The Curse of Being Me

Chapter 2- Declarations

"Are you working today?" Amelia turned to sit at the kitchen table, a fresh mug of coffee in her hand. Sookie was already sipping from her own mug as she nibbled a piece of toast.

"I'm on at eleven and I'm working till closing. Sam asked me to cover for Holly." Sookie shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. She blatantly ignored the frown Amelia was giving her.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright? I can ask Trey to push back the trip."

Sookie could hear Amelia worrying about leaving her alone, but she also knew how much she had been looking forward to the weekend break with Trey.

"Don't be silly. I'll be fine, Amelia. Just go and enjoy yourself. Do you know where he's taking you, yet?" She took a small sip from her coffee as she watched the adoring look spread over her friend's face.

"No idea. He says that he wants it to be a surprise so that I can see his romantic side."

The two friends sat talking for a few more minutes as they enjoyed their breakfast. In the end, Sookie had to get up to start getting ready for her shift at Merlotte's.

"Have a wonderful tine, Amelia." Sookie said into a friendly hug.

"Take care of yourself, Sook." She pulled away to look Sookie in the eye, "I mean it! No getting beaten up or shot while I'm gone, y'hear?" She wagged her finger like a mother scolding a child. They both laughed and Sookie ran off to change into her uniform.

Despite the length of her shift it passed quickly and uneventfully. Sookie remained in a blur as she served customers with a fake smile and forced herself to pretend everything was alright to those around her. Sam asked her if she was feeling okay several times, but each time she smiled politely and lied with a simple 'fine'.

At midnight Sam told her she could go home and leave the closing of the bar to the other waitresses. She quickly gathered her purse from his office and headed out to her car, all she wanted was her warm bed. It had been a long day and she ached everywhere. Unfortunately, Eric stood pressed against her car, his face glowing slightly in the moonlight.

"Good evening, lover," he crooned with a wide grin at the sight of her.

"What are you doing here, Eric?" Sookie moaned with exhaustion in her voice.

"I need to speak with you. I did not wish to interrupt your work, but this is very important." One look at his unusually serious face and Sookie knew she could not put off this conversation until another day. Her heart sank. The last thing she wanted was to have to talk to Eric.

"Fine, I take it you flew here?" She asked looking around for his car. He nodded to her with a small smile. "Then meet me at my house. I'm tired and want to be home. I'll talk to you there." Bowing his head slightly in thanks, Eric pushed up into the air and was gone in a matter of minutes. "Damn vampires," Sookie cursed as she climbed in the car.

When she pulled her car at the back of her house she found the lights on and the door open. She silently cursed herself for not rescinding Eric's invitation and trudged inside. Eric was sat in the living room, his long legs stretched out from the couch to the coffee table. A steaming mug of coffee was beside him, along with a tuna sandwich.

"I thought you might be hungry," he explained as he saw her stare at the food.

"I am," she stated simply, before tromping off to wash and change.

She quickly brushed her hair and teeth, washed her face and dressed in an old set of blue pyjamas. Walking into the living room she felt a rush of anticipation over the bond but she blocked it out. She didn't want to risk Eric feeling her and she had only learnt to block the bond both ways.

"Go ahead," Eric urged as she slumped into the couch beside him. "Eat."

"What do you want, Eric?" Sookie sighed; exasperated she just wanted to go to bed.

"Last night I finally got my memories back of the time I stayed here. I do not know what caused me to remember, but since that moment I have been desperate to speak with you." Eric watched Sookie's face as he explained himself. He was hurt to see her expression never changed. She continued to nibble on the sandwich with a look of indifference. He pressed on, "I cannot begin to express to you how ashamed I am of the way I have behaved since that time. In my defence I was struggling with many emotions that had been lost to me. I am so truly sorry, Sookie. I don't know how you survived. It pains me to know that I have caused you great pain."

"Cut to the chase, Eric," Sookie snapped. "So you remember, wonderful. What do you want from me?"

Eric turned so his whole body was facing her. He reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I love you, Sookie. I have loved you for some time, but remembering that time..." He paused and a dreamy smile appeared on his face. "Those were the happiest moments of my existence. I want you back. I swore I would bring you to my side, Sookie. I wish to keep this promise, my love."

Calmly placing her plate down on the coffee table Sookie frowned up at Eric, "No. If you thought you could come here and sweep me off my feet you were mistaken. I refuse to put myself in a position like that again. You broke my fucking heart, Eric!" her voice rose to near screams. "And you did it while threatening me with a smile on your face." At his dejected expression and slumped shoulders her voice softened. "I don't hate you. I love you too much to hate you. Is that what you wanted? I love you, I do. But, I will not be treated like a pathetic idiot human again, I won't. I'm not stupid, my Eric is gone. I know that. You are the Viking vampire sheriff of area five, Mr Badass, there is no place for me in your world...at least not one I want." Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now and she was hugging her stomach to hold herself together. "I'm sorry, Eric, but it's not going to happen with us."

Eric reached out and held Sookie's hand in his. He let all his love and hurt shine through his eyes. "Why? I know I am different, is that it? What is the reason you won't give us a chance" His voice remained soft, gentle, although it was strong.

"You are different, but that's not it. I love you, all of you...I always did. But do you really think I can believe you, you, will be monogamous, or that you'll drink only from me? Do you think I want to be dragged into a political war where everyone looks down on me, or worse despises me?"

Eric hated that Sookie was shaking now. He brushed her tears away with the back of his hand. "I am old enough to know that when something as special as this comes along a feed and a fuck are meaningless. Not to mention, I will NEVER hurt you like that. I am not Bill, Sookie. I swear on my undead life, I will never cheat on you. I will respect you, honour you. I can protect you and I want to take care of you."

Sookie felt like everything around her was spinning out of control. It was just too much; she just couldn't grasp it. He loved her? How could she believe that? She had been hurt too much. She knew without question that if Eric ever did anything close to what Bill had done it would kill her.

"Please, Eric," she begged between sobs, "Can't we talk about this tomorrow?"

Eric pulled her to him in a hug. Her head was pressed to his chest and his hand stroked her hair as he held her close.

"You're so tired, dearest. Of course, I will give you some time. When may I come tomorrow?" He asked in a gentle whisper.

"I'm not working tomorrow. I'll come to Fangtasia," she offered.

"Very well, my love." He carried her to her bed and placed her under the covers. Kissing her forehead he murmured, "I look forward to tomorrow, rest," Sookie was asleep in seconds and he locked the house behind him.