Disclaimer: Bioware owns all, except what I most humbly create. While, at times, I will take verbatim from the game, I mostly use the events of the Dragon Age games, expansions and universe as a loose structure around which to construct my re-imagined tale. If you are looking for a strict canon piece, I have no desire to offend, and so I warn you upfront!
When reading this tale, I hope you can easily imagine it being told by the very best of storytellers in Varric (from DA:2). In my version of events, Varric meets "The Hero" (my Elissa Cousland) in Kirkwall during the time period of DA:2. I mention this only so that readers can understand his connection along the way, and so I don't have to mention and rehash it again and again as I make my way through the tale.
Thanks again to my My Lady Beta, artemiskat! Couldn't have done it without you :)
Drew inspiration for this chapter from Breathe Into Me by Red.
Happy Reading!
-Frayed One
Chapter Two: Ashes to Ashes
When the Teyrn called Elissa to the throne room, she fully expected to be asked to accompany him and her brother into battle. She had been rather confused when she had not been asked to make preparations along with the other soldiers already. After all, with years of strict training under her belt, she was as formidable in a fight as Fergus was.
She bustled into the room to speak with him, and was unpleasantly surprised to find herself in the company of Arl Howe. She had managed to avoid him with one excuse or another since her debacle of a relationship with Nathaniel had ended, and so she was certain the forced smile she plastered on her face in his presence wasn't fooling anyone.
"You remember my youngest I'm sure," the Teyrn said, smiling happily at her.
"Indeed, I see she's become a lovely young woman." the Arl replied, his eyes lingering longer than they should have on the bare skin exposed at her throat and legs by the cut of her armor. "Nice to see you again, my dear."
"Is your family here, Arl Howe?" Elissa asked, and though she knew better than to think Nathaniel would be present, she hoped perhaps Delilah had chosen to accompany him.
"Oh no, I left them in Amaranthine. They should be far away from the fighting in the South." the Arl chuckled, though the laughter did not reach his eyes. "Except for Nathaniel of course, he is still in the Free Marches, though I'm sure you are aware of that. Thomas does ask about you though, perhaps I should bring him with me next time I come…"
"And what could you possibly hope to accomplish by doing that?" she snapped quickly, her eyes narrowing at the Arl as she remembered Thomas' assertions that she had been promised to him by the very man who now stood in front of her.
"So glib too… she's just like her mother when she talks like that." Arl Howe chuckled coldly, covering the malice in his eyes with a simpering smile directed at the Teyrn.
"There's no telling my fierce girl anything these days," her father sighed, shaking his head lightly, trying to ease the tension between the two. "Maker bless her heart."
"Quite the firebrand, I'm certain." Howe said, pensively. "One to watch…"
"Was I brought here for a reason?" Elissa asked, turning to her father and trying to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, as the Arl looked her over again.
"Since your brother is leading our forces south and I'm going with the Arl, I'm leaving you in charge of the castle." the Teyrn said, smiling at her affectionately as though she would be pleased with the news.
"What?" she spat incredulously. "I'm being left behind? Why can't I go into battle with you and Fergus?"
"I'm certain you would more than prove yourself in battle, my darling, but I'm simply not willing to deal with your mother should you go off to war," the Teyrn insisted, shifting his feet restlessly under his daughter's furious eyes. "She's already twisted into knots about Fergus and me going, she'd kill me if I let you accompany us."
"That's not fair! I'm at least as skilled as Fergus and I actually want to go!" Elissa insisted, not willing to simply let the issue die. "Let Fergus stay here and assuage her fears…"
"You'll have your chance, my darling, and sooner than I'd like in all likelihood," the Teyrn replied, sighing deeply in frustration. "This is no needless task I ask of you; it is a great responsibility that I entrust to your hands. When your brother and I go, only a token force will remain here and you must use them and your wits to keep peace in the region while I am gone."
Elissa grimaced at the thought of being doomed to courtly responsibilities while her father and brother were off adventuring, but was quickly distracted from her need to argue when another man, whom she did not recognize, entered the room.
"And there is also Duncan to attend to," the Teyrn explained, relief clearly evident in his features as the new arrival had distracted his daughter from her current focus.
"It is an honor to be a guest within your hall, Teyrn Cousland." Duncan said, with a slow bow.
