing like that happened. They just ate and spoke among themselves, saying something to Lupa here and there, but Lupa was growing so angry, everything sounded muffled.
Then, a heavenly sansation.
The buttery and zesty delight on her pasta dinner somehow found its way in her mouth. Angel hair pasta. Seasoned meats. Flavored oils. Was she eating? She looked at the fork that was in her hand to see spaghetti rolled perfectly around the teeth of the stainless steel instrument, bleeding sauce onto the festive flavors were dancing wildly on the beds of her tongue. Food-actual food. Something warm and not from a can, plastic tub, or government stamped brown box. She looks up from her plate to see her happy looking sisters. This moment felt...wrong.
Why was she eating? She didn't even know where it came from. She allowed the fork to plop onto the meal, making a clunk sound as it dug down and hit the plate. Lacy and Liby looked at Lupa with silence, mouths full of food. Lupa slammed her hands on the table and raised up.
"The heck, girls?!" Lupa shouted. "Why are you guys not freaked out by the-"
"Lupa, dear!" said a sweet yet booming feminine voice that sounded off to her right. "Please don't shout at the table!"
"She's right, dear!" said a hearty male voice that sounded off to her left. "Listen to your mother!"
The sound of canned laughter is heard.
Lupa blinked.
"Wha…?" Lupa said.
Lupa looks around and was taken aback. On her left and her right. Darkness. Lupa looks ahead to her sisters and grew paler. Their faces were buried into their food, the skin color blueish and the rims of their eye purple and shollowen. Lupa covered her mouth and trembled in her chair. They were dead.
"W-What the fuck just happened..?" Lupa thought to herself. "I looked away fro a second…they can't be….they...j-just can't be…"
Tears flooded her face and her face began to ball up, every knot in her face full of sorrow. This couldn't be happening-canned laughter filled the room. Out of the blue, two beams of lights appear on both sides of her, the overlapping of the recorded laughter muffling the room as the bodies of her dead siblings, is eaten and erased by the white light, along with the table and her. Lupa didn't make a sound. White. Pure whiteness. The scene, the voices that were there, the lights, her sisters-gone.
Lupa is the one on there. She looks around to pause. A low humming is heard.
"Do not take...medicine…" a voice rung.
Lupa stood still.
"Do not...leave sisters…" The voice sung. "There is no happiness...there…"
Lupa looks up to the sky.
"They will...lie…"
"They will….hide…"
"Do no...let him in…he is innocent...but she...she serves two masters...she will ruin all...all will come to light...then baptized in black.."
Silence swamps the space as the world slowly grows dim.
"Lupa?"
"Lupa..?"
"L-Lupa?"
"Yo, Lupa!"
Lupa's eyes opened wide and she sat up bleeding sweat, gasping like she recovered from drowning from the deep end. She runs her fingers through her hair before turning to her side. Next to her, in the dead of night, was her sisters. Lupa's eye's slightly watered. She hopped off the covers of her bed, grabbed ahold of her sisters and hugged them closely.
Liby and Lacy traded looks and just joined the hug, hoping to breeze pass the fact they were out past curfew.
"I'm so glad to see you.." an emotional Lupa said, giving a faint smile.
Lacy chuckled and sighed with a smug smirk. "Geez, sis. I know I'm amazing but…" Lacy teased.
Liby smiled brightly. "T-Thanks, Lupa...w-we love you t-"
Suddenly, Lupa grabs the collars of both of their shirts and pulled them towards her, yanking the two toward the bed. Both gave a meek yelp as Lupa gives them a stern face.
"Where have you two been?!" Lupa growled through her teeth. "You were suppose to be here-"
Lupa paused to look at the clock on her nightstand.
"Two hours ago!" Lupa finished.
