Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DWARF! That is only a fantasy of mine.

A/N: Haha! I got it! I had to revise it cos I had originally started the story a different way but still had this part written, and some of the stuff from before didn't fit with what I had changed, so I had to edit it. If anything doesn't make sense, that's my fault, so tell me and I will rectify it!

PS: I turn 14 today! Lol, just thought I'd mention that. Anyways, story time!

Holly stared out of his visual unit morosely. He had been staring at the same spot on the wall for hours now, waiting for something interesting to happen. He knew nothing would, but still he waited. Perhaps a group of penguins would burst into the room doing a ballet, and, in the highly unlikely situation of that happening, he didn't want to miss it.

Holly was lonely, but he would never admit it to himself. He had a perfectly good reason for being lonely – he had been on his own for nearly three million years. It hadn't been too horrible for the first couple millennia, but after a while things became dreary and mundane, and Holly felt it weighing on him. He could feel his intelligence slipping away after years of not using it, and it troubled him. By the time the milestone of two million years alone came and went, Holly had deduced that he was almost certainly going senile.

But all of that would soon change, because in a few moments, for the first time in three thousand millennia, he would not be alone. In a few moments, the radiation inside the mining ship would be at a safe enough level to let the last two humans out of stasis.

There was a hiss as the seal to the stasis booth released and the door to the unit swung open. Rimmer looked up as the door swung open with a slight groan. He stepped out into the corridor, and Holly's face appeared on the monitor across from the booths.

"Good morning, Arnold. It is now safe for you to emerge from stasis. Please report to the drive room for debriefing."

He gulped and made his way to the drive room, noticing two things. Firstly, the ship was totally silent, save for the sounds of the engines. The second thing was that there weren't even any other people around, and there were piles of what looked like powdered milk scattered everywhere. He entered the drive room, and the first thing he noticed was one solitary person sitting on one of the desks in a floral Hawaiian t-shirt.

"Lister? What are you doing here?" Rimmer said.

"Rimmer?" Lister said, looking up at Rimmer.

"Holly, what's going on? What happened? Where is everyone?" Rimmer asked, afraid he already knew the answer.

"They're all dead." Holly said monotonously.

"Who is?" Lister asked.

"How?" Rimmer asked simultaneously.

"The drive plate was inefficiently repaired. It released a lethal dose of Cadmium II radiation, killing the crew in seconds. Only you and Dave survived, because you were both in stasis." Holly explained. Rimmer's face froze in a shocked expression.

"How long were we in stasis for?" Lister asked before Rimmer could.

"Three million years."

"Three million years!?" Rimmer repeated. "Three million years away from Earth with him?" Rimmer pointed at Lister, who was staring at Holly, who nodded at Rimmer. "Oh, smeg..." Rimmer sat down at a desk and rubbed his temples. It was quiet for a while.

"Holly?" Lister broke the silence. "What's with all this white powder?" He dipped his middle finger into the pile nearest him, and tasted it. It had a bitter taste, and was very chalky.

"That," Holly said. "Is Navigation Officer Kristine Kochanski." Lister instantly spat out the powder, and wiped his tongue on his sleeve.

"That's Kris?" Lister asked. "Why didn't you mention that before I ate it?" Lister sighed, and stared at the pile of powder morosely. It hadn't fully set in yet. Everyone was dead. Everybody. Everyone except for him and Rimmer.

Rimmer.

He hadn't even thought about that one. He didn't even think of the fact that he was stuck out in deep space with Rimmer. He would go insane. Rimmer, who kept his underwear on coat hangers. Rimmer, who was so stingy that you needed a crowbar to open his coin purse. Rimmer, who had a collection of 20th century telegraph poles and cut out news clippings, which bore headlines such as Arnie Does it Best, just because the people they were about had the same name as him. Usually Lister would at least be able to escape Rimmer by going to get plastered with Petersen and the others, but now he didn't even have that escape.

This had to be singularly the worst thing that had ever happened to him, even worse than being abandoned under a pool table as a baby, worse than having to live in a luggage locker on Mimas. He sifted his hand through the Kochanski-powder and sighed.

Rimmer was walking down the corridor to the sleeping quarters. He was trying to spend as much time as possible on his own. He needed time to think. It still hadn't sunk in fully that him and Lister were the last humans alive. How ironic that the last two humans were a slobby space bum and a man who was thrown up on by most women he met. The species' future seemed hopeless. He had just turned a corner when he heard a noise. It was a clanging coming from an overhead ventilation pipe, followed by a voice. It was muffled, so Rimmer couldn't understand what it was saying, but it seemed to be singing something. He looked up at the vent and it was shaking slightly. It stopped for a minute, and then Rimmer heard a clanging behind him. He looked at the source of the noise, seeing a vent grille wobbling on the floor, when suddenly a pink-clad creature did a flying somersault out of the vent. It stood up, twirling and aowwwwwing down the corridor, until it saw Rimmer. It froze in its tracks.

"Better make myself look big!" it said, bearing its' teeth at Rimmer whilst raising its' arms menacingly above its' head. It worked. Rimmer raced off down the hallway towards the sleeping quarters where Lister was unpacking his possessions from vacuum storage.

"Lister!" He yelled, racing into the quarters.

"What's up with you?" Lister said, his head rising from his pile of curry-stained clothes to look at Rimmer. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Follow me!" he squeaked, running the same direction he came from. Lister rolled his eyes and got up to follow him.

"It's somewhere around here," Rimmer said once Lister caught up.

"What is?" Lister questioned.

"This man in a pink suit! He just jumped out of the air duct and started twirling around."

"Rimmer, are you sure you're not having another one of your episodes again?"

"I'm positive!" He said, exasperated. They walked into the drive room, and the man was standing there, with a portable iron, pressing down on a crease in his seemingly immaculate suit. "See, I wasn't going crazy!" Rimmer whispered, and the man turned around to look at them.

"Holly, who is this?" Lister asked, and Holly's face appeared on the wall monitor.

"He's a cat."

"What do you mean "cat?"

"You know how humans evolved from apes, right? Well, he evolved from cats. His ancestors were cats. He's descended from cats. He is a cat."

"This man is a cat?" Rimmer said unbelievingly.

"That would be correct." Holly said.

Lister looked at the cat and smiled tentatively. "Well… Uh, hello… Cat?"

A/N: A bit more happening in this chapter now, which is good! Anyways, please review, and I'll be posting chapter 3 soon hopefully! Ta!

Carly