His appearance left little question that he was a warrior. Battle hardened features were hard to miss particularly under the eyes of someone, like Elissa, who wanted so desperately to join in the war effort.
His armor was like nothing she had ever seen before, and she puzzled over the intricate patterns of it, trying to place him within his proper rank, as the other men discussed his arrival.
"Your lordship, you didn't mention that a Grey Warden would be present." Arl Howe sneered, barely able to conceal the disdain in his words.
"Duncan only recently arrived; and unannounced," the Teyrn explained, eyeing the Arl in confusion as he offered a jovial handshake to The Warden. "Is there a problem?"
"Certainly not, but a guest of this stature demands certain… protocol," the Arl explained, blanching under the other men's inquisitive stares. "I am at a disadvantage."
"It's true, we rarely have the pleasure of seeing one in person." the Teyrn laughed, turning his attention once again to his daughter and seeing the curiosity in her eyes. "Brother Aldus explained the Wardens to you I hope?"
"Of course!" Elissa gasped, barely able to contain her excitement at being this close to a legend. "They're an order of great warriors."
"They are indeed the very heroes who saved us from the Blight," the Teyrn replied, smiling at her childlike fascination. It was good to see the fire she'd had since birth burning in her eyes again, especially when it had so nearly been doused completely a few short months ago. "Duncan is here recruiting before joining us and his fellow Wardens in the south. I believe he has his eye on our Ser Gilmore."
"Rory!" Elissa chirped, thrilled that her childhood friend was being offered such an amazing opportunity. "He will be perfect! And he will be thrilled!"
"If I might be so bold." Duncan spoke up, holding Elissa's eyes for a moment before turning his attention back to her father "I would also suggest that your daughter is an excellent candidate."
She felt her pulse speed at the idea that an order so mythical would want to count her among their ranks.
"An honor though that may be, this is my daughter we are talking about," the Teyrn said, and she could feel her hopes shattering once again.
"Is there a reason I shouldn't join them?" Elissa asked, her temper rising as it seemed her father was intent on cutting her off no matter what direction she sought escape. "It seems to me that I could only honor myself and our family by being counted among such a prestigious rank."
"You did just finish saying that the Grey Wardens are heroes, old friend." Arl Howe interjected; causing Elissa to toss a confused glance in his direction as though he was the last person she ever expected to offer her support.
"I have not so many children that I would readily send them all off to war," the Teyrn concluded, turning back to Duncan, "unless you intend to invoke the Right of Conscription…"
Do it! Please do it! Elissa thought, offering silent prayers to the Maker that this mysterious man, this Warden, would offer her passage out of this world she'd been trapped in for so long.
"No, definitely not." Duncan relented, raising his hands in mock surrender. "While we need as many good recruits as possible, I have no intentions of pressing the issue."
Elissa felt her hopes crumbling at her feet. She was indeed destined for a life spent within castle walls monitoring the daily activities of others, the very life she had fought so hard for so long to avoid.
Despair threatened to take her again, and she lost herself to it for a moment before her father's hand at her elbow brought her back into focus.
"Can you see to Duncan's needs while we are gone?" he asked, smiling to hide his concern as he had no doubt seen the darkness that had returned to her eyes.
"Don't strain my abilities or anything." Elissa groused in return, crossing her arms in frustration.
"And don't strain my patience!" the Teyrn snapped, shaking his head to calm his temper. "Now, be a good lass and go to find your brother for me. Relay my instructions that he is to lead the troops to Ostagar ahead of me."
"As you wish, my lord," she hissed, offering a mocking curtsey before disappearing out the door and stomping in frustration down the long hallway.
Elissa cursed under her breath, barely taking notice of anything around her as she barreled through the halls in search of her brother. She clipped a corner as she turned too quickly and would likely have fallen to the floor had she not been caught in the strong arms of the young knight who stood chuckling lightly in front of her.
"I'm not sure whether to thank you for making it so easy to find you, or chastise you for almost trampling me in the process." Rory laughed, squeezing her shoulders lightly before moving back to create an appropriate distance between them.
"I'm sorry, Rory." Elissa replied, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and… stumbled a bit somewhere along the line – you know how clumsy my feet can be when I'm angry."
