Once the Avengers had explained to Steve what Tony's jumper meant (with the added bonus of Steve being scarred for life, of course), they went to find Clint the fairy.
They couldn't find him.
They looked in all his favourite hiding places; the roof, the air vents (long story), on top of the Christmas tree again, and all around Tony's skyscraper. The archer/fairy was nowhere to be found. Tony turned to Thor.
"Well, big guy, maybe you should fly up in your sleigh and see if you can see our beloved fairy from the sky. I can't be bothered to get into my suit so..." Thor frowned, even though it was obvious to the rest why Tony would ask him to get into his sleigh. For Thor, bless him, was in a Santa outfit, with all the accessories he could find decorating his bulk. The Avengers had explained the whole Father Christmas thing to Thor, but it took him a moment before he burst out with his signature booming laugh.
"Ho, ho, ho!" He didn't do it on purpose, of course, but he did, causing the Avengers to practically collapse on the floor with laughter. Thor looked around in bemusement at his friends. "What is so funny?" He asked. He received no reply, for his 'friends' were still chuckling at his laugh. But eventually, they calmed down enough to tell him why they were laughing. There was silence for a moment after they did so. "Ha ha ha!" Thor laughed again, but this time the Avengers managed to keep control of themselves as the laugh sounded a little less like Santa's.
When they'd calmed down slightly, they heard a quiet voice from above them.
"Guys... guys! Hello? You better find me soon because I'm not asking for help... HELP!" Looking around, they couldn't see anyone.
"Clint? Where are you?" Steve asked worriedly.
"Help! I'm... definitely not stuck up the chimney." Came the reply.
"You're up the chimney. How the hell did you even get up there?" Tony whistled.
"Captain! Did you just say 'hell'? What happened to the innocent little guy who came into our lives such a short time ago?" Tony received a scathing glare for his remark.
"He met you, Tony Stark."
"Guys! Quit it! I'm up the chimney! Help me!" Clint yelled down from where he was indeed lodged up the chimney. "Tony, you know it's blocked off, right?"
"Of course I know it's blocked off! I did it myself. Can't have people trying to get into my penthouse via the chimney route. Honestly, Clint, did you not think of that before you tried to escape up my chimney?" There was no reply. "Clint? You still there?"
"I'm still here."
"Not anywhere he could go, to be fair." Bruce added, walking over to the chimney and looking up thoughtfully at it. He could just about make out some of Clint's costume peeking out the bottom of said chimney. "I think we can get you out, Clint, but... maybe not. We might have to call the fire brigade."
"What?" Came Clint's anguished reply. "No! I will not have the fire brigade coming along to drag me out of the chimney like a-a-a... child!"
(((((*((((*(((*((*(*)*))*)))*))))*)))))
"How did he get stuck up the chimney again?"
"We're not sure... but we think he climbed up it to escape us, only to find that it was blocked.
"Hmm... well, we can get him out, but... it may not be the prettiest of sights."
"Don't worry, we'll stay. Don't want to leave poor Barton to the mercies of the fire brigade, after all." The fireman nodded and left to join his colleagues, who were trying to pull Clint out of the chimney.
"Do you think we should warn them what he's wearing?" Steve asked Tony quietly. Tony ponded this question for a moment.
"Nah. They'll see soon enough." There came a clatter from the opposite end of the rather large living room. Steve, Tony, Natasha and Bruce turned to see Thor, looking rather bashful, with one of his relatively large feet stuck into a Christmas stocking. The four simultaneously shook their heads in despair. "I'm not even going to ask how you managed that incredible feat." Tony said, walking over to examine Thor's Christmas-stocking-covered foot.
"It looked like a sock!" Thor protested his innocence. Said demigod was now given several 'are you actually kidding me' looks.
After examining the foot for a while longer whilst the firemen grunted and strained to try and get the archer out of the chimney, Bruce gave his diagnosis.
"There's nothing for it. We're going to have to cut his foot out." Thor's face paled ever so slightly. "Tony, go and get some scissors. Some big ones." Tony's eyes lit up, and he practically ran out of the room to do Bruce's bidding. Thor swallowed.
"Big scissors?" He asked nervously.
"Don't worry, I don't think Tony's had that many drinks. His hands should be steady." Bruce reassured him.
"Then again, knowing Tony, he's probably had quite a few drinks." Natasha interjected. Thor's face was now considerably paler than it had been previously. "I mean, that man likes his liquor."
There was a sucking sound from the other side of the room, and Avengers that were present turned to see Clint sliding out of the chimney. He lay on the floor, panting and looking very embarrassed. The lead fireman wandered back over to Tony.
"Well, he's out. Here's the fire department's number in case he gets stuck again." The man turned to glance at Clint. "And can I just ask, what is he wearing?" Looking back, the man was met by identical grins of mischief.
"Oh, just a little something for Christmas." The man eyed the people in front of him. One was in a Santa Claus outfit, and he currently had his foot stuck in a stocking. Another, a blonde, had reindeer antlers and a red nose, painted on. The last, a slightly nerdy looking man with glasses, had just a Christmas jumper on. The man decided that he wanted nothing more to do with these men.
"Ok then. If there's nothing else, then we best be off. People to save, and the like." The man turned to go. Just as he was about to exit the room, he turned to see that the man in the fairy outfit had rejoined his friends, and another man (who was wearing a 'you can pull my Christmas cracker' jumper and wielding a rather large pair of scissors) had come back into the room. Said man had a slightly maniacal smile on his face.
"Now hold still, Santa, or this will hurt. A lot." The man turned back around. He had seen quite enough for one Christmas.
THE END
Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of its characters, so don't sue me!
So what did you guys think? I was quite tempted to put 'he had seen quite enough for one Clintmas' at the end, but that didn't seem quite right somehow. The rest of the criteria, if you're interested, was to include someone getting stuck up the chimney, and having someone's foot stuck in a stocking.
I also dared my friend (BlackestSlytherin) to write a dare story, so if you check out her profile, then that should be up in a few days (it better be, it has to be up before Christmas).
Thank you guys for reading! Hope you enjoyed it ;)
-Nardhwentheelf