Lacy pulled away from Lupa's grasp and held up a sheet of yellow paper. "We were getting this," she said, her lips turning up in a proud little smile that Lupa was all too familiar with. I succeeded just like I knew I would, it said. Sometimes Lupa found it endearing...other times she found it annoying and had to fight really hard to keep from slapping it off her lips. Right now, after that terrible fucking dream, it was beautiful.
"What is it?" Lupa asked.
Lacy held it out, and Lupa took it, dropping to the edge of the bed, Liby and Lacy sitting on either side of her. The only illumination came from cold light spilling in from the hall, so she had to squint.
CASE INTAKE.
Below that were the words: DATE OF SURRENDER followed by a date ten years ago last month.
Beneath that were their names and ages: Lupa (2), Lacy (2), and Liby (3). A brief note followed: Children were turned over to state by parents. No signs of physical or sexual abuse or neglect.
Lupa's chest tightened. "Where did you get this?" she asked.
"The file room," Lacy said, "me and Liby went down there."
"Why?"
"Just keep reading."
Lupa glanced at her sister, then back to the page. Toward the bottom was a box labeled PARENTS followed by two thick black lines. There was a third box. It' was blacked out except for one part-the name of a town. Royal Woods
A pink sticky note was adhered to the very bottom of the page. On it, someone had written: PAID UP FRONT. BLA- RECORDS.
"That's our parents' location," Lacy said, a note of excitement in her voice.
Lupa ignored her. BLA. What the hell did that mean? And paid upfront...paid upfront for what? She looked up at Lacy, who was smiling widely now. "You know...home."
"Home?" Lupa blurted, her mouth puckering as though the word was sour.
Lacy nodded.
Lupa started to speak, but trailed off. For the first time in her life she was utterly speechless. What did Lacy mean by home? "Our parents abandoned us," she said, trying to stay patient. "We have no home."
"There's gotta be someone else," Lacy argued, "aunts or grandparents...and maybe our parents miss us and want us back." She was practically glowing at the prospect...and the hope Lupa saw in her eyes, the dumb, blind, optimistic hope made her inexplicably angry. She had enough to deal with on a daily basis without Lacy getting herself and Liby all worked up over a piece of fucking paper.
It was that dumb show; it got them thinking. This wasn't the first time something like that had happened - they'd see a movie with a happy mama bear, daddy bear, and baby bear, and get all sentimental. It was really fucking irritating because there's no place for sentiment here, only grim resignation. Maybe spoiled little rich kids living in the suburbs can afford it, but not them. Lupa learned that the hard way. She had hope once...she got sentimental...and you know what that got her? Shit. It got her shit...and heartache. She tried again and again to get them to realize this, but they just wouldn't listen.
They were setting themselves up for failure.
"Lacy," she said firmly, "our parents do not want us...our aunts and uncles, if we have any, do not want us. Nobody wants us. If they did, we wouldn't be here right now."
A shadow flickered across Lacy's face. Maybe it was anger...maybe it was self-doubt. "You don't know that," she said, "we could have a whole family that loves us. We -"
"We don't," Lupa said, fighting to keep the annoyance from her voice. "Look, I get what you're feeling, but you need to face facts: Our family gave us up. Even if there are...fifty fucking people in that town related to us, what good will that do us? They already kicked us out once." Her voice was beginning to rise as her anger started to get away from her. "What do you want to do? Go there like a dumbass smiling all over yourself just to be turned away? Real smart. Let's go begging to a bunch of adults even though every adult in the whole world has fucked us over."
Lacy's eyes narrowed. "You know what? Fuck you. I am gonna go there. So is Liby. Better than sitting here and waiting to be shipped off."
Lupa started to say something, but stopped. She wasn't wrong about the waiting to be shipped off part. Tomorrow, or the next day at the latest, they were out the door, and probably going in three different directions to boot.
"I-I think we should go," Liby said, "I really want a family."
"You have a family," Lupa said and slapped the edge of her palm against her thigh, "me and Lacy. There's no one else."
"You don't know that," Lacy said.