"Better than I'd like to at times." he chuckled, smiling his infectious smile. "I've been looking for you for awhile, but your mother told me the Teyrn had summoned you. I didn't want to interrupt."
"Good thing you didn't, considering the company he's keeping…" she complained, crossing her arms over her chest and fighting off a shiver as she thought about the Arl's earlier inspection of her.
"Yeah… I saw the Arl's men arriving…" Rory acknowledged, shuffling uncomfortably.
He knew Elissa did not care for the man, and though he did not blame her, particularly in light of her past with the Arl's eldest son, protocol dictated that he treat the man with the respect his station deserved; and so he simply avoided the subject.
"I fear your hound has the kitchens in an uproar, again," he said, changing subjects quickly before things got more uncomfortable. "Nan is threatening to leave."
"Nan is just blowing off steam." Elissa laughed, blowing out a long puff of air and rolling her eyes. "She's always like that."
Fergus had given her the mabari as a pup a few weeks after Nathaniel had been shipped out of their lives. He had bonded to her instantly, and the two had been inseparable ever since, well, except for when he caused trouble in Nan's kitchens.
"Your mother disagrees." Rory replied, though he chuckled in response to her petulance. "She's insisting you collect him immediately. He only listens to you, anyone else risks having an arm bitten off."
"He knows better than to hurt anyone, especially you," she assured him, smiling softly when she thought of the fondness the animal had instantly developed for her friend.
"I'm not willing to test that!" he laughed, holding up his hands. "You're quite lucky to have your own warhound, you know. Smart enough not to talk, my father used to say. Of course, that means he's easily bored. Nan swears he confounds her just to amuse himself. At any rate, your mother insisted I accompany you until the matter is settled…"
"Follow me about pestering me until I follow her orders is more like it." Elissa complained, sighing heavily – but turning toward the kitchens anyway. "Well… you coming?"
"Just follow the yelling." Rory laughed, falling into pace beside her. "When Nan's unhappy she makes sure everyone knows it."
"Indeed she does…" she chuckled in response, before getting serious again. "Hey, I meant to ask you, why aren't you marching with our men?"
"Anxious to get rid of me?" he replied, raising an eyebrow to glance at her as she started to reply before realizing he was joking. "I would be, were it my choice. Your Father decided I should remain with the complement of guards at the castle. I had hoped it's because this Grey Warden wishes to meet with me."
"Do you know much about the Grey Wardens?" Elissa inquired; her curiosity peaked as the legendary heroes were mentioned again.
"Only what everyone hears." Rory replied, shrugging his shoulders. "I never expected to actually see one, so few are here in Ferelden."
"So what happens if you are recruited? Do they ship you off elsewhere?" she asked, staring off into nothing as she pondered all the wonderful foreign lands the two of them might see together should they both happen to catch the Warden's fancy.
"I only know that once you become a Grey Warden, your old life is over," he said, his face growing serious as though to impress upon her this was not necessarily one of the grand tales she'd been so fond of as a child. "There is no going back."
"Sometimes that doesn't seem like such a bad thing…" Elissa mused, more to herself than to anyone else.
"Sam, I know he…" Rory started, coming to a standstill in the hall and trying to catch her eyes.
They had never spoken of what ultimately transpired between her and Nathaniel, though she was certain he had gotten more than enough details from Fergus' angry ranting.
Rory had offered his shoulder to her in her darkest hour, in whatever capacity she had desired it, as he always had, and she had been grateful for it. It had been nice to have one person who did not ask her how she was every five minutes, who did not reassure her that everything would be okay and insist she would learn to forget the young man whom she had loved with all her heart.
She had no intention of changing that arrangement now, and stopped his words with a wave of her hand, putting them back into motion toward the kitchens.
"Do you think the Wardens are really as skilled as the legends say?" she queried, linking her hands behind her back thoughtfully.
"I hear they only recruit the most skilled fighters and tacticians they can find," he replied, mimicking her posture. "It would be disappointing to find out that wasn't true."
"Have you ever seen darkspawn?" Elissa asked, meeting his eyes.
"Never." Rory answered, shaking his head. "You hear about them attacking homesteads and travellers but… I thought that was just a story they told children to keep them in bed at night."
Elissa nodded thoughtfully, remembering that hearing tales of darkspawn had only made her curious, not afraid - something that seemed, in retrospect, abnormal.
