Pain and darkness surrounded Kakashi as he writhed helplessly in the void of Sasuke's illusion. In one breath of an instant, everything had been swept away from him. Although he knew this was an elaborate hallucination, it was as if he were truly suspended in mid air deprived of all sight, sound, scent, or taste. The only sensation he was allowed to experience in this unyielding living death was constant almost unendurable full body neuralgia. A lesser man would have been crushed immediately by such a formidable attack, but not Kakashi. Not only was he too talented to be taken out like this, he also had an overwhelming incentive to stay alive.

"Kakashi, please come back to me!"

Iruka! For reasons completely unknown to him, Iruka's voice was the only sound that could penetrate the hell in which he had been trapped. He'd always been fond of his lover's voice, but now he craved it even more since it was his only lifeline. Keep talking to me! He thought desperately. Keep giving me a reason to fight against this!

"I miss you so much," Iruka continued. Although he was chuckling weakly, Kakashi sensed that he was crying. "I miss the trail of dirty clothes you left every time you came home, and your empty ramen cups that never made it to the garbage. I miss the way you mangled the toothpaste tube instead of squeezing it from the bottom like a normal person. I miss the wet towels you left lying all over the bathroom floor, and I even miss the way you would always embarrass me in front of everyone."

Overcome with emotion, Iruka paused. During his one-sided conversation, Kakashi felt as if he were being drawn by the intensity his lover's voice. Although it was excruciatingly painful, he fought desperately to stay within the invisible current that he hoped would liberate him from Sasuke's relentless prison. Don't stop now Iruka, not when I'm so close!

Weeping intensely now, Iruka struggled to continue. "I miss the way you would always hug and pester me when I washed the dishes. I miss your good morning kisses, and the way you would always distract me every time I was trying to grade papers. I miss the way you made love to me, and the way you held me every night as I drifted off to sleep."

The agony was so oppressive it almost made Kakashi long for death, but he clung fiercely to his lover's voice as it drew him closer to salvation.

"Kakashi," Iruka mumbled in exhaustion. "I'm sorry….If you leave me…I don't know how I could continue living without you. My life would have no meaning…but as long as your heart keeps beating…I promise…to persevere. "

In one last violent paroxysm of pain, Kakashi finally reached consciousness, as Iruka drifted off to sleep. His right eye fluttered open. After the overwhelming darkness of Sasuke's illusion, the dim moonlight illuminating the room made him squint uncomfortably. The abrupt return of his senses assaulted Kakashi at once. Footsteps in the hall, the clock ticking on the wall, and the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, everything he had always taken for granted now sounded so wonderful. However, the best by far was the sound of his lover softly breathing in his ear.

Through the dull ache that permeated a body, which had been immobile for far too long, Kakashi could feel Iruka snuggled up against him. He raised his hand to touch his lover's face, but decided against it. He looks so exhausted, Kakashi noted with concern. It looks like he hasn't had a decent night's sleep in weeks, and it seems as if he's lost a lot of weight as well. Damn it! How long have I been unconscious? How long has Iruka been made to suffer? Kakashi carefully wrapped his fingers around the hand that rested lightly on his chest and spent the night watching his lover's sleeping face.


Kakashi and Iruka walked through the golden shafts of sunlight which were scattered haphazardly through the forest. Neither one said a word. They were both content to have this moment alone together. Although they were less than a kilometer away from the village, it felt as if they were in a world all their own. Kakashi took Iruka by the hand and pulled him closer. Gazing into his lover's eye, Iruka pulled his mask down revealing his sensuous lips. Strong arms wrapped around him as their lips united in a long, fervent kiss…

Sunlight shining through the window pulled Iruka unwillingly from his dream. Lying with his eyes still closed, he clung desperately to that last image. It had seemed so real. He could still feel Kakashi's fingers entwined with his. Perhaps I'm still dreaming he thought sleepily as he gave the fingers a gentle squeeze. A large, warm hand squeezed back in response. Iruka's eyes shot open in surprise. His lover, who had been completely unresponsive for the past four months, was now looking at him with an amused smile on his breathtakingly handsome face.

"Ah…am I…still dreaming," Iruka stammered unable to fathom the sight before his eyes.

"You seem to be awake now." Although his voice sounded rough from months of inactivity, it was the most beautiful sound Iruka had ever heard. He kissed Kakashi passionately in response with tears of joy cascading down his cheeks. If I live forever, I'll never have a happier moment than this! That was the basic sentiment of what Iruka was thinking if he were able to put his emotions into words. However, being kissed by Kakashi like that was enough to leave him completely devoid of thought.

Pulling away suddenly Iruka exclaimed, "I need to let Tsunade and Sakura know what's happened!" He attempted to get up, but Kakashi refused to let him go.

"Tell them later," he whispered ardently before capturing Iruka's lips with another searing kiss.

Sighing blissfully, Iruka melted into Kakashi's embrace. All of the sleepless nights, and the unbearably empty days were finally over. After four long months of languishing in agony, Kakashi had returned, just as Iruka had steadfastly hoped he would.