"Yes I do," Lupa said tightly.
"No you don't," Lacy said and got up. "You're just being gloomy and shit. You're afraid to hope or something."
A ball of hot rage formed in Lupa's chest, and she pressed her fingertips to her temples. Were they really this goddamn naive? It was simple: They were unwanted...they were given up...a-a-and that was that. How could they not see that?
She drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. She understood where they were coming from...but they needed to suck it up. "I'm being rational," she finally said.
"Staying here and waiting for Matt to kick our asses out is rational?" Lacy asked, her hands going to her hips.
Lupa sighed. "We'll go. Tonight. Now."
"Great," Lacy said, "to Royal Woods."
"No, not to Royal Woods," Lupa said, "there's nothing in Royal Woods."
Lacy bent at the waist. "You. Don't. Know. That."
Lupa loved her sisters...she wanted to protect them from being needlessly hurt...but Lacy was a stubborn little bitch sometimes. She needed to learn the hard way. "Fine," Lupa said, "alright, let's go." She jumped to her feet. "Let's get kicked to the curb again since you morons haven't had enough of that already. Maybe if we're lucky, we'll meet our uncle Bill, he'll take us in...and then molest us. Doesn't that sound fun?"
A ripple of uncertainty crossed Liby's face.
"It sure does to me," Lupa said and turned to Lacy. "How about you? Doesn't that sound like a good time?"
Lacy pursed her lips but didn't speak.
Shaking her head, Lupa crossed to her dresser and yanked the top drawer out. "Pack your best panties, girls; gotta look nice for Uncle Bill the Rapist." She rummaged through underwear and socks until she found it, a thin wad of bills she'd saved up doing extra chores. Four twenties - eighty measly dollars. It was all she had. All they had.
"We're not gonna get raped," Lacy said to Liby, who was starting to hyperventilate.
Maybe not physically, but emotionally. Well...not her, but them. They were going to get their hopes up only to have them dashed to bits.
Well...that was on them. Right now she couldn't worry about their feelings...she had to worry about what the hell they were going to do after finding Royal Woods a bust. Where would they go? How would they live? That was her burden, and right now she had to bear it alone because they were too starry eyed and building castles in the fucking sky.
Flashing, she slammed the drawer closed and turned; Lacy and Liby sat side-by-side, Lacy's arm around Liby's shoulder and Liby's gaze downcast.
"Good job," Lacy said, "now she's worried about getting raped."
Lupa went over to the nightstand, opened it, and took out her cigarettes. "No one's gonna rape you," she said and slammed the drawer, "we're not good enough for love...we're not even good enough to fuck."
Lacy throws her hands up in a quick spastic motion and groans loudly.
"Why?" Lacy nearly shouted.
Lupa scoffs. "Why what?"
"Why are you so against this?!" Lacy snapped. "We have no other options!"
Lupa stares at Lacy.
"Because it's hopeless," Lupa said coldly. "They don't care about us!"
"How the HELL do you know that, Lupa?!" Lacy shouted.
Lupa groans and digs through her nightstand again aimlessly. Liby stares at the floor while Lacy stares daggers at her sister. Lupa pulls out a medium sized atlas of the United States and tossed it on her bed. She opens it up and thumbs through the pages.
Liby lifted her head quickly like she wanted to say something, but pauses, only to be scared of Lupa's or Lacy's reaction to her statement.
"...G...H….I...J….K…" Lupa mumbled to herself. Lacy lets out a groan before Lupa slams her finger in the center of the page. "Aha! Michig-"
Lupa freezes. Lacy and Liby looked at one another, lost why Lupa stopped so ebruitly.
Lupa sighs.
"It's worse than I thought…" Lupa said with a chuckle. She hops off the bed and walks across the room and sighs, cig at the ready.
As Lupa places the cig to her lips, the other two stared at the page. Lotown was to the south while Royal Woods is to the north. The two girls get excited and lightly squeal, so happy they know where the town is. Lupa could only inhale and rub her temples.