"What if the Grey Warden tries to recruit you?" he asked, cautiously. "Have you thought about it?"
"I wish he would recruit me," she laughed, smiling at him.
"I knew you'd say that." Rory laughed in response, clapping her shoulder companionably. "Though I imagine even the Grey Wardens would be unlikely to risk your Father's wrath should they attempt to steal his only daughter out from under him."
"Duncan already broached the subject." Elissa admitted, shaking her head. "It went about as well as you'd imagine."
"I take great pride in serving your father," he continued; worry lines creasing his forehead momentarily. "Still, if I had the opportunity to join the Grey Wardens, I wouldn't hesitate."
"Nor would I." she said, squeezing his arm lightly. "It would be odd not to have you here…"
"It would be odd not to be here, I imagine." Rory replied, reaching over to cover her hand with his own and squeezing it in response. "But serving the Wardens is the highest service one can render."
They moved on in companionable silence until they reached a point where they could hear Nan screeching at the kitchen staff to do something about the dog. Elissa grimaced at Rory, before taking a deep breath and moving into the kitchen to face Nan's wrath.
"You! And you!" Nan yelled, pointing first to Rory and then to Elissa "Your bloody mongrel keeps getting into my larder! That beast should be put down!"
"He's not a mongrel! He's a pure-blood mabari!" Elissa yelled in response, glaring angrily at Rory and rubbing at her arm where he elbowed her in response to her snarky words.
"A blight wolf is what he is!" Nan insisted, her fury rising as she paced in front of the door. "How am I supposed to work like this? That's it! I quit! Inform the Teyrna. I'll go cook at some nice estate in the Bannorn."
"Nan, please." Rory pleaded, glaring angrily at Elissa who only rolled her eyes in response to the woman's dramatic threats. "We'll get the dog. Calm down!"
"Just get him gone!" Nan growled, pointing at the door and stepping out of their way. "I've enough to worry about with a castle full of hungry soldiers."
The pair stepped past her and into the larder, eyes widening as they saw the bags of flour and various other cooking supplies that had been torn open and strewn about the room.
"Look at that mess…" Rory moaned, shaking his head. "How did he even get in here?"
"What a smart boy you are, Gladius!" Elissa insisted, kneeling down to scratch the hound heartily around his ears. "Oh, yes, yes you are!"
"Oh, encourage the hound, why don't you!" Rory grumbled, huffing loudly. "No wonder he keeps giving Nan fits! Though… he does seem like he's trying to tell us something… I wonder wha…"
"Shh… do you hear that?" Elissa asked, reaching for her daggers just in time to swat away the first of the swarm of giant rats that suddenly began pouring from every direction.
Between Rory, herself, and her hound the rat threat was quickly ended – leaving the larder in an even worse state now that multiple bloody rat corpses now littered the floor on top of the mess Gladius had already managed to make.
"Giant rats?" Rory quipped, incredulously, sheathing his broadsword. "It's like the start of every bad adventure tale my grandfather used to tell. Gladius must have chased them in through their holes. Looks like he wasn't raiding the larder after all."
"It certainly looks that way." Elissa admitted, scratching at Gladius' broad head before wiping away the blood on her daggers with a nearby rag and anchoring them back at her shoulders. "For something so tiny they sure can bleed… a lot…"
"They had to be from the Korcari Wilds." Rory insisted, leaning down to inspect one before tossing it into the empty linen sack that Elissa had procured for corpse removal. "Best not to tell Nan. She's upset enough as it is."
Elissa nodded, helping to collect the remaining corpses and kicking most of the spilled flour over on top of the blood to help with absorption, finally depositing the bag in a barrel meant for disposal just outside the door.
"Well, seeing as how you've now got your mabari well in hand, I'll be on my way." Rory said, smiling at her. "I'm to prepare for the arrival of more of the Arl's men."
"Have fun with that." Elissa replied, grimacing at the thought as she watched him nod to Nan and move out of the kitchens and back to his duties.
"There he is, brazen as you please." Nan griped, looking the hound over as Elissa wiped at some blood that still stained her chest piece. "Licking his chops after helping himself to the roast, no doubt."
"Actually, he was defending your larder from rats, big ones." Elissa snapped, making a vague gesture with her hands to indicate size before scratching at Gladius' head again. "You should be thanking him, not yelling at him."
