A/N- Ok so I know it has been forever since I posted the first chapter. I honestly didn't think it would take this long. You'll be pleased to know I have the next few chapters ready. I just couldn't get over the block and write this. Then Real Life decided to kick up a storm or two and it just was not fun. I never want to apply to university ever again. :(
To give credit where it is due: The Oreos Scene (you'll know it when you get to it) belongs to the one and only Moon_Banana_cat. She's a fantastic author and best friend. Go check out her stuff.
Disclaimer: No children, squirrels, bowling pins, Mickey Mice, trees, pillars, ducks or water beds were harmed in the making of this fic, but the dignity of the characters involved remains to be seen.
I also do not own Mika's song Blame it on the Girls or Oreos...
Chapter 2-Are We There Yet?
The boot slammed, doors slammed, belts clicked in and three sets of eyes turned to the drivers seat.
"Where, might I ask, has that damn werewolf gone?" Lucius asked.
Sev blinked.
"I think he went to the toilet." Sirius' small, distracted voice came from behind his gameboy.
Sev blinked.
And blinked again.
"I...Am...Going...To...Kill...Him."
Remus wandered back to the car humming to himself.
Severus lifted his head and turned to look out the window.
"Oh look! Severus' bat sense is tingling!" Sirius had given up on the game boy and had taken to tormenting Severus.
Glares. Well two sets of glares and a grown man bouncing around like a five-year-old. That's what greeted Remus...
Fwloup. The door closed.
"What's wrong?" Remus looked genuinely confused.
"Where were you?" Severus ground out.
"Toilet..."
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
"Sirius we haven't even left the car park..."
"Severus put the music on."
"No Lucius."
"Crunch, crunch, crunch."
"Do not spill those rainbow drops all over my car Sirius!"
"Can you turn on the music Sev dear?"
"No Lucius."
"Crunch, crunch, crunch"
"Remus would you turn on the music?"
"No Lucius."
"Zzzzzz"
"Has Sevvie fallen asleep Remi?"
"Yes Sirius, why don't you?"
Insert Mika's Blame it on the Girls.
Lucius sings along-badly.
"Where is that abysmal noise coming from?" Severus' acerbic voice broke in.
"My ipod speakers! See!" A happ Lucius was oblivious to his long time friends tone.
Remus drove. Sirius button bashed on his gameboy. Severus pretended to be asleep. And Lucius polished off the packet of oreos, quite content, until a certain Mssr Black noticed.
"Have you eaten that ENTIRE packet by yourself, Poodle?"
The blond man looked down at the empty packet on his lap. The Labrador grinned wickedly and turned off his game, having found a new source of amusement.
"You did, didn't you!"
Lucius turned and looked out the window feeling decidedly guilty.
"You pig you, that's what I should call you! Not Poodle!" Sirius leered across the backseat at his parner.
Severus huffed from the frontseat and shifted so that he was facing the window.
"Leave Luce alone, Mutt."
"But it's true!"
"Guys, quiet down. I'm trying to drive..."
"He's starting with biscuits and then it'll be cakes!"
"Seriously, trying to concentrate here..."
"And he'll get so FAT! BIGGER AND BIGGER!"
Lucius' lip trembled and his eyes shone.
"Sirius, shut up, Lucius is getting upset!"
"AND BIGGER! THEN BOOM!"
"Sirius, trying to drive here!"
"AND HE'LL EXPLODE! LITTLE BITS OF LUCIUS EVERY WHERE!"
"SIRIUS SHUT THE HELL UP!" Remus screamed and all but threw the car round the roundabout.
There was silence in the car and Sirius and Severus stared wide eyed at a fuming Remus. They settled back in their seats.
"Hey Poodle, what's up?" Sirius beamed at his lover.
Lucius burst into tears.
Peace. At last. Remus continued driving. Severus reading quietly next to him, Lucius with headphones in now and Sirius happily munching his rainbow drops and talking softly to his invisible friend.
"RIIIIIIP! SHPLOOOSH!"
"Sirius. You did not just spill ranbow drops all over my car did you?" Remus' voice was dangerously quiet.
"Nooooooooo." Came the obvious lie from Sirius. Sirius knew that tone from Remus. It did not bode well for his future...
A short time later...
"WOO! We're here! Look a Squirrel!"
"Sirius calm down."
"Why is there a que?"
"Sirius stop whining."
"Are we really there yet? Are we really there yet? Are we really there yet?"
"That's it!" Remus slammed on the breaks. "Out Sirius. You can walk the rest of the way to the car park."