"I can't believe it!" Lacy said it. "It's not far from here!"
Liby shares in her sisters delight. "I know! I'm so ex-" Liby started before stopping. She shook a bit before turning to Lupa, who had her back turned to her. Lacy turns her head to Liby, confused about her sister's sudden behavior. "Lupa…" Liby asked softly. "H-How far is Royal Woods-"
"Thirty minutes" Lupa said coldly.
Lacy looks up to Lupa from the bed."W-What..?" Lacy said.
"Thirty. Goddamn. Minutes…" Lupa repeated. "They are basically up the damn road. If they really 'cared' or really "missed us', it would take them ZERO time to come see us. But guess what?" said Lupa as she walked over to the atlas. She grabbed it and tossed it back into nightstand drawer without a care. "They. Never. Came. Back…"
Lacy and Liby are quiet now. None of them were aware of the town of Royal Woods or just how close it is. All they knew was Lotown. The abandoned trap houses on Lakeview, the hookers and suffer of kerosene on Riggsdale, the hot shit smell of Commons and the loud cloud of toxic sin that looms over Zel Island, the house graveyard in Figgs, the rumble walled ghost town of on State Fairgrounds-this was all they knew. To marinate on the thought that their so-called parents left them here, in a town so dead and dangerous, why bother looking for them? Even if they were close by?
Lupa takes a long drag on her cigarette.
Lacy looked to the ground while Liby's eyes started to water. Lupa knew there's no way they can be happy here. But, she was also sure the chance at happiness there was dead and buried forever ago. They were stuck in a town that's decaying, breeding crime, murder and full of people who haven't even finished middle school. Lupa knew that on their own, the chances of them dying are higher. Starving, freezing to death, being raped or sold into prostitution, getting hooked on drugs-everything evil that could happen might. However, Lupa was smart. She could plan a way to keep everyone safe enough to where they can live decent lives. They could eat. They can sleep soundly. They didn't need a mom or dad. Lupa could sell drugs. She could steal cars. She could do anything to keep them afloat-
"Let's do it anyway…" Lacy said quietly.
Lupa coughs mid-drag and looks to Lacy.
"What?" Lupa said in a flat tone. Completely baffled by such a ludicrous statement.
Lacy walks over to the window and sighs.
"I have hope…" Lacy said. "Me and Liby have hope...I know you love us, Lupa. I know. But we don't have anywhere else to go. And the chances of us making it to see eighteen years old is laughable here...we're going to die here...and I don't wanna die yet…"
Lacy sniffles. "Not yet…" she said with a heavy voice as she starts to cry.
Lupa freezes. Lacy doesn't just cry. She usually does when she fails at something...so often. But to have her cry because something other than her pride is broken shocked Lupa. It even struck a chord with her.
"H-Hey, Lacy-" Lupa started.
Lacy quickly turns to Lupa. "Sure!" Lacy nearly shouted as she points at Lupa. "W-We could still go and leave you here! But we're not gonna! W-We want to be happy! We want a chance! But I'm not doing it without you!"
Lupa stands there, looking away as the loosie stayed lit in her mouth. Lacy walks slowly to Lupa.
"Gimme your hand…" Lacy requested.
Lupa groans. "Lace.." Lupa said softly.
"Gimme…" Lacy demanded.
Lupa slowly and reluctantly lifts up her hand and Lacy holds it and chuckles.
"Lotown girls unite...remember?" Lacy said.
Lupa's cheeks brighted after hearing such an embarrassing statement. She always regretted saying it-it wasn't cool.
"I-I was 6 when I said that, Lace-" Lupa started.
"But it means something to me-to us" Lacy says and she turns to Liby.
Liby, holding tears walked over and held her hand over her sisters'. Lacy smiled and turns to Lupa.
"We are in this together. We're all we ever had. And...and I don't want to live a happy life. Or a sad life-any life...without you with me…" Lacy said.