"Well, I expect those filthy things are dead then?" Nan snapped, refusing to back down.
"My faithful warhound has made sure it's safe, dear lady." Elissa replied, with an exaggerated and obviously sarcastic bow.
"Hmph!" Nan continued, crossing her arms and glaring at her and then the dog. "I bet that dog led those rats in there to begin with."
Gladius whined in response, hanging his head in shame.
"Oh, don't even start with the sad eyes!" Nan admonished, wagging a finger at him. "I'm immune to your so-called charms!"
He whined again, slinking back behind Elissa's legs.
"Here then." Nan sighed, uncrossing her arms and reaching for a couple of bits of something on the table beside her. "Take these pork bits, and don't say that Nan never gives you anything. Bloody dog…"
"You're welcome…" Elissa murmured, walking out the door with Gladius trailing behind her, listening to Nan's continued ranting fading into the distance behind them.
She shook her head again, looking down to realize that she and the hound were still covered in blood and rat parts, and shrugging when she realized she could do nothing about it as she had already delayed her father's instructions long enough.
Turning the corner toward the family rooms, Elissa found herself stumbling into her mother's circle of visitors, which was the last place she wanted to be.
Bloody hell… she thought, noticing that not only was her mother with one of the noble ladies, but she had apparently brought along her son – likely in the hopes of pressuring Elissa, once again, to match herself with him.
"Ah, here is my lovely daughter," the Teyrna said, covering her disapproving assessment of her daughter's state of dress with a smile. "I take it by the presence of that troublesome hound and all this… is that blood… ugh… really? I take it the situation in the kitchens has been handled?"
"Nan's head exploded and Gladius ate the kitchen staff." Elissa responded snarkily, mirroring an equally false smile back at her mother. "Forgive me if I didn't have a chance to clean their bits off me."
"Well, at least one of us will have had a decent dinner," the Teyrna offered, glaring at her for a moment. "Perhaps your hound has seen fit to leave something I can feed to my guests… you remember Lady Landra, Bann Loren's wife?"
"I think we last met at your mother's spring salon." Lady Landra offered, barely concealing her disgust as she looked over Elissa's dishevelled appearance.
"Yes, as I recall you were quite drunk." Elissa replied, crossing her arms and leaning back on one leg slightly, meeting the woman's eyes in challenge.
"I am so proud of my pup's mastery of tact and diplomacy." the Teyrna sighed, rolling her eyes in exasperation.
"Well, it was a lovely salon, from what I remember…" the lady admitted, twittering laughter nervously and backing down from Elissa's glare.
"Which wouldn't be much, I'd imagine, considering we had to pour you into the carriage afterwards…" her son offered in defence, turning his smile toward Elissa as though she should appreciate his intervention.
"You remember my son, Dairren," Lady Landra said, patting her son's arm with pride. "He's not married either."
"Don't listen to her." Dairren said, rolling his eyes and reaching to take Elissa's hand and, once he assured himself there was no blood, laying a light kiss on the knuckles. "It's good to see you again, my lady. You're looking as beautiful as ever."
"Ugh… go soak your head." Elissa mumbled, just barely under her breath, honestly not caring whether anyone heard the comment.
She remembered Dairren quite well. He'd stopped his adamant pursuit of her attentions briefly, after Nathaniel had been announced as her escort at her sixteenth birthday celebration years ago, but had picked it back up with renewed vigor upon hearing their relationship had come to an end; and now she couldn't seem to make it clear enough how uninterested she was in him, or any man for that matter.
"I beg your pardon?" he asked, leaning closer for clarification.
"Very nice to see you," she smiled, cursing tersely under her breath and removing her hand from his as tactfully as possible.
"Her diplomatic skills will earn her a post in Orlais, just you wait" the Teyrna insisted, laughing uncomfortably to cover her social faux pas.
"This is my lady-in-waiting, Iona." Lady Landra continued, bringing Elissa's attention for the first time to the lovely elven girl standing at her side. "Do say something dear."
"It is a great pleasure, my lady." Iona said, blushing lightly when Elissa met her eyes; reading something in them that peaked her curiosity. "You are as beautiful as your mother describes."
"You would think that would make it easier to make a match for her, not more difficult," the Teyrna grumbled, ignoring the knowing smile Elissa offered to the elf that made her blush deepen further the way she had ignored the tendency her only daughter had shown toward female companions following her break up with the Arl's son.
"Perhaps your daughter simply has a mind of her own, your ladyship." Dairren offered, continuing to defend her choices as though he was accumulating points. "You should be proud."
"Proud doesn't get me any more grandchildren…" the Teyrna began.
"I can handle my own affairs, mother." Elissa snapped, pulling her eyes away from the girl and glaring at her mother. "You only cause yourself distress when you try to force yourself into them in this way."
"Yes, you've certainly done a fantastic job of handling them thus far…" the Teyrna started, and Elissa began to argue ferociously enough that Lady Landra excused herself to rest for dinner, while Dairren and Iona made a quick escape to the study.
They argued a few moments longer before Elissa finally gave up and hung her head in exasperation. Though she knew that her mother loved her, she also knew that she would never be the daughter she truly wanted her to be.
"You should go say goodbye to Fergus while you have the chance," her mother offered in concession.
"Did you know there's a Grey Warden here?" Elissa asked, staring back down the hall in the direction of the throne room, choosing to ignore her mother's directive and press her agenda again instead.
"Yes, your father mentioned that," the Teyrna admitted, her eyes narrowing in response to her daughter's query. "You haven't gotten it into your head that you want to be recruited?"
"The darkspawn have returned, mother." Elissa said in answer, turning back to face her fully. "Wardens are needed."
"And you are needed here. There is plenty to occupy your time," her mother insisted, waving off her statement easily. "I don't need you off chasing danger like your brother."
"Why can't I go with Father and Fergus?" she asked, frustrated further by her mother's casual dismissal of her wishes.
"I know it's difficult to stay in the castle and watch others ride off," the Teyrna sighed, knowing how much her daughter hated this part of her life, "but we must see to our duties first; you understand that, don't you?"
"I could make a difference out there, here I'm just wasting my time and my talents." Elissa insisted, knowing she was right whether her mother chose to acknowledge the fact or not.
"You can make a difference here!" her mother insisted, getting angry again. "Trust me, you'll have your chance for excitement soon enough."
"I have a bad feeling about this, mother." Elissa admitted as she abandoned the topic for a second time, her brow furrowed in concentration as her thoughts drifted once again to the Arl. "I can't really explain it… something just feels… wrong."
"Your father and brother are marching off to fight Maker-knows-what and all the assurances in the world won't comfort me," the Teyrna agreed, and Elissa felt slightly comforted though she still didn't see the threat her daughter saw in Rendon Howe. "Everything feels wrong. But it wouldn't help for us to take up arms and follow. Fergus and your father have their duty, and we have ours."
"Yes, yes… standing about in pretty frocks and worrying our pretty heads until they return…" Elissa grumbled, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but where she stood in that moment "Have you seen Fergus?"
"If he's not with his men, probably upstairs with Oriana…" her mother replied, trying to delve back into their conversation before Elissa could flee from it.
"I should go…" she said, already starting to walk away.
"I love you, my darling girl," the Teyrna said, reaching out to catch her hand before she could fully disappear. "You know that, don't you?"
"I'm hardly a girl any longer." Elissa sighed, squeezing her hand slightly.
"Indeed. I turned around for a moment and you've grown into a fine woman in your own right. But that doesn't mean I have to like it," her mother continued, her eyes growing sad for a moment "I saw you broken once, to see that kind of pain and to know there is nothing you can do to repair it… is an awful thing. I know none of this has turned out how you wanted, but you should know your father and I only want what's best for you. Now go, do what you must, I will see you soon."
Teyrna Eleanor Cousland watched her daughter's hasty retreat into the back recesses of the castle, wishing that she hadn't seen the sadness creeping back into her eyes at the mention of her lost love.
"Oh, my darling, will you ever recover?" she pondered, shaking her head before moving toward the throne room to collect her husband.
Elissa found her foul mood lifting quickly in the presence of her brother and his family. There had been many days when their easy acceptance of her presence in their lives was the only thing that pulled her through. Today was no exception.