"Please…" Liby said. "Can we at least try. W-We can at least see what's out there. But we aren't leaving you here."
"Come on, you Ice Queen-Lotown Girls?! Lacy asked.
Lupa couldn't believe it. What a corny thing to say. How cliche. How childish. This wasn't some run-to-the-mill after school special. This wasn't Lifetime. This wasn't one of those stupid, cheaply tacked together sitcoms these two were crying over mere hours ago. Lupa knew this, but why did all this stuff touched her so deeply? Lupa was firm. Blunt. She's been this way for what seemed like ever. But is there's one thing that never seems to change, it's the love for her sisters. She knows if they go, the chances of disappointment will be at its highest. And she feels the only way they will understand happiness isn't in Royal Woods is to go for themselves, she thinks it will be the best lesson. However, Lupa knew deep down, she would never let her sisters fall victim to the wolves. She'd dive in and die for them before that ever happened.
Lupa sighed and walked away from her sister, nearly causing their pleading faces to draw frowns of despair. She heads back to her bed, making the other think they didn't do enough to motivate her. Out of the blue, Lupa pulls out a duffel bag and opens it on her bed and starts for her dresser. Lacy and Liby's mouths gaped.
Lupa sighed.
"We have to make a few stops before we head that way. It'll be a few hours, but if we are really going to do this, we have to be prepared for-" Lupa started.
"Oh, my! L-Lupa! You're serious?!" Liby said shocked.
Lacy smiled widely. "Does this mean we're going?!"
"Just...pack your shit before I change my mind…" Lupa jested with a chuckle.
The other two started to randomly pick things up, zipping back and forth and running into one another as they do it. Lupa just folded her clothes and placed them calmly in her bag and shook her head silently, finding how excited they were comical and sweet. However, her smile begins to fade, for she believes this may lead to nothing but pain.
She wakes up with a gasp. That dream again. The one dream when she came downstairs and saw that awful moment.
She trembles and sighs. She's just in her bed. She wipes the beading sweat that nearly hovered along the skin of her forehead with a swift flick of the palm. She sucks air in through her adorable gap in her teeth and combs through her blonde hair with her manicured nails as the pearl colored nail polish shine like clothes metal in the moonlight. As she tries to think about the awful dream again, she pauses. A whimper.
She turns her head to see a little girl there. Long blonde hair, mess and thrown every which way. It was her sister.
"Lizy?" the girl asked quietly but sweetly. "What's the matter?"
The little girl known as simply Lizy hugged her stuffed green dragon toy closely to her chest, looking down before looking back to her sister with shining sad eyes. The girl could only say "Awwww…"
"I had a bad dream…" said Lizy as she holds her dragon toy for protection.
Leia shook her head.
"No, no, we can't have that" she said calmly in an attempt to soothe her fearful sibling. "What to sleep with Lei-Lei?"
The girl quickly nodded. The girl moves over to make room for the child, who couldn't be more than three years old. Lizy places the dragon between her and her sister and laid down as the girl sweps her long pink silk nightgown back under the covers and laid down as well. She turns to her sister with a sleepy face but a warm smile.
"Better?" she asked softly.
Lizy nods with a smile.
"Now get some rest, okay?" asked the girl.
"Okay. Love you, Leia…" said Lizy as she slowly closed her eyes, hugging her little fuzzy friend for comfort.
"Love you too, Liz…" Leia said softly.
Leia stared at the ceiling, sleepy but unable to return to sleep. There was this strange thickness in the air-a dense sense of confusion. It bothered her. Unable to shut her eyes, she feels as if something was wrong. Something very strange was about to happen. She didn't know why this was or where it's coming from but she sensed something was indeed amiss. Maybe it's just the fear from the dream she had. Maybe not.
She closes her eyes and tries to catch up on her sleep before the morning creeps in, but she doesn't sleep a wink.