As she approached the outside of the large family quarters they shared, she could hear Oren begging his father to return with a "sward" from his travels, and though Oriana admonished Fergus for instilling such things in their very young son's impressionable mind, Elissa knew she did not care whether her brother returned with an entire armory for the boy; so long as he returned.
"And here's my little sister to see me off" Fergus laughed, his smile broadening as she walked through the door.
"Should I wait outside?" Elissa asked jokingly, watching Fergus wrap his wife in a warm embrace and kiss her thoroughly.
"Stay, I'd like to say farewell." Fergus replied, stepping away from Oriana for a moment. "After all, we don't know how long it shall be before we see each other again, I should get in all the brotherly torment I can manage else I don't know how I shall sustain myself while I am away."
"Did you know there was a Grey Warden in the castle?" Elissa asked, pushing her way out of the headlock Fergus was trying to force her into.
"Really?" Oren quipped, jumping from foot to foot in excitement. "Was he riding a griffon?"
"Unfortunately not." Elissa replied with a laugh. "Griffons are only in tales now, even the Wardens must find more menial ways of transportation."
"I'd heard there was a Warden about!" Fergus answered, patting Oren on the head before turning back to his sister. "Did he say why he'd come?"
"He's recruiting..." Elissa smiled, a fire coming into her eyes that Fergus had not seen in a long time.
"Oh?" Fergus smiled, thrilled to see that something had peaked his sister's interest again and hoping that it would finally move her past the last remnants debris that remained from her failed relationship with the Arl's son. "If I were a Grey Warden, little sister, I'd have my eye on you… not that Father would ever allow it."
"Yes, both Mother and Father have already as much as quashed that idea for me…" Elissa muttered, frowning heavily and kicking lightly at the floor with the worn toe of her boot. "I wish I could go with you."
"I wish you could come!" Fergus replied, completely sincere. He would miss her, and would worry for her mood in his absence. Her recovery from Nathaniel's brutal destruction was still incomplete and there were days the darkness of it nearly retook her. "It'll be tiring killing all those darkspawn by myself!"
"You'll be missed, brother." Elissa said, her voice softening as the tears threatened to come.
"If it's any consolation, I'm sure I'll freeze in the southern rain and be completely jealous of you up here all warm and safe." Fergus laughed, reaching over to squeeze her shoulder in an attempt to keep the mood light.
"Yes, your projected misery makes all the worry and envy just drop right away, whatever would I do without your wisdom, dear brother?" Elissa laughed, rolling her eyes. "At any rate, I bring a message. Father wants you to leave without him. The Arl's men are delayed."
"Again!" Fergus groused, his brow creasing in frustration as he shared a worried glare with his sister – something did not seem right. "You'd think his men were walking backward!"
"Travel with caution, Fergus." Elissa whispered, leaning in close and wrapping him in a hug to hide her words from his wife and son rather than provide needless worry. "Something about this does not sit right with me, it leaves me disquiet and I do not know why."
He pulled away, his eyes questioning her own, but couldn't get the words out before the Teyrn and Teyrna entered the room to say their own goodbyes.
"I would hope, dear boy, that you planned to wait for us before taking your leave?" the Teyrn jested, walking up to take each of his children by their shoulders.
"Be well, my son." the Teyrna said, wiping a lone tear from her eye. "I will pray for your safety every day you are gone."
"A good shield would be better…" Elissa grumbled under her breath, but Fergus caught it and burst into laughter, resulting in a light smack to the head for each of them from their mother.
The conversation quickly devolved into a good-natured fistfight between Elissa and her brother mixed with inappropriate remarks about wenches and ale. The Teyrna and Oriana both pretended to be put out; but the love in their eyes was easy to read. This was home for all of them, and they each worried that it would be the last time they would all stand together in this way.
"Enough, enough…" the Teyrn said, finally winding the festivities down. "Pup, you'll want to get an early night, you'll have much to do tomorrow."
Elissa sighed heavily, but knew he was right. She promised Oren to tell him a new dragon tale the following evening, whispering quiet promises of sword-fights and griffons even as she tossed a conspiring wink to her brother. Before she left, she pulled her father to the side; making one final attempt at pushing for her own wishes of not being left behind.
"About this Grey Warden…. Duncan…" she said, leaning in to try and keep her mother out of this round of the looping conversation.
"Ah, I was wondering how long this would take," her father sighed, rubbing at his brow a bit in frustration. "Has he asked to recruit you?"
"And if he did?" Elissa inquired, opting not to just tell him no.
"If he did, then I would have to consider it," he replied, his eyes taking on a sad quality that had not been there a moment ago. "If a Blight is truly upon us in the south, the Wardens will be needed. There is no higher calling. If it comes to that, we can talk about it when I get back. Until then, show Duncan every courtesy. He is a fine man, and a hero."
"Are you sure you'll be alright?" she asked, finally giving up on her push and turning back to the unsettling feeling she'd been fighting ever since she walked into the throne room to see Arl Howe standing there.
"Your brother and I go into battle, not an afternoon tea. Who knows what will happen to us?" the Teyrn replied honestly. "I will tell you, however, you are my darling daughter. I love you and I trust you completely to carry on the Cousland name if the worst should happen."
"Is sending all of our forces south such a good idea?" she continued, wanting her Father to admit he felt at least some of the trepidation she did at leaving them completely unguarded. "Surely we could spare more than the skeleton crew remaining, that would still provide a more than adequate amount of soldiers for the war effort. I could send word to Cailan; I am certain if I spoke with him he would allow us a few more left behind."
"When the king demands your full force, you send them, Elissa," her Father admonished. "Not sending them would be a distinctly bad idea, as would pulling Cailan's strings again just to prove you still can. If you wanted to be the woman behind the throne, you could have easily taken that position long ago, but you made different choices so now you must leave Cailan to Anora."
"Yes, Father." Elissa sighed, petulantly; it wasn't that she had any desire to make a match with Cailan, nor had she ever, she simply did not like Anora and jumped at the chance to illustrate just how easily she could influence Cailan even now.
"Don't worry yourself" her father assured, reaching over to pat her arm. "You shouldn't have any problems, but you should prepare yourself just in case."
"In case of what?" Elissa asked, thinking he had finally felt the same concerns she could not fully voice.
"Legends of the Blights tell of horrible things," her father admitted, his eyes darkening a bit at the thought. "The darkspawn once threatened many lands. If we can't hold them… you must prepare for the worst."
"That is precisely why I should be going with you!" Elissa insisted, arguing once again against being left behind. "It is ridiculous for me to be left here doing nothing when I could be contributing to the efforts to contain them."
"Stubborn as always," her father laughed, shaking his head. "I understand why you want to go so badly, my darling, but what you see as a reason why you must go – I see as the very reason you must stay behind. I know that you will do me proud. You've grown into a strong, sensible woman, that much is clear. I know that nothing in your life has turned out how you wanted it to, but perhaps you can consider the idea that this may be exactly what you were meant to do. To protect your family, to protect your home, to contribute to the greater good by remaining behind and running the Teyrnir."
"It just doesn't feel like this is all I'm meant to do…" Elissa said, her voice falling as her hopes died once again.
"And perhaps it's not, pup, but let us leave that discussion for another time," her father insisted, turning her in the direction of bed, and accepting the half hug she offered in response before striding out toward her own room.
"Oi!" Fergus yelled, catching her just outside his door as she moved off to her own quarters. "Aren't you too old to be getting sent to bed early?"
"Probably," she shrugged, looking at him cryptically .
"You're not pitching nearly enough of a fit… wait... you've got someone waiting for you, haven't you?" Fergus laughed, turning in a half circle and patting the wall as she shushed him. "You saucy minx! It's that elven lass that arrived with Lady Landra, isn't it? Don't try to tell me it's not, I know what direction your tastes have leaned since…"
"Don't say it…." Elissa hissed, slapping his arm hard enough to make him wince in pain. "And yes, Iona is likely waiting for me already if she hasn't been scared away by all the noise. We discussed our mutual... appreciation... in the study this afternoon."
"You know, all the work you did keeping me from going after Nathaniel is likely to be undone once Mother figures out he forced you to swear off men completely!" Fergus insisted, nearly consumed in laughter again.
"I haven't sworn off them, I simply haven't found any I'm interested in." Elissa replied, glancing back quickly to make sure her brother's laughter hadn't alerted anyone else to their conversation. "And I don't see what business it is of yours either way, ugh, go spend time with your family and leave me be."
She turned and ambled off to her room, leaving Fergus laughing riotously behind her.
